Did Jesus Christ ever need to lay excrement? The New Testament never specified this.

Did Jesus Christ ever need to lay excrement? The New Testament never specified this.

Beware Cat Shirt $21.68

Rise, Grind, Banana Find Shirt $21.68

Beware Cat Shirt $21.68

  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    jesus probably pissed and shat and farted and also cummed

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Yes. He took on an embarrassing flimsy body to show us that we needn't be embarrassed ourselves, so long as we make an effort as he did toward godly propriety.

      He didnt cummed because he wasnt impure. He probably did the other stuff though.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        He couldn't have been that flimsy. He was a carpenter after all. Also is poop and peepee pure?

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Pure means not lusty so yes.
          A lot of people make impure games out of poop and pee but that's on them.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >He didnt cummed because he wasnt impure.
        wet dreams/involuntary nighttime emission

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          That would require lusty and sinful thoughts. Christ was pure.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Yes. He took on an embarrassing flimsy body to show us that we needn't be embarrassed ourselves, so long as we make an effort as he did toward godly propriety.

            He didnt cummed because he wasnt impure. He probably did the other stuff though.

            >he didn't cummed because he wasn't impure
            That would imply that cumming and lust are not part of humanity, and that Jesus was not fully man.

            There's a whole chapter on Jesus being tempted. Tempted by riches, by physiological needs. If he wasn't human, he would have not been tempted at all, and each one of the devil's insinuations would have fallen into deaf ears. But he Was tempted, and he rejected the temptations through a perfect will. Thus it's plausible that lustful temptations came to him from time to time, and so is that he had boners and nighttime emissions. These are physiological processes that a fully man being can not deny.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >cumming and lust are not part of humanity
            No it wouldnt. Jesus resisted lust perfectly and so can you.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Jesus got a fat pulsing boner every night and you know it.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            The so called "perfection of christ" goes against the dogma of full humanity.

            Was Jesus a ghost or not? If he was a person, How could he possibly be a "perfect" person and still feel range, fear, and all the bullshit people feel? If Jesus the Man can experience those, why do people draw the line on lust?

            This is where the religious headcanon and larping come into play. Religion says "Jesus was a man" and then say things "Nu-uh, he wasn't any man, he was Superman", then their entire theology crumbles and you're left with a shitty story of a god coming to dick around and be useless. Is it impossible for God the Perfect to make imperfect things? If it's not impossible why does he do it and rant afterwards?

            For the theology to work in the real world the catholic church must abandon all the stupid larp and make the statement: The Old testament is not the word of God transcribed, it's a mythological interpretation of the israeli people's customs and origins. The Gospels are historical documents in which divine phenomena are manifested. The attributes of God stay. Jesus was an imperfect man embodied by God. The triumph of Jesus over sin is due to the holy nature of his being. The Resurrection is a manifestation of his godly nature. The Creed is held. Fully man, embodied by God, he is the Life and the Resurrection, he will resurrect all who believes in him for the final judgement and the establishment of the heavenly kingdom.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Yeah, there's really nothing relatable to a perfect man who is God in human form. The story of King David falling for lust, and then repenting with his heart and soul to God is a lot more relatable to men. The relatable part of the story of Jesus is his willingness to trust God, and be crucified instead of running away. Everyone can understand that, but it's more relatable if we know he was a man with his own temptations who did not choose the world but chose the kingdom of God instead.

            TL;DR He probably had wet dreams like the rest of us.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            You will regret typing that once you have passed on

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            You're a Catholic, and your pope says homosexuality is normal. I don't care about your Church insanity, personally.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            One of Christ's twelve apostles he picked himself has betrayed him. There is nothing new under the sun, there are sometimes Judas Iscariots in the church.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Yeah, there's really nothing relatable to a perfect man who is God in human form. The story of King David falling for lust, and then repenting with his heart and soul to God is a lot more relatable to men. The relatable part of the story of Jesus is his willingness to trust God, and be crucified instead of running away. Everyone can understand that, but it's more relatable if we know he was a man with his own temptations who did not choose the world but chose the kingdom of God instead.

            TL;DR He probably had wet dreams like the rest of us.

            "You cant be better than me because then i cant relate to you :'c"
            Sorry, what you're saying is a cop-out.
            You have the ability to be better. He was perfect and he still got crucified in order to show that you will not escaoe tribulation. Just get to work.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Docetism

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            An irrelevant word. The sooner you take responsibility for cooming the sooner you can heal.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            There is no law against having sexual thoughts btw, only adultery, which is sex with someone who is married or not your spouse, and fornication, which is illicit sex, like with your mother or the same sex. The Church changed the definition of fornication to include all sex including thoughts before marriage, but that is not the definition of fornication.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >shitting is ok
        >ejaculating is impure
        The absolute state of christkeks

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Shit isn't impure because its waste that's not apart of your body. Youre ejecting something from your body. Cum is apart of your body and your body produces it. Wasting it is impurity

