That office chair you're sitting on? It can kill you by shooting a metal rod up your ass.

That office chair you're sitting on? It can kill you by shooting a metal rod up your ass.

Why do you needlessly endanger your life and your anus by using this kind of technology?

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    fat frick.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      that pic in OP involved an Asian woman. When the part that contains the pressurized gas is damaged, it doesn't take much weight to cause it to blow up.

      And thanks to the competence crisis deliberately caused by DEI initiatives, chairs will be getting less reliable and secure, not more.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        It seems unlikely to involve an Asian woman considering the water mark. seems more likely it was a fat Russian lol

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          look at how even and new the floor paneling is, the lack of garbage along the baseboard, the yellow cord tied precisely right to secure the cover for the damaged armrest. I find it more likely the image made it to a russian website where it acquired the watermark, possibly years after the incident pictured.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        the pic is fake, senpai

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >And thanks to the competence crisis deliberately caused by DEI initiatives,
        I don’t think the factories churning these pieces of shit out care about the “diversity” of their workers. The problem is the continued existence of poorgays. Always has been and always will be.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >that pic in OP involved an Asian woman.
        It did not and that was actually assassination attempt in chi-nah that involved real gun round installed in chair.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >assassination attempt in chi-nah that involved real gun round installed in chair
          nah, it just backfired

          [...]

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          the burn mark on the floor has me wondering

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        the simple solution is to stop buying literal who Chinese brands

        I myself buy office chairs (not computer chairs) specifically marketed for big and tall people. they are huge leathery plush chairs and usually have maximum weight limits. double what you will find on traditional garbage computer chairs, meaning they last way longer.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >And thanks to the competence crisis deliberately caused by DEI initiatives,
      I don’t think the factories churning these pieces of shit out care about the “diversity” of their workers. The problem is the continued existence of poorgays. Always has been and always will be.

      >I don’t think the factories churning these pieces of shit out care about the “diversity” of their workers
      You didn't understand the post.

      The Chinese factories churning out shitty chairs do it because the Chinese do not value infividual human lives the way White people do.

      Western chair manifacturers will gradually produce worse and worse quality because there will be less and less white people around to care, and companies hire based on how non-white workers are rather than on how competent. Just like train derailments weren't really a thing for a long time and now they happen every few weeks.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >companies hire based on how non-white workers are rather than on how competent
        shhhh you're not allowed to say that part out loud

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        why did you give me a (You), you obese tard frick. here have one back

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >Just like train derailments weren't really a thing for a long time and now they happen every few weeks.
        The peak of train derailments in the US was 1978 anon. The reason it's a problem is because a scumfrick bean counter decided if they only used the bare minimum amount of workers and put them on insane schedules you can squeeze out pennies more.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          without mass-immigration from 3rd world countries (which was instituted as government policy via the Hart-Celler Act in 1965) there would be less competition on the labor market, leading to better pay and better working conditions, and therefore increased safety.

          We need to crack down on mass-immigration and the people who advocate for it, and we must no longer tolerate any circumvention of the 1790 Naturalization Act.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            The steady dismantling of labor unions has done more to suppress wages than immigration, considering mass migrants mostly get low-income jobs that otherwise would go unfilled. You can see that this was true since during coof lockdowns and immediately afterward there were sharp supply and service issues. Trucking had a similar problem - it wasn't an overabundance of workers, it was that mot shipping companies were running on skeleton crews, anticipating a switch to automated trucks and not expecting a sudden 10x increase in shipping.
            There's a lot of problems caused directly by immigration but these dumbfrick nothingburgers ain't it chief. You're getting mad at the wageslaves and not the fatcat fricker making your life worse, intentionally.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >mass migrants mostly get low-income jobs that otherwise would go unfilled
            no, the jobs would simply start paying better and promise better working conditions. That's why every time immigration levels go down, economists sound the alarm that wages aren't being suopressed enough:
            https://m.independent.ie/business/jobs/not-enough-migrants-arriving-to-keep-pay-down-central-bank-38356212.html

            In western Europe, mass-immigration specifically started because employers hater having to offer their workers high wages and good working conditions due to labor shortage in the aftermath of WW2:
            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gastarbeiter

            Moreover, if all those migrants left the country, it would free up massive amounts of housing, causing a massive crash in real estate value, which would make it possible once again for average people to own homes.

