Downtown girl: 5 reasons to move to the big city

Staying flyover for multiple generations can put your family at risk of genetic and health devolution. It's also creepy.

Let’s be honest: being flyover sucks and is beginning to get a whiff of the creepy vibe. It’s cultural nowhereland, where ketchup goes on steak and “uppity” minorities can find themselves on the wrong end of a rope.

You’ve dreamt of moving away from it all and become a downtown girl. Here are five great reasons to move to the city and go for that downtown apartment you’ve always lusted after.

#1. Downtown apartments

Admit it: having to deal with getting people to deal with roofing issues, bad plumbing, and all the other problems that come with maintaining a home is a constant and menial irritation. Downtown apartments are a great way to have a beautiful home without having to deal with all these usual stresses of home ownership.

#2. Commuting to work (and everywhere else) is easy

You no longer have to spend precious multiple percentage digits of your life sitting in a car; everything you could ever want or need is right outside your door! Odds are your workplace will be located within walking distance of your apartment, and you can say goodbye to the headache of having a car altogether.

You also never have to worry about big events being far away from you or hard to get to — when you’re downtown the attractions come to YOU and you just have to be there to enjoy it.

#3. Fun is all around you

Downtown is where the businesses are and you know what that means: all the best chow! From restaurants that serve the finest meals, to exciting foreign chefs stuffing live squiggling octopuses down your throat, to the new fast food chain you’ve heard great things about — you’ll be able to find any kind of eating experience you can imagine downtown.

Luxury movie theaters with chairside food and beverage service, sports and concert stadiums, and all sorts of other entertainment options are right outside your door. From hitting the local pub for a trivia night or checking out the new escape room that just opened up, you’ll be able to spend every night having a new and exciting adventure out on the town. And, importantly, you’ll always make it home before the sun comes up — unless you don’t want to!

#4. Great service

Everyone that are somebody want to live in the big city, so there’s plenty of options when it comes to finding a downtown apartments company that will fit your needs. With all this competition to get people to rent their apartments, rest assured people will be dedicated to making sure you have any problems with your apartment handled right away.

A happy customer is the best advertisement around and money can’t buy it, so you know your landlord will be doing all they can to make sure you’ll be recommending your friends and family check out their properties if they ever want to move downtown. If you’re living in a downtown luxury apartment you know you’ll be treated well — that’s how things work when you’re living downtown.

#5. Let’s be honest: being flyover just kind of sucks

It’s not often talked about because of the taboo, but people who stay flyover for multiple generations overall develop worse teeth, balloon into amorphous cardiac arrest blobs, and start to put ketchup on steak. Being flyover country is more than a lack of net worth; it’s a state of being and poverty of the soul.

It’s time to nip that stuff in the bud for you and your loved ones and go for a happy and fulfilled life in the city.