I would say as a person of some faith, that I do not spend much time at all dwelling on either heaven or hell, and hope hell is just annihilation rather than temporal suffering ad infinitum (which really does not make too much sense).
Instead I just kind of say "well it all gets sorted out in the end, keep trying and don't dwell on it."
I have not faced death personally but have had health scares where my faith provided me great reassurance-- not that I would survive or thrive, but that whatever suffering was coming was coming, and I would have to try my hardest to stay patient, joyful and positive. This reassures me because there is always a good fight to fight.
I have lost close family members and found my faith very helpful for grieving. The initial pain is truly immense, and one has to feel some despair. As years pass it recedes into a kind of background depression, which would truly pain me if I could not rely on some vague notion that I will see them again, or that their death was not meaningless.
It would be disingenuous to adopt faith just to battle grief, but you would be surprised how clarifying death is. You can see things very clearly: this matters, that does not. And this leads many people to a discovery of faith or meaning. Same with deathbed conversions. There is a nasty stereotype that this represents cowardice. I think it is just a reflection of how incredibly high the view is when you come up on the edge. Some people can use denial all the way to the last breath and never really stare it down, but most of us have to swallow that black pill at some point: I am dying. This is it. Why? Why me? Why now... like this?
That kind of searching can reveal a lot about the self, reality and the meaning and nature of life. Many, many people come to a peace, through the realization that reality is bigger than them and will go on without them. They see the Mystery of being in full color, which can lead to enlightenment or conversion.
My near death experience kind of did the opposite for me. As I felt myself slipping away into nothingness I realized I never mattered to begin with. Nothing I ever did actually meant anything beyond what I pretended it did and yet I had spent an entire lifetime terrified of a world that, in my very last few moments, I realize I never actually much of anything for. I wanted to die then not because I was no longer worried about Hell or whatever but simply because I just didn't want to be anymore and knew in a few moments I'd dissolve entirely. I just wouldn't exist anymore.
They managed to revive me with Narcan but ever since I wish they hadn't. Death only made me realize how utterly empty and nothing life is to begin with.
I thought my life was meaningful insofar as I've always been terrified to lose it. Actually dying though made me realize I was holding onto something that didn't actually matter to begin with - when you're gone, you're just gone. It's okay to be dissolved into nothingness because you can feel yourself slip away and know there's no way out of it. All the pain and fear and energies I had put into my life were meaningless in the face of an eternity without them.
>tl;dr Being at the brink of losing everything made me realize I didn't actually care about what I had to begin with. Life doesn't actually mean anything, we just pretend it does until we're so close to losing it all there's no room to lie to ourselves anymore.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
Weren't you afraid?
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
I thought I would be, especially after the sinking realization that "this is really it" hit but dying was surprisingly peaceful. That sensation of feeling yourself slipping away into nothing doesn't feel wrong even though in retrospect I guess it should've. It just made me realize I'd taken everything too seriously because I bought the lie that I mattered.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
So how do you feel now?
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
It's a double-edged sword. On one hand I'm way less scared of dying but on the other I feel pretty depressed about how meaningless it all is.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
Early 30s
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
Me too, I think 30 is the point at which death anxiety decreases for many people.
Sounds awful anon I am sorry you had to go through that. I hope you are finding people to talk to that may understand, other survivors or people in NA and so forth might be familiar.
You might enjoy studying Buddhism precisely because of that experience.
Dying's dying. When you experience it for yourself, you'll know it's something you can mistake for something else. Slipping away is slipping away for good.
This holds zero weight to people who nearly died and managed to make peace with death in that moment. I like Larkin, but he's out of his element there. Probably due to a lack of relevant experience.
I would say as a person of some faith, that I do not spend much time at all dwelling on either heaven or hell, and hope hell is just annihilation rather than temporal suffering ad infinitum (which really does not make too much sense).
Instead I just kind of say "well it all gets sorted out in the end, keep trying and don't dwell on it."
