Why is Women's Romance so poorly written?

Been reading some women's romance novels recently to fuel my hatred of modern women, and I want to hang myself. The prose, the characters, the dialogue; it's all the worst I've ever read. I know that these books are mostly just porn for women, but damn, can't publishers find some authors who don't suck to write these books?

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  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Been reading some men's novels recently to fuel my hatred of modern men, and I want to hang myself. The prose, the characters, the dialogue; it's all the worst I've ever read. I know that these books are mostly just porn for men, but damn, can't publishers find some authors who don't suck to write these books?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The convos and thoughts are the worst imo. I read the love hypothesis and the constant "Ohnoes, the teacher is that guy from yesterday?!?!?! Frick.... my.... life" is super gay. Worse than porn convo, idk how women can stomach that.

      >Bu bu bu but what about MEN!!!!
      silly

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Clearly not seeing that trash exists for all and OP made a false equivalence

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >But men do it too!!!!!
          No I get it, you are just very pathetic. God forbid you ever mention something about women's porn being shit as frick without you gays showing up to make it about le men as well. Silly goose moment

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Kek. Cope harder, homosexual.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I accept your concession but she s not gonna tell her gay bestie to frick you bro.
            Make your own thread if you want to whine about le men 🙂

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Because it’s slop just like funkopops

        You underestimate how little of a bullshit filter women have

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The vital difference between slop written by men and slop written by women is that the latter is empowered by media and the public. Any criticism you make towards a work made by a woman can be considered offensive, independently of its quality or lack of thereof. Unless the woman has the wrong opinion, of course.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        So Steven Spielberg making a blockbuster film adaptation of pic related isn't empowerment by the media and public? Ok there, smooth-brain.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Any criticism you make towards a work made by a woman can be considered offensive, independently of its quality or lack of thereof
        Who cares?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This is a YA book. Congrats on comparing grown ass women to teenage men.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >no u
      breasts or gtfo

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Isn't the target audience for this gamer girls?

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I doubted how bad it was, so I grabbed a random book in Costco by a woman and started flipping around looking for a graphic sex scene. I timed myself using my watch. Thirteen seconds.

    How did we get here? Can you imagine copies of Hustler between the bulk seasonal dresses and resin planting pots?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Even normies have recently started calling out "book girls" for consuming nothing but what is practically pornography in book form.

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Some people might pile on you for this, but I agree. I went into Icebreakers with the thought of “Girls are crazy for this, might as well see why.” I looked up the sample and here you go, this isn’t even the full thing. My impression is it needed one more edit.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It reads like the beginning to a preachy and bitter powerfantasy. A constant undertone of "ugh that b***h".

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      that was so bad I had to make some attempt at fixing it just to wash the taste out of my mouth.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        nice

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I can tell this was written by a moid. Geuinely awful. You stripped all the detail and replaced it with verbose, dry and technical language.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      https://i.imgur.com/0Easz1l.png

      that was so bad I had to make some attempt at fixing it just to wash the taste out of my mouth.

      Neither of these are bad. The only difference is tone.

      The original sounds like it was being narrated by a teenage girl (which seems to be the intended effect of the author). The rewrite sounds like it’s being narrated by a character who’s a cynical, autistic shut-in.

      I think the rewrite focuses too much on language and not enough on context and tone.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        can I get an example of a teenage girl sort of tone that's generally considered to be well written? I'm wracking my head trying to figure out how I can match the tone better without giving up the language, and I'm coming up short.
        bonus points if it's still in first person present, I've never seen anything read well that is and I'd like that bias challenged

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          She really shouldn’t have said “Coach Aubrey Brady” because it implies unfamiliarity—she should have just started with “Coach Brady.” And used Aubrey later if she’s giving a longer description of the woman.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I miss when porn novels had covers that made it obvious that they were for adults. The new generation of Tiktok porn books have covers that you’d expect from a softcore teen romance. When you see them in stores, they’re usually placed in the YA section with books that are actually appropriate for 13 year olds. I don’t mind kids reading books with heavy topics, but it rubs me the wrong way that what is essentially porn sneaks its way into the kid’s section.

