Don't do this: how to get drugged and robbed in Tokyo

[Don't Do This was intended as an article series exploring bad ideas for humorous effect. After The Incident Which Shall Not Be Named we've come to realize the series itself is legally speaking the mother of all bad ideas -- but we'll publish some of the material.]

Tokyo is considered one of the world’s safest cities. Crime is basically zero, everyone is impossibly polite and you can leave your bike lying on the street like it wasn’t a thing. Being the victim of crime in Tokyo is actually REALLY, REALLY difficult. But it’s not impossible.

Here’s a step-by-step guide that will have you balls deep in Rohypnol, cheap hookers, and organized crime before you can say, “Sumimasen, Eizu no shinryoujyo ha dokodesuka?” (“Excuse me, which way to the AIDS clinic?”)

#1. Shinjuku

Head over to Shinjuku in the city’s inner east. Traditionally, Roppongi has been the place for idiot tourists to get hustled, but that area is totally played out and over as far as crime goes. Shinjuku has a much more indie / relevant underworld steez.

#2. Pre-game

Once in Shinjuku find yourself a decent bar and get a few drinks in. Don’t get stupid and start hammering shots — you’re going to get drugged later on so you may as well pace yourself.

Take a moment to appreciate the fact you can smoke cigarettes in all the bars and a packet of Marlboro Golds will only cost you about $4.

#3. Kabukicho

Once you’ve got a nice buzz going, it’s time to find Kabukicho, Tokyo’s red light district. It’s hidden away among Shinjuku’s back-streets but any map will point you in the right direction.

You’ll know you’ve found it when the streets start to resemble a scene from Sega’s Yakuza franchise.

Kabukicho, Tokyo.

Don’t bother heading over until midnight.

#4. Stand out

What you want to do next is spend a good 30 – 40 minutes wondering the block looking like a proper tourist. You’ll probably be the only white person around so it shouldn’t be too difficult to stand out.

#5. Follow the white rab--uh, random black guys

By this point, you should have come to the attention of every halfway crook in the area. Proper Yakuza dudes have better things to worry about than tourists and won’t frick with you.

The African street touts are another matter: You won’t be able to walk ten meters without some guy offering you drugs, women, cheap drinks, whatever. Resist the urge to follow random black guys down dark alleys for “cocaine.”

#6. The shady promoters

Every African guy on the block will try and hustle you into “the best club.” There are two things to keep in mind here: Firstly, any place that allows you to have a look inside without paying cover is halfway legit and way too wholesome for our purposes.

Also, you won’t be getting into any of the really good clubs with the hot Japanese strippers –- they’re reserved for locals and they don’t want your ass in there. Point is, neither of these places will get you bodied. You want somewhere several notches more ghetto. Keep talking to random African dudes.

#7. Ridiculous deals

You’ll know you’ve hit the jackpot when the club is: a. offering some ridiculous deal (i.e. two hours of unlimited drinks and women for $40); b. doesn’t have a name; c. is located up a scary elevator in a random building.

#8. Karaoke and bad couches

Does the club you’ve just walked into look like a third-rate brothel? Congratulations! You’re well on your way to getting drugged and robbed.

As a rough guide, there should be karaoke, bad couches and a bunch of strung out Filipino “hostesses” sitting with drunk salarymen. You’ll notice the lighting is very dim and there are a lot of coats draped across laps.

#9. The secret menu items

If you're a guy, here’s where it starts to get fun: Although your drinks are free, you have to have a girl by your side and you have to buy them drinks. These ladies have expensive taste and the cheapest thing you’ll find on the menu is usually a $30 / $40 glass of champagne.

Keep in mind that certain drinks are more than just a drink. Order a $100 half-bottle of wine for your new lady-friend and she’ll throw in a handjob under the table. Go for the $300 champagne and you’ll get yourself a private dance out back. It’s a pretty standard hustle designed to circumvent prostitution laws…

#10. The complimentary shot of schomehtning..uhh teuiqlol

… but it’s one you probably won’t remember. If the bar is as dodgy as the description above, the African bar guy should be giving you a complimentary shot of “tequila” around the time your hostesses starts working on your belt.

