>be me
>literally just turned 33 year old white guy
>high on coke right now
>drinking to take the edge off
>reading Coleridge because his poems are amazing
>realize that his addiction held him back
>I am being held back by my addiction
What do I do anons? My prof four years ago told me my work was comparable to John Ashbery (her writing prof) and Ted Hughes (whom she did a few retreats with), but I can't write much more because of anxiety and addiction. What do I do?
Lmao
lmaO
There is nothing you can just “do” to suddenly change all that because the laws of causality and continuity are incontrovertible. You would have to artificially produce a massive discontinuity in your life which will be extremely painful so you likely won’t go through with it. You should just kill yoursef.
Free will can't be refuted and the deterministic conception can't be established because free will and indeterminism have been fundamental parts of any viable laws of physics or their application since 1925 - for fudging 95 years. The quantum mechanical revolution has established the non-existence of determinism in Nature and the dependence on the observer and his choice of the observation (and free will is also exhibited by elementary particles and all other degrees of freedom due to Kochen's and Conway's free will theorem; a theorem means that it's been proven mathematically).
False. Science cannot change whether determinism is true or not. Metaphysics shows causality is universal. Infallible metaphysics disproves fallible science. All qm shows is that we can use statistics to model where particles go. I am not a naive scientific realist. Even if qm showed determinism is false, it still would not show existence of free will, since your will would be governed by chance of particles, not yourself.
You are bound by the chains of causality, cause and effect, what comes before dictates what comes after. All progress according to the precepts of the Logos.
You do not know the Logos, the Word that gives shape to the Ground, the Father. You must come to know the Word through his incarnation in the Flesh.
Freedom comes from the submission to the Logos, to live in accordance with reason and that love by which the Father sent his only begotten Son to die on a cross for man and by which both pour out their Spirit on mankind.
14 We know that the law is spiritual; but I am carnal, sold under sin. 15 I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree that the law is good. 17 So then it is no longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me.
21 So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. 22 For I delight in the law of God, in my inmost self, 23 but I see in my members another law at war with the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin which dwells in my members. 24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I of myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.
---
One dies a death of personal autonomy when one lives by the desires of the members of one's body. Only the Logos, Christ can cast out the Legion Within. He offers resurrection of personhood in this life.
>cocaine is le bad
Never said that. Addiction is bad because it is slavery.
Not really. Consider Saint Augustine. He is renowned for their great prose and Confessions is considered a work of art outside any of its religious merits. We have more writing from Augustine than any other writer from antiquity, thousands of pages. But he was an ascetic. Or you can consider Tolstoy, or Plato, etc.
There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set me free from the law of sin and death. 3 For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do: sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin,[a] he condemned sin in the flesh, 4 in order that the just requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. 5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. 6 To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. 7 For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, indeed it cannot; 8 and those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
9 But you are not in the flesh, you are in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Any one who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. 10 But if Christ is in you, although your bodies are dead because of sin, your spirits are alive because of righteousness. 11 If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will give life to your mortal bodies also through his Spirit which dwells in you.
12 So then, brethren, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh— 13 for if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body you will live. 14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the spirit of sonship. When we cry, “Abba! Father!” 16 it is the Spirit himself bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.
18 I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 19 For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God; 20 for the creation was subjected to futility, not of its own will but by the will of him who subjected it in hope; 21 because the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and obtain the glorious liberty of the children of God. 22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning in travail together until now; 23 and not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
I think people coming from a secular background who are depressed should start with Ecclesiastes. Check that book out Anon. You have more no nonsense realist nihilism than in any modern existentialists.
The first 6 books or so of the Wisdom of Solomon too. Then the Gospel of John and Romans.
The words of the Preacher,[a] the son of David, king in Jerusalem.
2 Vanity[b] of vanities, says the Preacher,
vanity of vanities! All is vanity.
3 What does man gain by all the toil
at which he toils under the sun?
4 A generation goes, and a generation comes,
but the earth remains forever.
5 The sun rises, and the sun goes down,
and hastens[c] to the place where it rises.
6 The wind blows to the south
and goes around to the north;
around and around goes the wind,
and on its circuits the wind returns.
