Smartphones: the thing everybody is carrying around at all times that is hardly making them smarter and can barely considered a phone at this point. Everybody has got one and everybody is incessantly on one.
Need to win an argument? Google the answer immediately and demean the person who attempted to rebuttal you. Need to make massive amounts of people laugh instantaneously? Tweet that joke and watch the viral fame engulf you. Need to feel jealously and contempt for people you hardly know? Mindlessly scroll Facebook. And on, and on. There’s simply so many reasons people are on their phone, but that doesn’t mean those reasons are in any way validated.
Technological devices aren’t going anywhere anytime soon, except in front of our faces of course, but smartphones are still what’s at the forefront of this retina burning crisis that nearly seems inescapable at this point. Feel like you’re on yours too often? Have a friend that’s suffering from SPAD (Smartphone Addiction Disorder, I’m making this a thing by the way)? Here’s how to tell if you or someone you know is spending far too much time on their phones.
While you’re watching TV or movies you feel the urge to IMDB the actors and crew, check out their Wikipedia and then follow them on your preferred social network, all without pausing the show, thus missing key plot points.
When you’re walking around an outdoor mall you’re starring at maps on your phone to find the location of a store instead of just looking up and using your eyes to spot the signage of the store in question.
The last time you saw a sunset and didn’t Instagram it right away was before you had Instagram.
If you’re planning on going out to eat somewhere you can’t just be spontaneous and go, you have to check out the entirety of the operation through Yelp and other websites, then judge the place before you even try, and most likely ultimately talk yourself out of going.
You’re so afraid of the thought of being alone with your thoughts even for just one moment that you’ll immediately just jump on some app to scroll when that moment arrives, even if it’s just a few seconds at a stoplight.
Since you missed key plot points from being on IMDB previously, you’ll read a review of the TV show or movie to get the gist of everything you missed, so you can actually feel like you saw the entire thing, even though it’s your fault you didn’t.
Anytime something organic is about to develop in your life you miss out on it, because you fumble to get your phone out to post it as if your life is so crazy random all the time.
Every event you go to you post a picture of yourself just standing in front of the event (preferably with your arm around somebody’s shoulder) and immediately post it to be sure everyone knows you were in fact standing in front of an event today.
When you’re hanging with a group of friends you feel compelled to text a separate group of friends about wishing you were hanging with them instead, but you’re still having a good time with these people. Although, you’re not because you’re on your phone texting people not in attendance.
You’ve uttered the phrase, “I think it’s raining right now,” because the weather app told you it was, but then you went outside and it clearly wasn’t. However, you’re honestly confused because the phone told you it's raining.
Simply put, you feel a phantom buzz multiple times throughout the day, because you feel a yearning to look at your phone.
In the middle of conversations with another actual living, breathing human you’ll touch the power button on your phone just to check and see if you’ve missed any notifications when you in your heart of hearts know that you didn’t.
You’ve got concert footage that’s taking up all your storage space that you’ve literally never watched again, because the sound quality is horrendous and it’s mostly the back of people’s heads jumping in front of you. You just felt so compelled to video it in the moment, rather than not experience it through your screen.
When it comes to checking actual notifications, you’re like a quick draw, because you can get your phone out and swipe it open faster than a “Wild West” gunslinger.
Your life “story” is instantly forgettable just like the platforms you push it out through.
Your legs have gone to sleep more times than you can count from all the times you’ve spent sitting on the toilet long after you’ve finished doing your business, but you’re right in the middle of some great article like this one.
Your phone is always right next to your plate at any given meal indicating that if the food or conversation is lackluster you’ll be diving into something else real quick.
Finally, you’ve always got a charger on hand, because if your phone “dies,” you’ll most certainly feel dead inside until you get it plugged in.