Femcels rising: A whole generation of plumpers that will never know love Trigger warning: reality check. If you go through life without regard for the desires of men, plan on going without love, too.

A neighbor's son – let's call him PumpkinHead – turned 21 yesterday, so my son and I stopped by to bring a present and our best wishes. It seemed like a good opportunity for him to meet some new women, and women were everywhere!

PumpkinHead and his older brother PotatoHead are popular guys in this town, and they seem to know everyone. Both good-looking, fun men to be around, with good jobs and a great family and all their shit together. So obviously, very popular with the ladies.

But looking around last night for potential prospects for my son, I noticed something striking. Every single one of the women at the party was fat.

Every. Single. One.

And I don't mean 5 pounds not quite a supermodel with washboard abs. I mean FAT. And not one of them seemed to give a shit. They were all decked out in fancy whore clothes, faces slathered with makeup, hair done up and pretty. Glorious muffin-tops and gunts everywhere.

It was just gross. I asked both PumpkinHead and PotatoHead if they noticed that all the women were fat. "Of course," they said, "but that's what's available."

One of the chubbies overheard the conversation, and in truth, I wasn't being all that subtle about it (I rarely am). You would think they would unsheathe their claws at hearing themselves described as fat. Nope. Just a shrug. They don't care.

"You're so young," I said to one of the girls, "Why do you do this to yourself?"

Her answer? "Because we can."


Let's unpack that, shall we? In that assertion are a number of truths about how young women feel about young men.

Related: Femcels rising: how to cope with lack of sex and intimacy

And I'll preface all of this by saying very FEW of the men were overweight. PumpkinHead and his brother are in precisely the sort of shape you would expect young, virile, battle ready men to be in: great! My son, who is a bit older than PumpkinHead is also in fantastic physical shape, and he works hard to keep himself fit and strong.

The very first thing fat girls feel is ENTITLED.

It's not that they don't understand that most men prefer slender women to overweight women – that would be impossible to miss in a culture saturated with images of thin women as objects of desire. It's just that they don't care. Desirable is not part of their self-definition.

What men desire is a subject of absolutely no interest to young women, who seem to have embraced the whole "grrl power" sensibility.

They know the school system is geared towards their success at the expense of boys. They know most university places are reserved for them. They know most bullshit paper shuffling government jobs will go to them, with benefits and pensions and no expectation of any actual work. They know they can pick and choose a male partner and ditch him whenever the mood strikes, while keeping his children and most of his cash.

Why SHOULD they give those nachos a pass? They have all the power, and it doesn't matter what the boys think or feel or want. The price for being fat is giving up access to Alpha Males like my son, but shrug – they don't really care about that, either.

The fat women at that party felt absolutely and completely entitled to the attention of men without having to make a single damn effort.

What these women don't seem to grasp is that when they give up beauty, they are in a very real sense giving up love.

The relationship between beauty and love has long been a subject for poets and philosophers alike, and most agree that love and beauty are flip sides of the same coin. What we love, we find beautiful, and what we find beautiful, we love. Without beauty, there is little chance for love.

If questioning would make us wise
No eyes would ever gaze in eyes;
If all our tale were told in speech
No mouths would wander each to each.
Were spirits free from mortal mesh
And love not bound in hearts of flesh
No aching breasts would yearn to meet
And find their ecstasy complete.

Christopher Brennan (1870 – 1932)

There is power in beauty and the fact that women no longer give a shit about beauty speaks volumes to the powers they have gained, and the ones they are throwing away.

Here's another true story: I recently took my littlest daughter on an overseas trip to visit a friend with a very ill child. I went to give the parents some respite, a chance to sleep and to catch their breaths and to take on all their household chores so they could concentrate on their little guy. The trip was a bit of a rush, and my husband took care of all of the bookings and details, and just handed me a folder of papers and some money and our passports.

We live in a small town with a small airport that only has four flights a day on the particular airline I was flying. In a rush to get out of the house, I barely listened to my husband reciting the details of my flights, and I heard "you're on the late flight back so I will pick you up at 11PM," and then I put the whole thing out of my head.

