Is there anything less cool or more transparent than turning 30 and deciding you now need to know/read a lot about wine?

Is there anything less cool or more transparent than turning 30 and deciding you now need to know/read a lot about wine? I don't think there is... It's a remarkably common phenomenon and one of the most vapid tendencies here in the West.

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  1. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Almost 30 here. Wine is a meme, all tastes the same. I wonder if it's gonna change if I finally hit that age.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >all tastes the same
      Literally tasteless

      Red Wine tastes like and smells like the rancid scent of a lunchbox not cleaned out from elementary school. Absolute garbage - I have no idea what people taste in it.

      White wine is better but not good, and Champagne is probably the best but still tastes inferior to carbonated apple or grape juice (Izze or something like that).

      Beer is disgusting - I imagine if my piss was carbonated this is what it would taste like.

      Scotch/Whiskey etc... - Burns the throat has no redeeming taste - like most alcohol seems that people drink because their alcoholic, or to dull the pain of life away (either way the taste shouldn't matter) or to impress people with talk of "hints of oak, melon, and lavender".

      Margarita : Probably one of the few redeeming alcohol beverages - a properly made margarita legitimately tastes good.

      You just like sugar lol. If you like margaritas there are tons of other sweet/sour wienertails out there

  2. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    I still don't really get wine overall. There are some reds that I've been able to quite enjoy, but nothing that's blown my mind, and actually setting up everything so that the wine tastes right to me is way more of a finicky ordeal compared to other forms of drink. On the other hand so much of it just feels like it's made to taste terrible almost as if a deliberate joke and I don't get how people see so much nuance in it, especially French wines that taste almost like mud.

    Whisky on the other hand naturally just vibes with me and even styles of it that are supposed to be 'difficult to appreciate' (peated etc.) just taste wonderful to me with no effort and I get the complexity that people see in it. Likewise a well mixed gin wienertail will impress and satisfy me. Wine is supposed to be this apex of drinks but I'll just find a style and region I actually like for a reasonable price and stick with that and not feel like I'm missing out on much.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Whiskey and beer drinkers are straightforward. They are also much more fun to drink with. Great stories and conversations on anything, high and low.
      Wine drinkers are boring and end up droning on endlessly about wine and places you "absolutely must visit".

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Allowing things to air out first matters, first pull is rarely the best. It's about finding flavors that by rights shouldn't be present in old grape juice. If you don't shop around for what suits you you just aren't going to acquire the taste for it, same as any other rot gut.

      Bartended for 10 years in SF, all kinds of gigs including 2.5 years at a high end wine bar.
      Wine snobs are awful. 95%+ have no clue what they are talking about and say whatever they think they are supposed to say. Recommend a Cab and they conjure up a list of adjectives they have heard or read others say about Cabs. Repeat for every wine they have heard about. "fruity, bold, tannins, shoe leather, juicy, finish, terroir, blackberry, assertive, jam, ripe, palate, presumptuous". It matters not what qualities the wine they are drinking actually has, the point is to appear cultured and refined. The appearance of appreciating wine is the whole point.
      Present them with a varietal they have never heard of before and their brains short-circuit. They are at a total loss, deer-in-headlights stare. They try to get prompts by asking about what it's similar to so they can draw on their word bank. Avoid answering and watch them be conpletely perplexed as they sip only to mumble "yes, it's very good".
      Nothing riles them up more than tasing a wine, swishing and sucking, swirling and sniffing, then loudly proclaiming "Tastes like grape". Cuts right through the pretentiousness.
      There are some sommeliers and afficionados who actually know what they are drinking and saying. They tend to be more relaxed about it all as they are not putting on a show. The overwhelming majority are partaking in a play, a "cultured" simulacrum. Slap a fancy label on a glass poured from a box of Franzia or pour Carlo Rossi in an empty Chateau Whatever bottle and watch them gush and praise and extol and laud. Give them a Pinot but call it a Merlot and hear them describe Merlot word for word from the latest Eric Asimov column.
      The upside is they are big tippers, the downside is everything else about them from their inane conversation pretending to be connoisseurs of the high life to their complete lack of substance and real culture. It is all performative with actors who can't act and a story that goes nowhere.

      tfw decades of birth control have downregulated your hypothalamus enough to blunt your sense of smell while gay hagging at wine bars

  3. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm 34 and maintain that wine culture is entirely a scam and easily the least interesting alcoholic beverage in terms of flavor profile and variety.

  4. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Wine is for homosexuals and women, cheese is for Aryans. It's true that other non-human Homo-sapiens somehow managed to develop cheese independently, however none of them have managed to master cheese as we have. Cheese in Europe is rooted, it's local, it's a key part of the historical identity of villages. Many types are named after local saints. Taste valdeon, stilton, gubeen, brie de meaux and tell me Europeans have not left the rest of "humanity" behind.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Everything you said about cheese is true about wine.

