Scrum is not agile, it's a retarded system that makes everything more complex than it has to be.

Scrum is not agile, it's a moronic system that makes everything more complex than it has to be.

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  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I hate these stupid terminologies and managers

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >just pay me to slack all day

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        having a meeting every hour is what kills people's drive to begin with

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          No it helps management to get a better picture on how you are progressing with your assigned tasks, and PIPd you when you are slacking and dragging down the team performance.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            i was working 10 hours a week max for months WITH scrum

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous
        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >having a meeting every hour is what kills people's drive to begin with
          Not if the clocks are clean to begin with.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Scrum gets rid of managers (if actually implemented, which is extremely rare I admit)

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        No, it replaces managers (meaning people who actually trained to be managers) with amateurs in that area - engineers.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Every manager is an amateur: nobody holds a degree in management they just got the job by sucking up to the boss.
          Engineers at least understand what the problems are that need fixing.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        At a large enough company, agile just becomes more and more cooks in the kitchen and nothing can ever get done. Meetings for meetings and follow up meetings and guests join scrum and story refinement sessions for 2 hours a day 3 days a week, and even if 20 stories get deployed, the morons don’t even follow the acceptance criteria and there’s no source of truth to what was needed in the first place because nobody really knows why we’re doing this at all. You can roll out a whole new tool and prop it up and train 100 users and nobody ends up using it or following the process.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          All large organizations become like that.
          It has nothing to do with trying to be agile or not.

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Avatargayging pedophile that is samegayging his spamthread
      Report for avatar/signature use

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        everyone laughing tasty when reportus getting cranky

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    My workplace uses a very explicit "waterfall" system of pre-planning and scheduling everything, hard deadlines and inflexibility, but with agile vocabulary. They call every fricking meeting "a scrum"

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    hold with geek here

    have man selfstanding outcreasers who are not cp so enough that with to slavemountain comes in and shares out uppoisons on somebody and says how long time that shall take so fix that person that. so works it on my grind.

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Is... i-is that... A MEETING???!!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHGHGHGH HOLY FUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK MEETINGS YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS OH MY HOLY FRICKING GOD FRICKING MEETINGS YESSSSSSSSSS

    I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE MEETINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CRAAAAAAAAAVE MEETINGS!!!!!!!! I'M A SCRUM MASTER!!!!!! I'M A SCRUM MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!! I'M A SCRUMBRAIN!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SCRUMJACKING OFF OH MY FRICKING GHODOODDDODODDOOOOOOOOOOOD

    ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M FCKING SCROOMING!!!!!!!!!!!!1 I'M FUUUUUCKING SCROOMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!! UNFFFFFF UNF UNF UNF UNF UNF YASSSSS YESSSSSS YOOOOOOOOS

    OH MY GOD OH MY FRICKING SO GOOD HERE IT COMES HERE IT COMES THE FRICKING BEST MEETING THE MEETING ABOUT MEETINGS ARHGUGHGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGHGHG YES YES YESSSSSSSSSS UNF YES

    SOOOOOOOOOONIC HEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOES SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONIC HEEEEEEEEROOOOOOooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

    A AHH AHHH AHHHH AHHHHHH AHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHH AHHHHHH AHHHH AHHH AH

    GOOSH GOOSH GOOSH GOOSH GOOSHGOOSHGOOSHGOOSH ABGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSNNSJSDJ FSSSSSSSSHHPPLLLLUGGGHRRRTHTTGHGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      homie homie shit ahahah goofy ass cranky homie shit SHIT homie BBC FRICK niggger Black person Black person crank crank zany on that shit AHAHAHHAHA homie shit bbc oh boy now are the seethed pork frizzled

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >t. slacker

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Scrum
    Isn't that what they programmed the original monkey island games in?

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >We set mid term goals
    >We refine into smaller subtasks
    >We write these tasks in tickets
    >We add these tasks in 2 weeks sprints and assign them to team members
    >At the end of the sprint we see how it went and optimize next sprints
    >repeat
    I don't see the issue here or why it should get stupid names like scrum

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >I don't see the issue here
      The entire system robs devs of their independence.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Different anon and not an agile fan myself, but which devs and what kind of independence.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Just create your own job then, moron. Either abide by the rules set by your employer, or just frick off.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I am a business owner, and some of slaves were nagging about our daily standup meetings, so I have create two daily standups instead.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      After working on multiple projects, I have realized is Scrum doesnt really matter. As long as the team comes up with any process that works for everyone then that is the process which needs to be followed as long as it get things done

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >I don't see the issue here
      the problem, like with most processes, are the people. i also don't think agile is inherently flawed. i guess i've just been lucky to work at places with good managers

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Agile is bullshit altogether.
    It's basically can be reduced to a banal statement:
    "If everyone is nice and competent and will communicate well, working together will be a bliss".
    Well, no shit.

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Matgeek thread?
    I lost all my cooking webms a while back

  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I hate corporate culture and "managers", bros. These things disgust me at a primal level.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Same but I abide. Yet we have a management bullying culture in our department. By our nature, we can pull processes out of our asses at will, and we do. We establish processes productmanagement can never and will never engage with because we design them as such and the result is them being tortured by quality control.

      You might not be interested in war, but Ill make sure itll be interested in you.

  11. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Yeahcrate

  12. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    these things may have started off with good intentions, but they have become productivity tracking methods for management to figure out how to PIP.

  13. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Real scrum has never been tried.

  14. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >matgeek is infecting other boards
    it's over

  15. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    SCRUMLORD
    sounds like some nurgle unit

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