The Rohypnol in the tequila will take about ten minutes to kick in and once you’re under, the staff will retrieve any credit cards in your wallet and start charging huge sums to bogus offshore accounts.

And you? You won’t be waking up for another 10 – 14 hours and that tequila shot will be the last thing you remember.

***

The guys who drug and rob tourists in bars are actually pretty nice about it. They won’t bother stealing your phone / camera and whenever possible, they’ll throw you in a cab and send you back to your hotel. Basically, they want the victim to assume they had a “really big night” and not realize their credit card has been emptied out until they leave the country.

Also, virtually none of the Japanese cops speak English, so even if you do realize what’s happened, good luck making a report.

The good news is your credit card company will (almost certainly) refund the money, so technically the drugs were free.

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  1. 13 years ago
    Amelie

    Australians abroad = the worst.

    • 13 years ago
      free hot dog

      Are Kiwis abroad much better than Aussies? Or is that just what they like to tell themselves?

      • 13 years ago
        allen moffat

        no way! that’s just what the kiwis like to believe because they have a massive chip on their shoulder when it comes to Australia.

        There are so many African touts in Tokyo these days, it’s weird. I was in Tokyo 4 years ago and there were none – returned in 2010 and could of been in Cameroon.

    • 13 years ago
      milk is chillin

      Nothing worse than ‘aussies’ overseas doing that ‘Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!’ / ‘Oi! Oi! Oi!’ shit. It’s embarassing for all involved.

    • 13 years ago
      busted

      since when are Aussies abroad the issue? Or kiwis? Americans are universally hated. Come on now, let’s go back to the way we were. It’s much nicer that way.

  2. 13 years ago
    dryrub

    I can personally vouch for everything in this article except the actually getting roofied part.

    • 13 years ago
      Arv

      Same here. When a similar thing happened to me, I just thought it was bad luck. Didn’t realize it was a thing.

      • 13 years ago
        Mikolai

        You’re both smarter than me…

  3. 13 years ago
    funn stuff

    i stopped reading because your gaijin. you cannot get into a decent brothel as i white kid. i am half’ey and its like trying to argue your way into paying money. namakemono.

  4. 13 years ago
    bloodclot

    same shit in prague except the strippers/”bouncers” are russian and ukranian

  5. 13 years ago
    kure kure takora

    As far as africans in Japan, they’re all Nigerian, they’re all awful people, and they’re all members of an extended family.

    My favorite was the guy who kept on telling me he was from LA with the most Nigerian accent ever.

    • 11 years ago
      Anonymous

      You obviously haven’t lived in Japan long enough. Some of the nicer trustworthy people I’ve met there were the Nigerians

  6. 13 years ago
    victor

    i have been 2 tokyo 4 times in the past year.Why i love tokyo is that it is the safest city in the world.The japanese are very honorable traditional people.Its very true,i dont blame the japanese for not likeing the foreigners,they are the ones commiting all the crime and ruining such a peaceful civilized place like japan,japan is as close to heaven on earth.

  7. 11 years ago
    Its Not Rocket Science!!!

    Dont Go Putting Your Fingers Where They Are Not Suppose To Go!!!

    And Just Because You Are Overseas Somewhere That Is Not An Excuse To Become A Dum F#@K!!!

    If Looking For prostitutes Is why You Went Overseas Then You Robbed Yourself Before You Left Home!!!

    We Already Have That Type Of Asia Here So You Didn’t Need To Travel Halfway Round The World!!!

