Ladies, we might know how to turn a man on, but do we know what turns him off?
While there’s no doubt your feminine wiles are powerful man magnets, there are things you do – things we all do – that turn men off big time. I dare you to type “biggest male turn-offs” into your search engine, and you’ll see there’s no shortage of information on the subject. If you’re anything like me, you’ll soon realize you’ve been turning off men since you started trying to turn them on. Eh, whatevs.
Check out 25 of the biggest male turn-offs after the jump; let us know your thoughts in the comments below!
Crying
Shoot us while we're down! According to YourTango, when a man smells a woman's tears he becomes less attracted and sexually aroused by her. And here we thought it was the snot.
A study published in the journal Science found that when men smell women's tears, they became less sexually aroused and were less attracted to the same women than when they smelled a saline solution that was dribbled on the women’s cheeks. Researchers think this may illustrate a biochemical cue women give off to non-verbally communicate, "Not tonight dear," particularly when we're PMS-ing or having our periods.
If you want to keep him hot and bothered, it might pay to curb weepiness.
Friendships with your exes
"He's a great guy, it just didn't work out," you say. The whole "really great guy" thing is the problem.
Making plans for him
Never make plans for him without checking first, according to MSN Glo. (Note: Hacking into his calendar doesn't count as checking either.)
Any man can relate to this moment: You’re on your way home from work, imagining the weekend ahead ... the relaxation, the freedom. Then you arrive home, only to learn that you have plans. Here’s the deal: If you’re determined to make plans that include your husband or boyfriend, ask him first.
Indecisiveness
He doesn't care what color you dye your hair or which shoe looks better, just pick one and be done already, he's hungry.
Mothering him
He loves you mothering him until he hates it. A little TLC is fine, but leave the mothering to the woman impossible to replace.
Competitiveness
A little healthy competition is fun, sexy even. But you're a sulky sultress every time you don't win, you're no fun to play with. Make love, not war.
Being high maintenance
You might be Daddy's Little Girl but in a relationship you're supposed to be a grown ass woman.
Telling his secrets
OK, there are "secrets" and then there are secrets. You know the difference, now shhh! MSN Glo suggests the loyalty and confidentiality we keep will encourage continued communication:
Sometimes opening up to you also means opening up to your sister, your mother or even your college roommate. Men value loyalty and confidentiality. Keeping the things we share between us — and only us — builds trust and will encourage even more communication.
Hating his sports or games
If sports are his religion, let him have them without distraction. If you really want to know the rules of the game, ask him to explain when there's not a game on.
Being a little girl
A bedroom filled with Sanrio is not sexy. I repeat, not sexy.
Flakiness
Perpetual lateness and putting yourself before others is an unattractive quality. eHarmony.com went so far as to say flakiness gives off the impression that he's a temporary fixture in your life.
Guys report that one of the biggest turnoffs when dating a woman is when she either can’t commit to plans or constantly flakes on plans. If you regularly pencil in your plans with a “maybe” and/or cancel plans at the last minute, you’re giving your guy the impression that he’s tentative in your life, aka “good enough for now.” Who wants to date someone who makes them feel temporary? Chances are you don’t, and you shouldn’t be the girl who makes her date feel that way either.
Wearing too much makeup
Unless you're a high fashion model or a drag queen, he thinks less is more.
Acting like you know better
Stop judging his friends and family. He likes them, even if you don't.
Nagging
What do you mean constant nagging isn't a turn-on? We don't understand.
But seriously, constantly asking or reminding a man to do something will come across as controlling and annoying. Instead of nagging, try to have an open and honest conversation about your needs and expectations. This will help you both understand each other's perspective and find a compromise that works for both of you.
Drama
Sister, put down the frying pan. Take a walk, shop, eat, cry, or whatever you have to do to keep your special brand of crazy on the DL.
Talking too much during sex
Don't ask him what he's thinking (you don't want to know), and don't talk about the kids (he doesn't want to know, at least not right then anyway).
