why was the byzantine empire such a joke?

why was the byzantine empire such a joke?

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  1. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    God really hated them

  2. 5 months ago
    Solitaire

    God's wrath on the idolators.
    Direct analogue to idolatrous Israel of the Old Testament. Calling yourself after God's name while worshiping idols warrants special punishments.

    Mongols were also God's wrath on the muzzies. He didn't go far enough IMO

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      why does this feel dangerously close to the prosperity gospel?

      • 5 months ago
        Solitaire

        I don't know.
        Are you prepared to claim that the Old Testament sounds "dangerously close to the prosperity gospel"?
        Prosperity Gospel (which is a false doctrine) concerns individuals and their lives, not the lives of nations.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          It's exactly the same whether it is individuals or groups.
          >Believe in MY doctrine and you will personally become wealthy
          vs
          >Believe in MY doctrine as a group and you will become collectively wealthy
          Same. God doesn't cause economic or political hardship.
          >But the Bible said
          Bible is universally agreed upon to be written by multiple groups, many of which lacked a historical perspective on things. If a rat farted plague onto someone or a King was particularly dickish, it was because God willed it according to them. "We must not have prayed hard enough :(". Hardly a perspective you want to interpret literally.

          Political and economic events happen because of what various groups and individuals around the world do. Can religion influence things? Yes. Does God "abandon nations"? No, you moron.

          • 5 months ago
            Solitaire

            No one who kisses lifeless pictures does well as a society.
            I am sure even an atheist agrees.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      This. Reminder that the iconoclast emperors got the empire back on track before the iconodule Irene usurped the throne and held an illegitimate church council throwing making her idolatry official and condemning the empire to destruction. Her shameless power grab led the Pope to crown Charlemagne as the legitimate Roman Emperor. Veneration of icons was an innovation that arose in the decadence of Justinian's reign and the Hagia Sophia did not have any mosaics until the 9th century.

  3. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >even doe you are the most powerful Empire for most of history you are actually le hecking jokerino
    Reminder that literally all but the Ottoman Turks and Arab Caliphates lost to them in the end.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >the most powerful Empire for most of history
      Meds, immediately. This is not a joke.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >lost almost all of the balkans, but at least we forced the persians back to the status quo
      >lose all africa and middle eastern territories, but at least we stopped the arabs from taking constantinople
      >lose all of anatolia to the turks and southern italy to the normans, but at least we took back the coasts of anatolia
      >constantinople gets sacked by the crusaders, lose the entire empire but at least we got back the city after 60 years. oh and venetians are still there lol
      did these guys ever win in a way that wasn't just retaking a small chunk of the territory they had lost to an overstretched conqueror?

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >>lost almost all of the balkans, but at least we forced the persians back to the status quo
        Losing a war is not actually a status quo, it's called losing, and the Perisans lost.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        What I don't get is why the Christian Nationalist now make such a deal out of losing Constantinople when, if you look at a map of the Byzantine 'Empire' before the siege it was a surprise they didn't fall sooner. Not to mention how shit relations between Chatolics and Orthodox could get all over some crap about how one should worship. When you hear about the Crusade through Bulgaria, no wonder why the Serbs were, at times, loyal satrapies for the Ottomans.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          >if you look at a map of the Byzantine 'Empire' before the siege it was a surprise they didn't fall sooner.
          The Byzantines still *were* Rome, and that still carried a lot of weight, even if by that point they were a laughable remnant of what once was. Even in its twilight years, the one thing the ERE was actually good at was playing big powers off of each other to stay alive. This worked pretty well for a while, until it didn't.

  4. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    It would be unwise to label the Byzantine Empire as a jest, for it possessed both grandeur and complexity. While some may jest at its intricate bureaucracy or changing fortunes, we must not overlook its substantial contributions to art, culture, and the preservation of knowledge during tumultuous times. The Byzantine Empire, with its capital in Constantinople, endured for over a millennium, bearing witness to significant historical events and fostering a rich heritage. One ought to approach history with a balanced perspective, acknowledging both strengths and weaknesses.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Cool story, Chat GPT

  5. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    The Eastern Roman Empire was Rome's successor, which also means it inherited all the problems that made things go to shit in the West. The biggest of these was the *exceedingly* lethal mix of:
    * position of absolute authority
    * incredibly vague/nonexistent succession laws, even for the time
    Any time an emperor died, it was basically a coin toss if the ERE imploded into a catastrophic civil war. Literally nonstop civil war over a throne that had no real concept of legitimacy, so the method defaulted to Ultraviolent Calvinball. For some reason, this isn't really good for long-term stability, especially when you've got multiple neighbors that want your stuff.

  6. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Because it way overstayed its outcome with the repeated failed sieges of Constantinople. That's it. If not for that life support it would be gone at most in 717, if not in the previous arab siege or maybe even the persian attempt.
    Stay of execution eventually allowed meagre gains off of the collapsing Abbasids, mostly failed to retake anything from them. Reconquest of the balkans was the best it ever achieved and that it took centuries of squabbling with slavic chiefdoms is another indictment on its own.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >outcome
      *welcome

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      this makes sense. it's like if the chinese capital was built on some straight up impossible to conquer geography that's also right at the center of multiple trade routes, so it could continue to sit out countless foreign invasions for free and let its dynasty live a thousand years. the dynasty would just get weaker and more degenerate until it eventually does get conquered and leaves behind no civilizational successor.

  7. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Defend Europe from eastern hordes for a thousand years
    Does it look like I'm joking?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >defend
      It had to call the Pope to start the First Crusade to bail its decrepit rear out

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        After fending off Muslim aggression on its own for around 400 years.

        The Byzantines were the first Crusaders.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >its most useful function is a buffer zone for other powers that don't care for it

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Europe from eastern hordes
      >Does it look like I'm joking?
      yeah it really does kek

  8. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    The Byzantine Empire was based, and I'm tired of pretending it wasn't.

    >inb4 Dandoloposter
    Good job moron, you let the Turks get strong enough to cuck you out of your minuscule holdings and cut off your trade. Spain and Portugal ate your lunch after the 15th century and you too became an irrelevant small state swept aside by the big boys. Your city is literally underwater now and dying. But it was worth it, eh? "Byzaboos btfo!" You're just as dead as they are.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >You're just as dead as they are.
      when I go to las vegas I can stay at the venetian, because the word is associated with wealth, splendor and luxury. the word byzantine on the other hand has been the biggest punching bag in our lexicon.

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