        I wish I could write like a teenage girl so I could become a bestseller as well.
        Here, let me try:

        Unlike other girls, I actually don’t have daddy issues. Mind-blowing, I know.
        What I do have is a severe case of mommy issues after Mother Dearest packed her bags and went out to explore the world one day, leaving li’l ol’ me at home to fend for myself … when I was two years old … alone … inside a crib … inside a locked room … for three days straight.
        Yeah, mom won’t be getting a Mother day card from me anytime soon.
        The only reason I survived—the only reason—was because the neighbor, Mr. Peterson, got so annoyed with my incessant crying that he broke down the door and aimed to snuffle me to death with a pillow. He only changed his mind and called my dad to come pick me up after the smell of days-old shit coming from my crib made him gag—or at least that’s how Mr. Peterson likes to tell the story.
        He’s a weird cookie, that Mr. Peterson. Bless his crooked, shriveled up soul.
        Anywho, Dad rushed me to the hospital, and the police launched a manhunt—woman-hunt?—for my mom on grounds of criminal neglect. They never did find her, but they did find out she took a one-way ticket to the UAE and disappeared off the face of the planet from there.
        Why the UAE? I dunno, b***h probably found an oil sheik to simp for her plastic ass or something.
        … Lucky b***h.
        I wish I had an oil sheik to simp for me too. A six-foot-three, eagle-eyed billionaire with more money than sense, and who would take me in his strong arms and call me his “Habibi.” Wouldn’t that be swell?
        But nope, I’m stuck here in sunny California where I can either become a girlboss brain surgeon CEO of a Fortune 500 company … or a porn star. And if my grade is anything to go by, this girl ain’t gonna be bossing around anybody soon. Fan-fricking-tastic.
        I really need to work on my gag reflex, don’t I?

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          What a terrible cliche storm. You’d probably sell it.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      it's kinda cute when women get mad

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >I've been on edge since I woke up this morning with a hangover sent directly from the pits of hell
      this is awful imagery. if the story involved devils and demons and the author was trying to set the tone by using this phrase it could've been permissible. but that's not the story. if she wasn't a hack she would've described maybe the type of alcohol that caused the hangover, or the environment the MC was in where she was drinking, or maybe the people she was drinking with, all of those choices would have given some life to the character. but nope, pure generic "from the pits of hell"

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Men are better at everything including writing for and about women. Pic related.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Um source?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        The last time that was posted I think we determined it was written by a IQfy user who subsequently ropemaxxed.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >someone with prose of this quality still killed himself.
          Frick, I'm not going to make, it bros.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Frick. I'm actually impressed at that level of writing. RIP anon.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Frick. I'm actually impressed at that level of writing. RIP anon.

          A quick look through the archives and anon is incorrect, there is no mention of the author killing himself. Posted about 3 times in text form over the past year, and twice with the image, including within this thread. Anon who posted it last says he found the image on tumblr (which implies we have anons here who actually browse tumblr and crosspost here, which is not something I wish to dwell on)

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I'm legit impressed with how good this is, whenever I read some prose written by someone from here it always stinks of someone trying very hard to impress people but this is pure quality without going overboard.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I'm about 90% sure that this is the same author, and yes, he was a IQfy user. If it is the same dude I believe this was his only published work.

            https://imgur.com/a/ZCLsXFW

            dude definitely had a taste for period wlw stuff. If only he'd written literary fiction maybe he would have found success.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Why am I crying on a Saturday afternoon? Frick.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >And, heavens, we thought we knew death, were intimate with it, and there were so many funerals but people died better, and one at a time. It was melodrama, and vanity, to think of it now. We flirted with death, read any libretto, even old Gilbert had poor Yum Yum face the prospect of being buried alive. You poor devils though, death had you in a dark alley and then cut your throat, no foreplay.”
            >She was leaning against the wall, by the window. She ashed on the sill.
            >“The war then, sent you mad?” I asked, diffidently.
            “I wouldn’t say so. I’ve always been mad, it’s only that before last year, I could spend more time dancing with the fairy queen than Charon. Do you know those colliers on the Thames that are so heavy laden it takes only a snowfall to sink them? I suppose that was me, and Iwas foolish to venture into the snow unbidden. I won’t claim shellshock, I didn’t get blown up, but the boys... the boys apologized to us when they died, they apologized with their innards lying on their bellies: ‘I hate to do this to you, angels! Well done though!’ and we had done nothing save administer morphine and muck the bloody floors.”
            This nibba suicided after being rejected from five MFA programs. What the frick, what a waste.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >This nibba suicided after being rejected from five MFA programs. What the frick, what a waste.
            Where are you getting that from?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >le sad goose faec
            rope, homosexual

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I completely understand why MFA programs rejected him - his style is really anachronistic and would get workshopped to death by most programs. He should have just tried to go right to publication without trying to do a fricking MFA. Also damn reading this knowing he ended it hits hard:
            >I sat beneath a leafing tree rather than a budding one, with a scalpel, a little outside of Reims, and I tried for the happy dispatch. It was happy, you know. They say that when a fellow hangs himself or what have you, as he twitches at the end of the noose, he regrets it all and wants nothing more in the world than for the chair to be put back under him. Perhaps it was because I was particularly downcast, but my sole regret, at least then, was that I had not thought to get hold of a pistol.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >whenever I read some prose written by someone from here it always stinks of someone trying very hard to impress people

            Can you post some examples? I wanna do a little kekin'.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I’m fully erect. Holy shit.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This just reminds me that I need to find more good writing that has something else going on but then has significantly graphic smut in the middle of it. I need good prose to give a shit. A Feast Unknown was 10/10 chuckleworthy insanity with brief good interludes of incredibly erotic writing and I was shocked.

