My whole life i've been paralyzed with fear, I never acted either until I knew I had very little chance of fricking it all up or if someone forced me to do it (and then I could blame them because of my failure)
This has caused me to live stricken with fear and frustration, lately i've realized that this is a shameful way of living and if there is a god he probably hates cowards more than evildoers.
l want to change now.
I know you probably will say that you cannot overcome fear sitting around and reading shit without actually going outside and start working on it, but I just need a bit a hope lads
jordan peterstein - 12 rules for life
become a nihilist
realize that nothing matters therefore you have nothing to lose
Read the Tao Te Ching
Notes from underground by Dostoevsky will show you who you will be if you dont step shit up.
Samuel Johnson essays will help you (the rambler etc.)
>Notes from underground by Dostoevsky will show you who you will be
Anon that's not who I will be, that's who I am
Youre 40 bro? Haha. Ive heard if you dont have it together by that age then youre fricked.
OP, you are likely more intelligent than you need to be, and thus an overthinker. The best book for this type is “In praise of folly” by Desiderius Erasmus. I swear by this book
>“In praise of folly” by Desiderius Erasmus
was warning… now is instruction manuel?
What?
same bro
I thought I was just lazy when I procrastinate but I realize that it was because I was fearful of failing.
Same. I used to call it anxiety. And to a certain extent it is anxiety. But the term "anxiety" disguises the true feeling of fear. I realize now that whatever regulates fear in me is imbalanced, and that is the reason I avoid so many responsibilities. I need to conquer this weird fear reaction before I can improve in other ways.
One way I've learned to get over fear of failure, is to forgive myself for past failures. Which I hadn't been doing for majority of my life. I just kept piling up the guilt until it crushed me. Forgiving my past actions actually helps alleviate some guilt.
The second thing I've learned, is to breath more deeply. I realized that I've been holding my breath as I go into my head and start ruminating. An unconscious nervous response. So now I make a conscious effort to take slow and steady breaths whenever I'm feeling nervous, or thinking too much. It helps.
Those two things haven't conquered my fear. But it has made me a lot more even keeled. I don't feel like I'm drowning anymore. But I still don't know if I'm ready to do difficult things.
First step to changing is recognizing a problem. YGMI bros!!!
I'm gae
You're correct to fear whatever you fear. You didn't have grown up figures to show you how to function in life.
You won't overcome the fear by functioning within the same parameters that led you to the fearful response
>You won't overcome the fear by functioning within the same parameters that led you to the fearful response
What does this mean and what do you propose instead?
That your fear is part of you and the way you function in the world. There's a reason it appears. If you want to not have it you should throw away a part of who you are too
You are right about breathing. When you become stressed you literally lose your ability to think clearly and you become more scared. When you do box breathing, and deep inhale slow exhale you calm down and your thinking changes. The only other technique I know is to focus on positive outcomes instead of fears. You will notice that fears are always about a negative outcome, so switch your focus when it happens.
To add on to my post, maybe an inspirational story is what you need. See what kind of fiction inspires you. The Hobbit? Sci-fi?
Also one more thing about fear, it’s really fricking crazy how fast things can change when you start facing your fears. When you are completely consumed by fear, succeeding feels so far away. You feel like you will get utterly destroyed for even trying. All of this is just the fear. Once you actually GO for it, you will start to feel like you have entered a different world. The only hard part is taking the first step because you feel like you are going to fall into something, though once you step you will find a new surface. Have faith in there being a new path, and you will feel your power grow after each victory
I'll try breathing, but I don't understand forgiving myself.
What’ve you done that you’d want to forgive yourself for?
Plutarch’s Lives
Learn how to switch your brain to Black person mode. Scared of failure or any kind of consequence? No fricking problem. Operate with unwavering belief that only what happens to you in the present matters in so far as it benefits you in some way. Any hypothetical negative results of your actions dont matter because the future is fake and gay and whatever happens is going to happen to some hypothetical homie not you.
Are Black folk the ubermensch?
better race would be Indians
they're like blacks in that they have zero social cues and will harass the frick out of you but will still strive for education and employment
Does anyone have the copypasta
Failure is a part of life. Do everything in your power to avoid it but accept it as being something you will have to accept. The dhamapada is something you may want to read. Let go of your burdens.
You see the problem here.. you want a BOOK on this. You need to take action towards fear, a book will put off the action further. Also, please know that everyone has this. Most people stay within their comfort zone their whole life so don’t view yourself as being inferior. I recall a book called feel the fear and do it anyways, but honestly I would recommend The Game or a book about approaching women if you need a book. Because fear is usually social fears, and talking to women really increases your confidence as a man. You don’t need any book though, my only advice is that any step no matter how small (saying hi to one person) will start to change your direction
To rid yourself of your fears you have to expose yourself to your fears
Learning not to (re-)act in an emotional response. Ever.
Suprised none of you wankers mentioned TRE.
Very powerful tool.
I thought it was a load of shit when I heard it but anons here insisted so I gave it a shot.
I did this TRE shit and felt absolutely fricking drained. And I mean drained to the point of not wanting to get up off the floor. I just laid on the floor for half an our after shaking the legs.
Then finally I got my arse off the floor and went to sleep in my bed.
I had such intense dream that I was choking and I couldn't breath I woke up screaming like they do in the movies.
Turns out I was severely traumatised by the experience of almost choking to death from frick knows what as a small kid. They took me to hospital and hooked me up to some ventilator or some shit.
After this TRE thing I did it never worked for me again but it fixed me in many ways I think. Just that small thing that I completely forgot about.
I hadn't ever hear of it.
It sounds kind of dangerous.
Downhill biking and Kitesurfing fixed this for me.
No book will help with this. You need to build tolerance for stress and adrenaline.
regardless of what you think of dune, that fear mantra thing is pretty good to remember
I like that one
I've been in your situation, soon to be ex-cowardly anon.
I started work on changing it when I found myself locked in a minuscule zone of interactions with the world that were comfortable for me, with the rest being off limits. And I realized that this was a prison that kept me away from things and people I wanted to be close to, and that I was going to stay in this prison forever if I didn't do something. So it boiled down to a feeling of not being able to continue living this way, and something needing change. It seems like you've got that covered.
Maybe you don't realize it, but you already have the seed of bravery inside you. That is, you are ready to change. Now commence changing.
Bravery, as it turns out, is about this ability to go out of the comfort zone. That's it. You do it, and you see that nothing bad is happening, and you don't have to be brave anymore. And thus your bravery muscle becomes stronger, and your comfort zone bigger. You just have to start to use this muscle, and it's only this need to change that is going to help you do it.
Nothing magical is going to happen if you read the books. The scary thing is not going to become less scary. You just have to do it, and see that it's not that scary.
12 rules for life is not bad, and I had read it before I took the first steps to being brave, but I can't say for sure if it had really helped me.
Good luck, anon. Hope you make your first steps soon. It gets way better from there
Based anons
>The Book of Five Rings
>The Hagakure
Both books written by Samurai who lived long enough to become philosophers. Found many passages that deal with fear type questions – helped me, hopefully you can find some value in their writing.
Wind, Sand and Stars
Conan
While I cannot help you, I wish I could, and I wish you well, hoping that you will succeed, anon.
Wait wait wait you're telling me there are MULTIPLE Sesame Street episodes with Sopranos actors?
But anyway, Storm Of Steel
>almost 29
>CPTSD still ruins my life
>decide to just embrace the solitude