Lotr

Why does lord of the rings read like a edgy teens writing?
>And then his sword caught fire, it was badass bro

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  1. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Read the Sagas

  2. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Cause it was cool when it was more ‘novel’ and unexpected. It probably feels like an edgy plot cliché/device from the fact it became first used by twenty something fans of him for their beginning writings that moved into the cultural Zeitgeist of fiction that became a thing used by the “edgy teens” you say.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Back in the day a flaming sword would have read as an obvious biblical allusion, rather than the ten millionth heckin cool young adult fantasy novel.

  3. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    a wiener crowed

  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Wtf I just got chills bros, only seen the movies so didn't realize what scene it was till the end

  5. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    His sword being on fire is pretty badass, yes.
    Go back to jerking off about Schopenhauer or something you pretentious little twat.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >His sword being on fire is pretty badass
      It's too cartoonish

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        That's not saying anything.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        no fun allowed!

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          It's fine but lotr should be treated in the same tier as something like Naruto or another cartoon

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >t. hasn't read the bible

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          This is closer to sonic the hedgehog than the Bible
          >Heckin fire sword

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >t. hasn't read the bible

        No no, his point stands, the Bible is cartoonish too

  6. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Old fool. Do you not know S O V L when you see it?

  7. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >and behold!
    Kino

  8. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    he had never heard the power of an 808 bass or seen Naruto. he had to write about hardcore shit and they only had the Beach Boys and tuberculosis back then nothing cool had ever happened

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      He stole everything from WW1. getting drafted is being cutting edge

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Only certain sayings from the war. If anything, Tolkien wrote fantasy to cope about his service and time in WW1.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      He read dune though, Paul is pretty Naruto esque

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        I take it, he then invented the time machine to go back and write LotR before Dune ...

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          I'm just saying he experienced Naruto before he died

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        the earliest publish date for dune is 1963, how did he read dune and then write a book a decade before dune came out?

  9. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Rohan had come at last.
    If you don't think that the coolest shit ever get the frick outta here.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      They have a great flag

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Suddenly the king cried to Snowmane and the horse sprang away. Behind him his banner blew in the wind, white horse upon a field of green, but he outpaced it. After him thundered the knights of his house, but he was ever before them. Éomer rode there, the white horsetail on his helm floating in his speed, and the front of the first éored roared like a breaker foaming to the shore, but Théoden could not be overtaken. Fey he seemed, or the battle-fury of his fathers ran like new fire in his veins, and he was borne up on Snowmane like a god of old, even as Oromë the Great in the battle of the Valar when the world was young. His golden shield was uncovered, and lo! it shone like an image of the Sun, and the grass flamed into green about the white feet of his steed. For morning came, morning and a wind from the sea; and darkness was removed, and the hosts of Mordor wailed, and terror took them, and they fled, and died, and the hoofs of wrath rode over them. And then all the host of Rohan burst into song, and they sang as they slew, for the joy of battle was on them, and the sound of their singing that was fair and terrible came even to the City.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      did he come from riding on the horse?

  10. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Because you have a teen mind and see it through your own ignorant eyes.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >No u
      Grow up

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        The usual cope.

  11. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >the nazgul lifts his hood and reveals he's an apparition, only made corporeal by his robe and crown suspended by nothing
    KINO
    I
    N
    O

  12. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >a wiener crowed.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      It symbolizes dawn has come at last. If a literal children’s book is too deep for you, you may want to contemplate suicide because there are actual rocks with a greater capacity for critical thinking than you.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        And the sword on fire symbolizes Tolkien being a hack

  13. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    I hope you read your advice out loud to yourself. You're as much a child as OP, if not more.

  14. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    nice bait op, not a bad effort

  15. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I read all that and feel nothing. stupid made up names and words. magic isn't real and thus cant be used to tell any narrative worth a lick of salt in substance. it is just a cool "totally not a nazi" guy in black saying he's gonna kiiiill because he hates peace and people not dying. I liked the hobbit because it was childish and fun. but whenever I read "adult" fantasy or sci fi I groan at the unrealism of it all and with no thought for message aside from "be good" or something because magic isn't real and can frick off. if you base your world and your themes, your messaging or your world views in your book on magic then it is immediatelly and irrevocably lost on any serious reader. sure enjoy it as a guilty pleasure but Tolkiens messages on what is good or bad is destroyed the instance he made a ring that was evil or something. yeah he didn't like industrialism and enterprise but all he did was say "engine and smoke bad" and he even had to make up an entire mythos to really hammer home the idea of industry being bad

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      do germtrannies really

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      It's for children anon

  16. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    There are intelligent people who devote their entire lives to study the fantasy world Tolkien created. Let that sink in.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      My heart goes out to those people, it really does.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      My heart goes out to those people, it really does.

