Group yoga is pretty intimate. You stretch and sweat with a group of strangers while bending your body into unusual positions. Last week, as my yoga instructor pushed a girl’s leg back, a loud trumpet sound bellowed from her nether regions. You could have heard a pin drop. Just when I was about to feel really bad for the teacher positioned between her legs, the girl said, “FYI, that wasn’t a fart!”
Queefing is typically not something you learn about in sex ed class. I would also bet that it’s not something your friends talk about or something that your mom or older sister warned you about. So, if you’re anything like me, you probably didn’t even know what a queef was until one day it happened to you and you thought, “OMG WHAT IS HAPPENING IS MY VAGINA EXPLODING” and then you Googled it and hopefully you got to this very excellent article that told you what was happening.
because you see, queefing is one of those vagina things that everyone feels weirdly embarrassed about and yet no one really talks about. I say “weirdly” because queefing is not something you should be ashamed of. Queefing, also known as a vart, meaning vaginal fart, vegan fart or a fanny fart to my British friends, is when excess air gets pushed out of your vagina, making a fart-like sound.
Queefs happen most often during sex or physical activities like yoga or pilates, and if you’re not prepared for it, it can be a little jarring. But it’s not something you should feel weird about!
Considering the fact that you probably didn’t get any queefing education, I’m sure you have some questions. And luckily, I’m here to answer them because I literally will talk about vaginas to anyone.
What is a queef?
A queef is the sound and action of air being emitted from your vagina. Although it’s considered to be a fart from your vagina, there are no intestinal gasses being expelled so there is no odor.
I queefed. So now what?
So you feel awkward for a moment. You’re not the first woman to queef in front of another person and you won’t be the last. You won’t enjoy yourself if you’re worrying about what your body might do.
What do guys think of queefing?
If a dude is experienced, chances are he’s experienced a queef or two already. If not, it’s still okay. Embarrassing things may happen on either side. If they’re not middle school boys and actually mature, guys will see queefs as a humorous but natural event that occurs when you’re getting it on.
If you prefer to get busy with girls or any other fellow vagina owners, queefing that results between any activities you two get up to will probably be a little more understanding and less awkward since you have the same parts going on down there.
Some guys even find queefs erotic. One guy even told me that he feels like it’s like a burp after the best burger. (I know, weird. But whatever.)
Is queefing really the same as farting?
Kind of, but also not really. A queef happens when the excess air in your vagina gets pushed out (this is why it happens so often during sex – because when a dude thrusts his penis into your vagina, he's pushing air in and out). What makes it different from a fart is that it's literally just air – it's not gas that has built up in your intestines from bacteria eating food.
So while it sounds like a fart, it isn't actually a fart. And even though people call it a vagina fart, that's a fun name, but not accurate.
What should I do if I queef?
There is no such thing as an unacceptable reaction when it comes to the natural processes of your wondrous body. Just laugh it off. It’s no big deal. One of my BFFs says that she jokes, “That’s what happens when it’s really good.”
When do queefs happen?
Queefs happen when there is air pushed into the vagina and then it is expelled. You can’t predict a queef but they can happen when fingers or a penis move in and out of your vag, trapping air inside of you. What goes in must come out.
Why do queefs exist? To punish us?
I’m convinced that queefs exist to make us all take things a little more lightly and remember that sex (and yoga!) is supposed to be fun. You should be able to smile and laugh in bed and on your yoga mat. There is no reason to be ashamed of natural body functions.
Do queefs smell?
They don't! Queefs don't smell because, like I said, they're literally just excess air. Farts smell because a fart is an emission of gas. A queef isn't gas, so it doesn't smell. Doesn't that make you feel so much better?
(If your queefs somehow smell funky you should see a doctor ASAP. that’s a sign if a possible gastrointestinal problem.)
When you queef, does that mean you're doing something wrong?
No! Like I said, queefing is just air being pushed out of your vagina. You can't control it. It can happen very often, or almost never. But it's never because you're doing something wrong. Queefing is totally normal.
