How to play corporate office politics in tech companies?

How to play corporate office politics in tech companies?

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  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    it's a secret

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    https://github.com/Droogans/unmaintainable-code

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Use acronyms to keep the code terse. Real men never define acronyms; they understand them genetically.
      my people...

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    just smile and be surprise at everything and dont frick co workers

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      > 🙂 oh wow. Good day, friends!. 🙂 oh wow. See you tomorrow friends! Oh wow! 🙂 Woww!
      kek and solid

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    If your company is as well managed as mine, don't get involved, don't play buddy buddy with anyone, pretend you're an actual autistic person. Middle management are sharks that look for anyone that sticks their head out to blame their problems on.
    Keep to yourself and get left alone is the name of the game.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >pretend you're an actual autistic person
      >pretend
      heh i dont have to do that

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Middle management are sharks that look for anyone that sticks their head out to blame their problems on.
      This is the case in every org. The solution is to make friend with your boss's boss and make the middle manager look incompetent. He will come to you to solve problems and not the manager. This is easy to do because middle managers are almost always moronic, if they weren't they probably wouldn't be in middle management and jump to director or higher early in their career. This of course only works if you are less moronic then your middle manager.

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Do you want to learn how to win them, or learn how to avoid them?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      how to win them

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Your goal is to resemble a project manager without actually being one so that you have their visibility and can shove actual project management onto them and you don’t get fired when management layoffs project managers like the useless eaters they are
        As

        As much as you can, don't write things down.
        Most of your day should be spent in meetings. Nothing should be agreed upon in these meetings.
        The best change is no change

        said, attend a shitload of meeting
        Speak up at least once during each of them
        Find some bureaucratic task that’s a hard blocker for launch but that no one wants to do, take that over. Security or testing is good for this
        Do high profile shit that will land you on division rewards lists, anything involving processes
        Do the bare minimum at your "real" position to keep your manager happy (this is less than you think in most jobs), in CURRENT YEAR no one cares about the actual work, it’s all about the processes around it
        Squirm out of any obligation that doesn’t enhance your internal power, you’re not there to actually make a good product (see previous point), you’re there to look good, and contrary to what midwits think management types respect this *more* than being agreeable because they respect power
        Eventually you’ll get to the point where people just listen to you because they think you’re important because they’ve seen your name enough, even directors and managers

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    As much as you can, don't write things down.
    Most of your day should be spent in meetings. Nothing should be agreed upon in these meetings.
    The best change is no change

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >As much as you can, don't write things down.

      I hate your kind
      >how to do x?
      >(homer voice) nobody knows!

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >be a dick

    basically this. be disagreeable. blame others. never take fault for anything. blame a "glitch" for everything. find someone to blame.
    basically be a schoolyard bully.

    play the game.

    I work in vfx and I've only seen people go up with this shit in mind.

    just be a classic prick.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >i work in vfx
      any chance ur a uk gay?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        canada

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          cucknadas fine

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >vfx
      god I want your job, something I dream of doing in the after hours of my helldesk job

  8. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    exercise your miranda rights, always be leaving, help your coworkers but sabotage development, act a bit moronic and double down

    >this should be 10 story points
    >anon, this should be done in an afternoon
    >well, yes, but you should test it PROPERLY, don't you care about code correctness?
    >proceeds to frick around for another week

    pull up the ladder, if you are involved with hiring always recommend the diversity useless quotas, looks very good to mgmt, cements your place and they offer very little threat to your position. Anyone capable should be binned

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I see I have a fellow team lead in the thread

  9. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Explain what it is you want and how come you want it to your superiors. If you are at a good company, they will either help you with your issue or tell you how come they can't help you with your issue.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      i wanna end "politics" in tech

      and i want to influence everyone to work for a good cause

      not just competition with other companies and working "fast" to win.

      not only to make money

  10. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Not exactly "tech company" advice, but here:
    >don't be the guy talking shit about people
    >don't let people put their work on you, just do what you're getting paid to do
    >and be fricking good at it, be the guy who can do it all
    >try to slip in inane compliments, or seem genuinely interested in other peoples' bullshit
    >smile, at least when they're looking at you
    >most importantly, always seem busy