    Good Grief What Egg Heads@$#@!R^%$$#@@^&*&^%$

  8. 11 years ago
    Anonymous

    drugs for free… well i think think makes it worth the trouble lol

  9. 11 years ago
    Anonymous

    I got robbed about 400 dollars. Started by a guy offering me a girl for sex in shinjuku. I didn’t really want but just wanna try and see how things are. Then the guy send me to another guy who wear suit. And said I have to pay 16000 yens for a girl and another 20000 yens for deposit. I was reluctant to pay and somehow I was stupid enough to pay. Then the guy just keep adding extra cost and brought me to the hotel which they did the same thing. I realized I never seen any girl and it was probably frick up. Then those guy just disappeared. I had very bad experience in Tokyo. And really disappointed with Japanese. Which was the reason why I trusted them first place. Trusted them enough to pay big sum of money. But good bye, Japanese. U ruined your own reputation.

  10. 11 years ago
    sdcal

    I cant stand africans in tokyo, there is not that many as most japanese think black people as the lowest race of people and they don’t let many in. But the ones that are here are usually bothering people on the streets trying to get then to go into some nappy reggie or hiphop shop. It would great if all blacks were kicked out of japan, they have no manners and integrate the least, but the whiny american liberals would probably make a fuss about it. Multiculturalism doesn’t work, it never has.

  11. 10 years ago
    Joseph the Dufus

    Where’s the part about getting balls deep in organized crime? I totally excepted this to be like Hangover 4: Tokyo.

  12. 10 years ago
    Aussie Dave

    Folks,
    Btw, entertaining article! You go looking for it and it will most certainly find you.

    I’ve only been in Tokyo for a short time and am loving it. Had Germany and Nordic countries up there as the most switched on and progressive places until this trip. The Japanese ppl to me appear to really take pride in themselves and their nationhood. They care about keeping a clean environment and are precise in most of their achievements(scratch Fukushima). I’ve found them friendly, creative, logically minded and up for a beer or 3 in the tiny hole in the wall bars you stumble upon.
    As for the migrants being portrayed above, cruising through Shibuya yesterday I noticed a number of these men loitering about, propositioning those unwary enough to wander their way. You’ll always get an element trying to take advantage of the weak. It’s primal, sadly.

    Whaling and other mammal harvesting methods used by the Japanese, these topics are better left for another day.

    As for boorish Australian behaviour, well, we do have our fair share of apes navigating around this earth, but none more so than any other country.

  13. 10 years ago
    Ano

    To all, be fricking careful!

    I just got robed of a few Nigerians.
    Firstly one guy talked to me and offered me for 3000 Yen to drink so much as i can.
    I thought it’s a nice deal.. how stupid!!!

    actually i just wanted to drink and relax… suddently 2 girls came to me and talked. I was like.. okay let’s talk but i don’t want more.
    Suddenly i was drunk!! I didn’t really realize it! !!!
    7 hours later ( about 7am) i woke up and the black guy started to scream to me: YOUR CREDID CARD DOESN’T WORK! PAY 100’000 Yen now!
    More nigerians came and screamt to me. I was fricked up!! So i told them to bring me to an ATM to withdraw money.
    I went to an ATM and i realized my fricking wallet was EMPTY! I had about 60’000 Yen inside!
    So i got really angry and told them. I’m fricking fricked up! Call the fricking police and let’s talk. You have already taken my money!!!
    Then they started to pull me out of this area. They wanted me to go where no people are. I started to fight back and was so angry.
    Then they disappeared!

    The police couldn’t do anything, so don’t even try!

    Location: Shinjuku, the clubs name is “diamond club” they said! But after i went back to look, there was no club with this name. I really don’t remember anything!

    I was so stupid enough, so guys, don’t be so stupid like me!
    I realized i’ve been druged after reading this article! Thank you!

  14. 10 years ago
    BOB

    Hi
    I am staying very close to “Diamond Bar” right now
    I arrived in Tokyo last night, and went for a walk around 8am this morning.

    The Manager (supposedly Jamaican) approached me and tried to get me into this bar, I did go up… just so he could give me his business card. Which I did get…. I was offered free drinks etc, but I refused and was able to leave fairly quickly. I do believe what you say, it did look real dodgy especially when the door is locked at all times – I don’t want to go into more details, but I do have his contact details if you need them.

