>you will never collect the magic tablets of enemy deities in order to turn yourself into an invincible sorcerer king

>you will never collect the magic tablets of enemy deities in order to turn yourself into an invincible sorcerer king
why even live...?

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  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    If he was so great why is he dead?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Who says he's dead? He probably ascended to the Heavens at Ashur's right hand.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        He is proudly riding his golden chariot over flayed and disemboweled Elam*te corpses as we speak.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Presumably the deities of Mesopotamia had enough of this moron sacking their cities and looting their temples and personally came down to Earth to collect his soul as punishment.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        He didn't sacck Mesopotamian cities thoug. Just thirdietastic bantoid mudhuts that kept fricking his trade up

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Elam was a huge city for the time.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Still not Mesopotamian. It wasn't Semitic and it was harboring bandits. Should've followed THE LAW!!

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Elam wasn't a city, it was a region with many city states. You are probably thinking of Susa.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      there's unironically no hard evidence that he died. He just suddenly disappears from history

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        The gods do a very moron-friendly talk explaining to him why trying to achieve immortality is futile and that he should try to enjoy what he got of his life

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I love this homie so much. Glad I'm related to his (T2)

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What was their problem?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Problem? It's not me who has a problem now

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      why were the Assyrians the most based civilization to ever exist, you mean?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      why were bronze age societies so openly bloodthirsty? the medes conquered the area solely by not being complete c**ts

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Sometimes it really does seem like unless it's you or your immediate family, or your people are being ethnically cleansed or oppressed, the lives of others don't matter.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Remnants of the Rephaim. It's great insight into how the world pre-flood worked from the giants who cannibalized the normal men.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        People weren't sissies back then. It wasn't just about enemies btw, see the Sumerian "laments" for their own cities:

        >On its lofty city-gates where walks had been taken, corpses were piled. On its boulevards where festivals had been held, heads lay scattered. In all its streets where walks had been taken, corpses were piled. In its places where the dances of the Land had taken place, people were stacked in heaps. They made the blood of the Land flow down the wadis like copper or tin. Its corpses, like fat left in the sun, melted away of themselves.

        >The heads of its men slain by the axe were not covered with a cloth. Like a gazelle caught in a trap, their mouths bit the dust. Men struck down by the spear were not bound with bandages. As if in the place where their mothers had [birthed], they lay in their own blood. Its men who were finished off by the battle-mace were not bandaged. Although they were not drunk with strong drink, their necks drooped on their shoulders.
        >The weak and the strong of Urim perished from hunger. Mothers and fathers who did not leave their houses were consumed by fire. The little ones lying in their mothers' arms were carried off like fish by the waters. Among the nursemaids with their strong embrace, the embrace was pried open.
        >All the treasures accumulated in the Land were defiled. In all the storehouses abounding in the Land fires were kindled.
        >The good house of the lofty untouchable mountain, E-kic-nu-jal, was entirely devoured by large axes. The people of Cimacki and Elam, the destroyers, counted its worth as only thirty shekels. They broke up the good house with pickaxes. They reduced the city to ruin mounds. Its queen cried, "Alas, my city", cried, "Alas, my house". Ningal cried, "Alas, my city," cried, "Alas, my house. As for me, the woman, both my city has been destroyed and my house has been destroyed. O Nanna, the shrine Urim has been destroyed and its people have been killed."

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          This one is fragmentary but it sounds all the more chilling for it:

          >War ...... enemy lands ...... echoed. Like arrows in a quiver ....... Evildoers in Sumer ....... Gutium, the enemy, overturned ....... Sumer, caught in a trap, ....... Its people were thrown into turmoil ....... The mighty heroes of Sumer ....... ...... the heart of a hurricane ....... They advanced like the front rank of troops, ....... Like ...... they were crushed, every one of them ....... Their war veterans gave up, their brains were muddled. The troop leaders, the most outstanding of the men, were viciously hewn down. Gutium, the enemy, ...... weapons ....... Not looking at each other ...... Like a swelling flood, like ......, Subir poured into Sumer.

          >They ...... like stampeding goats, they tore apart the corpses of the population. They mutilated Sumer and Akkad, they pulverised it as with a pestle. They destroyed its settlements and habitations, they razed them to ruin mounds. The best of Sumer they scattered like dust, they heaped up ....... They massacred its populace, they finished off young and old alike. They destroyed the city of the Anuna gods, they set it aflame. They put out both Unug's eyes, they uprooted its young shoots. They wandered all through the libation places of the Anuna gods. And even Kulaba, which is the primeval city, they turned into a place of murder.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >Battering rams and shields were set up, they rent its walls. They breached its buttresses, they hewed the city with axes. They set fire to its stations, they ...... the city's dwellings. They destroyed it, they demolished it. Unug, the good place, was ...... with dust. Like a great wild bull wounded with an arrow, ....... Like a wild cow pierced with a spear, ....... The mighty one rushed with his weapons and ...... implements of war. Subir, rising up like a swelling floodwave, ....... They trampled (?) through the streets and ....... They let the blood of the people flow like that of a sacrificial cow, they tore out everthing that had been built.

            >The citizens of Unug ....... They...... and threw down ....... They ...... and put an end to ....... They seized ....... They struck ....... They destroyed ....... They ...... They demolished ....... They set up ....... They heaped up ....... They put an end to ...... and did not leave behind ....... ...... Subir entered ......
            >The enemy land ....... Zabalam ....... In Urim, the E-kic-nu-jal ....... Cattlepen and sheepfold ......, evil ....... The land of Subir ....... All the great gods ....... The Anuna gods .......

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Nice. Do you have the one about the Sea People? It was found half-finished in an oven The speculation is the scribe had no time to finish as the Sea People were about to break in.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >the medes conquered the area solely by not being complete c**ts
        are you missing out on them beating the assyrians first?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        this is my my amateur pseudo-psycho/sociological take on it.
        >be huntergathergay
        >get jelly of more successful hunter gather gays
        >raid them
        >feel better
        vs
        >be huntergathergay
        >try to raid other huntergathergays
        >wait what, i cant even do that because... they made. a. fricking. city.
        imagine the seethe. this would have reverberated for some time until an external entity (like the medes) resets all the past grudges. mongols are a case in point, backwater savages seething brutalmaxxing on their enemies.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This image never fails to make me laugh like a hyena

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Ha yeah it's one of my favorite pastas but the top one for me it's picrel. A bit longer but well worth it. we need more IQfy humor.

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    When you feel sad and miserable, anons, remember: at least you are not Elam conquered by Assyria

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I don't think I would have liked to have been born in the bronze age, but I would like to have experienced it for a few years.

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