  11. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    #!/bin/bash

    # the hash of the desired file
    target="d9643115dc80d566d9b985d287451de3"

    # this function will iterate through all of the files iin this directory beginning with file
    for file in file*.txt; do

    # this line hashes the file
    current=$(md5sum "$file" | awk '{print $1}')

    #this checks the output value against the desired hash and returns the soultion
    if [ "$current" == "$target" ]; then
    echo "match found - $file, hash - $current $target"
    exit 0
    fi
    done

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      what a stupid and inefficient solution to the problem, also only a moron would have this problem

  12. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Intercept all communications in the name of corporate security and just blackmail people.

  13. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You can't win them, lol. You post here, even if you're sociable you're still a bit off and not a power obsessed freak. They will always notice you as being a deviant

  14. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    This whole thread is just unemployed hobos pretending they ever held jobs that didn't involve being a janitor at Wendy's. I've never had to play any "politics" ever, just did my job, remained polite and cordial to all my coworkers, didn't try to suck off my manager or defy him unnecessarily, and it all worked out just fine. But then again, I'm a normal adjusted functioning human being, so ofcourse I stick out like a thumb in this clown orgy of a thread.

    You are all skinny fat high estrogen low T man children and you will never earn more than minimum wage in your lives, I can tell. When I become manager the very first thing I'll do is purge and hang all employees that ever accessed IQfy so I can rid myself of the dead weight and work with REAL professionals.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      you don't have to give yourself cramps defending the honor of corporate culture just because you've had the good fortune of never having to work under gay psycho morons. Although you definitely sound like one so maybe you have.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You shouldn't have said that. Now me, an actual manager, will purge you, because you think too much.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      no one gets to OP's mindset overnight. the day your subpar suck-up colleague becomes a manager, you will find this thread from the archive and start following the advice.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >the day I become manager
      Nobody tell him managers make barely above the entry workers and have a hundred times the responsibilities.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I manage a team of code monkeys at a Fortune 40 and make thrice what they make, and atleast 4 times what I made when I worked as an SWE before going for an MBA.

  15. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Stop showering until you smell so bad that they have to give you your own office

  16. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    There are a bunch of approaches I guess
    > Try to get on a team doing the important revenue generating work.
    > Try to get on a team whose work has high visibility firmwide. Similarly, try and find cross-team projects.
    > Try to get on a team whose work is visible to the important people.
    > Actively participate in the decision-making discussions that you have access to and try to be in more of them.
    > Engage closely with people who are in charge of communication: be the subject matter expert that your team lead or PM refers to.
    > Have your name outside of commit messages: emails, internal blogs, design documents, q&a platforms, internal technical talk about your work.
    > Learn to dissent strategically in a way where both parties come out looking fine: eg. you discuss in a small group but are the one who sends the conclusive email littered with "we".
    > Even when you know there was incompetence, publicly lean towards blaming partial information that led to less than ideal outcomes: human error is inevitable, we need a our systems or workflows to detect and avoid such issues.

  17. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    literally just cc your superiors even in the simplest tasks you do and talk about anyone, including yourself

  18. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    never sperg out in front of more than one person

  19. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    change gender and apply for diversity coding

  20. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Bother your boss as little as possible. Never call out inefficiencies. Work OT. Be nice to everyone but talk as little as possible about things outside of work.
    This is how you get promoted quickly.

  21. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    If you have to ask how you aren't cut out for it.

  22. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Depends on what you want to accomplish. Job security? Climbing the corporate ladder? Just be left alone?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      i want this man :

      i wanna end "politics" in tech

      and i want to influence everyone to work for a good cause

      not just competition with other companies and working "fast" to win.

      not only to make money

  23. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You don't, if you're not part of the clique already, you're never gonna get in. And even if you approach them, you will always be the "weird guy". It takes extraordinary skill, charisma and effort to become an insider and a trusted member of the in-group. I suggest you study your environment before you make a move.

  24. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Just say whatever the frick you want.
    Worst thing they can do is fire you, and would that really be so bad?

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