Single mother dating is difficult—and it should be Ladies, this is why abortion exists.

Updated to add: The use of the term ‘single mother' is not exactly accurate. If you are a mother and you are collecting child support, you are not a single mother. You are a single woman. He rejected you. Not the child.

First up, let's clarify our terms. A widow is NOT a single mother. Her husband died! Lumping her in with single mothers is an insult to his memory, to her and to her children. So don't even think of doing it. Especially war widows. If you ever find yourself referring to a woman whose husband died on a battlefield as a single mother, you should immediately pour Tabasco sauce into your eyes, because you deserve to weep all the tears I'm certain she has.

Divorced mothers are also NOT single mothers, although a huge flashing PROCEED WITH CAUTION sign is definitely in order. We'll get to these charming ladies later.

A single mother is a woman who had a child outside of any established relationship, or a relationship so fragile the thickest retard in the world ought to have been able to see bringing a child on board was a FUCKING TERRIBLE IDEA. Single mothers are bona fide idiots and here is why you should never even consider dating one:

First, this is a woman who clearly doesn't give a shit about her child's well-being and future prospects. Children of single mothers do poorly on every imaginable scale: they have more emotional problems, experience more stress, are more likely to grow up poor, they have lower educational achievements and experience way more behavioral problems than children who grow up with married parents. Depression, suicide, drug abuse, jail and psychiatric medications are all more common in populations of children raised by single mothers.

Ladies, this is why abortion exists! If you screw up and get pregnant, don't screw up even more and bring an innocent child along with you! The rest of us who have to LIVE with your fucked up, emotionally scarred children will PAY you to have a fucking abortion. Be sensible, for the love of god.

Second, single mothers are clearly really, really shitty at making life decisions. Having a child out of wedlock is pretty much the number one thing you can do to fuck up your life. You can pick up a heroin addiction, drop out of high school, rob a bank or decide to write the great American novel financing yourself on your credit cards. All of those things can be fixed. You can go to rehab, get your GED, get parole, and pay off those cards. But once you have a child, you cannot take it back. It's done.

Third, single mothers profoundly misunderstand men. There are few men who are overjoyed to spend their blood, sweat and tears on some other guy's genetic offspring. Remember the Cinderella Effect?

It's real. A modern man doesn't turn up his nose at a woman with some sexual experience who might have learned a trick or two from previous lovers about what men REALLY like, or more likely, she learned how to FIND OUT, but the majority of men would like to see a NEW sign on her uterus. No previous occupants. When a man picks a wife, he wants to know he won't be competing with some random babydaddy who was there before him.

A woman who cares so little about her children, her own prospects, and her future husband is NOT going to make a great wife. Sorry. It's just not going to happen. A great wife and mother places the needs and happiness of her husband and children ABOVE her own needs, and in doing so, finds her greatest happiness. So politically incorrect to say so, I know. But a woman who makes YOU the center of her life is going to be a great wife. Oh, and in return, you have to make HER the center of your life.

See how that works? Yeah. Not really a huge mystery. You live for one another. You both put each other's happiness above your own. Exactly what single mothers do NOT do.

Now divorced mothers, who are a breed of single mothers, MIGHT be a little different, but whenever you approach one, sing this little song in your head: it takes two to tango.

Never, ever assume a divorced woman is some innocent blushing maid cruelly abused by some terrible man. Oh, that's the story she'll spin for you, because really, what women is going to sit there and say "I'm an unbearably controlling and irrational cunt who made my husband's life such hell he decided he would rather be a weekend Dad than spend one more second with me".

When you meet a divorced single mother, immediately start looking for the flaw. It's something big. Something that drove another man to pledge his undying love to her, to have and to hold, from this day forth, and then sometime later decide "fuck this shit.  I'm outta here". Stand firmly on guard.  Scan the horizon, dude. Something wicked this way comes. Or it soon will.

Divorced moms who escaped abusive marriages with drug/sex/gambling/whatever addicts should not get a free pass from you, either. Even if it's TRUE that the husband was a colossal fuck-up, you need to ask yourself what kind of imperceptive moron couldn't spot that? What kind of insecurities plague a woman who thinks getting married to a drug addict is good idea? What kind of delusional self-image does a woman have, if she can fall for a con artist with a gambling habit that would shame Charlie Sheen? Be very cautious around a woman who takes none of the blame for her failed marriage. You might not be the FIRST man she blames all her problems on, but you sure as hell can be NEXT.

Don't be.

On the whole, give single and divorced mothers a pass. And for the love of god, if you decide to give one a spin, STAY AWAY FROM THE CHILD. That child is aching for a man to call his or her own. Every child of a single mother lies awake at night in bed, longing for the Daddy he sees on TV, in books, in the lives of the other kids at school. He wants you so badly. Don't let him fall in love. You'll break his heart. Or hers. Little girls long for daddies as much as little boys.

