6 unsexy reasons you would never want to be a male pornstar

Quick question: how many male porn stars can you name off the top of your head? Don’t say John Holmes. He’s dead—doesn’t count. Don’t say Ron Jeremy, either. He’s a fat, hairy, old guy with a mustache. He’s still a ‘star’ the same way Chaz Bono is still a women. Take away those two, and who ya got? Nobody? Nothing?

Well, don’t feel bad, because you’re not the only one. The term “male porn star” is kind of an oxymoron anymore, anyway. This is because being a guy in the porn business isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. That’s right, we said it—getting paid to have sex on camera with countless hot girls is overrated, and we’ll tell you five reasons why.

You won't be able to get it up and will have to resort to caverject injections

When your job depends on how often you can get it up, keep it up, and get it out in the span of about five minutes, it’s only natural to start looking for enhancements to boost your performance. There’s no shame in it—it’s porn, not baseball. The penis, despite our best wishes, is not a machine. Science hasn’t gotten that far…yet (cue the diabolical laughing).

Unfortunately for a lot of porn actors, Viagra and Cialis are only the beginning. Just like anything, it’s possible for your body to eventually build up a tolerance for magic boner pills. First, taking just one pill doesn’t work, so you take two. Then double-popping stops working, so you start taking three…and so on and so on until you’re legitimately afraid that you’re ingesting enough artificial enzyme suppressants to detonate a blood vessel.

It’s at this point where Caverject injections come into play. As in, the next logical step to being able to perform your duties as a male porn actor is to stick a needle into your wang on a regular basis and pumping it with chemicals so it can keep smiling for the camera. Ever seen the inside of a heroin addict’s elbow? It’s pock-marked with holes and dotted in little red welts from repeated needle injections. Now, we’re not saying that the same thing happens in this case with your dick, but for the sake of you’re sticking a freaking needle into your wiener, that’s exactly what we’re saying.

STDs. Yes.

Obvious one, here. Although the adult film industry isn’t as unclean as you might assume, you’re still gambling against the house with the health & vitality of your wiener every time you decide not to use protection—just like in real life, except with way worse odds.

For instance, a whopping 66% of all performers are believed to have herpes, alone. It’s not AIDS, but you still don’t want that shit.

So the simple solution would be to just make sure you wrap it whenever the camera starts rolling, right? Well no, actually. Even if you do want to be safe and use protection, odds are you’ll be persuaded not to, because sex with condoms doesn’t sell as well as sex without condoms. Condoms, as it turns out, put a real damper on the whole fantasy shtick.

So even though it’s admirable of you to insist on keeping yourself and the people you’re working with safe, you’ll have a heck of a time getting as much work as the guy who will work without condoms. And it’s not like you can afford to sit back on your morals and let that other guy who’s willing to bareback it take all your gigs, because…

The money is shit

On average, a male porn actor gets paid roughly half to a third of what a female actress gets. You'll see maybe $200 for a shoot. One thing about being a guy in the porn business—the director doesn’t really care about you that much.

Now, if we’re talking about gay porn, the dynamic obviously changes, but we’re not. We’re talking about most of the porn that’s out there—the kind that caters to heterosexual men. This demographic tunes in for the naked girl, not the naked guy.

The director knows this, too, which makes you only a half-notch above the guy holding the boom mike in terms of set hierarchy. Complicating matters further, there are actually more male porn actors in the business than female ones, which means you can be replaced pretty easily the second you start griping about institutional sexism, or preferential treatment, or the fact that cameras are ready to roll and now there’s a crudely carved Halloween pumpkin in the scene that wasn’t there a second ago, and it’s the middle of April.

It takes the fun out of sex

Not to go all Father Flannigan on you, but how long can you have sex for a living before having sex is no longer sexy? But seriously, this is more of a common sense thing than a morals thing—how many random, strictly-business, orgasm-faking, may-or-may-not-but-probably-does-contain-herpes veganas do you have to be in before your libido is totally desensitized?

Sex works on your brain the same way any stimuli does—whatever you associate it with becomes what turns you on, and it’s safe to assume that being a porn actor generally means you get to be associated with some pretty perverted stuff. Your “tolerance”, so to speak, for erotica gets cranked up to the point where you need foreign objects and at least one gimp before you even start to feel a tingle in your pants.

Then again, maybe we’re just being naïve assuming all guys who got into the business of being paid to have sex with many different women also intend to keep a girlfriend/wife on the side specifically so they could deal with that conundrum.

You have to have sex with unattractive women, too

Just because you're a guy doesn't mean you want to stick it anywhere, especially when you've already stuck it to hundreds of attractive women. Yet no matter how much of an aversion you have to certain expressions of the feminine form (to be gentlemanly about it), you have to perform and do it with passion. Don't expect that you can just "take a pass" when it suits you. You absolutely don't want to and can't afford to be known in the industry as someone who is flaky or lazy or difficult to work with.

There is no retirement plan

Adult film actors are sort of like professional wrestlers—the Vince McMahonian kind. Most basically drift from gig to gig and live shitty paycheck to shitty paycheck in a world where very little is guaranteed in terms of job security. And the job itself isn’t really conducive to long-term careers.

Actors get paid by the scene, and that’s pretty much it. No long-term contracts, no royalties, no pension, and damn sure no 401(k). And good luck trying to lobby for any of those benefits, seeing as how no union currently exists for porn actors.

Being a porn actor is about as marketable a skill as being a bank robber if you’re looking to transition into another career, and they’re asking you what you’ve been doing for money the past five years of your life. Umm…I can lift a dumbbell with a string attached to my penis and swing it around like a pendulum while getting spanked with a bullwhip. Does that count as multitasking?