The trip was a smashing success, and me and my daughter had a fabulous time and we left our friends rested and organized and the little guy on the mend. During our trip, I never once looked at my boarding pass or any other details of our flights. I simply recalled that my husband would be picking us up at 11PM, which meant we were on the last flight of the day.

After a long international flight, we went to the regional flights terminal, where I noted that there was an earlier flight we had time to board. I tried to get our tickets changed to the second last flight of the day, but alas, it was sold out. So we sat down for a long wait for the last flight.

And, oops! We were actually booked for that second last flight. I never read my boarding pass. It was a complete and total fuck-up.

Here's where it gets interesting. I went to the customer service desk and stood in line behind another gentleman who had missed his flight due to an extensive security search of his bags. The customer service agent gave not one fuck and charged him several hundreds of dollars to rebook his flight. I was completely horrified that my stupid mistake was about to cost my husband hundreds of dollars when he had already spent so much money letting me go to my friend in the first place.

The customer service agent was a young man, probably not even 30, great shape, really good looking and apparently not very sympathetic, based on the previous guy who missed his flight.

I took a deep breath, put on some sparkly lip gloss, took off my jacket, adjusted my super comfy and also super hot yoga pants and told him my story. I did not read my boarding pass. I simply took my husband's word for when my flight was, missed my actual flight and now I needed to be rebooked on the next flight, which would not be until the morning.

He got the strangest look on his face when I told him all of the above. I was expecting some eye-rolling and sighing, but instead, he seemed almost amused and impressed? He called up the next day's flights and found two seats available.

And he booked me on them. And charged me nothing. Zip. Not a penny.

Then he gave me a voucher for the airport hotel and wrote that I had missed my flight due to airline events beyond my control, so that cost was covered, too. He even offered me a travel bag with toothpaste, slippers, shampoo, etc, but I had all that in my carry-on bag so I was able to decline graciously. He put up his Back Soon sign and physically walked me over to the shuttle bus to the hotel.

And I'm not even that beautiful! But in a sea of women who roll around with thongs stuck up arses way too big for stretch pants, with attitudes to match, even a little bit of beauty goes a long way.

Thank god I got a young male CSR. Had I found myself standing in front of the haggard middle aged broad who was also manning the desk, my mistake would have cost well over $500.

Daily Mail: Meet the 'involuntarily celibate' women who say they're 'rejected by ALL men' because of their looks or personality

But it didn't. It cost me nothing but time and a little chagrin (how could I be so stupid?).

Because I pass on the nachos. And I care about being desirable. And I don't automatically feel entitled to male attention or help. And because of that, men help me. They take care of me, protect me, assist me and just generally make my life very pleasant and enjoyable.

There is value in beauty, and more than just the cost of a re-booked plane ticket or hotel room. Beauty is a physical way of showing that you value and care about men and what they want.

Being fat just because you can be is a slap in the face to men, and if you plan on going through life a walking testament to how little you regard the needs and desires of men, plan on going through it without love, too.

Cold winds can never freeze, nor thunder sour
The cup of cheer that Beauty draws for me
Out of those Azure heavens and this green earth —
I drink and drink, and thirst the more I see.

As long as I love Beauty I am young,
Am young or old as I love more or less;
When Beauty is not heeded or seems stale,
My life's a cheat, let Death end my distress.

William Henry Davies (1871 – 1940)

And for fuck's sake! Don't eat nachos! They will make you fat.

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15 thoughts on “<span class="entry-title-primary">Femcels rising: A whole generation of plumpers that will never know love</span> <span class="entry-subtitle">Trigger warning: reality check. If you go through life without regard for the desires of men, plan on going without love, too.</span>”

  1. >Femcels
    Incel isn't a gendered term.
    However the applicable term for most women is
    They are emotionally celibate. They can't get a man to commit, to have loving feelings, to actually want them for more than sex. The term captures the true tragedy that Femcel doesn't capture.
    These women get bonked. They jist get bonked by men who don't love them and who won't commit TO THEM.

  2. It is fact that on average, slender and more attractive women make more money - especially in the service sector where there is tipping. Call me shallow if you want, but I freely admit that I usually tip slender and/or attractive women 30-50% more than those that seem to make little or no effort to take care of themselves properly and present themselves in the best manner possible. To me it is just another example of that person putting more effort into everything in their lives and I like to reward that extra effort.