That's the real danger. The children of single mothers have already been wounded so deeply by the lack of a father. To give them some hope that it might be YOU, and then leave them is unspeakably cruel. It's the worst thing you can do. You can't save those little innocents, but you can save them from hurting even more.

Don't date single mothers. It's just not worth it.

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11 thoughts on “<span class="entry-title-primary">Single mother dating is difficult—and it should be</span> <span class="entry-subtitle">Ladies, this is why abortion exists.</span>”

  1. This article hurts my heart. I was raised in a Christian household where I was taught that sex before marriage was never okay and which I abstained from. But what I couldn't do was keep men abstaining from forcing themselves on women. I was raped when I was 18 and growing up and being how I was raised, abortion was not an option. It was not my son's fault that his father was a disgusting pig who couldn't control his impulses and I wasn't going to kill him for that. I also am not the type to give my child up for adoption, always wondering where he was or how he was doing. At the time, I was living on my own, working part time and going to school part time. After I had my son, I went back to school, got my nursing degree and am now a RN making $60,000 a year. I also found a firefighter who I married and who has raised my son like his own. We have been living a happy ever after for five years now. My son is very well off with no emotional or mental instability and had none for the three years he was raised by just me. To stereotype single moms like this is just wrong. There are instances like rape or birth control failure that can result in unplanned pregnancies but not necessarily unwanted. Not everyone believes in abortion and what's more sickening is women who have sex out of marriage, get pregnant multiple times, and have multiple abortions. It's like in this day and age, women view abortion as an after-thought birth control, like a late Plan-B. There are successful women in this world who had unfortunate events take place that have left them as a single mom and to simply tell all men to avoid them is absurd.

  2. It was all good until the abortion part.
    A woman who keeps her baby alive is a better person than a woman who kills her babies. Or a woman who puts her babies up for adoption is a better woman than a woman who kills her babies.
    Abortion is anti-male. Some of those men even IF they are not married or dating the woman, WANT AND SHOULD GET rights to their babies but they do not. Before or after birth. Abortion is also anti man because it will always be something women who are married can do in secret and husbands will be continuously lied to all around the united states and have no idea a woman is killing a fetus that is EQUALLY his. Killing his child in secret is never something a woman that is an MRA should support.
    She also says in the "single fathers just say yes" article that men who are fathers are the embodiment of responsibility, but I think that if a woman feels as though she morally cannot kill her offspring, has the same embodiment of responsibility as a single father. I would carry a baby to term at ANY cost, because it is my responsibility to not kill human babies or any human offspring, especially my own.
    If you are this pro choice- you might as well be a feminist if you ask me.
    Believing the shit that babies are everywhere and unwanted is bull. There are waiting lists everywhere for infertile and homosexual couples who WANT a baby who cannot make a baby themselves. There are people who would PAY for women to abort their babies, but those women are generally brainwashed feminists. The fathers and the babies need rights. Abortion caters to women's feelings and not the others involved, and that is not okay and should not be supported. I would suggest everyone, even judgybitch herself, look into abortion procedures and the large amounts of waiting lists for babies all around the country. Not to mention I have personally known multiple men whose wives legally killed their babies without their consent. Imagine a "doctor" killing your child and having no say in it, that is what happens to men every day. It needs to stop.

  3. Dammit I really shouldn't have read this article… My divorce is on it's way and I don't even want to date a guy who has kids, no idea how that's going to work after reading this article. It sounds like divorced women scare the hell out of men!!! I'm not desperate so I guess that's in my favor but come on – even divorced women have needs that parenting doesn't satisfy! I'm 31, 3 kids and about to graduate medicine. I own property and have enough balls and ambition I don't need a man for much at all. On the whole I'm happy and balanced (as much as any woman can be). I get hit on constantly and I've dated a younger guy that even wanted marriage… My choice not to go further. Is it really that scary for a decent guy to date someone in my position?! I'm not the kind to settle for a loser so I guess kids, career and BOB for me now. Thanks for killing the hope before I even started dating…. -____-

    • Ah yes the exception to the rule and of Course men are "scared" of you. Besides the fact that your piss poor attempt at a shaming tactic is transparent, the writer of this is a woman so it's also wasted. Who paid for that education? Who paid for that property? From the sounds of it, you are exactly who the article is warning about. You are more than happy to reap the Rewards of divorce- you know that thing that usually gets meted out to divorced women, at the expense of the divorced man. Just saying.

  4. I'm so sorry the general population has to deal with "someone like me" now, the product of a single mom… I don't do drugs, I work two jobs, and go to school. I have done disaster response work, and volunteer helping kids every year. Man, I guess my mom should have just aborted me so I wouldn't have ended up so bonked up. Not saying the article is completely wrong but there are other perspectives to think of here.

