At first glance, you may think this particular column was written by a man. However, this is Brooke, and I assure you that I do, in fact, have a vegana. I just wanted to take a few minutes to clear the air about blow jobs and swallowing in an effort to help my lady friends be a little better to their man friends when the time comes… or..um… cums.
So, in order to assist the ladies in their oral endeavors, I present to you six supremely valid (and scientific) arguments for swallowing.
There's less mess
There are times when cum splashed across your ass or breasts can be incredibly sexy. But when giving a blow job and he’s ready to explode, the worst thing you can do is stop and remove your mouth. If you stop and finish him off with your hand, you’ll break the rhythm and make his orgasm much less amazing plus there’s going to be a sticky mess somewhere. Not to mention, that ’somewhere’ might also be in your eye, which burns like a motherfricker.
So be a real woman, keep sucking him to completion and don’t make a mess about it. Just swallow.
You instantly have more options
Let’s say you’re in a movie theater, in the car or maybe in a confessional. If you’re the type of girl who won’t swallow, giving a blow job in any of these scenarios is just not going to work.
Not only is there going to be a problem with the mess we already mentioned, but you’re probably going to get thrown out of some places too. Trust me, it can be embarrassing. By being a good little cum guzzler for your guy, you open up many more options and can pretty much satisfy him anywhere you please. Ladies choice.
It's sexier
Imagine these two situations. In the first, you’re on your knees giving your guy the best blow job he’s had in quite some time. You can tell he’s about to blow his load so you take your warm, soft, wet mouth away and finish him with your hand. In the second situation, you look up at him while his wiener is in your throat, moan and swallow while he reaches complete satisfaction.
Which ending is sexier? Something he can do at home by himself or something so sizzling hot that any time in the future you can just make eye contact with him to turn him on? It’s called a happy ending for a reason. The happiest ending for him is when you swallow the load and pretend it was delicious.
It's nutritional and healthy
Health conscious? Afraid swallowing might be bad for you? It’s the opposite! Ejaculate is 5% protein, and also contains vitamin C, B12, ascorbic acid, calcium, citric acid, fructose, lactic acid, magnesium, zinc, potassium, sodium, fat, and hundreds of different proteins.
Sperm also contains something called spermidine, which has been shown to protect against liver cancer.
Also, if you’re watching your weight, don’t worry: each load is only about 5 calories. You’ll burn more calories giving a great blow job, so just think of it as a negative calorie (and incredibly fun) snack.
He’ll last longer the second time
Ladies, is there something about swallowing that really grosses you out? Here’s a little fact you can keep in mind while you power through it if you’re one that doesn’t really enjoy swallowing sperm.
After he recovers from the mind-blowing oral sex you gave him, he’ll last a lot longer when he fricks you later. Just give him a little recovery time, then cuddle up and let him know it’s your turn next. With any luck, you’ll be rewarded with some extended play time, receive some great oral sex yourself and he’ll hold out a bit longer while he’s banging you senseless.
You'll live longer
The earlier mentioned spermidine, which was originally isolated from sperm (hence the name), has also been shown to increase the lifespan of animals by up to 25%!
You'll be happier
Many studies have been done on this, and they mostly agree. There is no one compound to thank for this; it turns out that semen is a potent wienertail of all kinds of mood-enhancing drugs.
It follows research which shows that seminal fluid contains chemicals that elevate mood, increase affection, induce sleep and also contain at least three anti-depressants.
The researchers also claim that women who have regular unprotected sex are less depressed and perform better on cognitive tests.
Semen contains another of chemicals along with spermatozoa, including cortisol, which is known to increase affection, estrone, which elevates mood and oxytocin, which also elevates mood.
It also contains thyrotropin-releasing hormone (another antidepressant), melatonin (a sleep-inducing agent), and even serotonin (perhaps the best-known antidepressant neurotransmitter).
You’ll score points
I’m not saying he won’t call you back if you don’t swallow, but what I am saying is if you want to be on the top of his "do call" list, you’re going to need to knock back a load or two. You might not want to be on the top of every "do call" list because of your amazing oral skills, but you will want to keep your options open.
Why men should go down on a woman while she’s on her period:
1. Less Mess. No blood on the sheet, cause you lap it all up. Unlike fricking.
2. More Options. You can go down on your woman anywhere anytime now. Back of the car, movie theater, confession booth. You can please her anywhere you please.
3. Sexier. Imagine this situation: You’re on your knees between her legs, you’re rubbing her through her pants, getting her all worked up by telling her what you’re going to do with your hot little mouth, your lithe arms pull down her pants, and you see that she’s menstruating so you finis her off with your fingers. It’s way better if you keep the grove going and go down on her.
4. Protein. Bloody tissue is a great source of protein and salt for the diet.
5. She’ll last shorter the second time. Don’t like going down on someone who’s menstruating? Hold out for the orgasm, and she’ll come quicker the next go around. Ladies come faster when they’re already worked up. So finish the blow job, cuddle up to her, say it’s your turn, and she’ll be coming again in no time.
6. You’ll score points. I’m not saying that she won’t call back if you don’t go down on her while she’s on her period, but you’ll be on top of the “do call” list. If you want that lady with the fabulous body to call you on her next booty call, go ahead an earn your gold star by eating her out while she’s on her period.
This is a great article. So true! Can we teach this in sex-ed? LOL!
Is Brooke Laine HOT? Sorry but we all know unattractive girls swallow, otherwise they would be ignored. Now if she’s hot then please continue with your wise advice to your other hot friends. Hot friends don’t let hot friends blow and spit.