  5. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    i'm 31 and the only thing that I'm a connoisseur in is asian dicky. Never really liked wine, my parents are HUGE pseudo wine fans and pump tons of money into it. I just hate alcohol in general (of course, unless there's a korean hottie involved). I would never drink alone or "socially"

  6. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Bartended for 10 years in SF, all kinds of gigs including 2.5 years at a high end wine bar.
    Wine snobs are awful. 95%+ have no clue what they are talking about and say whatever they think they are supposed to say. Recommend a Cab and they conjure up a list of adjectives they have heard or read others say about Cabs. Repeat for every wine they have heard about. "fruity, bold, tannins, shoe leather, juicy, finish, terroir, blackberry, assertive, jam, ripe, palate, presumptuous". It matters not what qualities the wine they are drinking actually has, the point is to appear cultured and refined. The appearance of appreciating wine is the whole point.
    Present them with a varietal they have never heard of before and their brains short-circuit. They are at a total loss, deer-in-headlights stare. They try to get prompts by asking about what it's similar to so they can draw on their word bank. Avoid answering and watch them be conpletely perplexed as they sip only to mumble "yes, it's very good".
    Nothing riles them up more than tasing a wine, swishing and sucking, swirling and sniffing, then loudly proclaiming "Tastes like grape". Cuts right through the pretentiousness.
    There are some sommeliers and afficionados who actually know what they are drinking and saying. They tend to be more relaxed about it all as they are not putting on a show. The overwhelming majority are partaking in a play, a "cultured" simulacrum. Slap a fancy label on a glass poured from a box of Franzia or pour Carlo Rossi in an empty Chateau Whatever bottle and watch them gush and praise and extol and laud. Give them a Pinot but call it a Merlot and hear them describe Merlot word for word from the latest Eric Asimov column.
    The upside is they are big tippers, the downside is everything else about them from their inane conversation pretending to be connoisseurs of the high life to their complete lack of substance and real culture. It is all performative with actors who can't act and a story that goes nowhere.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Nothing riles them up more than tasing a wine, swishing and sucking, swirling and sniffing, then loudly proclaiming "Tastes like grape".
      Kek. I have also worked in bars anon, I feel your pain. It is extremely funny to see the number of adjectives and similes used to basically just describe grapes.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Do Americans really? In civilized countries we just get the drink and then leave the bartender alone.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Nothing riles them up more than tasing a wine, swishing and sucking, swirling and sniffing, then loudly proclaiming "Tastes like grape". Cuts right through the pretentiousness.
      I used to do a bit where I'd muse over the description on the label, sniff the wine, swirl it by my ear and remark "Interesting acoustics for a Châteauneuf-du-Pape", take a sip and proclaim, "Ah yes. Tastes exactly as expected." And not elaborate further.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      good post

  7. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    The same thing as you described but switch wine with whiskey. That's more pathetic. Both are close to eachother though.

  8. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Red Wine tastes like and smells like the rancid scent of a lunchbox not cleaned out from elementary school. Absolute garbage - I have no idea what people taste in it.

    White wine is better but not good, and Champagne is probably the best but still tastes inferior to carbonated apple or grape juice (Izze or something like that).

    Beer is disgusting - I imagine if my piss was carbonated this is what it would taste like.

    Scotch/Whiskey etc... - Burns the throat has no redeeming taste - like most alcohol seems that people drink because their alcoholic, or to dull the pain of life away (either way the taste shouldn't matter) or to impress people with talk of "hints of oak, melon, and lavender".

    Margarita : Probably one of the few redeeming alcohol beverages - a properly made margarita legitimately tastes good.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      "I'll have the appy juice please."
      :^)

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Beer is disgusting - I imagine if my piss was carbonated this is what it would taste like.
      b-b-but muh acquired taste

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        It is an acquired taste. In the sense that if you keep drinking for the buzz you will eventually get used to the taste and develop preferences for certain kinds. Same as you heroin addicts probably prefer certain kinds of syringes.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          >you heroin addicts
          Meant just
          >heroin addicts

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      You have the palate of a 10 year old. You should try to move out of the US and eat real food.

  9. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Being 23 and thinking you will never "get old."

  10. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    I spent my 20s working at various levels of the beer industry (retail, bartending, brewing) so I ended up knowing a frickton about beer and the brewing process. It also helps that expensive beer is the price of cheap wine. What a wonderful drink. Too bad it makes me sleepy.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >It also helps that expensive beer is the price of cheap wine.
      >Laughs in Australian

  11. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    It's part of the pre-mid-life crisis package.
    >wine
    >cigars
    >watches

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Wine is more "I just got a big raise, how do I fit in with these other rich guys"
      The mid-life crisis choice is getting really into scotch or bourbon

  12. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    I've never been able to get into alcohol in general. Beer, wine, anything strong, none of it really appeals to me.