    • Sorry, but supposedly being the exception to the rule doesn't negate the rule. If you are not within this spectrum then clearly this isn't about YOU. See how that narcissism works?

  5. Damn, this article is as real as it gets. It's a shame we feel the need to be "politically correct" in this country, because frankly, the author speaks the truth in regards to single mothers. While single mothers do have the ability to better themselves and the lives of their children, most often than not they ARE more susceptible to making poor life decisions, as harsh as it sounds. Single mothers have poor judgement when it comes to choosing partners, friends, jobs, colleges, etc. They also are more impulsive and act on primitive instinct, rather than plan ahead and set goals. Ever notice how within two years after having a baby most of them tend to have another one? With a different father, whom they barely know? Smart, eh?

  6. Wow, judgybitch there were some massive assumptions in that post (many are possibly true often enough). I had a 10 year relationship with a loving man who did not believe in marriage (and was not religious). We share two beautiful children who are raised well by both of us (but yes not together). I work full time and own my house outright (no mortgage) and have plenty of money for holidays and extra education for my kids, piano lessons ect. I am a doctor, a research fellow. My ex-partner and I split because his pot smoking eventually caused a rift in our relationship, and I felt the kids were getting too old to be exposed to that daily. But I was the financially secure one. I'm also emotionally secure and my kids are fine and happy. So a lot of the points you made I could not relate to. The only one was that the new boyfriend / eventual husband would always be around another mans children and possibly their dad. That's hard to navigate. A friend at work has moved in with a man who has his kids 50% of the time and that's hard enough, but it would be challenging to say the least to have someone else's children around always. I just don't understand why you think it's the women who are the financially or emotionally needy ones when relationships break down.

    • Yes yes you are of course the exception to the rule. Did you even get the part about how the divorced mother NEVER claims any responsibility for the relationship? Yeah.
      " I just don't understand why you think it's the women who are the financially or emotionally needy ones when relationships break down."
      -It's called EMPIRICAL EVIDENCE. Pretty simple really. Again, exceptions do not negate the general rule.

  7. All of this is a little disheartening; however some is true. My suggestion for anyone looking to become involved in any kind of relationship, don't lump people into categories and automatically assume things. You could end up missing out.

    It's been my experience that all women are crazy to some degree. We are emotional creatures and think with our hearts. Some just might be off the scale crazy, will key your car, stalk you and have emotional breakdowns that would even scare Charles Manson. Stay clear of those ladies..

    Don't assume all single or divorcees are broke. Some of us have really good jobs, a budget, goals and a plan. Don't be afraid to ask those hard questions. It can tell you a lot about a person.

    I agree with not getting involved with the kids until you know where everything is going.

    Many of you guys have some bad experiences and a lot of single mom bashing. Some people just don't click, no matter how much both try. No matter who's right or wrong. If you go into it with negative thinking, then you'll have a negative experience. If you can't keep an open mind, then don't even attempt. You'll be wasting your time and her time.

    The life of a woman is a balancing act, whether it's your kids, her kids or both of your kids.. A good woman is going to bend and flex to make sure everyone has what they need – time, attention, a meal, a roof over their heads, affection, laughs and what she can with the wants. Morals of our society has been a little skewed, but if you know what you're looking for, you can find it.

    Good luck to you all and finding what makes your world complete!

    • The problem here is that men have always and always will get the blame for a failed marriage. Marriage is nothing but legal slavery for any man out there. Its not worth it, and not only is it not worth it there clearly are no incentives for any man to marry anymore. The statistics are clearly against him. If you are a man who likes gambling then get married because thats what it is. It doesnt matter if a woman has a career or not because most women are like chameleons they change problematic af on there emotional states all the time. It has an effect on what they want and need and this changes . Well with these changes comes the problem society and culture has changed . Women have put themselves in the situation where they are today, they did it to themselves. You are going to see false rape cases going up. you are going to see alot more unhappy women out there than ever before, simply because women and most of them donot have there own mental ability to be happy with themselves and to be honest with themselves. Most women marry for one thing and one thing only security. When a woman works and the man works when the divorce comes which most of the time it does. What she has worked for in her mind all of it is hers, but what he has worked for is half hers. They say they wanted equality, but this is not equal. Today women are earning a substantial amount of money and are capable of it also. And when they have to give up or pay spousal support or alimony which there is a growing number of this happening guess who is complaining. Women have it in there minds that someone owes them, no matter what. Ive seen it time and time again. When the laws change and everyone is on an equal footing and I do mean equal footing and women stop using the golden uterus to get what they want and develop some self respect you will see marriage get to what it is supposed to be, but until then HAPPY NO MARRAIGE.

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