    Bob from USA

  15. 10 years ago
    BOB

    Does anyone know where I cam watch male strippers in Shinjuku or roppongi?

  16. 10 years ago
    Unknown

    Warning !!!! Do not come to Kabukicho if you are alone or with 1 friend, unless u come with a group of people more than 4.. or else this is the most regretful things u will do in your life.. trust me or else u are so damn stupid ass in the world

  17. 10 years ago
    Erik

    Went thru Kabu tonight as it was the quickest to get to my hotel barring metro (higashi shinjuku). My gf
    wasn’t with me and I was summarily approached by a large Nigerian. I said back off and shoved him a few feet after about 50metres. He then swung at me. My fight or flight response said fly and so i did as there were companions. I shudda just kept walking but it pissed me off he was in japan doing this shit. Glad I didn’t get into s fist fight as he was 100lbs my senior (scrawny nordic kid). What a shitty area. Glad I don’t drink abroad as well. Another nighr I walked with my gf they kept their distance, so you’d better not go solo as a westerner.

  18. 9 years ago
    Blank

    You had me laughing out loud at the last “The good news, your bank will almost certainly return your money, so basically the drugs were free”!!
    That is like a spot-on description of my experience in Kabucho haha. I realize now that when your tequila shot is piss-yellow and hers are normal, you should probably not drink it. The bouncers were looking pretty scared when I called the bank and made them deny transaction of the 156.000 yen after two of these shots ;b I’m thanking my Scandanavian genes for not blacking out on me!

  19. 9 years ago
    Beno

    All this is true. I was a fool and scammed in Shinjuku by African dude. I foolishly agreed to have a drink. I was offered a deal to drink for an hour for 3000 yen. After an hour they wanted to charge me 10000 because I bought a drink for a girl. I refused and finally compromised to pay 7500. I didn’t think it was that bad seeing as I had quite a bit of fun and drank quite a lot. This was the problem though being so drunk I didn’t see that they added an extra zero to the credit card transaction which I discover after getting home. The experience cost me 750000! Yen which is about 800 bucks! FRICK

  20. 9 years ago
    Kam kam

    Stay away from the black people!! I was offered a 1h30 min free drink for 4000yen. The girl who sat with me offered me a deal for sex for 20,000yen. After I paid, they brought a bottle of wine which I did not ask. After sometime, i insisted to go in the room for sex. A black guy came in and took me to some place and ask me to pay another 16000 yen. I then realised they have fooled me. I have even went to report to the police. They said sex is illegal in Japan and they cannot help me.

    • 7 years ago
      Luke F

      Kam Kam – did you actually get to have the sex you paid for?

  21. 9 years ago
    Jon T

    Roppongi “totally played out”? Oh no, unfortunately, I can vouch from personal experience on around the 31st January 2015 that being drugged and robbed in Roppongi is very much still happening.

    I was with a friend and we managed to get split up and both drugged and robbed. I was more fortunate than my friend because he was given a black eye after trying to (although he has no memory of it) destroy his ATM card. They seem to have been satisfied with stealing whatever cash in my wallet (I estimate at least 50K Yen).

    My wallet was definitely rummaged through, but they didn’t seem to do anything with my credit cards. All of them have been cancelled to be safe.

    I’m glad I came across this article because having serious memory loss of the evening left me with no idea how I got back to my hotel. The idea that they “helped” me find my way back to a taxi sounds like a plausible explanation.

  22. 9 years ago
    chester

    Wow. Word for word what happened to me.

  23. 9 years ago
    ali

    Something similar happened to me a few days ago. In the red district, a black american guy approached me and offered me a bar, I said no and kept walking, he kept following me and said you will have girls, etc, I asked him if it was an oppai pub? He said yes. So I thought, ok why not.

