I'm going to join a cult

There's this Korean cult calles unification church or Moonies and they will literally just assign you a qt Korean wife once you join. Holy shit I have found the most based religion. I don't even care about what they teach otherwise. I'll learn Korean now and believe in whatever those guys tell me so I can get a qt cult wife as soon as possible. I'll probably believe in it if I just try hard enough to not think about anything else.

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  1. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    You do know that if there's a shortage of women, that YOU become the wife, right?
    And let me tell you this, this cult isn't an attractive prospect for women...

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      They'll turn me into a... w-wife?? >//<

  2. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    or you could just work out. this "or" applies to most of the moronic thoughts that course through your mind.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      I'm a proud looser and incel, though. Working out goes against my principles.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        NGMI

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          NTA but self-improvement is mostly a meme. Sick gains will just attract other men

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        Your entire life is gonna be shitty and full of suffering because you've adopted the mantle of a loser. Being a loser is nothing to be proud of.

  3. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    moving to korea won't change you still being a loser

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      It might be a place where I could change my life, though. Maybe a religion is exactly what I need... If they also give me a wife then its just more encouragement to become more faithful and level up my piety.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >needing all these external forces to make changes
        never ever EVER going to make it

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          NGMI

          I will make it with God on my side!!! I believe in the one true faith any you all just don't get it. I'm listening to their podcast right now so I can grow in my new faith. I'm going to get a cute Asian wife and fulfill my life goal.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            they will take all your moeny and give you dish washing duty in return.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            I don't have any money anyways and am willing to do any job if I get a wife and some frens to hang out with and worship God together with. Also, I just need a Korean gf so much its brootal.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            Koreans are a tough people and you're a self admitted and proud NEET. Firstly, this will never happen, and second, if it did, she'd turn you into a literal dog and mock you ceaselessly for being the limp noodle you are.

            Joining a cult could however result in you getting some friends.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            >and second, if it did, she'd turn you into a literal dog and mock you ceaselessly for being the limp noodle you are.
            aaarrgghhh I desperately need this... I need to get dominated by a Korean queen.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            I don't have any money anyways and am willing to do any job if I get a wife and some frens to hang out with and worship God together with. Also, I just need a Korean gf so much its brootal.

            >once X happens then my life will really begin!
            again NEVER going to make it

  4. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Welp, good luck then anon, just be ready in case they give you one of the ugly asiatics

  5. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    I know some dudes managed to get some Jap wives through them, Abe was assassinated by some anti-Moonie guy after all

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Abe was based because he wanted people to have sex. Moonies also want people to have sex so they are both based and natural allies.

      [...]
      >once X happens then my life will really begin!
      again NEVER going to make it

      God can help everyone and grant them Korean gfs!!

  6. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >this thread
    Another example why bug simps are the most pathetic group on this site

  7. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    You're mentally ill, and a hopeless moron for wanting to join a cult like this. have a nice day as quickly as you can.
    Jesus Christ, what the hell happened, IQfy? First the religion gays infested /b/ (and no one cared), then they killed /x/ (and a few people cared, no more funny Bigfoot threads or cool ghost stories), but now you shitbirds ruin IQfy with stuff like this? What's next, are you going to go to /LGBT/ and try to save the souls of some actual gays? Even better, you'll go to IQfy or maybe even IQfy, and talk about how cars and video games are going to bring about the book of revelation. You are a plague on a website filled with people who can't go anywhere else with their own shitty ideas. Think about that, if you're capable of that.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Log off

  8. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    There's no guarantee she'll be Korean. In fact the Moonies are notorious for only promoting the race mixing with non-Koreans. So you could just as easily roll a girl from Japan or the US or even some place in Africa.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      I'm sure op would be fine with an Asian or White cult mandated gf. He'd need to have some really bad luck to get some Black girl, not many of them in it from what I've seen

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        I imagine the Moonies are involved in Africa like any other church because it's the ripest ground for conversion. A lot of the earlier Moonies usually got Korean or Japanese gfs but that was before Moon's reach expanded so it's really a crap shoot who you end up with. There's also no guarantee she'll be pretty or pleasant for that matter. You also don't get the right to be given a wife instantly either. They'll usually make you have to do a few years of missionary work before you've earned the right.

  9. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    good luck dude hope it works out for you

  10. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Buddy, you will marry some HIV+ Kenyan woman who doesn't speak English. As it usually happens at the mass weddings of the moonies.
    One has to admire the religion though. A Korean madman and his dream of Christian Globohomo.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Regardless, Moon is dead and his children are uninspired grifters. Shame, they were promising like Scientology.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        10 IQ take man, if you only really knew

  11. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >amerimutt
    >coomer
    that explains your autism

  12. 4 months ago
    Radiochan

    ask abe shinzo how well being associated with them worked out for him lol
    also korean women are unfeeling b***hes and are generally pretty ugly without severe plastic surgery, which moonies aren't the type to get

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      all women are ugly without makeup or operations

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      I asked him but he didn't respond. Probably because he is dead.

  13. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Elaborate on the steps from joining to getting cult wife

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