While communication is important during sex, it's important to also be aware of your partner's needs and desires. If he seems to be less interested in conversation during sex, try to focus on other forms of communication like physical touch or eye contact.
Making jokes at his expense
A playful jab is probably OK when made in good spirit to the proper audience, but tread lightly. Make sure you're both on the same page and that your jokes aren't crossing any boundaries.
Being a boring bedfellow
He's more than willing to put in the work, but he doesn’t want you to just lay there. At least pretend you want to be there -- it's important to keep things interesting and exciting in the bedroom. Experimenting with different positions, fantasies, or trying new things can help keep the spark alive.
Playing therapist
While it's great to have someone to talk to about your problems, constantly venting and seeking advice from your partner can be draining for them. It's important to recognize that your partner may not be equipped to handle the emotional burden of being your therapist.
This can be especially true if you're constantly bringing up negative topics. It's okay to share your feelings with your partner, but also make sure you're giving them a chance to talk about their own life and feelings too.
Staking claim at his place
Unless you're specifically invited to occupy a drawer, leave your scented candles at home. While it can be tempting to want to leave your mark on your partner's living space, it's important to remember that it's still their space. Make sure you're not overstepping boundaries and always ask before leaving anything behind. It's important to respect your partner's space and belongings.
Giving ultimatums
Strong-arm a man into marriage and he'll strong-arm you into the land of resentment. Ultimatums can be a sign of insecurity and lack of trust in the relationship. Instead of forcing your partner into a decision, try to have an open and honest conversation about your needs and wants. Remember that a healthy relationship involves compromise and mutual respect.
Drinking like a minor
He came to party, not to babysit. Shy Magazine says once a lady gets sloppy, all bets are off.
Trying to change him
While it's natural to want to help your partner grow and improve, it's important to respect his individuality and autonomy. Constantly criticizing and trying to change him can erode his self-confidence and damage the relationship. Instead, try to focus on the things you love and appreciate about him.
Having bad hygiene
This is where both sexes meet on a united front. Take care of yourself, and not only when things start getting funky.
Reading articles like this
Oh, how he hates it when you read generalizations about him. Mostly because he knows they're right.
I think you could have summed this up more quickly. Turn-on: be so naturally attractive that you’re uber-hot without much makeup, show up on time smelling good, do him, and leave promptly without any unnecessary chit-chat or accidentally forgetting any belongings. Basically, emulate a very high-end hooker.
I would really appreciate it, as a reader, if the author would take responsibility and explain to us why she posted it and how it is useful to her readers. Or, apologize for the offense. Just something, anything, to show that you take your readership seriously.
Show me the front door ladies. I’m a man and every single one of these is true. What’s the matter, can’t handle the truth?
I have to agree with the others. This is boring, silly, sexist nonsense, and it’s the reason I’m not here as much as I have been for the last 5 years.
I also don’t understand the compulsion to continue writing the same sad posts that have provoked negative reactions in the past. We don’t like slide shows when the photos aren’t crucial to the post. We don’t like silly, sexist stereotypes. It’s been said over and over. What is the point of insisting on repeating posts like this? Is the goal to alienate everyone and end up with no readers? Why?
Ladies, get off your soap boxes! Yes, these are trite. Yes, these are cliched. That happens because they’re true VERY often! Nobody is suggesting that women be superhuman, cater to their men, or never show emotion. What this article is suggesting is not to never do these things. Frankly, that would bore most of us guys to tears. What it IS suggesting is, if you display any of the behaviors CONSISTENTLY, you might want to reexamine your own personal stability! Any of these things individually is not big deal Any of them done ALL THE TIME would be a very big deal.
Just like all the irritating things us guys do. Sure, once every so often, no big deal, you can live with it. It’s when we do them OVER AND OVER again that it becomes a big deal.
ok so im a guy and this is my first time reading anything on this website but i don’t understand all the negative comments. if any of you were my girl, your bags would have been packed long ago. is she wrong in saying that any of these are turn offs? because to me and a majority of men this list is 100% accurate. and if you didn’t want to read an article about things women do that men don’t like, why did you click on it in the first place?
