You are abducted by a time traveller.

You are abducted by a time traveller. Stumbling out from their time machine after a brutal rape you find that you have been sent back to the 1980s. You turn back to ask them to return you to your own time but they left while you were looking away. Now that you are trapped in this era without any of your previous possessions, what computer will you purchase for yourself?

Beware Cat Shirt $21.68

Rise, Grind, Banana Find Shirt $21.68

Beware Cat Shirt $21.68

  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I'll just go without a computer.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      but then how will you process words or do whatever spreadsheets are for?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Pen and paper

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          and how will you play low quality clones of popular arcade games?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            at the arcade

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            but then you''l have to be around other people!!

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            I hope I run into some sexy little 80s girls along the way.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            they'll all have bad hair styles

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            They're also not zogged by social media. I consider this a net positive.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            I love 80s hairstyle, actually.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            fine, then how will you make cool demos to share with your friends on the BBSes??

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            this is the 80s when arcades and video games are for nerds and losers. there will be no girls there.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Pen and paper

      at the arcade

      Fricking zoomers

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Depends on where in the 80s I've landed? Early? Commodore 64. Mid? Probably an ST. Late? An IBM compatible.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      every computer released to the market between new years day 1980 and new years eve 1989 is available

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >1989
        I'd go grab me an early-run 486 then.

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    SPARCstation 1

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I am happier than I ever thought possible

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    If it's the later 80s, the same one I had back then and the comfiest computer ever made
    Amiga 500

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    sun microsystems, silicon graphics, or anything that supported unix.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      If it's the late 80s then sgi would be the better bet. The SparcStation 1 was still a bit underpowered, and sgi came out with the PowerSeries which you could get with multiple MIPS cpus.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >sun microsystems, silicon graphics, or anything that supported unix.
      You would end up being one of the authors of the Unix Hater's Handbook.

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Probably a NeXT Computer, unless there's some major use case I'm missing.

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Zoomers have no idea how slow computers were, they existed only as a test of your patience. Imagine paying thousands for something that will mostly piss you off and become obsolete in 2 years or less

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      and they crashed all the time. they don't know how good they have it

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah in addition to reading a whole magazine while operations completed you also had to waste time on resets and fixing errors. If you just walked away to make spaghetti it was almost a guarantee of crash or fatal error or something bad. Computers are definitely better now but unfortunately we discovered they dont actually solve any of our personal or societal problems.,

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >computers back then were shit
      >computers today are shit
      Why are you on a technology board if it's always been shit?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      this. computers were still slow af and shit even in the 2000s compared to what we have today.

      Why would I rape them if they brought me to the 80s?

      to give you AIDS

      [...]
      I had one back then, it was sexy and a great experience, like today’s Macs are.

      >it was sexy and a great experience, like today’s Macs are.
      what kind of gay are you that you think computers are "sexy"? do you also think cars are sexy? they are machines, you homosexual. machines aren't sexy. they are made to work, not to be judged by their appearance.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Yep. You can do in Excel, in a few lines of VBA, something that took days to run with a custom-built and highly-optimised C program a couple of decades ago.

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >after a brutal rape
    Context? Was it the time traveler or did he save me?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      It was the time traveller, but don't assume their pronouns please.
      t. OP

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Time travel makes you gay. Which is convenient as you'll be dumped into the nexus of the GRIDS timeline.

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I would prefer to invest in apple and would never go back to future

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    C64 to see what all the fuss was about.

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    C64. Well unless I arrive fairly late into the 80s, in which case I might buy an Amiga or a Unix compatible. I really would want unix compatibility but I'm not going to break the bank for it.

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I have no use for a computer with no internet
    I'd just buy a NES as soon as it hits the market

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >gets raped by time traveller
    >still refer to him as "they" out of courtesy
    Americans are unfixable.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Women can rape too.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        That is not what OP meant.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Only women with penises.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      the abductor was a single person, but the group you were brought to gang banged you.

      >after a brutal rape
      Context? Was it the time traveler or did he save me?

      they dumped you in the 80s to dispose of the evidence.