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    it's written by women for women, from smoothbrains for smoothbrains. women are so stupid it's unreal

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I've never really cared to read philosophy books on self-cultivation, but I kind of want to do that now. What are some good books to this end?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Frick I'm so sorry I meant to make this it's own thread

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      it's not philosophy as we'd call it, but i like 'the Miracle of Mindfulness' for that purpose. it's instructions for different kinds of meditation

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      KEEEEEEEEEEEEEK

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >why is normie book written for normies
    we just don't know, OP

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Men are the actual romantic sex.

    That's it, that's the answer. There's nothing else to say.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Yep. You don't to be red pilled to see that in 2024, year of our Lord, women are absolutely fricking obsessed over sex

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Males are parasites. You're as romantic as a leech.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        projection

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          100% of males grew in a placenta feeding off its mother like a tapeworm.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Gender war nonsense. All women fed of their mother's placenta. Motherhood is not parasitism. There is no alientation of self in being a mother or father, the alienation is your own doing if parenthood dispossesses you of your self and you come to regard your parental role as host to parasite rather than an actualisation of an essential and fully human station on life's way.

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Because it's wish fulfilment from the female perspective, women cringe just as hard with male written romances.

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Been watching some porn recently to fuel my hatred of modern men, and I want to hang myself. The storylines, the actors, the dialogue; it's all the worst I've ever seen. I know that these films are mostly just romance novels for men, but damn, can't porn companies find some people who don't suck to direct these films?

    No but seriously. Men, why do you jerk off to some freak in a spongebob costume?

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What I want to know is, how come there's so much goonfodder for men that involves degenerate stuff like farts and bestiality while most goonfodder for women is wholesome?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      yeah how come women dont really have this level of sexual autism going on? i think when women have fetishes its usually more about the dynamic between people rather than a fixation on a certain object (like a fart or belly fat or feet or ropes,etc). like when a woman is into being tied up, its usually not so much that shes fetishizing the ropes themselves but more the idea of someone being in control over her and her not being able to do anything. whereas a lot of guys have a more autistic visual fixation on the ropes

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Women like that exist, but they’re not writing the kind of smut that gets published. They’re writing fetish fics on AO3.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        look at the shit that gets posted on wattpad

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      rape is not wholesome

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >goonfodder for women is wholesome

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        disinformation image. metoo is about lies and false accusations

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        The female fists trying to convey an image of power but having the nails be bright red is just an hilarious image
        Those long nails would be broken with the first punch they throw, or the first tool they use. They are only good for typing passive agressive emails

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        If you're good women want you to touch their pussies 🙂

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Do women really flick their beans to this?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You could make a gameshow out of putting a bunch of these and make people guess if it's from women's literotica or an incel wish fulfilment fantasy

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      criticize it all you want, but once you tap the daddy/princess dynamic you'll be into some freaky shit no matter how ugly or weird you are

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >reduce your sexuality to infantile pantomime with morons
        Great life plan mate

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          that's a bit reductive.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        So same thing as guro?

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    op this is like making a thread on IQfy to critique porn videos

  14. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Kek imagine giving fanfiction tier titles to your novels

  15. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Are you moronic? The best romance novels in history have been written by women and that's because only women can write complex emotional romances. Men can't write good romance novels because all they know is lust, not love.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Read Death in Venice

  16. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I miss when porn novels had covers that made it obvious that they were for adults. The new generation of Tiktok porn books have covers that you’d expect from a softcore teen romance. When you see them in stores, they’re usually placed in the YA section with books that are actually appropriate for 13 year olds. I don’t mind kids reading books with heavy topics, but it rubs me the wrong way that what is essentially porn sneaks its way into the kid’s section.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I think one of things that got me into reading as a teen was realizing that I could pick up books talking about boobs
      and sex in my school library while any sign of a nipple on TV led to FCC fines and Congressional hearings, since braindead conservatives don't read and only get offended about books they're told to be offended about.