            >You're getting mad at the wageslaves and not the fatcat fricker making your life worse
            Wrong.
            I hate the rich industrialists who lobby for mass-immigration, I hate the corrupt politicians who institute it, and I hate disgusting leftist subhuman bootlickers who defend these policies.

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Great, now you gave me a new fear.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      just lie down while computing

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        that rig on the right looks nice, I might buy this

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          sounds like a fast way to muscle wastage

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            and bed sores

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            The easiest way to pass is by becoming either so morbidly obese or so anorexically thin that gender ceases to have any meaning.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Looks kinda comfy, but I don’t think I’d be able to use it for work.
          I feel the urge to stand up every 30 minutes or so and it would be annoying having to wiggle out from under that.
          Also I would get sore sitting like that

          Pairing it with a recliner might be kino though, offers better support and ergonomics.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          it won't turn you into an asian girl

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        That's a dude, isn't it.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          average programmer

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          honest companies go the extra mile to make their photo shoots more realistic

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          the one on the right? yeah

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah that's a dude on the left I thought I was pretty obvious.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          No it's not. Visit a psychiatrist.

          average programmer

          the one on the right? yeah

          it won't turn you into an asian girl

          >girl

          Fricking have a nice day, you vile trannoid piece of shit. You deserve nothing more than that, subhuman trash.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Just lie while computing

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        does it come with the girl?

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >girl

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous
        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          as if sitting is so much better

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    No, chairs typically have a metal plate to prevent this exact problem.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      The piston can shoot through it as it were paper. It has the power of an anti-materiel rifle.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      point and laugh hahah, this anon doesn't into pressure.
      that metal plate is also going into your ass, after it has been shattered like the shell of a grenade. if there's enough oxygen in the gas mix, the resulting heat can also cause any flammable part of the chair to spontaniously combust

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Office chair users BTFO!

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      What do you sit on lol

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        A chair with 4 legs?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Besides a wiener hahahahah (just thought of that joke after posting)

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    this doesn't happen if you don't have a shitty chink office chair, and judging by the fact that the pic has a Russian watermark, this is exactly what is is.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >this doesn't happen if you don't have a shitty chink office chair
      99% of the office chairs in the world are shitty chink office chairs, though.

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    off topic

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      office chairs are technology

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >game has environmental storytelling

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    how worried should I be if I'm still using the same amazon-bought office chair since 2015 from some rando company and the listing for it no longer exists

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >9 years old cheapo chink chair
      prepare your anus

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        If they use regular air instead of non-flammable gases in the cylinder, the chair will catch fire on top of pulverizing your posterior. That's why this is against the safety regulations in most countries.

        A chair with a decent cylinder that uses the correct mixture of gases can still leave you anally annihilated if the cylinder is damaged.

        looks like I'm switching to my recliner. I liked the mesh back of my computer chair because florida heat sucks but I value my ass more than how cool I am in my room

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    schizo thread

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Always check the amount of weight your chair is designed for.
    If you're overweight and you use a chair not designed to acdomodate your fat ass, it might leave you pooper-pained and cavity-crippled for life.

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Non pneumatic office chairs exist, OP.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      any recommendations?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        AHREND

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >age 17, out orienteering in the woods close to my school during gym class
      >rough terrain and me and my friend were running out of time
      >jump down from a 1.2 m (4') rock to get to the next station
      >didn't spot the broken-off young tree that was blending in very well with the nearby bushes
      >get impaled by the 5 cm (2") diameter stick
      >it went through my pants, underwear, and inside me
      >the absolutely worst pain I have ever experienced
      >roared, collapsed, and just screamed on the ground
      >got help stumbling back to school
      >proceeded to shit blood
      >got checked up by the nurse, but didn't seem to be further internal bleeding
      >it eventually healed on its own
      >years after: no sequelae
      my anatomy would have been absolutely shredded if I landed slightly differently. "lucky"...