  15. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Why would I rape them if they brought me to the 80s?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      you're the one who's getting raped

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        No, I'm not.

  16. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I don't want any computer, just enjoying the comfy 80 times till I die in the 2000

  17. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    an Amiga 2000, obviously. Also, was this time traveler good looking and will he return to rape me again? I would like to pretend like i didn't like it, but then get sodomized again.

  18. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    A really specific fetish OP.
    You have an experience while watching back to the future or something?

  19. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >You turn back to ask them to return you to your own time but they left while you were looking away
    This part never happened.

  20. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    how would I buy a computer, i wouldnt have any money, I wouldnt have a valid ID, or social security number, or even birth certificate. I could not get any meaningful job, I have no house, nothing.
    Assuming i have my phone with me I would have more computational power in my hand than anyone could hope for, but I cant think if any way to leverage that into a actual living situation.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      That's what I asked myself several times.
      Back then here in Germany you could've gotten a job maybe even a flat without valid documents. With some money you could buy an ID, they wheren't that secure then.
      Or you could just claim that you've lost your memory.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >go to ms/samsung/snoy/whoever
      >offer to make them the biggest corp in the world
      >become trillionaire

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I know the zoomer mind can’t comprehend this, but you didn’t need all this stuff back then. As late as the 1980s, people could be functioning members of society without having the telephone or even a bank account, just like in Africa today. It’s hard to imagine in the current police-like world where you always need to fill forms and justify your existence as a normie (give a mandatory phone number, show your papers, pay with credit card only, etc.) everytime you want to do something important, but in my childhood the world was not like that. And the world wasn’t like that either in the previous 5,000 years. We just went full clown world, at the expense of our freedom and privacy, within a few decades.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        i know the moron brain like you cant comprehend that anyone with any competence would want to land a good job and start renting a house and putting as much money into stocks as possible with their knowledge on how the future will play out.
        it can be difficult to just enter the world with nothing and get to a stable enough living situation to start this process, and even after that point, you will start turning the wrong eyes on you when you begin amassing large amounts of cash from stonk trading.
        even if you somehow do not get thrown in jail or murdered, you have all this money and still no citizenship, no passport, cant travel or buy property.
        you would risk a lot going to the governemnt to try to sort out your citizenship.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >zoomer STILL can't comprehend how unfree he is

          You could land a very good job, be a millionaire even, and rent or buy a house without any of this shit back then. Without a bank account for sure, and even without ID (which could be easily faked if really needed, and--more importantly--no one would ever find out that you faked your papers). Buying stocks was certainly possible too with pure registered shares, maybe even with bearer shares. Literally everything you said was *easily* possible for a nobody with no papers and no bank account in the 80s. "Amassing large amounts of cash" was not frowned upon or considered suspicious either.

          Even while traveling, we had much more freedom just a few years ago. For example, in the late 2000s, I could buy a one-way train ticket to another EU country, pay cash at the station, no ID needed when buying (tickets were anonymous), no control from anyone when boarding, no control from anyone when arriving. The only control was from the ticket inspector, who just checked if I owned my anonymous ticket in the train. That's it. No papers necessary at any step, no bank account, no smartphone, nothing.

          In the 80s almost everything was like this.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            how are you able to speak so authoritatively on something you know you don't have a clue on?

            uh huh, show me where you can buy a house and pay the property taxes without a fricking valid SSN you gorilla Black person. that shit gets verified even in the 80s.
            even if you magically got a deeded title in your name, you would always be at risk of losing it because you have no legal proof that you are the recorded owner.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          how are you able to speak so authoritatively on something you know you don't have a clue on?

  21. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Purchase a gun and dump a full magazine in steve jobs' head. MS steals Xerox's shit like usual. MS becomes 100% monopoly and Windows/Office/IE all get broken up into their own product lines/companies.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      based

      I'll just read books until the 90s, also I wont disturb the timeline by trying to be a idea guy.

      why waste any amount of money on a computer
      I would buy every piece of apple stock I could afford

      cringe

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Purchase a gun and dump a full magazine in steve jobs' head.