What should you do if you queef on front of someone?
Uhh, laugh? In all seriousness, queefing REALLY isn't a big deal. I know it's embarrassing, especially if it's with a new partner. But it shouldn't be! Dudes sometimes don't know what queefs are, and so if you're worried that he thinks you just farted, you can be like, "ha ha oh queefing" or something random like that. The best thing for you to do is laugh it off. You could just ignore it if you'd like. But sex is awkward sometimes, and it's really important to laugh at the weird stuff.
Will a guy think you're weird if you queef?
He shouldn't. If a guy understands what a queef is, then there's no reason for him to be weirded out by it. Some dudes know what they are, don't care, and will laugh along with you. If he IS weirded out, it could be because he doesn't actually know what's happening, and in that case, fill him in. If he knows what it is and is still weirded out, then that's his problem. Bodies do weird stuff sometimes, there's no reason to act like a jerk about it.
Is there a position where you're more likely to queef?
There might be, but it really depends. It's hard to say something like, "doggy style is when it's the worst," because it could be different for everyone. What causes a queef isn't the position, exactly, it's what's happening. If a dude is thrusting in and out, in and out, and pulling his penis out pretty far, then shoving it back in, that will probably cause you to queef. That said, some girls do say that queefing happens more often in one position than others. A lot of girls say they queef more when having sex doggy style. A lot of girls say they queef more when they switch positions a lot. It just depends!
Can you queef even if you're not having sex?
Yes! Queefing happens most often during sex because of the thrusting, but it is certainly not something that can only happen during sex. Queefing can happen any time air needs to escape your vagina, and certain movements might push that out. A lot of women report queefing during a dance class, during yoga, Pilates, or at the gym in general, or even just when standing up after sitting down for a while. Honestly, queefing can happen whenever.
How can you stop queefing?
Basically, you can't control them. More often than not, a queef happens out of nowhere - you have no idea it's coming. Sometimes you can feel that air needs to come out, and you might squeeze it out. But you can't stop it. And why should you? Queefing is just the way your body works! Let it happen.
Any way, why are you so worried about this? As you and your partner get to know each others’ bodies you may notice all sorts of quirky things. This is what makes us beautifully (okay, and hilariously) human.
But it’s so awkward to queef during sex! Is there a way to prevent it?
There isn’t really a way of preventing queefs and, honestly, it shouldn’t really be a big deal anyway. Bodies are weird. Bodies are funny. If you and your boo can’t handle a farting sound while you’re going at it then you two should probably set your priorities straight.
Yes, it can be pretty embarrassing the first time it happens; maybe it’s even embarrassing the second, third, fourth, etc time that it happens, too. But you’ll get used to it.
Anyone who is that caught up on your queefs is not someone you want to be wasting your time with anyway. If you end up with someone like that, kick ‘em to the curb.
Can you control a queef?
Again, no. It's not like you feel a queef coming on, and you can hold it in, like with a fart. If you feel it happening, it's going to happen. If you want, you could ask your partner to thrust less and focus more on grinding. You could avoid positions where you always queef or you could avoid switching positions. But why be that conscious about a queef? It's so not a big deal.
Are there girls who don't queef?
I don't know the details about the vaginas of all girls, but I'm going to say no. Every girl queefs at one point or another. They might talk about it, but they do it.
Okay, if queefing is inevitable is there a way to feel less weird about it?
Is it hard for you to ignore a yoga or sexytime queef without wanting to jump out of a window? Then best way to shrug off any awkward situation is with humor. Queefing in your pilates class? Make a joke about it. Say you’ve got a one way ticket to queef central or something. If it happens during sex, laugh it off with your partner and keep on keeping on.
The point is that queefs happen and that’s okay! There are a billion other things in this world you should be worried about – like Sharknados – before you ever spend hours agonizing over a queef. Life is too short to get caught up over a vaginal fart.
Just twirl your queefing worries away, girl!