How do I get weed out of my system fast?

I have to take a drug test

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  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Sauna

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Sweat and lots of water.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Thanks

      Why do you deserve to pass a drug test if you smoke weed?

      I hope you fail. Drink lots and lots of water. THC is an oil that will help it bind to the test better. Lots of water. Do NOT drink a little detergent it will make you pass.

      I don’t smoke it, I eat edibles. I use it for sleep. Why do you Reddit space? I hope you stop Reddit spacing one day, thank you for the advice besides that. Detergent? That will kill me 🙂

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Reddit has automatic spacing you're just mid.

        Detergent is bad for you? Goshhhh. I'm glad your parents don't wash their dishes I want your idiocy to die fast. Don't take drugs if you can't handle the tests.

        As for poor sleep your problem is being a sneaker liar with a dopamine fetish, that hurts anyone's sleep.

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why do you deserve to pass a drug test if you smoke weed?

    I hope you fail. Drink lots and lots of water. THC is an oil that will help it bind to the test better. Lots of water. Do NOT drink a little detergent it will make you pass.

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Drink lots of water or buy a fake pee kit

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      What kind of fake pee?

      Personally, I never figured out the timer to get weed out of your system.

      When I had probation, I just waited the full flat 6+ months to be safe.

      Some say it's out of your system in 24 hours. 1 week. 1 month. 6 months. It's in your hair forever.

      Because it's illegal, they never got the accurate data. And the only Public data is crack cocaine level shit - MARIJUANA IS AS BAD AS HEROINE! YOU'LL WANNA SELL YOUR HOUSE FOR A JOINT.

      Yes. That's what I saw stoners do. Sell their houses and shit themselves. Someone's a crock of shit.

      I’m not on a probation. It’s for a job test and it’s pee

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        before the test load up on water and electrolytes. like 5-8 liters. toss in a couple vitiman c and b so it looks right. pissin nothin but water.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Nothing you can do, bud.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Convient stores or head shops sell them. Its a bag with fake urine you strap around your waist with a tube thats going to act as a penis. Maybe 30 - 40 dollars.

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Personally, I never figured out the timer to get weed out of your system.

    When I had probation, I just waited the full flat 6+ months to be safe.

    Some say it's out of your system in 24 hours. 1 week. 1 month. 6 months. It's in your hair forever.

    Because it's illegal, they never got the accurate data. And the only Public data is crack cocaine level shit - MARIJUANA IS AS BAD AS HEROINE! YOU'LL WANNA SELL YOUR HOUSE FOR A JOINT.

    Yes. That's what I saw stoners do. Sell their houses and shit themselves. Someone's a crock of shit.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Stored in fat. Losing fat will remove it. But while you're losing fat you'll test positive. You should actually want elevated bood sugar and insulin to prevent anything from being detectable in your urine on the day of the test.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        not a viable option for anyone panicking they need to piss.

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Drink a bottle of vodka and lemon juice.

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    sorry cant be done. you're doomed

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      this, the only way is fake piss. even if you drink those detox things you have to wait at least 2 week’s minimum for it to work

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    it binds to fat. how fat are you?
    just vape up some gas station cbd delta 8-10 carts. it's legal. "false positive"

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    fasting and sweating
    better hop to it

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Sweat and lots of water.

      Try sweating it out and pray they don't give you a hair follicle test

      They won’t

      before the test load up on water and electrolytes. like 5-8 liters. toss in a couple vitiman c and b so it looks right. pissin nothin but water.

      https://i.imgur.com/PBCFBDt.jpg

      This product has never failed me, even when I had less than 24 hours notice. Follow the instructions and do not deviate. You'll want to be pissing into the cup between 3-4 hours after you drink this. Costs $40 at Vitamin Shoppe.

      throw lemon juice in the piss

      Thank you guys. I’ll write down all of this

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Try sweating it out and pray they don't give you a hair follicle test

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    If you have to ask it here you don't deserve to be helped.
    Suffer.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Sauna
      >Do CBD instead
      >Drink lots of water
      >Fake pee
      >Sweat
      > Vodka and lemon juice
      I can’t suffer I’m not longer ignorant

      Reddit has automatic spacing you're just mid.

      Detergent is bad for you? Goshhhh. I'm glad your parents don't wash their dishes I want your idiocy to die fast. Don't take drugs if you can't handle the tests.

      As for poor sleep your problem is being a sneaker liar with a dopamine fetish, that hurts anyone's sleep.

      Uhh okay? What the frick lol

      it binds to fat. how fat are you?
      just vape up some gas station cbd delta 8-10 carts. it's legal. "false positive"

      I’m 6 foot around 195-200 pounds.

      it binds to fat. how fat are you?
      just vape up some gas station cbd delta 8-10 carts. it's legal. "false positive"

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    This product has never failed me, even when I had less than 24 hours notice. Follow the instructions and do not deviate. You'll want to be pissing into the cup between 3-4 hours after you drink this. Costs $40 at Vitamin Shoppe.

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Get QuickFix if it's a non DOT job. It usually comes with a handwarmer and temp sticker. Just put it in you sock or wear tight briefs.