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  1. 11 years ago
    prashantkumar

    hi i m prashant kumar and i want to become gay porn star and i m so sexy gay please if you want my photo send mr please email.id

    • 11 years ago
      steps

      If you wanna be a pornstar, start filming your own amateur videos and sending them out to recording agencies, what you will need 1. Yourself 2. A dick 3. Cant be frick ugly 4. A woman(Tough one by the looks of these comments) 5. a video camera Make an impressive collage of videos, make sure to be very expanse, Anal/bj/deepthroat ETC to show your skills and such, then send it out to private agencies, network at Sex Expos. and upload your videos to free hosting sites such as pornhub to gain popularity, if you wanna be a pornstar. You have to build it. I tried it, shits not half bad, but not what it's cracked out to be ill tell ya that much. And sex does get very dis-interesting after a couple months.

  2. 11 years ago
    Rakesh

    I want porn star only sex with girl

  3. 11 years ago
    Greg F

    I understand there are risk in everything we do in life. Please help me to be a pornstar iam 6.5 and 220pds iam51 but look 38 or less well fit in good health. The girls say iam good looking and a tall glass of water. Ive been with thee and two girls at once. I last a long time. iam fun funny and out going girls and guys try and pick me up. younger ones are really attracted to me.

  4. 11 years ago
    chris t

    i was wondering what the real yearly income for a male pornstar would be i really love sex im passionate i have complete confidence of my characteristics in bed i love sex alot i love women i want to work for porn hub and be a famous star the most famous im good looking skinny i get hard when ever i want. although i have a concern about stds i dont want stds at all

  5. 11 years ago
    ROFLCOPTERS

    Wow I'm cracking up here at all the people in the comments begging for someone to 'teach them' how to be a porn star. I don't know which is funnier the guys who can't spell and are obviously from out of America or the guy that says hes 58 and wants to branch into porn. No ones gonna hire an old frick for porn rofl this shit just reeks of sadness

    • 11 years ago
      ReeferChiefer

      ^^^^^^^^ LMFAO!!!! so true roflcopters. You can tell that these are all probably societies rejects, but they're different . . . they believe in themselves. whelp you can't fix stupid isn't that what they say? Who the hell asks where to be a porn star? if you where meant to have a porn career you'd have one.

  6. 11 years ago
    kev

    Even tough being a male porn star to have sex with those girls sound very nice.. injections and taking pills are a NO for me.. guess we'll have to just bang some bawds then 😛

  7. 11 years ago
    Harry

    I want to become a porn star.I m boy want to sex with girls.Plsss someone help me

  8. 11 years ago
    Nota IndianFuck

    HOLY FRICKING SHIT so many desperate fricks 100% of you will never be a pornstar. Most of you are probably 60 year old virgins. Go out and find someone, or at least find a prostitute. I have lost all faith in humanity -_-

  9. 11 years ago
    Dafuq

    if you wanna be a fricking pornstar quite b***hing and start with each other right? Wait no all yall will prolly discriminate against one another but you all have the same gals in mind right? so stop b***hing in porn you dont "choose" the girl or guy so like i said frick each other simple easy. got it good stop b***hing!!
    AND another fricking thing. Why fricking pick on people who are out of this fricking country and obviously everyone else on here have a chance even the old dude -.- its not about what you guys like its about what he entertainment industry thinks yo guys like so if they want a 60 yr old guy pumping and 18 year old girl theyll have it done and b***hes please none of you all have what it takes to even be a man if you have to insult others to make your dick seem a bit bigger

  10. 11 years ago
    Jimmy

    On reflection, I don't think being a PORN-STAR would be a great choice,in fact the money for a male looks like shit considering all the energy having sex, and per-longing the act. So you can stick this career as far as you can up your arse. It looks like the females get the better end of this career getting between $1000 to $5000 a day while the poor old/or young male gets only $1500 per week probabley having to do many scene's as well.

  11. 11 years ago
    PookaStarr

    Okay time to get touchy here... I am a boy yes. Just the cross dressing overly cute can-beg-for-a-cookie out of your purse cute. But, I see everyone bashing these illiterate American and forging guys. And for what? They just wanna do what their genetic male testosterone instincts tell them To do? I understand its in a males natural instinct to frick anything that walks, just like females and having children or being a mother. But, in the end sex isn't as good for males as it is for females. I say let them fantasize about having sex with young tight skinny girls with no meat curtians. Just don't bash them,call them names, question their virginity, and espically don't tell them to get laid... cause if they are as dispicable as you all assume then how the hell are they going to get laid? I mean Cmon ladies... me.... I am 6ft4 drop dead beautiful. I wear women's cloths much better then most women. My penis is 7inches. My hair is long and brunette my eyes blue. My body shaved of all body hair. And guess what? Only someone special can touch this. I am quite happy being a photographer. Guys... if you wanna be a porn star don't let anyone tell you to do otherwise. Go and be a porn star. Half the time I am staring at the dick and not the girl anyways.

  12. 11 years ago
    LAUGHING TO DEATH

    HOLY SHIT, I'm going to die laughing reading these comments. especially people bragging about 5-8 inch totally average dicks or being over 50 years old lol. NOONE and I mean NOONE commenting on this page will be a pornstar lol. This is either so funny its sad or so sad its funny I cant decide which :p.

  13. 11 years ago
    erik fread

    i want to become a porn start, i want to have sex with girl

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