Any books being more mindful and speaking less?

Any books being more mindful and speaking less?
Anything about being able to tell when others are attempting to manipulate you and how to guard against such things?

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  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Also looking for something about limiting impulsivity and keeping a constant mind. I feel like I forget what I believe every time I go to sleep and wake up a different person.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous
  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    If you like reading and you like writing that means you have no chance of ever being able to shut the frick up. It is not your way. Integrate it instead of trying to shut it out. Leave quietude for the quiet ones.
    If you attempt this, with your nature, you'll fail, and you'll likely wind up using your gift (not being able to shut the frick up) to speak uselessly, or even maliciously, instead of saying anything beneficial.

    Direct your energy, you cannot extinguish it

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      OK OP I answered your thread

      Idk if the answer is to your liking. But I answered it. Will you do me a favor and read my thread in return?
      >

      [...]

      I haven't written anything in six years and require feedback. If you do I'll try to come up with a better answer.

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    My diary tbh. I'm always the quiet guy, I can't make bullshit up

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Eric Fromm, understanding motivation is understanding concious action

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The Buddhists are likely the best place to look. Seeking more economy in speech means you will likely have to speak less. An easy way to begin this process is taking a vow of silence one day of the week and training yourself to be mindful. Your core intuition is likely sufficient to recognize basic attempts at manipulation. For more sophisticated attempts you will have to train yourself to keep a registry for error correction purposes and learn to recognize and discern the different aspects of these since due to complexity they are not quite as simple as being something that can be reduced to gut checks.

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    I will suggest something; generally, a chattery mind means questions left unresolved. The questions gnaw at you. If they didn't, your mind would shut up and give you slightly more peace. The issue is sometimes we don't even realize the questions exist, but if there wasn't a question we weren't sure of, we wouldn't be thinking so much.
    If you can figure that out and find, if not an answer, then at least a lack of an answer that you can live with, your mind may give you some peace.
    But hopefully not too much! The world needs its thinkers.

    And I read your comment on my work and replied to it; not too long or meandering at all, I greatly appreciated it. Thank you.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Well I certainly feel like most of the biggest questions in life cannot be answered, and maybe some about myself personally I cannot answer or simply refuse to believe in the answer. I'm definitely a restless soul surrounded by people who outwardly (pretending?) contentedness and at least appear to have the answers.
      I often think it's impossible to discern the innate meaning of life if there is one, and most peoples answer to the purpose of existence seems to derivative. But also maybe I refuse to let myself be content, it's just that these questions do gnaw at me constantly. I don't understand how so many people seem so self confident. Do they not have the same questions? Surely they do so how can they be so sure in their answer. Or maybe they are just wiser and know there is no point in getting over questions that cannot be answered but I cannot help it

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Most other people either don't ever have these questions come to mind, or they do, but they busy themselves.
        Many people, probably most, are do-ers. And some people are thinkers. Neither one can help it, and each serves a purpose. And, each suffers.
        You and I do not have calloused hands, so in exchange, we get restless minds.

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Without knowing your environment I cannot say whether your feelings of nervousness are justified or not. It sounds like you may be inadvertently or perhaps subconsciously trying to take ownership of too many things, especially if you are feeling the need to make yourself understood so much. This is not to say you should refrain from doing so but if you are taking ownership of everyone else's problems then you will certainly start to feel as though you are being manipulated. Striking a balance on this is not something that will be easy per se, but once you begin filtering out the problems you do not have any business assuming ownership of then your self-confidence will grow and you will likely feel the need to overexplain diminish proportionately.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >take ownership of too many things
      >taking ownership of everyone else's problems
      Genuinely not sure what you mean by this. I'm too sensitive and over projecting?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        No not necessarily. In what context are you feeling the need to be understood and why do you feel the need to be understood so much? What sort of situations prompt you to feel this way?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Honestly just any social situation, beit working with a stranger or talking to an old friend or even a family member. I think I've always just felt misunderstood. Either people always think I'm something I'm not or I'm unable to see myself as I really am. I have always been kinda isolated socially that might account for these feelings. I have always had trouble making friends and last time I thought I had a good group of friends I was accused of being a thief and a liar even though I hadn't wronged any of them and had only wanted to be their friend. For a time I became addicted to drugs and became used to not trusting or being trusted but all I want now is be be as genuine as possible and meet genuine good people.

          https://i.imgur.com/iY4Xxgq.jpg

          Oh cool I think I actually have this on my audible account.