      Truly a shame they don't devote it to posting on IQfy instead

  17. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Hush

  18. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    And lo, came unto the threads of IQfy was OP, his rainbow banner streaming behind him. His chaps were assless, and semen streamed from his scabby moustache. In sooth, here was a monstrous homosexual.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      "You cannot enter here!" said OP, and the 11" black dildo halted at the gaping gates of OP's ruined anus.

      "Nah, I'm just funning you! Dive on in, there's plenty of room!". And the dark dildo fell howling into the abyss of OP's GRIDS-infested colon, where so many others had met their doom.

  19. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >newbie announces sage

  20. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Is this bait? No IQfyard could conceive a crowned flame horse-rider wielding a sword of the same flame, much less write about it. Never even read this LOTR and from this alone I see why it became a cultural phenomenon. t. earnestpoaster

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >No IQfyard could conceive a crowned flame horse-rider wielding a sword of the same flame
      A 13 old who watched anime doodling in his notebook could

  21. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I didn't like The Hobbit at all and was considering dropping Tolkien altogether. This page however, has single-handedly reinvigorated my interest in reading LotR. If liking this makes me a cringeworthy edgelord supreme then so be it. Thanks for that OP, I almost made a huge mistake in disregarding this series.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      You should try something like the hunger games or Percy Jackson next anon

  22. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    God, The Return of the King really makes up for the rest of the trilogy, doesn't it?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      The scourging of the shore is interesting but completely ruins the narrative progression

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        I like The Scourging Of The Shire, and I appreciate why Tolkien wrote it. He wanted to show that the devastation of the War of the Ring could even penetrate the Shire, that the Hobbits weren't immune from the chaos that engulfed Middle-Earth. As Gildor says when Frodo meets the elves in the Shire, "You can fence yourselves in, but you cannot fence the world out."

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah yeah yeah. I know, anon. Anyone who has read the book has realized this.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Should've been somewhere else

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Where? Another book?

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          >the scourging of the shire is interesting but ruins narrative progression
          >But anon, the scourging of the shire is interesting!

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            The silmerillion was interesting but that shit didn't need to be in lotr

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        It's completely essential and the most SOVLless omission from the movies,except of course for Tom Bombadil

        • 2 months ago
          Dylan

          It being cut proves it's not essential

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            >It being cut proves it's not essential
            my foreskin says otherwise

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            CONSOoOoOME PRODUCT

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            The book is a product simpleton

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Nice tautology.

  23. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    ROTK > The Hobbit > TTT > FOTR

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Hobbit is better than ROTK

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      TTT / FOTR > Hobbit > ROTK

  24. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    What the frick do you mean? It's visceral. It evoked my imagination. Frick I think I need to read LOTR

  25. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    The magic in LOTR is perhaps the best part of the series. It goes from dreamlike and surreal with Tom Bombadil to material with Gandalf without being jarring.

  26. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I can't see any faults in this writing. OP, why don't you re-write this page to enlighten those of us on how it should have been done?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      I can't write.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      In the midst of the siege on Gondor, the imposing figure of the Lord of the Nazgûl rode forth, a menacing presence amidst the fires. None dared to stand against him as he passed through the archway, a gateway unconquered by any foe before him. Only Gandalf stood firm, mounted on Shadowfax, the lone horse unyielding in the face of terror. Gandalf barred the way, challenging the Black Rider, who revealed himself with a crown without a head to bear it, and taunted Gandalf with the prospect of death. Despite the threat, Gandalf remained unmoved, even as a wiener crowed in the distance, heralding the approaching dawn and the arrival of Rohan's reinforcements.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Based

        I can't see any faults in this writing. OP, why don't you re-write this page to enlighten those of us on how it should have been done?

        btfo

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Soulless garbage

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >the witch king's description and threats to gandalf are gone
        Completely soulless.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        filth

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        K I N O
        I
        N
        O

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Completely flat. Everything is stated in a "matter of fact" manner, very robotic. I felt no emotion whatsoever. There's zero build up, no tension, there's no drama. The original felt like the flashpoint of a truly epic showdown and did a much better job of hyping up the Lord of Nazgul. It feels like something ChatGPT would write.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >no dialogue
        Old fool! Old fool! is the best part.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        This is awful and doesn't fit the saga-feel Tolkien was going for.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        You don't understand style. This drifts from boring to unintentionally comical. Why not stick to correcting wikipedia articles?

