8 high school sex lessons I learned from Judy Blume

If you're a girl and spent any time in the library as a kid, you inevitably read some Judy Blume. (Hopefully along with The Babysitter's Club and Goosebumps.) And perhaps, like me, you actually felt guilty reading some passages, or found yourself blushing madly even though nobody was around.

Let's face it: Judy Blume explained a lot of stuff our parents didn't. (Or did, but the conversation was so awkward you've never looked at your dad the same again.) Here are just a few sex lessons that got us through those awkward junior-high days straight from the books of Ms. Blume:

"You're a romantic. I'm a realist. We look at sex differently ... I see it as a physical thing, and you see it as a way of expressing love." -- Forever

From that point on, I learned there were two lovemaking camps: bad girls (like Erica) and good girls (like Kathy). I landed somewhere in the middle; I loved to bang, but fell in love with every douchebag that took me up on the offer.

"'Oh ... oh', Michael cried, but I didn't come. I wasn't even close. 'I'm sorry,' he said. 'I couldn't hold off.'" -- Forever

Pro: Saved me years of disappointment from my boyfriend's inability to last long enough to get me off. Con: I've faked most of my orgasms since.

"'I guess we should ride around for awhile. We can circle the field, that way he might notice me.' They rode around three times but if Georgia Blue Eyes noticed Andrea he kept it to himself." -- Starring Sally J. Freedman As Herself

Hovering around the object of your affection and staring without saying anything has a name. It's called stalking and it will only creep him out.

"The StairMaster's truck was parked in front of her house. 'It's been there for an hour at least,' she whispered. 'And don't tell me they're just talking.'" -- Here's to You, Rachel Robinson

When your dad won't stop coming down to the basement to bring you more cookies ensure your bra's still on, the next place to get your dirty on? Your boyfriend's car. And by car, we mean his mom's minivan he borrowed for the night.

"They took turns pretending to be Von, lying on top of one another, rubbing the Power against the other's Power until the electrical current buzzed through their bodies." -- Summer Sisters

Mmmmmm, masturbation! (I didn't do the whole girl-on-girl thing, but WHOA, what a discovery.)

"I sat next to Moose. He smelled very nice. I got to touch his hand a couple times because he was a lefty and I was a righty so now and then, we'd bump." -- Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret

Sometimes it's not the crazy, passionate dry-humping but the quick glances and hand-holding underneath the kitchen table that gets us most in the mood.

"I wanted to dance with Buddy. I wanted to in the worst way but all I could think of was my brace and I hated it more than ever." -- Deenie

Braces, glasses, zits, etc. You're waaaay more worried about it than he is. Promise.

"No matter how many guys come and go, we'll always be together." -- Summer Sisters

And the best lesson of all ladies, no matter what goes down with the opposite sex, it's your girls that will cyberstalk him with you.

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  1. 14 years ago
    Donald JW

    Right now .. the first sex education kids get is not the soft romantic introduction in the good old novels .. its the XXX hard core that is all over the web today .. we should all try to change this ..

  2. 14 years ago
    maria

    WoW! forever my girlfriends and I passedit around in 8th grade i think we had one copy it was so ragged by the end of the year. I cant belive my daughter has never read it. and what a DISAPPOINTMENT when the movie finally came out. Its still one of the books I'll always remember...To Kill a Mockingbird is a classic only to those who never read judy blume!