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        thank for the meme arrow story chatgpt-kun

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    This is actually a genius idea, replacement car seats are cheap as frick.

  15. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    funny how everyone who posts about this only ever uses the one same exact image over and over and never show any other examples of this happening

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      there are more cases like this
      https://www.asiaone.com/woman-badly-injured-exploding-computer-chair

      https://www.sankakucomplex.com/2009/02/20/chair-kills-boy-by-anal-penetration/

      it's just that OP's pic has all that blood splattered everywhere which makes it look much more gruesome and fear-inducing

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Both debunked, the source is some troll's blog and isn't online anymore.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        OPs pic is from Boogie1488.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >my news source? Sankaku Complex

  16. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >you should be afraid of this thing that happened to 6 people in total over a 60 years period
    no.

  17. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Most chairs have a metal plate between the pressure canister and the seat cushion, so this isn't going to happen unless you skimped and bought a knockoff.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      + they have the locking arm above that plate, a hinge and another plate above that.

  18. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >he still uses an office chair

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      frick off, you might as well slip and bang your head on the desk

  19. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    god i wish that was me

  20. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    problem solved

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Gaben's new throne

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >kills both ur anuses

  21. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    For real? someone died?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Died? No. Coomed? Yes.

  22. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Computer chairs are still an unsolved problem. They're either stiff add or break after a year.

  23. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      is that tay sway?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I ordered this from snakeclamp, because frick that chinesium crap on amazon. It's going to clamp to my metal bedframe and hover my iPad above me while I fap to my NAS porn and then read my isekai on mangadex.

  24. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    for me it's falling asleep and astral projecting to my computer

  25. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
  26. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      how did I never think of this

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      how did I never think of this

      projectors have annoying loud fans

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I need something like this.. I'm so weak and tired, bros....

  27. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Does it have a hole for poop socks?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      cool. I assembled a few of those from contractor job platforms. kind fun.

  28. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I'm terrified now.

  29. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      if your bed is computer then where do you bang your hot gf

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Her bed, duh. Make sure you coom on her pillow.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        the bed is the hot gf anon

  30. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Realistically that can only happen if they put oxygen (iirc) in the cylinder. You won't find a chair like that outside China where they're only bought because they go for like $5 or something.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      If they use regular air instead of non-flammable gases in the cylinder, the chair will catch fire on top of pulverizing your posterior. That's why this is against the safety regulations in most countries.

      A chair with a decent cylinder that uses the correct mixture of gases can still leave you anally annihilated if the cylinder is damaged.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Don't dive on chair from upper floor, got it thx anon

  31. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >that burn mark on the floor
    This looks more like a snow Black person who has broken his office chair, deconstructed it afterwards, got hurt in the process, bandaged his bleeding clumsy hands and then smoked a lot sitting on the seat (which moved from the wheels to the floor), but he sucked at IQfy so much that he couldn't smoke without burning his floor too.
    This scenario is much more probable then your wet fantasy.

  32. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I legit fear that. still use office chair. I guess I am an irrational human being.

  33. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    German chairs have a steel plate underneath the gas spring.

  34. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Well if you have a good one, it shouldn’t shove a metal rod up your ass.

  35. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >termites eat at a leg
      >leg breaks
      >anon breaks his neck

  36. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Because it's comfortable and hasn't shot a metal rod up my ass yet.
    Did you know that by having a floor there's a chance the floor could collapse?

  37. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >2024
    >He doesn't have an Aeron

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      do you have an aneros too

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I love my aeron so much, it is just... an orgasmic experience sitting down in it. The first time I sat down in mine I came in my pants, and a lot too. It was seeping through my underpants.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        On second thought I won't buy used

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Cute.