I dare say that hygiene offenders are men 3 times more often than women. And how would a “mommy” even know what a guy wants?
I know what a guy wants – he’ll chug a beer and watch his sports while you keep the kids out of his hair, and then you can finish the day faking an orgasm, and it’s certainly fun to learn about all of this with demeaning terms like “sister” thrown in. No guy wants to help with the dishes! Take out the trash? No way! And he doesn’t want to hear about how he never helps out, either, because nagging is a turn off. Why, oh why, do women nag? Don’t they realize it’s a turn off? Don’t they want their quota of man time in the bedroom tonight?
The author of this article is a misogynist man, but I’ll grant him that all of these can be turned around and explained to men as turn-off behavior as well, and it would be entirely correct. It’s a good thing all men and women ever wish to do is turn eachother on. Oh, no wait, the man wouldn’t even watch football if that were the case. Sorry to break it to you, guys, but we women have better things to worry about as well, than whether we are constantly sexy enough to turn on our beer-chugging, ball scratching, football boob-tube glued man.
I have been married 29 years. These are all things (most of them anyway) that have come up in one way or another. Yes, constant reminding is nagging. Shut up. Etc. You want to get married? You gotta see it aint all about you, honey. And that means you might have to get it together and make an effort. And keep making that effort if you want to keep him (and stay married). Can’t make a guy love you. But you can make him want to stay if he does love you. You also can make him leave. Just treat him poorly.
Geez, ladies! She’s not saying you shouldn’t do any of those things, just not constantly. This isn’t about women-hating, because a couple of months ago, there was an article about things women hate that men do. It’s funny, there was no bashing then as it is for this article. Men and women have things they hate about eachother.
Kate’s comment seemed more sexist than the article(which didn’t seem sexist at all). No one expects a superwoman, or superman.
If this all so cliched, then why get so pissy when it’s mentioned?
Maybe some of the things mentioned are true.
UNDER drama it says “go ahead and cry, shop, take a walk, etc.” but then it says CRYING IS A “TURNOFF”. Nobody’s perfect and if you have to change yourself because a man can’t accept your flaws then forget him. All of us women are either a little emotional at times, a little needy, have some drama, don’t know sports, are immature at times, if GUYS CAN’T DEAL WITH IT THEN become GAY! LOL. Men have their turnoffs too! And I have to say on behalf of my female gender that most of mens turnoffs are more annoying than women’s! Oh I could make a huge list of man turnoffs!!
So, conversely, top 25 things that turn a man on?
Be happy all the time
Live somewhere else
Don’t remain on good terms with ex-boyfriends, be b***hy
Defer to man on all making of plans
Always know exactly what you want to do at all times
Don’t be too nice
Don’t have confidence in yourself
Don’t know what you want and ask for it
Read his mind
Don’t read articles that he wants you to read
The world revolves around his hobbies
Throw away your childhood teddy bear
Put everything else before yourself, ergo be a mother
Just let your zits be free
Hold your toungue
Don’t make reasonable requests
Don’t get mad
Don’t say anything wrong ever.
Don’t have standards
Don’t be too funny, it makes him look less cool
Be more loose
Don’t try to help him
Don’t get too drunk, even though that’s how he got you in the first place, its no longer cute
Realize he is perfect and you’re the one with the issues
Never skip a shower (but see previous rule about high maintenance)
Shoes I wear what I’ll be able to stand to be in longest not what’s the sexiest lol, sports that’s fine what ever…but if you say I know we had this plan but I want to watch this game so we’re not doing it or turn to a game in the middle of a movie our 3 year old is watching then we have an issue, I don’t make plans for him…but he does make plans to go spend a week up in Michigan with his family then says hey do you want to go visit my family after it’s all set in stone. Stuffed animals…most we have are our 3 year olds but I have a few that are mine (3 I actually made in home ec, a couple old school ones like my original care bear from the year I spent in childrens hospital). Hubby doesn’t mind me having them but I don’t display them..they’re put away. Heavy make up I don’t do…stage make up only happens when I’m in a theater production. 🙂 And mothering him I don’t do either but if he gets the sniffles I automatically have a 2nd 3 year old on my hands.
