Give 2,500 fucks a minute with ‘The Fuck Saw’

Here's a product that will solve your embarrassing problem rather efficiency.

At some point in your married life, fisting isn’t as romantic as it used to be. But your life partner still needs pleasing, so what now?

An actual product being sold for $169 + shipping will solve your problem. That’s a lot of money for a gadget, but it can hammer hidey holes at an impressive 2,500 strokes per minute.

Quotes from the sales page

The Fuck Saw is a very special hand held fucking machine that can fuck really hard using the motion and six different speeds of a reciprocating saw.

I don’t think “very special” is the most apt description for something that will “fuck you really hard” at six different speeds, but OK.

You hold it like a gun, and drill into the ass or vagina with powerful and steady force.

Hold my sex toy like a gun? I wouldn’t have it any other way.

This sex machine is cool looking and hard core. The Fuck Saw supplies a great machine powered fuck.

To conclude, no other dildo will drill into your ass or vagina with 2500 SPM of powerful and steady force until your great fuck has been supplied. And what sales pitch can top that?

The store tags it as a best seller, which is not surprising.


The Fuck Saw store has since gone offline, but you can buy something called Hismith Adapter for Reciprocating Saw Sex Machine to Vac-U-Lock Dildo (see pic below) and make your own Fuck Saw. It’s even cheaper.

You also need a Vac-U-Lock dildo like 7 Inch Doc Johnson Vac-U-Lock F-Machine and Harness Compatible Dildo. Lastly, either raid the garage or get a BLACK+DECKER 20V MAX* Cordless Reciprocating Saw. When you aren’t using it to provide maximum fucks, you can repair things around your house.

Good luck!