Bukowski's aphorisms


People who call other people buttholes generally are.


When you’ve considered everything, you’ve considered too much.


Human relationships do not work.


Brilliant men are created out of desperate circumstances; fools are also.


When you marry the woman you also marry her entire family.


Most men who sleep late in the morning are a superior breed.


Women are braver in situations they have to face alone; men tend to get braver in and before crowds.


I have never met a nonimmaculate cat.


The poets do the least to become known.


Fame is too often the result of bad public taste; Immortality too often a matter of poor critical judgment.


I’m often delighted when something terrible happens to me. It’s not so much a matter of masochism, it’s more a feeling of a balance come due; it has to happen, and since it does happen, one greets it with an oblique delight—feeling that after that better things are sure to follow???


Keep your sunny-side up. Nobody wants to hear about the night your mother kicked your ass in the deli takeout parlor . . .


All the women in my life have become the Reoccuring Woman: their complaints have been just as similar and just as realistic. So I judge them, in comparison, only upon the artistry of their head-jobs and their kitchen work, faithfulness and so forth. And when I line them up in this fashion I can’t come up with a winner. Just a loser: me.


Whenever one of my women goes to another man in preference to me, I am thoroughly astonished, especially when I meet him in person. But all things are illusionary, including those dull, drab sons of b***hes, so it’s all right, I suppose.


Dostoevski was precisely passionate, but when he ended up with Christ in his lap I wrote him off as going the long way around to find what most idiots accepted in the beginning. Not that I didn’t find his journey vibrant. For this, I almost forgave him his final Error. Tolstoy, who ended up the same way, was simply dull throughout. Which I can’t forgive.


Religion is not the Opium of the People. It’s a peanut-butter sandwich. On white bread.


A prostitute is a woman who takes more than she gives. A man who takes more than he gives is called a businessman.


When the agony of all the people is heard, nothing will be done.


I am only a realist in certain areas. For instance, it discourages me that people have upper and lower intestines. As I watch people, I am conscious of these (and other) parts. I’m hexed. For instance, when a man says to me, “She’s really a beautiful woman,” I feel like answering, “I won’t know until I examine the healthiness of her excreta.”


The best people are the ones you never meet.

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  1. 3 weeks ago

    >For instance, when a man says to me, “She’s really a beautiful woman,” I feel like answering, “I won’t know until I examine the healthiness of her excreta.”
    I agree

  2. 3 weeks ago

    >swear words + pessimism + sarcasm = insightful

    • 3 weeks ago

      no one asked where you came from

  3. 3 weeks ago

    agree about Tolstoy, he sucks

    • 3 weeks ago

      he's right about war and peace, but anna karenina was kino

      • 3 weeks ago

        I don't understand how you could like one but not the other.

  4. 3 weeks ago


  5. 3 weeks ago

    bro needs a smoke

  6. 3 weeks ago

    >So I judge them, in comparison, only upon the artistry of their head-jobs and their kitchen work, faithfulness and so forth
    kek based

  7. 3 weeks ago

    >Bukowski's aphorisms
    he would spit in your face for merely associating that word with his name

  8. 3 weeks ago

    1. True. Word seven is quite sufficient to deal with the exceptions.

    2. True. Some things should be considered. Some things should simply be experienced, or ignored.

    3. False. He should have said, ‘My relationships do not work.’

    4. Sometimes — sure. Always? Naa.

    5. True, I think, by and large. Nor can you avoid it by marrying an orphan waif from a war-zone. You’ll still be marrying her family, because a girl will turn into her family over time.

    6. Press D for doubt. Keats loved lying in. So did Chesterton. But most high-achievers are early risers.

    7. Interesting and quite plausible. Historically, a woman’s most courageous struggle was (is) childbirth, which was basically a solitary endeavour. A man’s was hunting the mammoth / fighting the enemy tribe, which was a group activity.

    8. I have, but I agree that most cats are much better at being cats than most people are at being people. The simpler the organism the nearer perfection. The average sparrow is a fine sparrow. The average bee is a great bee. Every single electron is perfect.

    9. Meh. Their obscurity is in the nature of the activity. When it comes to ‘great achievement going unrecognized’, mathematicans beat the shit out of everyone. Go into the street and see how many people have heard of Euler.

    10. First clause, sure. Second clause, not so much. Time is not just the best critic, it’s a pretty good one.

    11. Sure. But the issue is how general this feeling is. I think some people have it, others not. Compare Nietzsche’s comment in Zarathustra: ‘I love him who is ashamed when the dice fall in his favour’ (or something like that).

    12. True. Self-pity is deeply unattractive.

    13. I too have been surprised more than once in life by the similarity of women, but perhaps there’s a big selection bias in there.

    14. This might be a universal feeling; dunno. Women do often seem to admire not-very-admirable men.

    15. Since B. is talking about his personal reaction one can’t really say he’s wrong. The question is how generally true it is. ‘Somewhat’, at best.

    16. Organized religion is indeed generally pallid these days. But was it always?

    17. Meh. Bob Dylan always uses the word ‘businessman’ with the same pejorative tone. ‘Businessmen they drink my wine’. Not convinced.

    18. Sure.

    19. Many people have made the same observation. ‘Thus finishing his grand survey, / Disgusted Strephon stole away / Repeating in his amorous fits, / Oh! Celia, Celia, Celia shits!’ Swift and Bukowski have a lot in common. ‘The cynic is a disappointed idealist’ and all that. I suspect that many people who revel in the sordid are romantics at heart. They do it to protect themselves, because otherwise they would fall in love a hundred times a day, and die of a broken heart by tea-time.

    20. See above.

    • 3 weeks ago

      So he's mostly right. That's a pretty good result for what was basically a homeless alcoholic poet.

  9. 3 weeks ago

    My cigarettes. The lepers roll them.

  10. 3 weeks ago

    You probably shouldn't internalize the worldview and interpersonal opinions of extremely dysfunctional people.

  11. 3 weeks ago

    What work are these from?

    • 3 weeks ago

      More Notes of a Dirty Old Man

  12. 3 weeks ago

    >Filtered by Dosto and Tolstoy
    lmao worthless alcoholic piece of shit

  13. 3 weeks ago

    >The poets do the least to become known.
    Lol i like this one

  14. 3 weeks ago

    thanks for posting this op, it makes me feel better about all the trite and stupid shit that I wrote

    • 3 weeks ago

      Post it so we can compare them

      • 3 weeks ago


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