    They make you drink and then make you order drinks for the girl, and then they offer you another girl and make you stay longer. By that point you are out of your mind (I think they put something in your drinks) while the girls are completely sober (so obviously their drinks weren’t alcoholic).
    He charged > $2k on my debit card but told me the transaction didn’t go through, made me go and pull cash from a bank (all while I’m drunk). The machine refused to hand out more than $900. He then took me to a nearby hotel so I can sleep (was completely out of it). Didn’t steel my passport or anything like that. Next morning when I woke up I checked my bank account and holy frick there’s a $2.2k charge on my debit card even though I thought he said it wasn’t accepted!

    I realized I got played real bad, and that there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s a very shady business and if I report it to the police they either won’t be able to help me, or worse I might get in trouble for pursuing illegal activities.

    I’m contemplating whether I should try to dispute the debit transaction with my bank, but that just might get in even more trouble. It’s probably best to take it as a hard life lesson and accept the fact that I’m completely powerless about it.

    Ah, yes, I’m totally the kind of idiot tourist described in this article

  24. 9 years ago
    Anonymous

    Just be smart about it. Honestly I wasn’t going into it trying to score anything, I just wanted to check it out, but before I went I left all my CC and most of my money at my place and only took 1,000 yen with me. Everytime someone approached me I just opened up my wallet and said this is all I have, most of them just walked away, a few stayed. I ended up getting pulled into a Nigerians club and he said it’s free to come and look around, I’ll even buy you a beer, if you enjoy your time then come back tomorrow. This wasn’t like one of the ones described here though. The main entrance looked like a 5 star hotel, went up these nice marble stair cases and then there were four rooms down this hallway, each room lead to a different Nigerians club. Walked in, he said something in Japanese and all of a sudden 7 girls walked around the corner and stood there. He asked me which one I liked and I again told him I don’t have any money. Then he sat me down and through the two most attractive my way. I got my free beer, the girls talked with me, rubbed me, gave me dances, moved my hands into their breasts, etc. still seemed like they were trying to persuade me to spend money then, but I just made it a point to remind them that I didn’t have any money. After awhile I tried to leave but ended up having 2 girls holding on telling me not to leave while a third one walked in front of me, started rubbing me until I got hard,, bent over, and started bouncing against me. This got me to stay for a little bit longer, but eventually I told them I really did need to leave and they said ok, gave me a hug, some goodbye rubbing, and I was on my way. In the end I spent almost 2 hours talking and rubbing on 2-3 girls and got a free beer but paid $0. Maybe I was just lucky to get all that, but the point of this story is if you show that you have no cards and next to no cash, the ones that want to overcharge your CC’s or steal all your cash will leave you alone. Of course this method does not work if you are going in there planning on spending hundreds of dollars on girls.

  25. 9 years ago
    Solo American Guy

    Just wanted to thank you and the follow commenters for the stories. I’m travelling to Tokyo alone soon and know what to avoid. Even putting together a fake wallet with cancelled credit cards if I need the decoy.

  26. 9 years ago
    Andy

    Me and a friend got roofied at diamond club got told to come inside for unlimited drinks for 3000 yen.
    I woke up in some random hotel lobby being with two corrupt police who wouldn’t let me go and I managed to sober up and just thought to walk out they didn’t chase me or anything. Got back to the hotel and my wallet was cleaned out of Australian money and about 30k in yen.
    Night clubs here are amazing but stay away from small clubs especially when Africans invite you inside

  27. 9 years ago
    say no to corruption

    what does he mean by (before you can say, “Sumimasen, Eizu no shinryoujyo ha dokodesuka?” (“Excuse me, which way to the AIDS clinic?”) for what i understand is they cant even get their dick inside the locals…..is that right???? answer me someone

  28. 9 years ago
    Roppongi still scamming

    Word for word happened to me and my group of friends in roppongi. The only difference was they called the club “temptation” and touted it as a stripclub. Nigerian on the street who called himself “Walter” offered us all we could drink for 3000. After we refused he offered the same deal for 1000. In the elevator that turned into a drink and a “free shot” – tequila or vodka for 1000. We all can hold our alcohol, but we were out cold 10 minutes after the shot. Luckily, we only carried cash, and didn’t buy any drinks for the girls so there was no confusion. The host woke us out of our drug trance by demanding we pay our 1000 yen per person and get out if we weren’t going to spend more money.