7 All streams run to the sea,
but the sea is not full;
to the place where the streams flow,
there they flow again.
8 All things are full of weariness;
a man cannot utter it;
the eye is not satisfied with seeing,
nor the ear filled with hearing.
9 What has been is what will be,
and what has been done is what will be done,
and there is nothing new under the sun.
10 Is there a thing of which it is said,
“See, this is new”?
It has been already
in the ages before us.
11 There is no remembrance of former things,[d]
nor will there be any remembrance
of later things[e] yet to be
among those who come after
Have you read De Quincey's account of Coleridge and his opium use? Really good:
https://www.gutenberg.org/files/42909/42909-h/42909-h.htm#SAMUEL_TAYLOR_COLERIDGE
I only know this through Byatt's work "Possession: A Romance" which has so many cool connections that she strings together. I remember hearing in her novel about Quincy's essay. I'll have to save it and read it later because I am absolutely fricking shit faced and coming down off coke right now. Thanks though!
Laugh all you want, but not believing you're good enough sucks so hard.
Wish I could kill myself, but alas, I'm petrified of death
Holy shit, I'll have to read all of this when I'm sober kek.
>My prof four years ago told me my work was comparable to John Ashbery (her writing prof) and Ted Hughes (whom she did a few retreats with)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I mean, I can post the two poems she said were comparable, but I know regardless of how good they are you'll just shit on them. Up to you, honestly.
Post them, bucko. People here find some loser troon named Mincz’s shitty poetry good, so you might have an audience
Here's the one she compared to Ashbery (formatting may be off because of IQfy's thread box)
Why Not This Evening?
You remember how to live on nothing
A different sort of—
They were questioned.
I’m expecting hot chocolate and
I’ve dreaded this artesian well and if I could—
The cars inclining forward—
You mean that as a question.
I hate these kinds of meetings.
You mean that as a question?
Yeah.
San Diego has been roasted by the sun,
Maybe we’d lose our way and
He’ll expect other things—
Be beaten by wolves—
Findings.
Never mind packing things in—
In the beginning Miss Piggy ate
Spot in the old days.
Provocative as she could ever be,
Indicative Isles insusceptible to her moods.
Category:
Wander through the
Family.
Can’t,
Waiting for
A question only
So I could spell my words—
“Let me in,” she begs.
Saying, “that’s just the way you gotta
Part!”
I am (
). Not bad. I like it. Go to AA so you can focus on writing and reach out to that professor
Thanks, anon. I might begin the steps of AA or NA or other addiction help.
I actually like it. But I’m not an authority on poetry. I see the comparison to Ashbery, but luckily it’s less opaque than Ashbery, although it still has that crypticness.
The second one is longer so I will have to have my morning coffee before I read it and get back to you. I’m pleasantly surprised, if you’re not trolling us. (That’s just me being paranoid but so much of this board now is edgy youngsters in it for the memes I can’t rule out you made up a story to appeal to them for (you)s just to post your poetry).
I am not trolling you whatsoever. I am currently very drunk trying to take the edge off of a serious coke night for my birthday.
coming down from coke and alcohol? i got just what you need to take the edge off
Nice to see a San Diego literary reference. It’s a cultural wasteland down here.
What is this about? I can’t make head or tail of this. I’m not much of a poetry person.
And here's the one she compared me to Ted Hughes
Empty Midnight River
Prodigious bodiless caricature reacting
With each movement of the ocean.
Sand and water fostering breath like reactions
Towards the bank.
If there is a path
It is blinded
By footsteps imprinted and wounded
Like dark scabs as the late sky loses colour.
I had never met Her before and wasn't expecting
The buds of water to shape me into the rock or earth
That would harness remnants of human manipulation.
She was there, web coiling hair wrapped around indicative
Isles—lost to the conscious and the stasis.
Locked in a celluloid circumstance, signaled
By Uranus—pinpointed under and above
Particles of dripping stars.
Beneath the sand,
Tapping at my foot,
Wood of a transparent model
Ignited memories of playing phases in heaven.
Air hung over the earth.
Rags and fragile silk shivers with every breath
Earth steals from the elements.