I agree with some of these a lot of these, but some of them are stupid. Being a little girl? If your toys aren’t in his room who cares? Its also funny because ‘trying to change him’ is in there, lol. Also crying? Sure no one wants to date a blubbering baby, but do you want to date a stonefaced, unfeeling person who never reacts humanly to life’s struggles? I hate to see my boyfriend cry but only because I wish I could help more.
Fellow ladies,
this is an article not a contract you are obligated to sign and follow. Chill out. This is supposed to be realistically funny, and to me it was. If you didn’t like the article then stop reading it and move on… If inclined to comment on it do it in a gown up manner, no need to diminish de author or the site…I’m pretty sure if I show this article to my boyfriend he’ll ask me to frame it and hang it in my bedroom, just so I won’t forget these valuable tips
This is pretty accurate. Ladies, if you are guilty of these things, you are a BAD GIRLFRIEND. Seriously, try to grow a little instead of going all butt hurt and defensive. These things seriously annoy us and drive us away. If you don’t want to become a better person, then don’t be surprised by how well things don’t work out for you. If you make us miserable, we will leave.
And it is very fitting that the first one is crying. Don’t cry. If you have to cry, go cry somewhere else. It makes us want to puke. It’s true no matter how much it makes you want to cry. Stop it.
Wow, Dave, you are a typical jerk. If men do not want to see women cry, then don’t do things that drive them to tears. Do not dish out what you cannot take. If you do not want a woman to nag at you about chores, then do them before your games or during commercial breaks. You’d be amazed at the things you can accomplish in 5 minutes. Not all women are clueless about sports.
The reason why many women are upset about these articles is because these are so cliched articles. I actuallly do not cry that often, but when I do, it is usually a death of someone close to me that took me by surprise or something serious. Since I am an introvert, I usually hide when I am angry or hurt. However, many people that I know, mainly men, always try to follow me around and make me feel worse. When I say to leave me alone, I MEAN IT. There are no hidden messages. I am a very simple person. I say what I mean and mean what I say.
Many of the things listed here are things that both men and women do and both men and women hate to see in others. Don’t want these things to happen to you? Don’t do it to them, and don’t put up with it, it they do these things to you.
It’s funny how a little common sense and a little bit of effort into a relationship can make such a huge difference in the big picture.
Nobody is perfect, sometimes we all do the things stated in this article. Sometime we all smell like crap, sometimes we all behave like little kids, etc, sometime we all have bad temper. We have to look at the big picture and understand that if the behavior is not the norm, then is better to spend energy on something more productive. Now, if that behavior is a pattern, then taking action to stop them from continuing is a most, you can dump the person if she or he does not get it. The article fail in not saying that perfection is not good to strive for and also the things stated in this article are bad when they are a habit, sometimes we all do them, dont we?
i think if a man doesnt like you crying its because he associates it with the wrong reasons,probably because the women he knows did it for the wrong reasons.I never cried in front of my husband for the first 5 years we were married,i still dont,but i can tell he wants me to.he wants me to lean on him,cry on his shoulder because it would make him feel manly and protective.and thats how it should be.My husband actually gets turned on if he catches me crying.I am learning how to let him in now,but im just saying that men can love to see you cry,if you dont abuse it.cry alone for a while,think through your feelings then discuss how you feel with him,he can learn to treasure your emotions.
Men have learned to have selected hearing. My wife wants me to view 10 blouses she has purchased. I really don’t care as this not at all important to me. Same as what kind of flowers are in the yard. Why can’ they understand. I play along but these items, I just do not care. Same as painting the house inside, do white, eggshell white, black red or whatever. I have never gone against her choice. I do get irritated when I am working in the garage, my only sanctuary, and she has to come out and discuss some items I have no interest in. I respect her wishes and I wish she would recepricate. I still love her but some things never change. thanks