Dating is really hard. Dating in a world filled with fuckbois is even harder.
Although difficult to spot at first, fuckbois (also commonly spelled “fuckboys” or “fuccbois”) are a simple breed. In order to spot a fuckboi in full-force it will take a few dates, which isn’t very helpful if you’re trying to decide whether or not to waste your time. I wish I could say there was a way to spot him solely based on the way he talks or the way he dresses, but there isn’t.
In all my experience with these types of men I have come to learn that they’re extremely slippery and easily hidden. They often have sociopathic traits.
Below I’ve compiled a list of red flags while dating to spot a fuckboi to hopefully make your search a little easier. Together, we can learn from my mistakes.
#1. If he brings up any other dating app while you’re together.
Like, I’m sorry, is this an interview and you’re trying to let me know how many candidates there are or what?
#2. He says something vaguely transphobic, racist, misogynistic, homophobic.
#3. He’s huffy with the waiter or waitress.
This should be a red flag for any date, ever. But, if your date is being a jerk to the waitstaff chances are he is actually a major douche-lord and you should steer clear. Being kind to service-industry workers not only shows compassion, it probably shows work-ethic since he clearly understands what a thankless job it is.
#4. He makes a comment about wanting to pay for the check but doesn’t want to look like a non-feminist.
Those guys are the fuckin’ worst.
#5. If he brings up his ex in any other way other than in passing.
Doesn’t matter if he hates her or has nothing but respect for her. You’re on a date, man!
#6. He describes Point Break as his favorite film.
Or considers video games as one of his passions.
#7. He thinks John Mayer is “misunderstood.”
#8. He wears a button up with tennis shoes.
f u c k b o i
#9. He comments on how much (or little) you drink.
Sir, we just met. Let’s get to controlling my vices a few months down the road.
#10. He tries to order food for you…
even though you haven’t expressed their desire to in the slightest.
#11. He gets hammered on the date…
And keeps making jokes about the possibility of the two of you hooking up.
#12. He expresses no desire for his future.
Not in the “I’m not sure what I want to be yet!” but in a way that makes you know he’s lazy and life will always be easy for him, so he doesn’t even try.
#13. He talks badly about his mother.
Doesn’t matter if his mother is a crack-smoking nightmare, a man should never speak ill of his mother in front of a total stranger. It shows how he thinks of the women in his life a great deal.
#14. He aggressively tries talking politics with you before you’ve even gotten your bread basket.
#15. If he clearly doesn’t understand the concept of working hard for what he has, and has been given everything he wants from an early age – run.
These fuckbois have a tendency to throw tantrums when they aren’t given what they want.
#16. If he checks out anyone else in front of you in a leering way not a “wow, they’re beautiful” way.
You’ll know the difference.
#17. He bathes in Axe body-spray.
Classic fuckboi smell.
#18. He checks his phone more than twice during the date.
Who are you hoping to speak to in the next two hours besides me?