The beginning scorches this stumped root
Accusations clothed in conviction
Collide with creation.
Haggard mask staggering
To take its form.
She watches as my wails stun
The bones—torments of flesh conjuring in heaven.
Agony rose without an eye.
Weeping pushed breath through the lungs.
Confessions shaped the body.
Atoms form
Decay begins.
Slowly
She glides towards me
And speaks:
"It's easy
To harvest the moon near the river.
Let me put my thumb on your forehead
I intend to love you and guide you
Where desires sway your reactions.
The light in this river understands the
Electricity governing all moments of fear
But I am here—waiting to clean all dirt
From your feet."
Between the silence and the locked frames
Hung the barriers of loneliness.
"Moon is setting
Child."
She cloaked my eyes with a veil
Hidden from the rainy stony earth
Which begat me.
I am coffee-anon, took longer than I expected because needed breakfast too as well as to bullshit and procrastinate with some other things. I like this one even more and, like before, indeed see the Hughes comparison. The aural qualities, the imagery, as well as that it’s much more concrete (in the sense that, you can grasp onto things more easily and get a general sense of what it’s all about or what situations or feelings are being described) as opposed to the postmodern Ashbery-style abstraction of the last one (which I can respect the quality of but don’t enjoy as much to read personally). As I’ve said and as you can probably see, I’m not much of an authority on poetry, my criticism is not very sophisticated beyond “it turns me on” or “it turns me off” (in an aesthetic, not erotic, sense).
I wish you well in your struggles, anon. I don’t really have good advice. I dealt with bad drug addiction issues before but it was with a quadrifecta of alcohol, psychedelics, weed, and cough syrup (not necessarily all at the same time but sometimes close to it). In my case, a brutal wake-up call was needed to shake me up, specifically just losing it on some drug combo, being institutionalized for a short time then forced into rehab after (which of course also made me lose my job). Hopefully it doesn’t go that far for you. Read guys like Rajneesh and Krishnamurti, they sound New-Agey but are actually very “therapeutic”. Or go for AA, as well as the believing in a higher-power route which is half the premise of AA, or even turning specifically to Christianity as a poster suggests.
If you want to solve drugs with more drugs, some people find kratom helpful for getting them off addiction to harder drugs (classically for getting off opiates, but people have even used it for stim addictions and alcoholism successfully). Kratom is harder to ruin your life with, is much subtler in effects, and you’re not even noticeably “high” on it, in terms that people can tell you’re “on something”, but it’s definitely something you feel. Replacing one drug with another isn’t the best advice, but it works for some. When I went to rehab, the counselors there even accepted that some people could profitably replace harder drug addictions with cannabis, and took this into account with the urine tests if patients straight-up admitted “I’m using pot to keep me off heroin/coke/meth/etc.”
I’m not that anon and haven’t posted in this thread but would you be willing to post them? I’m not making fun of you at all and, again, haven’t previously posted once in this thread, I’m legit to curious to see what type of poems could be compared to them. Wish you well in your struggles, anon. Also, are you actually high on coke and drinking to take the edge off already on a Saturday morning?
I usually recommend alcoholism, which is the road I choose. But I know once youre hooked on a drug alcohol just brings out the urges more. Your only choice is to go cold turkey. Spiraling into a full-blown cocaine addiction is a long horrible road that ends in humiliation and death. Get clean man, write your poetry with a clear head. If youre all wired up with stimulants youll be deceived into thinking everything you write is brilliant and you won’t be able to reach your potential.
tldr:
STOP DOING BLOW moron!
>GUYS I AM TOTALLY LE SMART BUT LE LAZY
...
I mean, yeah. Addiction and writing kind of go hand in hand, right? Coleridge with his opium, Dylan Thomas, William Faulkner, Samuel Beckett, and a load of others with their alcoholism,
1. Stop doing coke its a overrated drug.
2. Thats it.
I'm not sure if his addiction did hold him back. He wrote Xanadu as an illustration of the mind opening power of drugs and at the very end of his life as he was dying from said addiction he wrote Biographia Literaria, the greatest book of literary criticism ever made.
>realize that his addiction held him back
His best stuff was written while high as frick.
LMOA