Get our best content

~max once a week~

It’s time to normalize not having kids From the moment they are born, they put their suckers into our soul and extract every last bit of available time and money. Let's rise above animals and make sentient choices.

It almost seems mandatory to have children. As soon as you get a serious boyfriend and/or are considering marriage, your relatives are instantly making eyes at you and popping the “When are you gonna have a baby?” question. That’s the thing, though. They ask when ​are you going to have a baby like it’s just a given.

Believe it or not, the sole purpose of being a woman is more than just being able to bear children. Sorry to break it to you, relatives, but each and every day the world is becoming more modern and not every woman wants to live her adult life caring after another human being (isn’t caring for a husband enough?). The millennial generation is constantly switching up the traditions and creating our own new traditions and, yes, that includes being an adult without a baby.

I remember the moment I told my mom there’s no way I want children. Of course, she brushes it off as me just being a young adult and not really knowing what I’m talking about. Whenever I bring up the subject with older friends and family, they instantly spit out the line, “Well, when you meet your husband that’ll all change.” While I’m not completely ruling out the idea, I honestly just can’t picture myself changing my mind.

I’m not sure exactly what brought me to this ultimate decision. Maybe it’s just a combination of all the things I’ve been surrounded by in my life. I grew up with great parents who love each other and treated me well, but it seems that I’m a minority when it comes to that fact. Between parents constantly getting divorced, stress, finances, and much, much more, I finally came to the conclusion that kids just aren’t in the cards for me.

Before I go into all the reasons that kids suck I’m all set on the whole “being a mother” thing, I just want to put a disclaimer out there. I completely understand that this is a touchy subject, but just realize that this is my decision and solely my opinion. To all the mothers out there rocking their role as mommy, more power to ya!

But, I honestly don’t understand the attraction to babies. Why do people think they’re so cute? Maybe I’m just a huge asshole, but I don’t even think babies are cute or cuddly whatsoever. And is it just me or do they all look the same? Honestly, I’ve maybe seen about like four or five somewhat adorable babies in my whole life. They’re all smiley and googley then, uh, there comes a mouth full of vomit and a full diaper. Especially when babies are just born, I seriously don’t understand the attraction. To be honest, it kind of just makes me cringe. Uck.

On top of that, just thinking about a baby crying and whining and drooling and all those other nasty bodily functions that come out of children literally makes m​e​ want to vom.

Aaand. The world is a terrible place right n​ow –​ I don’t want to imagine it when I’m ready to have kids. I’ve seen some seriously disturbing things on the news happening across the country and even down the street from me.

It’s honestly a sad fact that you can’t even take your kid to the movies without feeling a little eerie and on the lookout. Between shootings, theft, and just all-around terrible things, the world is honestly a pretty shitty place to raise a child. Not to mention, the world is already so overpopulated.

Even the things beyond what we can control like disease and sickness risk have seriously risen in just the past ten years. Now just take today’s world and multiply it by 20 and just imagine. That’s what the world you’re bringing a child into may look like. Doesn’t sound like fun to me.

Will civilization even exist 20 years from now?

Also, having a child is just too damn expensive. Considering the fact that it’s almost $3 for a freakin’ bottle of water, I’m not even sure I want to know how much it costs to raise a child. I seriously cannot even fathom all the products you need to have when you’re a mother—diapers, baby clothes, food, cribs, diapers, stroller, toys, blankets, diapers. Did I mention diapers?

Oh, and I’m still paying my own college loans, never mind starting to save for someone else’s. You think college is expensive now? Wait until 2040 when it’s time for my kid to head off to start their higher education. I’d be drowning in bills. Plus, when I was growing up, we had a couple Bratz dolls and a password diary and called it a great day. Now kids are playing with phones and expensive gaming systems. Talk about draining your bank account (that’s probably already non­-existent taking care of just yourself).

I can’t imagine having to be responsible for another human being. I can hardly manage my own life. Between juggling three jobs and trying to find time to breathe, eat, and shower (you know, life’s necessities) I can’t even fathom the thought of having to fit another human being’s needs into my day, as I hardly have time for my own. Not to mention, my bills aren’t even that serious now.

I’d probably have to get a fourth job and a sugar daddy on the side to get by having a kid. I have two dogs right now and they’re just like kids in that I have to feed them and take them to the bathroom and whatnot, but you can leave them home alone and they don’t need clothes. Remind me why people have babies again? Dogs are just easier, you guys. Seriously.

The thought of having to be “perfect” all the time to set a good example, it’s exhausting. We all make mistakes, and I’d hate to have a child follow my mine. As a mother, you’re constantly teaching lessons and trying to show your child the way of life. But what if there’s something you don’t know how to handle? How do you show your child the right and wrong way? In today’s society, just looking at magazines and seeing people in the streets, you feel pressure to be perfect. I can’t imagine really having to enforce that perfection if I have a real person trying to learn from me.

In all honestly, I really think I’m too selfish to raise a child. I’m sure many of you are reading this calling me selfish and I’m here to confirm that for you. You have to be pretty selfless to raise a child. Call it immaturity or whatever you want, but I want to worry about myself and my puppies and no one else. Many moms I know don’t even have time to shower, let alone go get pampered once in a while.

Call me egotistical, but I love to treat myself to a new lipstick or a fancy dinner once in awhile. I love what little freedom I have right now (being a dog mom and whatnot. I still have some responsibility) and I’m not sure I ever want to give it up. Sometimes a girl needs a night of silence to herself to drink a glass of wine and watch a few episodes of her favorite show, okay?

All in all, I think some of us women just aren’t cut out for motherhood. I don’t think that means anything is necessarily wrong ​with us, we’re just traveling down different paths in life. We’re still just as womanly, strong and brave as mothers are, just in a different sense and there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, it’s time to normalize it.

Sorry, Afrunauts! While 85% of you are wonderful people, the other 25% were far too frequently brigades and troll farms. Their abusive comments have traumatized our moderators, and so we can't allow comments until we have built an ethical way to address the troll problem. If you feel the calling and you have familiarized yourself with what is and isn't free speech, you can still email us your scribbles. If your feedback is excellent, we may manually add it!
PS. The A Black Woman Is Speaking mug is a standing invitation to sit down, shut up, and engage in the wisdom shared by Black women. Lord knows the world needs it right now.

Anonymous X

Do you have anything you’d love to share with a large audience? We’ll read your submissions and you may be featured on AFRU. Email us at [email protected].

6 thoughts on “<span class="entry-title-primary">It’s time to normalize not having kids</span> <span class="entry-subtitle">From the moment they are born, they put their suckers into our soul and extract every last bit of available time and money. Let's rise above animals and make sentient choices.</span>”

  1. “Believe it or not, the sole purpose of being a woman is more than just being able to bear children.”

    Started off well wrong, and likely only got worse (didn’t care to read further). The only true purpose of all living things is survive and reproduce. Everything else is just fucking off.

    Reply
  2. Libs: “Depopulation agendas are a conspiracy theory!!”
    Also libs: “It’s time to normalize not having kids”

    It’s only a “conspiracy theory” if you’re critical of the agenda

    Reply
  3. agreed, we need to spread this message among BIPOC folks. As we know they make up the majority of the lower socioeconomic rung, precisely because they are BIPOC, and so they should educate themselves more on financial literacy and realize having kids is a drain on resources of household, a luxury that only white people can afford anyway

    Reply

Say your thing

Get our best content

~max once a week~