  13. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Lot of children ITT.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      It's exactly posts like this that results in people behaving like

      Bartended for 10 years in SF, all kinds of gigs including 2.5 years at a high end wine bar.
      Wine snobs are awful. 95%+ have no clue what they are talking about and say whatever they think they are supposed to say. Recommend a Cab and they conjure up a list of adjectives they have heard or read others say about Cabs. Repeat for every wine they have heard about. "fruity, bold, tannins, shoe leather, juicy, finish, terroir, blackberry, assertive, jam, ripe, palate, presumptuous". It matters not what qualities the wine they are drinking actually has, the point is to appear cultured and refined. The appearance of appreciating wine is the whole point.
      Present them with a varietal they have never heard of before and their brains short-circuit. They are at a total loss, deer-in-headlights stare. They try to get prompts by asking about what it's similar to so they can draw on their word bank. Avoid answering and watch them be conpletely perplexed as they sip only to mumble "yes, it's very good".
      Nothing riles them up more than tasing a wine, swishing and sucking, swirling and sniffing, then loudly proclaiming "Tastes like grape". Cuts right through the pretentiousness.
      There are some sommeliers and afficionados who actually know what they are drinking and saying. They tend to be more relaxed about it all as they are not putting on a show. The overwhelming majority are partaking in a play, a "cultured" simulacrum. Slap a fancy label on a glass poured from a box of Franzia or pour Carlo Rossi in an empty Chateau Whatever bottle and watch them gush and praise and extol and laud. Give them a Pinot but call it a Merlot and hear them describe Merlot word for word from the latest Eric Asimov column.
      The upside is they are big tippers, the downside is everything else about them from their inane conversation pretending to be connoisseurs of the high life to their complete lack of substance and real culture. It is all performative with actors who can't act and a story that goes nowhere.

      It is you who is responsible for pretentious asshats trying to look mature by pretending to like and understand shit they don't because they believe they ought to to 'appear adult'.

      You are an ass.

  14. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    31, drank a bottle of wine every night for the past 2 years. I still know nothing about wine and can't talk about it or my 3 favourites at all

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      I like boxed sangria. When I was living in Naples I'd drink two liters of that a night and watch the fireworks before passing out on a park bench somewhere. It was nice.

  15. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >why yes, I have read Roger Scruton's book on wine tasting.

  16. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    If you drink it based, if you don't and snobby about cringe

  17. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    I prefer to buttchug my wine

  18. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Beer, especially draught beer, is delicious and comfy. Citric wienertails like mojitos, margaritas, sours, and daquiris are objectively quite nice and refreshing. Most other forms of alcohol are rank and I don’t see how people can defend them taste wise.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Single malt Scotch is tastier than anything else.
      Gin 'n Tonic is the most refreshing of all drinks.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        This. Straight whisky is as flavorful and complex as anything else in this world. People are saying there are children in this thread because only the immature mind of a child immediately assumes that “everyone is just pretending to like it in order to look like adults”.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          >People are saying there are children in this thread because only the immature mind of a child immediately assumes that “everyone is just pretending to like it in order to look like adults”.

          No, this is absolutely true and there is plenty of evidence for this. You have to be a naive conformist to think that people DON'T pretend to like shit more than they do for the sake of clout. What really gets me though is when people like you enable this, making it worse for those who genuinely enjoy things for what they are because they have a natural taste for them.

          Like, there are plenty of people who will pay shitloads of money for bottles of Macalen mostly because some cool movie character made it look rare and sophisticated to drink, as per their marketing strategy, jacking up prices independently of quality. Like, I just had a conversation with a dude in a IQfy thread who was pretending to buy expensive Scotch that he didn't know shit about.

          If I started to pretend to have appreciation for wine that I don't, which is something people definitely do, than that would just make things worse for both myself and people who do love it.

          American whisky/bourbon tastes like fermented maple syrup. I can't find a liquor I can stand beyond tasteless vodka and Jaeger.

          I'm one of those who contends that bourbon is basically crap outside of the upper range Wild Turkeys, everything else in my experience either barely has flavor outside that cheap 'bourbon taste' or is massively too expensive.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            Again, just because you don’t have a particularly refined palate when it comes to drinking wine or spirits, doesn’t mean the same holds true for everyone else. I don’t eat spicy food and would never be able to appreciate the nuance between various pepper based ethnic dishes, but that doesn’t mean those same ethnic people only eat that stuff to look cool or macho

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Again, just because you don’t have a particularly refined palate when it comes to drinking wine, doesn’t mean the same holds true for everyone else.

            Like, you're on this board called 'lit'. Surely you are capable of reading what I wrote but looking at the words and actually understanding what I'm saying, and comprehending that the point you are trying to make is something I agree with, and that many people do have authentic tastes for things that others might not.

