Driverless cars are here! They drive (and crash) among us and we are so so happy now in the future. But what’s all this new technology going to do for my sex life, you might be asking yourself? Experts are saying now that we won’t have to drive anymore, we can just bone wherever we go!
Here now, is a handy guide to having sex in a driverless car:
Don’t be old!
Yes, future shock is real and kills countless grannies every day who are not ready for the approaching singularity. If you’re not ready for robots to drive your car then DO NOT try to have sex while riding in them.
Tint your driverless car windows
This is important. Yes, it’s true, American police tend to be provincial in their ideas about public sex. Unless you want to end up behind bars, darken those windows.
Pick out good music
You want to set the mood. Ask your driverless car to pick out the perfect mating music for your steamy driverless car sex session. At this point your car should know your every whim and desire same as your lover should.
Don’t pick a curvy road to have driverless car sex on
A curvy partner is one thing, but when it comes to roads, keep it smooth. This could get dangerous unless you’re a professional acrobat.
Get an SUV if you decide to have a threesome
Group sex is great but not if you’re cramped inside a hatchback. Enough said.
Wear your seatbelt!!
We can’t stress this enough. Your driverless car might be perfect but accidents do happen.
Be safe out there, folks.