  3. 14 years ago
    Semi-Pelagius

    It could really depress me if I took all these comments seriously. Too much ignorance IS harmful, but too much knowledge of facts combined with too little knowledge of values---give me a break! Far too harmful. Several years ago I read that Judy Blume's daughter once asked her something like: "What about a story where a boy and girl do it and nothing bad happens?" So Ms. Blume foolishly wrote one. Whatever religion she may have professed, she SHOULD have told the truth to the girl: "Dear lovable daughter, something bad ALWAYS happens when a couple jump the gun." Not always pregnancy or STD (thank God) but cheapening and degrading and making tawdry what is supposed to be a vital, loving, binding experience between husband & wife that sometimes produces a baby. My spouse & I stayed out of trouble, not even coming close to illicit sex. We were both 25 by a few weeks after our marriage. We have 4 children and several grandchildren. We have seen the painful damage that has been done to people. But to people who have already erred--your life and relationships CAN be repaired, but it will require some help. When ANYTHING goes wrong in your life, sex or anything else, I urge you to ask God for help and for forgiveness. Some changes in your attitudes and behavior will be required, but the result is well worth the cost. I have been rescued many times. God bless and good-night.

    • 14 years ago
      Jason

      Jesus saved my sex life too.......ha, get real man. Not trying to be mean or ignorant here really, but, yeah. Life is life. Experience what you can. Learn lessons, try not to be an butthole. Live and let live. What's good for one person is not good for everyone. I recommend a sociology course. Faith is a great thing, don't get me wrong. But responsibility is often times overlooked as a result of that. But hey, what do I know......enjoi the day.

    • 14 years ago
      hazakeyn

      Semi-Pelagius presents the kind of viewpoint of the indoctrinated, sincere but mindelssly obedient person who has been told "facts" which are not true, and then "respects" the fictitious notions with which she has been brainwashed. That there is a god only in the minds of people who choose to fantasize such a power is not terribly important. More vital is the fact that people are social creatures, and their social behaviors are very real, whether or not sincere but misguided religious types decry such behavior. It's fascinating to hear of the many ministers who rail against sex and sin, then get caught having done lots of both. And it's sad to meet people who have been so indocrtinated to think of sex as evil that they cannot enjoy it even when they are finally freed to within the socially approved marital constraints.

      There is excellent reason that Judy Blume has been so popular. She teaches about the realities of our very real world in a perspective that kids can understand and relate to, can learn from and grow through. Reality can be messy. But growing up ignorant of reality is not the solution to the mess.

  4. 14 years ago
    f0xldy

    Our daughter read Judy Blume's books and after she went to bed one evening I decided to see what interested her so. This particular book made me upset. One part I'll never forget was of a jr. high (?) school group of girls taunting and harassing a fellow girl student just because she was fat...and even assaullting her in their gym class locker room...a type of rape scene actually! I was furious. This was not the kind of behavior I was trying to teach my daughter. I felt compelled to write Judy Bloom a letter that very night and told her how, as a Mom, I felt these types of books were not appropriate. I was amazed when I actually got a response letter back from her. She said she wrote things that happen in "real life" and she would continue to do so. I was glad she took the time to write back...but Ive never been a fan since.

  5. 14 years ago
    E. G.

    I'm a 26 year old woman and remember reading Dear God, It's Me, Margaret in 4th grade and loving it! I got to learn all about the "changes" that girls go through and felt like it really related to me! The book took me through all of the information that my stepmom was too embarrassed to talk to me about! I fully plan on having my girls read this book while they are growing up and using it as a tool to help have those "talks". I loved that it was a relatable story, rather than an over-cheesy or medical book.

    Please parents, do not be naive in thinking that your young girls will not learn this stuff. I'd much rather have them read it in a Judy Blume book than hear it (and they will) incorrectly from a friend. As much as you'd like to think they'll ask you if they have questions, what 10 year old girl really wants to talk to her mom about things like that?! Again, this is my opinion, and we are each entitled to one!

  6. 14 years ago
    Alex Firestone

    I wholly agree with you (and I'm a pornographer). Used to be a person needed to either pay or have a great degree of technical savvy to access explicit porn on the web. Now there are free, point-and-click "tube" sites (mostly based in Europe) that stream huge libraries of hardcore pornography, sustained by advertising. This makes any kid with access to an internet device able to see adult material (and share it with their friends). I'm a father and outraged by this. Adult things like guns, alcohol and pornography don't belong within a child's reach.

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