If you could fight any author, who would you fight?

If you could fight any author, who would you fight?

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  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    stephen king, so I can kick him in his hip

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous
      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >you may have gotten your ass beaten many times in the past, but that doesnt mean you cant appreciate this one

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous
  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Helen Keller

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I would love to beat Nabokov's pretentious teeth in.

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Y'all are gay. I'd wrestle with a cute girl.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      the author is between you and the girl, you have to fight them to get to her

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I pull out my .385 and shoot the author in the head doubly so.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          too bad your ammunition is all over 100 years old and duds and nobody even makes projectiles in that diameter so you can't reload them

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      name one cute (girl) author.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Sarah Andersen

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          ok, I will concede she is cute, but not that she is an author.
          >Verification not required.
          didn't think so.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >is against AI
            Would rape happily

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >multiple earrings, none of them expensive enough to pay for your funeral
            disgusting

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Donna Tartt

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        The Brontës. For me? Emily

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      /this
      Ezra pond? Curb-stomp

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >frick
        Topaz Winters
        Rupi Kaur

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I'd kick Hitler in the ball (singular)

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    the author of my diary, tbh.
    except i already fight him every day

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Tyler Durden picked Hemmingway FYI (in the movie at least).

  8. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Stephen Hawking

  9. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Susan Sontag. I hate her miserable israelite face. If I can't pick a woman I'd choose Bukowski, simply so I could brag about beating up Bukowski. I doubt he was a tough as he claimed.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Neruda

      Nice.

  10. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Frank Gardner, he would he scrappy and obviously has studied martial arts. I think he'd be tough as nails despite his friendly appearance and silly hairdo.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >picks a guy in a wheelchair

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Since when?

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          have a nice day

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I'd fight Ari and mop the floor with that fricking crab

  11. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Homer. He was blind so I’d win.

  12. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    William S Burroughs

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Five grams of junk says I can shoot a pina colada off your wife’s head!

  13. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Mohamed

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Mohamed was illiterate (peace be upon him)

  14. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Karl Marx

  15. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Knife fight with Frank Herbert.

  16. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Duel Pushkin, ez dub

  17. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Harriet Beecher Stowe.

  18. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Robert E Howard. He’d probably kick my ass, but after I concede, I’d want to be his friend. We could go lift and box together, then exchange story ideas. 🙂

    Afterall, he’s literally me

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >He’d probably kick my ass
      he was a mama's boy

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Norman Mailer

        That's got nothing to do with anything. Watch fightsports sometime, there are guys who are literal wienersuckers, it has no bearing on fighting ability.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I'd probably fight Plato, for the same reasons
      Plato shared about 1% of his knowledge as not to ruin peoples' appetite... but I bet he would spill more holding some potent Mesopotamian wine
      (and also he was a professional boxer, so by definition a sportsman)

  19. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Mark Fisher

  20. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Doestoevsky. I'm bringing his ass back to Gulag, so he changes into a reddit atheist

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Nothing you do is gonna bring your father back from the store

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        You're getting irrationally mad at a shitpost. I think it's time for you to reflect

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        You're getting irrationally mad at a shitpost in a shitpost thread

  21. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Hemmingway in his prime, I want to see what he's really made of.

  22. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    sword fight to the death against Mishima

  23. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    McCarthy, Hemingway, and Mishima

  24. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymouṡ

    >If you could fight any author, who would you fight?

    Depends on the nature of the fight.

    — TAEKWONDO, OLYMPIC RULES
    Mishima. Show the little homosexual why we don't skip leg day.

    — PISTOLS AT TWENTY YARDS
    Borges. Would be fun watching him pointing his weapon in a random direction.

    — GLOVES, FIFTEEN ROUNDS
    Sartre. By the time we finished his face would be symmetrical.

    — KNIVES, PITCH-BLACK CELLAR, TO THE DEATH
    Ginsburg.

    — QUARTERSTAFFS, NOTHING AT STAKE
    Charlotte Bronte. She was 4'3" and weighed about ninety pounds. I would stand there politely while she tried to lift her staff and then show magnanimity and offer a draw.

    — SNOWBALLS, WITH NO HARD FEELINGS AND A NICE COMRADELY VISIT TO A GOOD RESTAURANT AFTERWARDS
    Nietzsche.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymouṡ

      I spelled Ginsberg's name wrong. Doesn't matter, he won't need it when we're through.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      let me guess, you wouldn't mind having a boring and repetitive job at a factory, where if you forget to pay attention for a second, you'll lose a finger or two

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        BURN.....wait what?

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >wait what?
          it's all in the handshake anon, all in the handshake
          pic not related

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >wait wh--SHK
          >AIEEEEEEE

  25. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    if Sartre was alive I would beat him to death

  26. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Robert E. Howard.
    He'd kick my ass but I wanna see how good of a fighter he really was.

  27. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >author

  28. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Murakami, I will never forgive Kafka on the shore

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Kafka was essentially a proto-nazi and Murakami made him into a post-sissy

  29. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    murasaki shikibu, but instead of fighting we hug for an unspecified amount of time

  30. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Patrick Rothfuss. Fat, psued homosexual. Muh fricking prose. The midwit's favourite author.

  31. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Laura Raicovich

  32. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Hemingway cus he boxed and I box. I'd make it look like Canelo vs Bivol, show him boxings evolution in real time.

  33. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    anne frank

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      you reckon she would like being slapped around with a wiener?

  34. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Sylvia Plath.

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