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >Cum is apart of your body
            holy fricking christkek

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Cum isnt waste that you necessarily produce as part of some necessary process. The sooner you quit crying about it the sooner you can heal.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Semen has like a 2 day lifespan even in the testicles. If you're not breeding every other day you might as well jizz it out

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >you might as well do the worst possible thing with it
            No, thats a poor excuse. Keep your shit together.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >DID YOU JUST EJACULATE THAT'S THE WORST THING YOU COULD DO WITH IT EVERY SPERM IS PRECIOUS!!!!
            you are a moron

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Are wet dreams satan forcing you to sin then?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Its you failing to resist sin unconsciously. You work harder to become like jesus, who demonstrated it was possible.
            The sooner we all stop crying about it the sooner we can become alpha.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >The sooner we all stop crying about it the sooner we can become alpha.
            Alpha males get pussy. They don't waste time keeping their dick in a metaphorical cage in hopes that semen retention will make them more masculine.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            You do know your sperm doesn't just sit around waiting if you don't cum, right? They only live for a few days inside of you before being replaced. By this logic, spitting out saliva rather than swallowing it is a greater sin, because your body can reprocess a lot of what is in saliva so its less wasteful.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Spitting doesnt require an orgasm but it is rude. Quit looking for excuses to spit and cum everywhere.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            You are an incel.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Not an excuse for your lack of self control. Hate me, fine. But Christ set an example for you because he loves you. Theres no need to lie anymore. Everyone is aware that jizzing comes from a lack of self control.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Why does the orgasm matter as long as you aren't a coomer?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            If you think you need to have it, as badly as you need to urinate, you are acting as a coomer.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            It's been proven that orgasming at least once a week reduces the risk of prostate cancer, and sometimes being horny is an unwanted and unnecessary distraction.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Neither of those things are the reason you personally indulge yourself. You did it before and you would keep doing it even if it was killing you.
            Quit making excuses.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            I don't know man, you aren't providing a good reason not to every once and a while. The main objection to it is Oman, but that was very clearly because he was avoiding impregnating his dead brother's wife.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >orgasming is SINFUL!
            lmfao

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          A state of honesty. Impurity is a word we use to refer to sexual liscentiousness. Shitting isnt impure. Its a dirty but unavoidable product of the digestive process. Jesus had to eat and so he had to shit. He didnt have to coom because he understood sex better than you and was obedient to his higher impulse.
          You can be, too. But you first have to admit such things exist and are possible to achieve.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            needing to shit is also a lower impulse as is pissing or being sexually aroused
            why did your god give us a reproductive system as it is if it upsets him so much?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      > ... also cummed
      Don't know about you, but my eyes and dick frequently inform me of what they like.

      Seems like he was well practiced in disregarding this input.

      "Don't be your limbs, boy....."
      "Don't be a dick... that ain't you."

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      he also smoked herb

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        well of course he did, cannabis is one of the ingredients in the Holy Anointing Oil in the Old Testament after all

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Here’s an interesting question. How do we know the Bible as we know it is real? How can we be sure that some nefarious group of seething monks or some shit didn’t just change the real bible over the course several hundred years?

    Why stop there? How can we be sure that this same question doesn’t apply to all of ancient/medieval history?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >How can we be sure that some nefarious group of seething monks or some shit didn’t just change the real bible over the course several hundred years?
      Because that would be logistically impossible.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      The old testament is not real. That is a fact. The gospels are testimony to the real documented life of Christ. As any other testimony they have their differences in details, but the core of the narrative is explicit and undeniable.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >How can we be sure that some nefarious group of seething monks or some shit didn’t just change the real bible over the course several hundred years?
      That is exactly what happened, and we have variant manuscripts to prove it. Truth is, there is no "pure original Bible".

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      literally the only single thing you can be sure of is that you cant be sure of anything

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >DUDE WHAT IF JESUS WENT POO POO XD TAKE THAT CHRISTIANS!
    Why do you think people say 'holy shit'? Are you moronic by chance?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >t. Christian

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    He was human, so yes. Maybe not post-resurrection, but no way to say for sure.

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    His favourite saying is "Holy Shit!" (what does that tell you lol).

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      The Devil is No. 1

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    You meme, but these are literally the sort of shit questions (pun intended) Europeans killed each other for.

  7. 1 month ago
    daymonklotz666@ig

    that one time i shaved

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Thanks

      • 1 month ago
        daymonklotz666@ig

        thank a bub

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Did the people of that age engage in holy scatology? Much akin to collecting fingers and bones of holy men hoping they have healing powers, did they sniff Jesus's holy farts and collect his holy droppings in a similar way?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Dunno, but his penis is of particular interest to Christian scholars and several churches throughout history have claimed they have his foreskin in their posession
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holy_Prepuce

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        What's with semites and their obsession with foreskins? People accuse the elites of today of hoarding foreskins for nefarious purposes but the israelite God seems to demand foreskins from all his followers. Why does he get a free pass?

Comments are closed.