    Oh! And stop smoking weed, Black person.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      OMG WAHH REDDIT INVENTED SPACED PARAGRAPHS WAHHH U R REDDIT

      (am I doing it right?)

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    throw lemon juice in the piss

  14. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    So?
    Just study for it.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      That’s what I’m doing right now. I’m learning

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Good, i think you should do practical studies too. Try them all.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I’ll actually comeback once I do the test, make a thread, and give my results of what worked

  15. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You're probably just plain fricked. Take niacin supplements, drink a shit ton of water, or just buy fake pee. Most head shops sell it, I couldn't tell you which brand of pee is best though. Or, pay somebody for their real pee. You have to make sure it's body temp though or else you'll fail for sure. But you're most likely just screwed.

  16. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    CERTO and then take some creatine.

    CERTO will coat your stomach and make the water you drink pass thru without absorbing tch...the creatine will make you pass since they test for a small level of creatine in the urine to make sure it isn't just water.

  17. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Get ready to do lots of sweating, and pissing a ton for a week or two straight if you want to clear your piss to be undetectable. If they're taking blood you'll need a month, and if they take hair you'll need to shave right down to the skin several times (body hair too)

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      CERTO and then take some creatine.

      CERTO will coat your stomach and make the water you drink pass thru without absorbing tch...the creatine will make you pass since they test for a small level of creatine in the urine to make sure it isn't just water.

      Convient stores or head shops sell them. Its a bag with fake urine you strap around your waist with a tube thats going to act as a penis. Maybe 30 - 40 dollars.

      Thank you all

  18. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I have experience with this. Marijuana is fat soluble. Which means it can stay in your system around 30 days. Thats the max. The reality ( from experience ) is that it takes around 2 weeks.

    How to speed it up? Run every day and drink lots of water. Buy an over the counter drug test ( walgreens, rite aid, walmart maybe ). I was able to get a clear test after 1 week. I ran about 30-45 minutes per day and rank lots of water.

    >i want to be clean in 2 days
    You're fricked.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I have 16 days. You think I can beat the 30 days in 2 weeks?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        You can easily make that. If you are a complete fat ass it could take longer than that. The fatter you are the longer it stays in your system because there is more fat for it to store in and your metabolism is low. If this is the case and even if not the case I recommend cardio 30-45 minutes per day with like 2 liters of water per day. This will work for anyone i think.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I’m 6 foot and about 195 - 200 pounds. I run everyday, but I’m worried because I’m more on the fat side rather than muscle. Guess I’ll just workout a bunch

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            You probably will naturally be clean after 2 weeks at 195 6 ft. The 30 days isn't set in stone they pick that number as a maximum. naturally without any exercise I would bet you would pass after 16 days. But if you exercise its pretty much guaranteed.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >I have 16 days
        Eat marmelade. It extracts the weed from your fat.

  19. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I just remembered, a long haul trucker once told me that you can pack powdered bleach into your thumb cuticle and piss over your thumb into the cup. He swore by it, but it sounded like bullshit to me.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This gives an inconclusive test result. Which will give OP more time a day or two max though.

      https://i.imgur.com/6yNOYHF.jpg

      I have to take a drug test

      Why do you need the test?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It’s for a new job.

  20. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    there's products you can buy at 'head shops' that you drink x amount of hours prior to the test, they're pretty reliable. good luck but just quit smoking weed anon. I promise it's not helping anything in your life.

  21. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    6 niacin pills. Ass on fire.

  22. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    my mom used to use my pee. do you have kids

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      What a class act

  23. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    cranberry juice

  24. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Since you’re all giving genuine advice I’ll make a thread once I do the test and give an update

  25. 3 weeks ago
    Annoymous

    If you use it every day, it could be in you system for months. I hope for your sake you are dealing with some shitty job and not probation or someshit.

  26. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Use the White Mans super power of foresight and dont smoke weed before a drug test.

  27. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You need to piss, YOU NEED TO EXCRETE
    A GOOD PISS IS WHAT I ALWAYS SAY,
    i don't. The best you can do is take diuretics. Drink up OP.

  28. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Take a small soft cosmetic bottle with a screw cap lid. (I used an empty small aloe Vera sun burn relief cream 3-4 ounces)

    Fill with clean pee, from the dog or your gf whatever. Then tape the bottle to your inner thigh under the penis.

    Empty bottle into sample cup. And you win bro

  29. 3 weeks ago
    Buster Moon

    Substitute. Get piss from a friend or family member, keep it close to your body and wrapped in hand warmers to keep it between 91-100 degrees. It's the only 100% way and easier than diluting by gulping down water. If need be, but fake piss.

    I've got about a hundred under my belt this way.

  30. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You're gonna have to steal piss

  31. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Too bad.
    So sad.
    You fail.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Nah I’d win

  32. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I haven't read all the replies, but there's a sauna + niacin protocol that scientologists use that works. My brother used to do it nightly for a year to pass piss tests when he was on probation. I don't recommend doing that, as that much niacin will cause internal damage.
    but doing the niacin+sauna a couple times or for a week to piss clean? it works

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