Ladies, we might know how to turn a man on, but do we know what turns him off?
While there’s no doubt your feminine wiles are powerful man magnets, there are things you do – things we all do – that turn men off big time. I dare you to type “biggest male turn-offs” into your search engine, and you’ll see there’s no shortage of information on the subject. If you’re anything like me, you’ll soon realize you’ve been turning off men since you started trying to turn them on. Eh, whatevs.
Check out 25 of the biggest male turn-offs after the jump; let us know your thoughts in the comments below!
Crying
Shoot us while we’re down! According to YourTango, when a man smells a woman’s tears he becomes less attracted and sexually aroused by her. And here we thought it was the snot.
A study published in the journal Science found that when men smell women’s tears, they became less sexually aroused and were less attracted to the same women than when they smelled a saline solution that was dribbled on the women’s cheeks. Researchers think this may illustrate a biochemical cue women give off to non-verbally communicate, “Not tonight dear,” particularly when we’re PMS-ing or having our periods.
If you want to keep him hot and bothered, it might pay to curb weepiness.
Friendships with your exes
“He’s a great guy, it just didn’t work out,” you say. The whole “really great guy” thing is the problem.
Making plans for him
Never make plans for him without checking first, according to MSN Glo. (Note: Hacking into his calendar doesn’t count as checking either.)
Any man can relate to this moment: You’re on your way home from work, imagining the weekend ahead … the relaxation, the freedom. Then you arrive home, only to learn that you have plans. Here’s the deal: If you’re determined to make plans that include your husband or boyfriend, ask him first.
Indecisiveness
He doesn’t care what color you dye your hair or which shoe looks better, just pick one and be done already, he’s hungry.
Mothering him
He loves you mothering him until he hates it. A little TLC is fine, but leave the mothering to the woman impossible to replace.
Competitiveness
A little healthy competition is fun, sexy even. But you’re a sulky sultress every time you don’t win, you’re no fun to play with. Make love, not war.
Being high maintenance
You might be Daddy’s Little Girl but in a relationship you’re supposed to be a grown ass woman.
Telling his secrets
OK, there are “secrets” and then there are secrets. You know the difference, now shhh! MSN Glo suggests the loyalty and confidentiality we keep will encourage continued communication:
Sometimes opening up to you also means opening up to your sister, your mother or even your college roommate. Men value loyalty and confidentiality. Keeping the things we share between us — and only us — builds trust and will encourage even more communication.
Hating his sports or games
If sports are his religion, let him have them without distraction. If you really want to know the rules of the game, ask him to explain when there’s not a game on.
Being a little girl
A bedroom filled with Sanrio is not sexy. I repeat, not sexy.
Flakiness
Perpetual lateness and putting yourself before others is an unattractive quality. eHarmony.com went so far as to say flakiness gives off the impression that he’s a temporary fixture in your life.
Guys report that one of the biggest turnoffs when dating a woman is when she either can’t commit to plans or constantly flakes on plans. If you regularly pencil in your plans with a “maybe” and/or cancel plans at the last minute, you’re giving your guy the impression that he’s tentative in your life, aka “good enough for now.” Who wants to date someone who makes them feel temporary? Chances are you don’t, and you shouldn’t be the girl who makes her date feel that way either.
Wearing too much makeup
Unless you’re a high fashion model or a drag queen, he thinks less is more.
Acting like you know better
Stop judging his friends and family. He likes them, even if you don’t.
Nagging
What do you mean constant nagging isn’t a turn-on? We don’t understand.
But seriously, constantly asking or reminding a man to do something will come across as controlling and annoying. Instead of nagging, try to have an open and honest conversation about your needs and expectations. This will help you both understand each other’s perspective and find a compromise that works for both of you.
Drama
Sister, put down the frying pan. Take a walk, shop, eat, cry, or whatever you have to do to keep your special brand of crazy on the DL.
Talking too much during sex
Don’t ask him what he’s thinking (you don’t want to know), and don’t talk about the kids (he doesn’t want to know, at least not right then anyway).
While communication is important during sex, it’s important to also be aware of your partner’s needs and desires. If he seems to be less interested in conversation during sex, try to focus on other forms of communication like physical touch or eye contact.
Making jokes at his expense
A playful jab is probably OK when made in good spirit to the proper audience, but tread lightly. Make sure you’re both on the same page and that your jokes aren’t crossing any boundaries.
Being a boring bedfellow
He’s more than willing to put in the work, but he doesn’t want you to just lay there. At least pretend you want to be there — it’s important to keep things interesting and exciting in the bedroom. Experimenting with different positions, fantasies, or trying new things can help keep the spark alive.
Playing therapist
While it’s great to have someone to talk to about your problems, constantly venting and seeking advice from your partner can be draining for them. It’s important to recognize that your partner may not be equipped to handle the emotional burden of being your therapist.
This can be especially true if you’re constantly bringing up negative topics. It’s okay to share your feelings with your partner, but also make sure you’re giving them a chance to talk about their own life and feelings too.
Staking claim at his place
Unless you’re specifically invited to occupy a drawer, leave your scented candles at home. While it can be tempting to want to leave your mark on your partner’s living space, it’s important to remember that it’s still their space. Make sure you’re not overstepping boundaries and always ask before leaving anything behind. It’s important to respect your partner’s space and belongings.
Giving ultimatums
Strong-arm a man into marriage and he’ll strong-arm you into the land of resentment. Ultimatums can be a sign of insecurity and lack of trust in the relationship. Instead of forcing your partner into a decision, try to have an open and honest conversation about your needs and wants. Remember that a healthy relationship involves compromise and mutual respect.
Drinking like a minor
He came to party, not to babysit. Shy Magazine says once a lady gets sloppy, all bets are off.
Trying to change him
While it’s natural to want to help your partner grow and improve, it’s important to respect his individuality and autonomy. Constantly criticizing and trying to change him can erode his self-confidence and damage the relationship. Instead, try to focus on the things you love and appreciate about him.
Having bad hygiene
This is where both sexes meet on a united front. Take care of yourself, and not only when things start getting funky.
Reading articles like this
Oh, how he hates it when you read generalizations about him. Mostly because he knows they’re right.