  29. 8 years ago
    Rob

    Same exact scam is still going on in shinjuku. Why do the japanese tolerate it?

  30. 8 years ago
    Rob

    I followed 9 of these steps (all except for #2). Woke up in a staircase by police at 6am with a black eye, no phone or wallet. Flashbacks days later, I remember the FIRST “complimentary” shot, being passed put on the couch and just saying “yes” to any question, which turned out to be if I wanted to buy a bottle. Trying to leave and being told to pay for that bottle, not remembering agreeing to buy it, still trying to leave and getting a Nigerian slug to the face. That’s it.

    A few weeks later I got hustled by the same guy, he said “I recognise you from somewhere”, I replied “Oh I’ve been to your club before, had a crazy night and lots of fun”, went there with him, poked my head inside and knew it was the place. Was going to go to the police but… Frick it, they fricked me over well and high five to them for the good job.

    I went there with my buddy, I don’t remember his leaving but he left (they knew I had the credit card) and he said he got home (lived close) and woke to his brother giving him CPR while having a drug overdose (shaking and foaming at the mouth). He later told me they gave me two complimentary shots and him one, so I’m thankful I’m alive.

    This happened in 2014, the most fricked up part is that I had read this article about 1 year before it happened haha. At least I have a good story to tell (I’m a glass half full kinda person).

  31. 8 years ago
    myco

    As someone who spent a sketchy week in Shinjuku, I can tell you this is an excellent guide.

  32. 8 years ago
    Rob #2

    Holy crap! I’d never read this article, but this EXACT scenario happened to me almost VERBATIM!!! Started at a bar in Golden Gai (highly recommended btw. Made friends with some awesome locals) and got pretty lit up to begin with. Basically collowed steps 3-10 to a T! Charged $2000 or so to my credit card and I woke up sleeping on a ledge between a bush and a fence haha. Snapped a picture thinking, “not sure if I’ll remember this later.” Turns out I didn’t, but I did return to my capsule hotel where I had intended to stay that night and passed out for a good 8 hours past my checkout time. As stated, bank refunded my money. Wild times in Kabukicho

  33. 8 years ago
    Anon

    So by the looks of it, the takeaway here is to ignore all Africans who approach you in Tokyo.

    • 8 years ago
      Curious

      I have a friend who claims this happened to him – he went to a club after being approached by a black man, once inside he was given lots of drinks and bought drinks for the girl that joined him including wine and champagne. He claimed he had lap dances and the girl was joined by another girl who he then had to buy drinks for. He was offered sex, he accepted this but had to push for it to take place. It was only when they thought he was leaving did the black guy then take him to another part of the building (supposedly for sex) where they took all the cash from his wallet but closed the door in his face. Meanwhile the club had charged over £1000 to his credit card. He claims he didn’t have any sort of sex (no hand jobs/blow jobs- nothing) is this likely??

    • 8 years ago
      Jim

      No matter what continent, country, city. If you have blacks, you have the same scenario played out. Across the world, the blacks have a bad reputation for mugging, stabbing, shootings etc. UK, American, Canadian, Australian, French, Italian…pretty much you name the country, the prisons are full of these people. I really would have thought that the Japanese would be smarter than to allow them into the country. I know it is difficult for them to enter many Arab countries. Blacks wonder why they are considered the lowest rung on the foodchain, well it is obvious. They are filthy, disease ridden criminals. Total scum. We need to start a movement, Black Lives Don’t Matter.

    • 7 years ago
      Anonymous

      The Africans in Shinjuku are annoyingly pwrsistent but they are just doing a job. Use common sense, decline and keep walking.

      To be perfectly honest there are so manynicer places to drink and have fun in Tokyo I’ll never understand the appeal of the redlight district.

      Its gross and its about the only part of Japan your likely to, through your own stupidity, be robbed.

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