  38. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >buying a special chair to facilitate using a bulky, immobile computer instead of choosing a mobile form factor to begin with
    Abandon desktops and laptops. Embrace Maid Computers.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      this is the stupidest fricking meme on this board. I don't care if it's ironic

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        It's not a meme and it's not ironic. It's a schizo that showed up 2 years ago and is the only guy trying to force it since then.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          I want one Black person

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        It isn't ironic. If OP was standing and using a sensible form factor, his ass wouldn't have been violated by a malfunctioning chair.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      why do maids need to write computer programs?
      if they can write code why do they still work as maids?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        probably trans issues

  39. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    have you tried not being fat?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Not a reasonable option

  40. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I recently bought an expensive TV and I wanted to try it as a computer monitor. I had my cabinet maker friend whip up a table that slides over the couch and sits at the perfect height and angle for mouse and keyboard use.

    I used to get a sore lower back from sitting on a computer for too long. I just spent almost an entire week's worth of waking hours sitting on this thing with no discomfort.

    It's perfect bros. This is the way. Frick computer chairs. Frick computer desks. Couchchads rise up.

  41. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I use an old boring dining chair.
    At work I'm forced to use a gas chair, though. I just hope this doesn't happen to me.
    Sitting on a gas cylinder capable of exploding and shooting a metal rod into your ass just for the convenience of height adjustment doesn't sound like a good idea even it the probabilty is tiny.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      something tells me they either sit down HARD or constantly turn back and forth, this shit is so rare

  42. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    lose weight

  43. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
  44. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    it's so common that this has been the only pic of its kind for the past decade

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      see

      there are more cases like this
      https://www.asiaone.com/woman-badly-injured-exploding-computer-chair

      https://www.sankakucomplex.com/2009/02/20/chair-kills-boy-by-anal-penetration/

      it's just that OP's pic has all that blood splattered everywhere which makes it look much more gruesome and fear-inducing

  45. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Little does the chair know I'm a gay who can fist himself :3

  46. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I prefer the wooden chair that's older than me to any of the office/gaming chairs I've used before

  47. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    chair in OP pic was compressed with air, in america the only ones around are compressed with inert gases so no explosion will happen

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      an explosion can still occur, you just won't be engulfed in flames.

  48. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Talk about going out with a bang (gay sex joke)

  49. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Sitting is the new smoking

  50. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I just buy oversized bean bags and my back is thankful for it, even jerking off is super comfy now

  51. 1 month ago
    baritone

    floorCHADS cant stop winning!

  52. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I once had my chair explode, it sounded like a gun going off below my arse however the iron spring the size of a thin coke can was directed down and between my legs. I don't buy the cheapest chairs now.

  53. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Because I want to die and it's objectively the best suicide method.

  54. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Now there is a solid metal square between the tube and the chair I doubt that'll break too.

  55. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    this wont happen if your seat plate goes over the cylinder, this had to have had some kind of bullshit hollow area for it to penetrate the seat foam

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I don't know of any chairs that don't come with the plate. Maybe the chair broke and the guy thought he'd get creative and paid with his butt.

  56. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    not my problem

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      needs fridge on one side and a bedroll on the floor

  57. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    This with it's soft padded covering is the ultimate chair. My back pain has vanished.

  58. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    If you think about it, how is this any different from driving, flying or taking a shower?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      has your table fallen yet?

  59. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    ive been sticking metal rods up my ass for a couple years now to build up a tolerance on the off chance this happens to me

  60. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    don't care still sitting on my 599$ manager chair

  61. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    my 20 year old chair lost all pneumatics and doesnt hold height anymore. i literally duct taped piece of ply wood to keep it perma at the highest level
    can it still explode?

  62. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Yeah I know about it, but who cares?
    It's not like I'm going to throw it out and replace it with a fricking wooden chair.

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