As an engineer, how can you make QA's job as difficult as possible?
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As an engineer, how can you make QA's job as difficult as possible?
As an engineer, how can you make QA's job as difficult as possible?
Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68 |
Ape Out Shirt $21.68 |
Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68 |
be indian
/thread sir
Trick tests, like, for tech support newcomers we have a table with a display and spare pc parts and tell them to make it boot.
They assemble it with all the confidence in the world until they push the power button and the pc does frick all, no screen image, no leds, no beeps. That's when the majority start to sweat and panic moving ram, reconnecting the hdd, asking if the cable works, etc. Only like 5% suspect the psu is bad and only 1% asked for a paperclip. That's how I got hired, I'm now in networking.
paperclip?
Shorting PWR
I'm sorry, don't call us we call you.
>1% asked for a paperclip
>paperclip
anon...
EXPLAIN THE PAPERCLIP RIGHT NOW OR THE ANIME GIRL GETS THE shred
SHORTING SHIT ON THE MOBO TO RESET IT AND BYPASSING wires
Silly anon, the QA are mostly indians
>QA
is this a joke? QA is useless and is always moron indians that stink like curry and onions and body odor YUCK
>QA is useless
This attitude right here is why software is shit these days.
almost no software has QA, are you high?
maybe none you've ever worked on, pajeet
i'm white, but anyways you can't name any software on my machine that doesn't work because it doesn't have QA? ok then
It probably does, I can guarantee all filed bugs were set to low priority.
name some shit software, i want to see if you're lying
facebook
>some shitty internet service
no, name software that runs on my computer that needs QA because it doesn't work correctly
microsoft.
Windows10/11
windows doesn't have QA, if it did it would work, but it doesn't
>windows doesn't have QA, if it did it would work, but it doesn't
Precisely
linux works though, and it has no QA, can you explain this? i can. windows is made by indians
Nah it's the users that are the problem all QA does is make sure features work as described in the tickets. We get support emails from morons all the time saying they can't understand/use basic features it ends up being passed along to the UX guy who then has to make everything bloated and have more pages/button presses etc because normal people are subhumans who can't understand how to use basic applications
>Nah it's the users that are the problem all QA does is make sure features work as described in the tickets.
I guess you haven't had QA who doesn't understand anything and asks the dev to explain their interpretation of the requirement for every ticket.
sirs, we will use a crowd sourced community sollution to fill out the bug reports sir and fix it post launch by hiring a third party that will just query ai.
It's impossible as QA has no actual responsibility or accountability
QA however can make devs lives hell by making ominous sounding but poorly documented and impossible to reproduce bug reports that make managers freak the frick out, and devs will tear their hair out to repro the shitty bug tickets.
QA are shitters and always will be shitters
>It's impossible as QA has no actual responsibility or accountability
Yeah but you can at least psychologically torture them into quitting
No you can't. QA is the ultimate cheatcode. They hire morons who don't know anything, don't have to learn anything and make like 80% of what devs do. If they quit the only thing they'd be able to do is flip burgers.
>all these seething replies
IQfy is full of perma NEETs who never worked a day confirmed. QA is your friend, not foe. I sleep better every night knowing my software went through rounds of rigorous automated and manual testing. Especially when the project is 7 years old and made by multiple people who don't work in the company anymore.
Me thinking it was a nice pair of wooded cupped headphones.
people really use pans like that and see no issue with it
Now google cast-iron pan you microplastics addicted teflonmuncher
That's not a nicely seasoned cast iron pan anon, you might wanna get your eyes checked.
And they hardly even make teflon pans anymore due to the PFAS hysteria
> how
threats of violence and rape.
some people are disgusting. you just know it hasn't been cleaned in months.
they're not magical. they still a clean.
slash their car tires
follow them home and threaten their family
release homosexual photos of them
kidnap their kids
Slip in logic to randomly have issues so that it isn't reproducible deterministically.
>software
>engineer
just bee yourself
yes i know you are a useless hack frick you
i am proud that my code almost always passes reviews flawlessly
Randomize behaviour. Make it work correctly almost all of the time and break on occasionally. You'll probably need some check to disable this behaviour when deployed. Hiding this well and making it look accidental can be tricky, though.
1. Ensure that the team is spread globally with developers and qa being on different continents
2. There should be at least 5 product managers per product. They should never communicate. It helps if at lest 3 of them don't know how to use the product and one should have a wild 'vision' for what the product should do that's totally different to what the product is for.
3. Product manager culture should be one of complete paranoia. Every new feature no matter how small should require a full three week regression cycle. Every customer issue should be critical. QA's should be on call 24/7
4. Insist on using JIRA align. QA's should be paid purely according to how many bugs they find. All tickets should be painstakingly bureaucratised in the most asinine way possible. Every bug should be marked as wont do or should be linked to an issue that's been open for 8 years.
5. The code should never be static. If it's a webapp it should be built to be completely dynamic with no stationary parts. 85 layers of react contexts powering 20 layers of embedded iframes rendering a separately deployed angular app. api access should use websockets to push messages to rabbitmq which fires lambdas that generate graphiql queries that connect to a spring app with mandatory filters managed by 14 teams in 8 timezones.
6. Everyone in the QA management should be really opinionated about what qa process is and should do weekly shitty linkedin posts about the 'testing pyramid' in a strong Bengali accent despite their product being a flaming carousel of shit
Hello sir how do I join comittee I have two decade of JIRA experience with heavy QA analysis resume and degree from esteemed University
Oh no. My apologies.
Also hi Oldgay.
Don't document anything. Ask QA to come up with the documentation a few days before release, without telling them anything about the feature. Merge entire features without writing a single test, just assume it works. Leave QA to discover syntax errors in your code. Bugfixes should have no comments and the commit should just reference an empty ticket with a title like "Bug causing UI to fail". Add petty comments to bug reports like asking for details about library versions, random system logs, works on my machine etc. If QA manage to discover you're a hack fraud always claim it was an obscure edge case that nobody would run into.
Race conditions
Race conditions everywhere
ok you sound like pros, what kind of patterns or whatever would you use for pretty much destilling actions and events out of a text transcription of the microphone audio