  3. Hmm. I reckon I have alpha male repellent then. I am not exactly thin despite walking all over creation all the time. There are quite a few dudes who like women with meat shaking on their bones. There's probably whole sites dedicated to this. Some of them might take it a bit to the extreme.

    But my main aim in life is NOT to attract some random man when there's other things I would like to do such as write novels, change the world and also collect more live ginormous spiders. I'm not just here to care about the needs and wants of random dudes. Men just are not the sun my planet revolves around. Or women for that matter.

    Especially controlling ones. Blech. Had enough of that growing up as a kid, thank you.

    • You done with your strawman yet? No one said you were " just here to care about the needs and wants of random dudes.". Get yourself some reading comprehension and read the article again.

  4. People are fat because they have bought into the lies of conventional wisdom and eat according to the USDA food pyramid, which (surprise!) is not problematic af on science. Also most of the overweight girls are probably chronically dieting, which creates a great deal of stress on the body. Then, the thyroid slows down, which causes the dieter to regain all the weight that they lost and more. Chronic dieters need to eat MORE, not less, and they need to make sure that the food that they eat is whole and nutrient dense. That means: skip the salad, which is full of anti-nutrients, and eat dense foods like cheese, fish, eggs, sausage, organ meats.

    Whining on a blog about how people have no discipline to exercise and control their caloric intake completely misses the point about rising obesity and only contributes to the problem of eating and exercise disorders. Of course overweight girls know that they need to lose weight and of course they want to! The girls you talked to probably shrugged and ignored you because you were being a nosy poopyhole. You essentially asked them: "Hey, why are you so ugly? Don't you know that no one will ever love you if you don't have a BMI under 25?" Lots of girls are very sensitive to comments about their physical attractiveness, why would they engage with you on that? "Oh yeah JB, I'm fat because I know that I can steal a man's spot at a university and major in a useless field like business and film studies so I don't have to put any effort in my life. Also, feminism. "

    Yeah, right.

    • Thanks Leibniz… I mostly agree with your comment (the last paragraph in particular). But to be fair, I think some overweight people do know how to eat healthy and exercise, but they don't always do it. I am guilty of that myself. I don't need a food pyramid or other guideline from the government to tell me pizza and ice cream are not healthy parts of my diet.

      While I definitely think that obesity is dangerous to one's health and should NOT be condoned, I cannot believe a human being would say this: "when they give up beauty, they are in a very real sense giving up love." Are you kidding me?! So the moral of the story is what? Be above-average-looking, act dumb, put on lip gloss and flirt… that's how you'll get the best of life. Sure, who cares about self-respect anyway.

      The real problem with women today is the women who are putting each other down instead of trying to boost one another up. Beauty!? Let's encourage one another to be healthy and successful, not just focus on so-called beauty as a way to get what we want.

      By the way, most fat girls don't feel "entitled" as you say. That attitude is often a self-defense mechanism because they are sick of skinny bitches putting them down.

      And to ‘The Spideron' – so you think your precious eyes should not have to see fat people? I suppose you feel the same way about deformed people or just those you deem ugly?

      If a person is fat, it's his/her own problem, what do you care? (And don't pretent you don't care, because you wouldn't feel the need to write about it if you really didn't care.) Personally, I think fat-hate comes from people who are afraid of becoming fat themselves.

      • "So the moral of the story is what? Be above-average-looking, act dumb, put on lip gloss and flirt… that's how you'll get the best of life. Sure, who cares about self-respect anyway."

        Since you clearly lack reading comprehension I'll make it easy for you- if you think not being morbidly obese means being 'above-average-looking' then you lack basic thought processes.
        And yes most fat girls clearly feel entitled. Just look at fat girls' dating profiles and how many make demands of what they want their ideal man to look like regardless of how SHE looks.

