Do you grab a book from your bookshelf when you need to drop a deuce? I do.

Do you grab a book from your bookshelf when you need to drop a deuce? I do. Usually, I just grab something that is resonating with me at the time and channel my inner Constantine when I randomly open the book and select a portion of writing to read. It’s like an ironic scientific discovery while I defecate the poisons from my body.

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    reading for me is an almost sacred activity - a ritual, needing to be performed in a pure and controlled environment, free from contaminates which might sully its divinity. i would never read on the shitter

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I like to divinate between the ideal of sacred activity and broaching the subject of human depravity. Especially since I’m highly interested in deep, philosophical topics embalming the topics of transcendentals. Somehow you just never know what to expect at this core level of universal secrecy, so as to that you could only reach these sorts of makings while being a person that defecates.

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Shitting is my IQfy time.
    That's right, I'm shitting right now.
    It's called shitposting for a reason.

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    go kys you homosexuals
    troll this shit in /b/

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Im 40...too old to get a woman like this?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Are you a millionaire?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Depends on how much money and status you have, and even then not likely for long.

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Why does it take you so long to poo? You should be able to push it out in seconds

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I like to defecate and read with my CIA secret agent so I like to spend my time

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        So you blast out a poo and just sit there for 30 minutes?

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          :^)

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      oh, nta, but lately my unaddressed hemmeroids and alcoholism have me on the shitter for 30 minutes of nastiness. I do have a cream, but its a b***h to apply.

      https://i.imgur.com/H7CKjiS.jpeg

      Do you grab a book from your bookshelf when you need to drop a deuce? I do. Usually, I just grab something that is resonating with me at the time and channel my inner Constantine when I randomly open the book and select a portion of writing to read. It’s like an ironic scientific discovery while I defecate the poisons from my body.

      It's bad hygiene to bring books into the washroom anyway, even though we are on our phones.
      I may give your idea a try sometime.

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    i know a girl who looks like this. Total bookworm and cat-mom. Unfortunately , she seemingly exclusively reads romance and has tattoos.

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    She's reading that book with her eyes closed.... IS this some hot woman thing I'm not privileged enoguh to ever understand?

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    yall homies need some fricking fiber in your life if youre spending enough time shitting to sit and read

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    No. I don't even bring my phone. My shits are very quick most of the time. Spending a lot of time on the toilet is very unhealthy. On the rare occasion i do need more time it's too intense to bring any distractions. Also, when you shit and you smell shit, those are airborne shit particles. Congratulations, you are getting shit particles all over your book. For that reason i also usually shit naked and take a shower after.

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymouṡ

    THE GEOGRAPHY OF THE HOUSE

    Seated after breakfast
    In this white-tiled-cabin
    Arabs call *the House where
    Everybody goes*,
    Even melancholics
    Raise a cheer to Mrs.
    Nature for the primal
    Pleasures She bestows.

    Sex is but a dream to
    Seventy-and-over,
    But a joy proposed un-
    -til we start to shave:
    Mouth-delight depends on
    Virtue in the cook, but
    This She guarantees from
    Cradle unto grave.

    Lifted off the potty,
    Infants from their mothers
    Hear their first impartial
    Words of worldly praise:
    Hence, to start the morning
    With a satisfactory
    Dump is a good omen
    All our adult days.

    Revelation came to
    Luther in a privy
    (Crosswords have been solved there)
    Rodin was no fool
    When he cast his Thinker,
    Cogitating deeply,
    Crouched in the position
    Of a man at stool.

    All the Arts derive from
    This ur-act of making,
    Private to the artist:
    Makers’ lives are spent
    Striving in their chosen
    Medium to produce a
    De-narcissus-ized en
    -during excrement.

    Freud did not invent the
    Constipated miser:
    Banks have letter boxes
    Built in their façade
    Marked *For Night Deposits*,
    Stocks are firm or liquid,
    Currencies of nations
    Either soft or hard.

    Global Mother, keep our
    Bowels of compassion
    Open through our lifetime,
    Purge our minds as well:
    Grant us a kind ending,
    Not a second childhood,
    Petulant, weak-sphinctered,
    In a cheap hotel.

    Keep us in our station:
    When we get pound-noteish,
    When we seem about to
    Take up Higher Thought,
    Send us some deflating
    Image like the pained ex-
    -pression on a Major
    Prophet taken short.

    (Orthodoxy ought to
    Bless our modern plumbing:
    Swift and St. Augustine
    Lived in centuries
    Where a stench of sewage
    Ever in the nostrils
    Made a strong debating
    Point for Manichees.)

    Mind and Body run on
    Different timetables:
    Not until our morning
    Visit here can we
    Leave the dead concerns of
    Yesterday behind us,
    Face with all our courage
    What is now to be.

    — W. H. Auden

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
    IQfy has software features allowing you to express
    negative opinions about crappy posts and notify
    the mods to whack that drivel
    PEPE PATROL
    .
    .
    .
    tldr - whack this trolling shit

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