I have not faced death personally but have had health scares where my faith provided me great reassurance-- not that I would survive or thrive, but that whatever suffering was coming was coming, and I would have to try my hardest to stay patient, joyful and positive. This reassures me because there is always a good fight to fight.
I have lost close family members and found my faith very helpful for grieving. The initial pain is truly immense, and one has to feel some despair. As years pass it recedes into a kind of background depression, which would truly pain me if I could not rely on some vague notion that I will see them again, or that their death was not meaningless.
It would be disingenuous to adopt faith just to battle grief, but you would be surprised how clarifying death is. You can see things very clearly: this matters, that does not. And this leads many people to a discovery of faith or meaning. Same with deathbed conversions. There is a nasty stereotype that this represents cowardice. I think it is just a reflection of how incredibly high the view is when you come up on the edge. Some people can use denial all the way to the last breath and never really stare it down, but most of us have to swallow that black pill at some point: I am dying. This is it. Why? Why me? Why now... like this?
That kind of searching can reveal a lot about the self, reality and the meaning and nature of life. Many, many people come to a peace, through the realization that reality is bigger than them and will go on without them. They see the Mystery of being in full color, which can lead to enlightenment or conversion.
My near death experience kind of did the opposite for me. As I felt myself slipping away into nothingness I realized I never mattered to begin with. Nothing I ever did actually meant anything beyond what I pretended it did and yet I had spent an entire lifetime terrified of a world that, in my very last few moments, I realize I never actually much of anything for. I wanted to die then not because I was no longer worried about Hell or whatever but simply because I just didn't want to be anymore and knew in a few moments I'd dissolve entirely. I just wouldn't exist anymore.
They managed to revive me with Narcan but ever since I wish they hadn't. Death only made me realize how utterly empty and nothing life is to begin with.
Why did death make you feel life is worthless, can you elaborate?
I thought my life was meaningful insofar as I've always been terrified to lose it. Actually dying though made me realize I was holding onto something that didn't actually matter to begin with - when you're gone, you're just gone. It's okay to be dissolved into nothingness because you can feel yourself slip away and know there's no way out of it. All the pain and fear and energies I had put into my life were meaningless in the face of an eternity without them.
>tl;dr Being at the brink of losing everything made me realize I didn't actually care about what I had to begin with. Life doesn't actually mean anything, we just pretend it does until we're so close to losing it all there's no room to lie to ourselves anymore.
Weren't you afraid?
I thought I would be, especially after the sinking realization that "this is really it" hit but dying was surprisingly peaceful. That sensation of feeling yourself slipping away into nothing doesn't feel wrong even though in retrospect I guess it should've. It just made me realize I'd taken everything too seriously because I bought the lie that I mattered.
So how do you feel now?
It's a double-edged sword. On one hand I'm way less scared of dying but on the other I feel pretty depressed about how meaningless it all is.
How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?
Early 30s
Me too, I think 30 is the point at which death anxiety decreases for many people.
>narcan
OD from fentanyl?
Sounds awful anon I am sorry you had to go through that. I hope you are finding people to talk to that may understand, other survivors or people in NA and so forth might be familiar.
You might enjoy studying Buddhism precisely because of that experience.
you *died* under the influence of a pharmaceutical israelited drug, your experience holds no relevance to natural death
Dying's dying. When you experience it for yourself, you'll know it's something you can mistake for something else. Slipping away is slipping away for good.
something you can't mistake*
Ur a pussy. Hell is eternal suffering and you will be sent there for not repenting and believing in the Lord Jesus Christ
Nah there's nothing after death. Heaven and Hell are just cope.
Wait, he actually died?
What happens after death, OP? And how do you know?
I don't wanna die
Too bad, you're alive so you die.
I don't believe in my religion because I'm afraid of dying. Belief fueled by coping over fear of death is a foundation of sand.
There's simply no reason to fear death. If heaven is real, then great, if its not, that's also fine
wrong
This holds zero weight to people who nearly died and managed to make peace with death in that moment. I like Larkin, but he's out of his element there. Probably due to a lack of relevant experience.