          Most other people either don't ever have these questions come to mind, or they do, but they busy themselves.
          Many people, probably most, are do-ers. And some people are thinkers. Neither one can help it, and each serves a purpose. And, each suffers.
          You and I do not have calloused hands, so in exchange, we get restless minds.

          One can be a bit of both I like to think. Lol I wish I didn't have callouses, I dig trenches while thinking about life and find myself digging in the wrong spot because I failed to focus on the task at hand. My powers of concentration are very lacking.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            You sound like a target for abuse and manipulation but it seems like you're a good guy, most of this is usually caused by being raised by narcs or psychos, they train you to act in a certain way which other abusers pick up on and use against you, you end up attracting those people because they seem familiar to you.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            🙁

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            You obviously have a higher calling, which is why you're asking the bigger questions about life. Find a spiritual path, you'll be fine.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Thanks, this book looks really interesting. I like the expert on the back

            Have you been tested for autism?

            Lol I've been tested for learning abilities and not told that I have autism, though my mom did tell me once that maybe I do have Asperger's. I have gone through periods in my life when I felt socially competent and people seemed to like me.

            Have you been tested for autism?

            >Well, if the previous group unfairly or wrongfully accused you of something you did not do then distancing yourself from them might not be a bad idea.
            While I was wrongfully accused in some peoples case it might not have been unfair to draw such a conclusion. I try not to be mad about it. Also these were locations that had many drinks and acid heads going in and out. I knew better than to be around these people but I had been camping off and on for months and needed a little civilization and human companionship. The more I think about it my buddy who had recently been addicted to cocaine may have framed me. Anyway they followed me around town for days calling me a thief and liar till I went back up into the mountains. Worst few days of my life but also best summer.

            >When you are at work it might be helpful to remember that you do not always get the chance to pick the people you work with, this is not to say that they cannot become friends but it is more to say that you likely do not know aspects about them they would not show at work, so perhaps staying more on guard is a better idea.
            This is where I struggle the most and receive the most problems. I feel like Its difficult to not either be too friendly and vulnerable or an obtuse c**t. Hard for me to find middle ground.

            >Old friends
            Now that I'm thinking about it maybe a little if my old friends do have abusive qualities that I tried to ignore or overlook.

            This is what I meant about integration; I know we can't really choose our work, it's not that simple, I understand. So I'm not trying to sound aloof or moronic. But I used to do hard labor too and the exact same thing would happen to me, and at some point I simply said, I will literally never not be thinking. I have been like this my entire life. It is who I am. I either need a job that let's me get away with living in my head, or a job that integrates a strategy for using this constructively, like a spiritual type of job.
            I just got a third shift job. No boss and very low expectations. Lol not exactly shooting for the stars, but, I no longer hurt myself, underperform or poorly operate heavy machinery while I'm battling my mind.

            I have decided construction isn't for me. Being absent minded makes me look genuinely too dumb to do simple shit like dig a hole. But I have been looking into taking horticulture classes at a local college. I'm thinking cultivating plants could hold my interest and maybe even finding a bit of fun being an arborist who climbs trees all day and some adrenaline could help me focus. Although maybe operating chainsaws in trees is a bad idea for someone who is often absent minded.
            >Third shift job
            Night shift? Sounds pretty cozy. I got offered a night time warehouse job but wasn't sure if I'd be up to working all night and sleeping all day.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Have you been tested for autism?

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Well, if the previous group unfairly or wrongfully accused you of something you did not do then distancing yourself from them might not be a bad idea. When you are at work it might be helpful to remember that you do not always get the chance to pick the people you work with, this is not to say that they cannot become friends but it is more to say that you likely do not know aspects about them they would not show at work, so perhaps staying more on guard is a better idea. For friends you do not see frequently or old friends you have to take into account that they are operating on a framework of who you are as they knew you. This should not be misconstrued to mean that they will not like you if you change but rather to say they may not, there is no point in lying about yourself, I would advocate staying as genuine as you feel comfortable being. If you feel that you are being manipulated in some way then perhaps that is when you should speak up about being misunderstood, trying to do this too often may honestly just be unnecessary.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            This is what I meant about integration; I know we can't really choose our work, it's not that simple, I understand. So I'm not trying to sound aloof or moronic. But I used to do hard labor too and the exact same thing would happen to me, and at some point I simply said, I will literally never not be thinking. I have been like this my entire life. It is who I am. I either need a job that let's me get away with living in my head, or a job that integrates a strategy for using this constructively, like a spiritual type of job.
            I just got a third shift job. No boss and very low expectations. Lol not exactly shooting for the stars, but, I no longer hurt myself, underperform or poorly operate heavy machinery while I'm battling my mind.

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

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