Often clients ask what type of man turns me on. After one (phone sex) call where I gave my honest answer I’ve learned it’s best to tailor my response.
I was still a newbie phone sex operator when a guy asked what kind of man attracted me. Without thinking I told him: broad shoulders, deep voice, long hair, facial hair, in shape but not overly muscular, the type of man that can split wood and fix a car, kinky, intelligent, well read, politically active and independent, the type of person who purposely lives outside of mainstream culture, funny, tattoo’d, eccentric, artistic.
After I was finished my client said “oh” and then was silent for a few minutes. I knew I had said something wrong.
Then he said, “that doesn’t describe me at all.”
I tried to backpedal and assure him that I’d be attracted to him. But the damage was done and the rest of the call was tepid.
Still, I learned a valuable lesson from it.
Now I’m purposely vague about what I find attractive. My new answer is I like a man who’s submissive, kinky and loves to worship a woman. If I know what the client is into I’ll throw his kinks into my answer. It’s like the question is a request for reassurance. They want to know that I’m attracted to them and that if we met in person they’d have a chance with me.
Occasionally clients send me their pictures. I always find this interesting. Can I see the kink hidden in their face? Sometimes I can. Sissies and crossdressers lips have something about them that set off my kinkdar. It’s especially interesting if the picture is taken in their house. It’s like I get a mini peek into their lives. I had a crossdresser sent me a picture of himself in his bedroom and I saw a picture of myself on his nightstand. That was neat.
A regular once sent me a picture of himself and wanted to talk about it the whole call. Normally, my clients are all ok looking. They may not be attractive to me but they aren’t ugly. Just not my type. This regular was pretty much the opposite of what I like – short crew cut hair, clean shaven, but most importantly he was a preppie. He looked to be at a political gathering so I asked him about it. Sure enough, he was at some young Republicans fundraiser. He wasn’t attractive to me at all.
I knew that telling him I thought he was cute would sound fake as hell so I took another tactic. “I bet a ton of women think you’re attractive. I bet you get hit on all the time,” I told him.
He took the bait and ran with it. He told me of the throngs of women that threw themselves at him. But ultimately they didn’t know of his kinky side so he was still a submissive waiting for a mistress. The call went smoothly after that.
I think of it as stroking their ego. I don’t mean that to sound demeaning. We all like our egos stroked. I appreciate it when guys tell me how attractive I am in my photos and when people tell me how pretty my handknit sweaters are. Compliments feel good.
Some of my clients need reassurance that they’re still attractive to women. Part of my job is to tell them they are. If I gave my real answer to what kind of man I’m attracted to it might alienate them and that’s the last thing either of us want.