Slut shaming is just another way of calling out attention whores, and it's a good thing

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to draw your attention to a BRAND NEW, truly horrifying trend currently sweeping across the cultural milieu:

bawd SHAMING

What is bawd-shaming? bawd-shaming is when a young woman (or man) calls out another woman for dressing in an overtly and inappropriately sexual way. bawd-shamers strenuously object to living in a culture where young women are sexualized at earlier and earlier ages, and dislike existing in a social milieu that requires them to measure their own worth in terms of their sexuality.

Hey girls…. did you know… you open a book… not your legs?

Now that right there is a completely OUTRAGEOUS suggestion. Open a book? What?!? You mean offer something of value to the world that doesn't involve breasts and ass? Goodness! Why?

What bawd-shamers are doing, in actual fact, is calling out attention prostitutes.  They ridicule young girls who put their sexuality on display for public consumption, because those loose girls are creating a climate in which ALL girls are obligated to display their sexuality for public consumption.  And quite rightly, lots of young men and women are calling "bullshit".

There really are two separate issues with regards to bawd-shaming. One concerns sexual activity – young women who are sexually active (or even rumoured to be) can get bawd-shamed. However, you can't tell by looking at someone whether they are sexually active.

This is more of a public health issue. Young girls (like boys) DO NOT WANT to live in a world that includes expectations that they should be sexually active at a young age because "everyone else is doing it". As soon as one 14 year old girl starts giving out blowjobs behind the school, the other girls have to live in a world where that becomes an expectation, a possibility, and obviously, they push back against that.

While it's theoretically possible that some 14 year old girls are perfectly capable of having mature and responsible sex and are capable of dealing with the emotional and physical implications of early sexuality, most are not. And they do not want to live in a world that says they SHOULD be.

And let's not leave boys out of this conversation. The idea that somehow every 14 year old boy looks at his female contemporaries and thinks, "hell yeah, all I really want is a blowjob" is a really pernicious lie, and one of the perfectly valid reasons that feminists are accused of hating men and boys.

Boys are just as interested in romantic, emotionally connected relationships as girls are. The idea that they are all monsters who see women only in terms of sexuality denies boys a very real part of their humanity, and ironically makes it even harder for them to connect to young women as human beings. Romeo didn't want to screw Juliet. He LOVED her. He was prepared to die for that love. He DID die for love. But seen through the man-hating goggles of feminism, Romeo was just a cad trying to get laid.

So that's one part of bawd-shaming: resisting the idea that it's normal or healthy or desirable for young men and women to value one another only in terms of sexuality. When a certain percentage of very young men and women are sexually active, they make it difficult for ALL young men and women by setting expectations for sexual behavior far too high.

And they get scolded by their peers for that, and rightfully so.

The second part of bawd-shaming has to do with SIGNALLING sexual availability, even if you are not, in fact, sexually active. Girls who walk around with their breasts on display, wearing short skirts and tons of make-up are specifically looking for attention of a sexual nature.

It's no different than carrying an Hermes handbag or wearing Louboutin shoes with their distinctive red soles or flashing a Cartier watch. You invite people to make assumptions about your class and wealth and status and you signal your group affiliations to other people. Pretty much every good in the world that is not a straight up commodity is sold on that premise: that people will assume things about you because you wear X or you drive Y or you drink Z.

Let's go back to Sabrina. She does not want to live in a world where her sexuality is the principle marker of her value, or something that is available for public consumption. Put your boobs IN your shirt.

The fact that bawd-shamers are largely other girls is a testament to the fact that young men and women have been essentially abandoned by the adults who surround them. Their single mother parents are so caught up in attention whoring themselves, they fail to notice their daughters and sons struggling to cope with a culture that insists on their early sexualisation and then provides them with no tools to navigate or understand the implications of that sexuality.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2263312/Shameless-mother-faces-Twitter-storm-Channel-4-sees-daughter-wild-binge-drinking-tour-Kavos.html

Shona Sibery (remember her) KNEW her daughter should not be wearing the uniform of a prostitute at 14 years of age, but decided drinking wine and letting it pass was the most reasonable response.  And guess what? Shona wouldn't step up the plate and help her daughter understand what clothing is appropriate for a 14 year old, but her daughter's peers certainly DID. Poor little Flo got bawd-shamed for dressing like, well, a bawd.  By other girls who DO NOT WANT to live in a world where it is okay for a 14 year old to wear enough make-up for bozo the clown, gold hootie shorts and a sheer panelled shirt.

Shona should have been the one to explain that to Flo, her daughter, but the Chardonnay beckoned, so too bad so sad for Flo. Flo's peers did the job quite nicely.

When young women actively resist a culture in which all women are viewed only in terms of the public display of their sexuality, they are helping to create a world in which women can be valued for a myriad of qualities and not just sexuality.

And for that, they should be applauded.

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  1. 11 years ago
    happycrow

    But comrade! You're not liberated unless you're blowing six teenage boys per week! Fulfill your feminist quota, comrade!!

    //it's getting to where it's almost not even fun to mock any more. Too easy.

  2. 11 years ago
    Clover

    The thing is, one girl dressing like a ‘bawd', or even scanty clothing becoming the norm, doesn't mean anybody else has to follow suit. I've been on both ends of the spectrum, from being sexually active at 14 and going out in leather miniskirts and crop tops, to hanging out with friends in floor-length skirts and duffle coats. It's never netted me any unwanted attention, and I've never had trouble finding a respectful boyfriend. The thing that really makes provocative dressing dangerous is that most girls these days have nothing to offer *but* their bodies. I think the reason I've never been bawd shamed is because anybody who talks to me will realise my body is the least of what I have to offer.
    Raise your child to be an interesting worthwhile human being, and they'll be able to get where they want, wearing what they like.

  3. 3 years ago
    Pier-Luke Vigneault

    Omg the article does not even comprehend what bawd shaming is and the lines between that and encouraging hypersexualisation. This is trash!

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