            But I (I'm

            Single malt Scotch is tastier than anything else.
            Gin 'n Tonic is the most refreshing of all drinks.

            to make it clear) do have a naturally refined palette for spirits, whisky in particular, and can make quite confident judgements on their quality because I know I genuinely enjoy the complexity of good quality whiskys. But I specifically don't have a high regard for wine, so I don't go around claiming to care for it more than I do and leave it to those who enjoy it more to do so. If someone if calling me a child simply because I just don't like most wine that much then I will generally ignore them, but I prefer to shit on such people because they just encourage pretentious attitudes from other people who also don't care much for a given drink but feel they ought to pretend to.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Gin 'n Tonic
        It was nice at first but juniper makes me gag at this point

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          The whole point of the tonic is to mask that specific juniper taste, which mutually cancels out the bitterness of the tonic somehow. Then you somehow just taste the other flavors in the drink, which can be arbitrarily good depending on the botanicals and tonic.

  19. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    American whisky/bourbon tastes like fermented maple syrup. I can't find a liquor I can stand beyond tasteless vodka and Jaeger.

  20. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Don't care. Gonna keep drinking Jaeger.

  21. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Always amazed that despite all the "high-class" posturing that happens on here, most IQfyizens seem to have incredibly basic, unrefined taste in everything that isn't related to books, and on top of that they seem to think this is a virtue or a mark of intelligence rather than a stubborn refusal to step outside of their comfort zone.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      bro if I had to choose between spending $100 on wine and becoming autistic about it and spending $100 on pokemon cards and become autistic about it, I’d choose the pokemon cards. The reason is a higher chance of getting LAID. Dumb
      homosexual

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >The reason is a higher chance of getting LAID
        With knowledge of Pokemon cards? Who are you trying to bed, a 12 year old boy?

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          >12 year old boy
          My poor naif Black person, these pokemon cards of mine have been accruing market value since 1997

  22. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Have to use the nose.

  23. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm not much of drinker at all, but wine is about one of the only forms of alcohol I can really appreciate. I like to have a glass when I'm having dinner at a nice restaurant or buying a decent bottle from the store and using it to cook/drink with dinner. I'm not snobby about it, but I do think it's fun to try different grape varieties/regions and spotting differences. Hurts my feels to think I might be judged for ordering it. 🙁

    I don't think I could ever become obsessed with it tho. High quality loose leaf tea has way more nuance and variety in comparison for instance.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      You won't be judged for ordering it. You will be judged for being a pretentious douche about it.

  24. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Belgian beers are where it's at.
    Just ask Michael Jackson.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      The best books on Belgian beers are written by Michael Jackson.

  25. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Hard cider is the intellectuals choice. Nothing better than a crisp, light cider that’s a little sour on the end with a whopping 9% abv to top it all off. Just regular old Pear cider would beat any wine any day of the week for me. Brittany had it figured out from the start.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Lambic is superior

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Hard cider is the intellectuals choice.
      Not quite

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        Only the original Four Loko was good, since they removed the caffeine it's just another sugary "malt beverage."

  26. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    all alcohol snobs are insufferable. i'd even say that whisky and spirits snobs have surpassed wine snobs in insufferableness.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      I really wouldn't recommend it if you're not well connected or making top quality wine you're not going to get far.

      I think the worst people I've encountered were ones who only drank whst they thought were high quality wine or just bought the most expensive stuff to treat like like an ornament or display more of a cash flexing thing I guess but they remind me a lot of people who splash out on thousands for books just to have them as a furniture pieces

  27. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'll just buy one of the cheaper bottles of white I can find (not too cheap though) and drink it like anything else.

  28. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    My 30s obsession is birds. Birds are cool.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      what's your favorite birdie? just curious, they look cute.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        I haven't' thought about that, but I saw a couple of these little frickers recently, they got quite close to me.
        I made a feeder outside my apartment block a couple of years back but I've only seen sparrows and pigeons so far.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        Albatross

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      This is now a bird thread. It's all up to you anon!

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      What's your spark bird?

  29. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Its copeing with alcoholism

  30. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    There is nothing more plebean than consuming alcohol in any shape, way or form. Beer tastes like piss, wine tastes like spoiled grape juice and liquor tastes like disinfectant. You drink because it makes your feefees good for a few hours, like a wild animal, but then rush to invent rationalizations for your actions so they seem less pathetic and grotesque.

  31. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    I don't drink but wine is definitely the second best alcohol I've ever tasted
    Rum is the best especially Kahlua
    I'd certainly choose either over diet coke or beer 100 times out of 100

  32. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Wine tastes good and I like it. Visiting a winery and tasting a variety of different wines is fun. I liked wine even before I developed a taste for beer or whisky. It's just nice. People can be pretentious or snobby about it, but you don't have to pay attention to them. Just try things and drink what you like.

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