      Frick that shit. I'd kill Wozniak. Then I could watch that talentless hack Jobs spiral into madness before he dies of cancer, broken and alone.

  22. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    why waste any amount of money on a computer
    I would buy every piece of apple stock I could afford

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Probably would want to with Microsoft and then add Amazon and Apple later.

  23. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I'll just read books until the 90s, also I wont disturb the timeline by trying to be a idea guy.

  24. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Early 80s?C64
    Late Amiga 500

  25. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >COMMOD-ACK

  26. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >you have been sent back to the 1980s.
    This is fricking weird, I was born in 1980
    You want me to go back and find the hospital I was born at so i can see my mom shit me out?

  27. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    I had one back then, it was sexy and a great experience, like today’s Macs are.

  28. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I'll buy as much fricking apple and microsoft stock as i can get my hands on

  29. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I purchase nothing. I invest in Microsoft until Google is founded, then dump it all into them until 2008 at which point I dump everything into Bitcoin, selling out when it hits $50k.

  30. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I'd get a Apple //e and Novation Apple cat modem so I could phone phreak with the onboard tone generator. Hacking out calling card numbers, calling all the l33t boards, pirating games on AE sites, late night Alliance teleconfrences with other nerds.... peak comfy. I'd pay for the equipment with a credit card carbon I dumpster dived from a gas station.

  31. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Frick buying a computer. I’ll spend the money on stocks.

  32. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Frick that. I'm going to score some coke and snort it off of the ass of some big haired hooker.

  33. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    every single anon replying with some comment about buying stocks is a HUGE redditor, frick you

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Not to mention it's self-sabotaging: if the market gets wind that some pimply autistic, who doesn't seem to exist, and keeps begging .gov for something called "neet-bucks" is a big shareholder of these Microsoft or Apple upstarts, those companies are going to fail.

  34. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    i hunt down and kill woz to eat his brain for his knowledge, then build my computer

  35. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    get a bunch of money and invest everything into microsoft asap

  36. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    If you are a modern liberastian LGBT+ you will not survive in the 80s or end up in a gays ghetto. Otherwise I would not care about computers. I'll be free.

  37. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I get to go back to the 80s and I only have to get raped once? Pretty good deal.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      this tbqh

      that would imply that you are carrying money on you that was printed prior to the date you land on which is very unlikely.

      >he isn't a gigalarper who collects kino bills from 1985

  38. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >you have been sent back to the 1980s
    I won't be getting into my medical conditions on IQfy, but I die. And it's very nasty death.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      How’d you get the aids bro

  39. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It depends, if I were a US citizen I would be glad to have some deflated USD on me (x2.5) but I'm a europoor, so I'd most likely be apprehended for money counterfeiting (euro didn't exist back then).

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      that would imply that you are carrying money on you that was printed prior to the date you land on which is very unlikely.

  40. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    As someone born in 1979 I find this whole thread offensive.
    Also, knowing what I do now, I would steal an Apple 2 and then a Mac and and then an iPhone and I would try my hardest to avoid computers and instead play sports and tinker with cars and learn how to socialize normally. I hate being a loser nerd lame ass.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      wow
      did you used to have really long hair and smoke weed and drive a vw camper? were you drafted when reagan launched his invasion of cuba? did you get ambushed in the jungle like in the it aint me song? this is so cool

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >were you drafted when reagan launched his invasion of cuba? did you get ambushed in the jungle like in the it aint me song?
        None of these things makes any sense. Not even a little.
        Wait, are you smoking the weed right now?

  41. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Oh thank God. I'm old enough to die before the world goes to complete shit. I'll write a book detailing the coming insanity and be forever worshipped as a prophet after I'm dead.

  42. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    i would go find ted in the woods and tell him he will be betrayed by his own and spur him towards more effective targets

  43. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >without any of your previous possessions
    brooh, where's my wallet?

  44. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    well that was almost a fun little adventure we had here.

  45. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Anything that will allow me to purchase Nvidia and apple stock

Comments are closed.