      And then it's shit like Harry Potter having a wizard school while IT and the sewer gangbang is ignored.

  17. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I prefer 80s "bonkbuster" novels those are beautifully written

  18. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    All genre fiction is badly written, if it were well written it would just be literature. The same applies to sci-fi and fantasy -- Gibson, Heinlein, Rowling etc. -- as it does kindle erotica and other women's nonsense. If you are not the target market of this particular genre of genre fiction, and that distance from the subject allows you to understand the poor quality of women's romance, then the true value of that understanding is not indulgent and shallow woman bashing, but applying yourself to the same crucible, to genre fiction which is not distant to your interests, and where you otherwise may fall into the same fault as the woman readers of women's romance. If it's not of literary merit then it's not worth your time. Ask yourself what are the genre fiction equivalents of women's romance that you have been wasting your limited life energies on, and how shall thou not do so in future.

  19. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I don't know how to tell you this, but women are literally moronic.

    You know how you'll be online and see someone say "Women are morons" and you'll think "heh yeah, women... they sure are silly sometimes"? That's not what it means. EVERYBODY knows that women are LITERALLY MENTALLY moronic.

  20. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Male porn (soft sci-fi about elf space waifus) isn't any better. Coomers gonna coom but only women refer to it as "romance." Call it what it is--hornslop for femgooners.

  21. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    men read and write this shit too, it's just not NY times bestseller. i'm not sure what that means though

  22. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Tiktok has completely ruined literature for young women. The algorithm consistently pushes literally just porn and covers it with cute pastel covers littered with flowers. The girls I know consistently like posts that say things like "I can't read it if it doesn't have spice!", spice being their dumb little term for porn. They also deacribe books purely in tropes than in actual substantial descriptions, like they're fanfiction. "A good enemies to lovers!" "Top 10 grumpy x sunshine books of 2023!", etc. It's just terrible.

    These girls never experienced reading fanfiction and now are through Booktok, or they literally never grew out of fanfiction or at least understood that published books are very different from fanfiction.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      they should stop enjoying things

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I think rather than that they should just learn to read good books. I honestly do not think it's crazy bad for some girl to read a trash romance novel but it needs to be balanced with really genuinely good literature. It's like eating fast food exclusively, I don't mind someone eating fast food sometimes but you should eat something healthy too otherwise you fricking destroy your body. but maybe that's my bias being a girl as well. i fricking hate seeing my friends read the trashiest shit and reccomend it to me.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      these stupid prostitutes are just basement dwelling hunchbacked porn addicts with a vegana

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I kinda want to see what "romance" books are being pushed to girls these days. I absolutely refuse to download TikTok . On Reddit, r/RomanceBooks is clearly just full of middle-aged women. Where do I look to see what books these girls read?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        youtube but you can start with colleen hoover, which is the biggest author name. they have youtube snark videos on her, maybe lolcow too.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        reddit skews older. youtube probably has a generational mix but most zoomettes are on instagram or, more likely, tik tok

  23. 3 weeks ago
    Anonynous

    >Been reading some women's romance novels recently to fuel my hatred of modern women, and I want to hang myself.
    Life's too short. Why do this?
    I hate women, so I choose to focus away from them.
    There are enough empowered women in virtually all games, movies and literature. (Simp Shakespeare comes to mind), when I find I'm reading feminism, I just change what I'm reading. If you want to be miserable and suffer, why not lift weights. Atleast Then you will be stronger for it, and won't want to have a nice day, zoomerkun.

  24. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    My girlfriend hates contemporary romance books but non stop reads Brienne Tarth/ Jaime Lannister fanfictions, and Severus Snape/ Hermione Granger.
    Sometimes Harry Potter/ Severus Snape and HP/ Voldemort

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Tell her that by insisting to consume media related to Harry Potter she is inherently fostering and supporting transphobic views. A true ally would not contribute to the popularity of the works of a TERF.

  25. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Some of them are pretty good.

  26. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I have a female friend who is one of the best writers I know IRL and when shopping her first manuscript to agents they universally responded that her plot needed to have a sexual or near sexual encounter for her main character within the first 45 pages or be reworked to involve murder or a conspiracy. Her original story was tight and pretty funny. After like 5 months of rejection she made a pen name and took a week to write something superficially similar about a woman lawyer who fricks all her clients and got 3 agents wanting to pitch it to publishers within 90 days. The serious book took another year to get any kind of traction with an agent. So the "women are smoothbrains" thing is what publishers think too. And frankly I'd also rather take a week to make something that will sell instead of years to make something that an agent tells me to turn into smut.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      That sucks, I’d like to read her original

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