These are the signs you've been abducted by aliens, according to UFOlogists According to UFOlogists, experiencing two or more of these signs is cause for alarm.

Whether or not you think aliens are real (they probably are), there have been countless abduction stories and videos that make it hard to deny that there might be something out there visiting us.

From individual abductions like poor Betty and Barney Hill to the US navy releasing videos of their jets chasing tic tac UFOs capable of impossible aerial physics, there's tons of cases from past to present that can't be explained away with the notion that they're all tin foil hat wearing conspiracy theorists drinking moonshine from the same jelly jar.

Who knows? Maybe YOUR fear of heights, doctors, almond eyes, or Tyra Bank's forehead stems from a forgotten abduction experience.

If you suspect you've been an unwilling participant to an alien's probe party, experiencing two or more of these signs could mean definitely means you've been abducted by aliens.

Missing time and/or black outs

Many blackouts can occur for obvious reasons; getting hit on the head, heat exhaustion, or two fisting Tequila Sunrises until it's too late to realize that Tequila Sunrises taste like the vomit you're going to fill your shoes with later that night.

But black outs or missing time that happen in bizarre circumstances or frequently – with the victim suddenly finding themselves someplace, not remembering how they got there and not being able to recall one or more hours of time – is one of the signs of a possible alien abduction.

Aliens might be smart, but surprisingly they don't seem to be too detail oriented. For a species that want to remain anonymous, various abduction accounts show that they do some sloppy ass work by not returning people how they found them and in some cases, returning people completely devoid of clothes in a launder mat somewhere five days later (jerks), or even in a field 30 miles from the house they snatched you from.

Barring a drinking problem, having multiple experiences of black outs/missing time (along with missing shorts) could be an indication that you've been sampled by something extraterrestrial.

Electronics act weird near you

The photo is black and white. That's extra spooky.

Certain lights dim when you go near or under them. Analog radios turned off have suddenly come abuzz with noise.

Unusual marks or scars with no explanation on how you received them

Some classic types of scars and marks in alien abduction literature. On the left is Stephen Michalak from what is called the 1967 Falcon Lake Landing case or Manitoba incident.

There's a thing I call a ‘dimple' that's underneath my right eye and only shows up when I grimace to lift weights (and by weights I mean a double cheeseburger). Deep down, I'm sure my dimple isn't a dimple, but evidence of sample scrape made by an alien during his first day on the job.

Odd divots, scars, deformities or marks that have no explanation as to why or how they got there is a red flag that maybe, you could've been scraped by an alien newbie and that somewhere in space, a piece of your knee is being cloned into another you, only with tighter abs and better vocabulary.

A feeling of being watched

Everyone has experienced this feeling, but for you it's a frequent occurrence. You are absolutely not a fan of uncovered dark windows at nighttime.

A strong "marker memory" that will not go away

If you ask anyone who's watched Exorcist what they remember most about that movie, they would probably say the scene where she crab crawls out of the well, her Edward James Olmosy face covered with wet hair. Wait, wrong movie. The point is, experiences that create great emotion or trauma will leave a ‘marker memory' in your brain that you'll always remember; much like how The Ring has us deathly afraid of Asian kids at the beach and dry skin.

Oil of Olay? Anyone?

If you've experienced an alien abduction, this would certainly fall under the category of a traumatic experience. So it's not unusual for a victim to have a marker memory, with no recollection of when or where they've seen it. These images usually involve some sort of an examination table, bright lights, nightmares of a skinny baby, or memories of strange faces and could be tell-tale signs that you've been abducted.

Awoken with soreness in your genitals/anus which cannot be explained

If you're currently not somebody's bitch behind the slammer and don't participate in glory hole tours of the city, waking up with sore genitals/anus could be yet another indication that you've recently been violated by E.T.

Based on recorded experiences, abductions sound a lot like a general physical that you would get from your doctor; only this doctor's appointment has a little sprinkle of date rape in it. We're not quite sure why these aliens feel the need to roughhouse with our parts, but apparently they do and sore genitals could be the aftermath of other worldly beings checking out your no-no holes and wondering why you don't chew your corn properly.

A lump under the skin that when x-rayed reveals a metallic object

Sure, you could have accidentally implanted a metal fragment into yourself when black out drunk, but aliens could be afoot.

Fear of almond eyes or dreaming of odd eyes (such as animal eyes – like an owl or deer) staring at you

"Joke's on you, we don't even HAVE eyelids!"

The movie The Fourth Kind (2009) brought to light the alleged abduction experiences of the people in Nome, Alaska. Several of the victims interviewed reported seeing a white owl staring at them through their windows before the abductions. It was assumed that these people were actually remembering the alien's large eyes.

Possible victims of an alien abduction have strong marker memories of the classic big almond eyes (because rumor has it these aliens have some epic orbs), which in turn can cause a fear or phobia of them specifically or even eyes in general. Because who wouldn't form an irrational fear when something like this challenges you to a staring contest?

Multiple UFO sightings

They clearly have taken an interest in you (you are interesting).

Having experienced unexplained paralysis, especially in bed

Intelligent as they may be; physically, a little 10 year old girl could put your average, run-of-the-mill alien in a headlock and give it a wedgie. Which is probably why paralysis is an alien's favorite dart gun to use when they need to snatch us away in the middle of the night for a quick poke, probe and a possible anus GPS tracker insertion. (AKA: Tom Cruise's dream date).

Most people who do recall their abduction experience don't remember the alien wooing and courting them out of their room with flowers and a brand new George Foreman grill (chivalry IS dead). Most of them; however, do remember having what could be described as a temporary paralysis overcome their body, becoming physically unable to move from their beds before being taken.

Skeptics excuse this as just a simple sleep paralysis because skeptics are constipated and dead inside. While sleep paralysis is certainly a possibility, paralysis coupled with the other signs we've mentioned above could mean that most likely, your suspicions of having been visited by aliens may not be completely unfounded after all.

***

Of course, that's all according to UFOlogists.

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  1. Oh, I’ve had the missing time, random memory markers, and sleep paralysis ever since I was a teen. Hmm, maybe that’s why I’ve had hyper-realistic dreams about travelling to other dimensions.

    Ooo, and what about high EMF. I know it is usually linked with ghost, but for the past 5 years my brain has been pumping out enough electrical interference to block radio signals. I once even had a radio change stations just by walking in front of it.

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