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          see

          Completely flat. Everything is stated in a "matter of fact" manner, very robotic. I felt no emotion whatsoever. There's zero build up, no tension, there's no drama. The original felt like the flashpoint of a truly epic showdown and did a much better job of hyping up the Lord of Nazgul. It feels like something ChatGPT would write.

  27. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    You only feel that way because tons of other things have copied it in the decades since it was published.

  28. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    i wish i could get into LotR but I find the writing so boring. Never been able to get past Fellowship but maybe its worth jumping in again.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      It's a modernist novel and every scene is almost a comedy like the Venture Bros riffing on the structure of fantasy out of love. It's also some high level language going on with it that drives it, you have to find an appropriate voice to read it in. Like Moby Dick, go in expecting it to be weird and kinda moronic and you have a good time over it being puffed up as some kind of masterwork. That's why it's a masterwork.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Anon can't write a coherent paragraph without mentioning his heckin cartoons

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          No, I lost a good friend yesterday. I'm a little addled.

          • 2 months ago
            Dylan

            Understandable then, my apologies

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Fellowship, especially in the beginning with its two chapters, provides a nice contrast to some of the more grim events later in the story and is simply one of the most fun adventure I have read. Everything about it seems grand, exhilirating and there is genuine excitement in it. You only have to allow Tolkien to lull you in and transport you to Middle-Earth. Give it another try, it is my favorite part of the story and one which makes me glee with the sheer little child's joy, amazement and enchantment!
      This is something I find peculiar, though hardly surprising, when people, especially those who come from the films (I was such a person, too) and complain how "boring" the books are. They are not, it is just a you problem.

  29. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    FOOL OF A TOOK!

  30. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Currently reading The Two Towers, and I must say I'm really glad I'm finally getting into this. This is my favorite excerpt so far:
    >Thus Gandalf softly sang, and then suddenly he changed. Casting his tattered cloak aside, he stood up and leaned no longer on his staff; and he spoke in a clear cold voice.
    >‘The wise speak only of what they know, Gríma son of Gálmód. A witless worm have you become. Therefore be silent, and keep your forked tongue behind your teeth. I have not passed through fire and death to bandy crooked words with a serving-man till the lightning falls.’
    >He raised his staff. There was a roll of thunder. The sun-light was blotted out from the eastern windows; the whole hall became suddenly dark as night. The fire faded to sullen embers. Only Gandalf could be seen, standing white and tall before the blackened hearth.
    >In the gloom they heard the hiss of Wormtongue’s voice: ‘Did I not counsel you, lord, to forbid his staff? That fool, Háma, has betrayed us!’ There was a flash as if lightning had cloven the roof. Then all was silent. Wormtongue sprawled on his face.
    >‘Now Théoden son of Thengel, will you hearken to me?’
    Call it edgy teens writing, I thought that was cool as frick

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Movie does it better

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Call it edgy teens writing, I thought that was cool as frick
      It's not edgy in the least. It's great writing that sets out to achieve something and does it splendidly.

  31. 2 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >The bad guys are bad because they were born that way
      >The good guys are good because they were born that way
      You guys and Tolkien have a child's understanding of morality

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        You being a homosexual is very immoral

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Expected childish response
          proves my point. I accept your concession

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >any of the bad guys* in Tolkien
        >born that way
        You don't even have a child's understanding of Tolkien.
        *Ignoring the orc problem

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Irony was a mistake, it should've been confined exclusively to satirical works and never allowed as a valid form of public discourse or to disguise one's true opinions out of shame and cowardice.

  32. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    This passage in particular is great. Obviously is going over the head of morons accostumed to read soulless slop. Go back to watching your capeshit and your game of thrones.

  33. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Fantasy genre is garbage

  34. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    This is wonderfully written. I may have to borrow Fellowship later today

  35. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    That's actually some pretty good writing.

    10/10 would read again.

  36. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Cringe

  37. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Maybe I'm just a simpleton but I really don't see what's wrong with this. Then again unless something is actually just written by someone going through bain death like True Allegiance I usually don't mind diction.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      nothing
      Op is just being pseud who wants to get (you)s by talking about Lord of The Rings

  38. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    the same reason why homosexuals say the matrix and resident evil 4 aged poorly, because literally everyone and everything aped it

  39. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >In rode the Lord of the Nazgûl.
    >In rode the Lord of the Nazgûl.

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