        "The real problem with women today is the women who are putting each other down instead of trying to boost one another up."
        -In what medium are you NOT being constantly pandered to and patted on the head no matter how minuscule or childishly basic your "accomplishment" is? What you found a blog piece in the 1% of media, on ANY platform, that isn't stroking your ego and you feel the need to bitch about it? You clearly feel a need to be constantly propped up on your ego or you wouldn't have made such a stink about it here. See how that works?
        BTW I notice you in no way argued against the point JB made about women having absolutely NO regard to how men think or feel, yet you probably still think you're supposed to be satisfied. And most of the "fat hate" comes from people who are sick and tired of your laziness being considered "healthy and beautiful". It's not healthy to be morbidly obese. Doesn't matter how many excuses you make for yourself, science doesn't give a rat's ass about your feelz and ego.

    • Whining in the comments section of a blog in order to do your little mental gymnastics so you can avoid admitting to your own laziness is just sad. Your comment completely misses the point JB made about narcissism and how young women are being raised to view young men and relationships in general. Try not whacking a list of straw man arguments no one made and go for a walk.

  5. I have seen firsthand this attitude that young women have. They describe themselves as sexy, with curves and believe that guys see them as "irresistible". I wish I could say I'm sorry, but I'm not – I like women with curves (stick thin women do nothing for me) but these women don't have curves, they have rolls. That is not sexy.

  6. Excellent article! I don't see being overweight (BMI 25-29.9) as a massive problem, but when people are in the BMI 30 or above category, there is clearly a problem which cannot possibly be put down to genetics. I wonder what the ratio is for weight by mirror ownership. Do fat people ever look at their own reflections? Do they not realise that they endanger their own health and that regular people have to look at their bloated forms whenever they walk down the street? It is tremendously inconsiderate of them. Society needs to give political correctness the bum's rush and make obesity shameful once again, because it seems to me that the obese are too weak and selfish to improve themselves without coercion.

    • Fat shaming has been proven to be ineffective, if we are to help people become healthier the answer lies in education. Of course there are some people who are just lazy but there are SO many factors that result in obesity. In psychology degrees, obsessive eating and binge eating is taught as an eating disorder just as anorexia is. These people need to be seen sympathetically as they need to be guided and helped as obesity is the can be the result of mental illness or financial situation. It's TRUE some people don't care like in this article, but those people need to be taught that it's in their best interest to lose fat for their health. Fat shaming was around for years ( I would argue it never really went away) and if it was effective then it would have worked but it clearly didn't. Fat shaming makes things worse.

      • Sorry you nobody (as in You do not make the decision for the majority of humans nor do you qualify as having known the majority of humanity's hows and whys), but fat shaming has been shown to work as well. Plenty of people have felt ashamed of their fatness and have lost the weight. Personal fat shaming has been truly effective. While there can be other factors for someone's obesity, by far and away the number one factor is laziness. That's what drive-thrus, sending you kid in to drop letter off at the PO, online ordering of toiletries and so on is for.

  7. I know why I'm a bit overweight, I eat too much. But honestly, I don't care to do anything about it. I don't really have a killer figure when I'm slim so I might as well enjoy food. I have never really had any curves, I have always been rather square with somewhat slender legs. And if I die at 45, my kids will be grown up, my Husband can meet someone else and I can die happy with my face in the biscuit tin.

    • "and I can die happy with my face in the biscuit tin"
      -Shit yeah! That's just basic honesty. Personally for me if I went that way it'd be face first into the extra cheese, extra pepperoni pizza pie, but I feel ya.

  8. Love this one. So true. People are now trying to justify that fatness is good, because it is better to be too fat than too skinny. The freaking scrotebrains of the world always argue in extremes. You are either a communist or a capitalist. You are either pro-choice or pro-life. You are either too skinny or too fat. A 180lbs woman is not real beauty in the same way that a 80lbs one is not either. Get healthy. Get off your ass and do something. Stop eating shit all day long. It is not that freaking hard. People always complain how easy it is to lose weight. Stop eating crab and get moving.

    In an interesting tie in. I was watching a documentary called "Prom Night In Mississippi." Detailed a story about how this community still has a prom for blacks and a prom for whites. Interesting story on its own. But everyone in the move, save a few people, were unbelievably fat. This gorgeous, in shape blond girl was dating this fat loser, because she had no choice.

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