The other morning, after I stepped out of the shower, I realized that the bath towel no longer fully wrapped around me. Sigh. It was yet one more thing refusing to fit my pregnant belly. The blossoming stretch marks sure aren’t welcome, either.
And yet, there have been a bunch of unexpected payoffs of having a preggo tummy (aside from the baby inside, that is). Check out these benefits, otherwise known as #brightside:
#1. 99.9% less guilt …
… about eating ice-cream sundaes, taking naps, getting out of activities you don’t want to do, and completely avoiding your scale.
#2. Also! No worries about …
… food bumps following over-indulgent meals.
#3. Serious amounts of savings …
… on clothes shopping. Like, Gilt isn’t having that many flash sales on sexy maternity clothes.
#4. That cellulite on your thighs?
What cellulite? You can’t see it anymore. Thanks for the blockade, belly!
#5. People in crowds …
… willingly get out of your way, like the parting of the Red Sea. And if they don’t, you have a perfectly good excuse for pushing.
#6. Who knew? Granny panties …
… are actually pretty comfy.
#7. Plenty of built-in bedroom entertainment.
Now you can lie there and try to figure out which little limb just rippled across your stomach.
#8. When else in life …
… can you get a free boob job? Because your usually XL pair are looking pretty small in comparison to your XXL belly.
#9. An amazingly convenient place …
… to rest your hands.
#10. Two words:
No sit-ups.
#11. That same husband who never wants to take out the garbage or pick up things off the floor …
… will rush to do that stuff, lest you bend or lift anything heavy. Making you wonder how you can extend his behavior without being pregnant for the next twenty years of your life.
#12. Hey, it’s actually kind of fun …
… to waddle-walk and not concern yourself with looking the least bit graceful as you stroll down a street.
#13. Fewer wrinkles since …
… you can no longer sleep with your face smushed into the pillow.
#14. You will strike little children speechless with awe and wonder …
… as they gaze upon the gigantic protruding mound formerly known as your belly.
#15. Suddenly, your mother-in-law …
… who may typically be a wee bit critical only wants to reminisce about her own pregnancy experiences, sparing you her usual comments about your housekeeping (or lack thereof).
#16. Welcome to an easier commute!
Your belly can push open doors and move the train turnstile for you.
#17. So what if you want a second breakfast?
… or a second lunch or second dinner?
#18. Finally! A valid excuse …
… for not having a six-pack.
Relying on sexism to get advantages? Wow... pathetic.