Are there any books, grounded in history or personal accounts from war or whatever, that can shift my mindset from total hatred of everything and thinking people are all disgusting beasts? I am tired of answers like
>ow the edge
>just get therapy lol
>just embrace christ lol
>people are human beans you have to lower your expectations lol
>just stop thinking about it lol
And other gay dismissals that only reinforced my hateful thoughts. Is there anythng that can really change my mind that isn't just some form of drinking the cool-aid? I am just so tired of hating everythng and everyone, it really drains you.
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have a nice day you fricking imbecile
I'm too busy winning the game of life to kill myself m8, suicide is normally domain of impotent bitter little misanthrope b***hes like you 🙂
Stop reading anything labeled post-modern. Really don't read anything published after 1940.
Don't listen to any music post 1990
Don't watch any movies post 1990; be very discerning with movies from 1970-1990.
Do not look at any paintings, sculptures, etc post 1960.
Do not watch TV.
The contemporary age is almost wholesale dedicated to depressing, cynical, ugly works. The artists will destroy something you believe in- whether it's religion, truth, beauty, your faith in humanity, etc- while giving you a wry, ironic, knowing smile. They take pride in destroying the hopes of as many as possible. You are at war with these people for your mind, and they are winning over the collective.
Before you say it, taking these preventative actions is not drinking the kool-aid. It's putting it down. These people have sold you the idea that the world is ugly and people are evil, but for 6,000+ years, all the way up until 60 years ago, artists saw Beauty in the world and tried to help others see it.
You have an innate ability to see that Beauty, but your ability that's been under assault by traitors to mankind, modern artists. Once you rediscover your abilities, you will be able to relax the rules a little and find the gems that are still being created today, but you must always be careful. They are getting better, subtler, at disguising their cynicism as beauty, and if you are not constantly aware, you'll find yourself in their grasps yet again. They will tell you their cynicism is the truth, and they are very convincing at making it appear that way. They will tell you that all the things you believe in are illusions which are better disbanded. They are Lying. Stay on guard brother.
>These people have sold you the idea that the world is ugly and people are evil, but for 6,000+ years, all the way up until 60 years ago, artists saw Beauty in the world and tried to help others see it.
Yeah, & those heroes of the past accomplished this feat by hermetically confining themselves to dead, irrelevant media lmfao
>Stop reading anything labeled post-modern. Really don't read anything published after 1940.
>Don't listen to any music post 1990
>Don't watch any movies post 1990; be very discerning with movies from 1970-1990.
>Do not look at any paintings, sculptures, etc post 1960.
>Do not watch TV.
I don't do any of these things. I don't listen to music anymore or watch shit from any period. I've started to hate it all several years ago.
Everything before this age defaults to Christianity as a copout from human immorality and I don't believe in God.
Is this just something you have to accept once you're older? That everything is filthy and disgusting?
Doesn't know of The One, The All,
>gets upset at life and thinks everything is ugly
Typical moron
And in any case, regardless of whether or not the prostituted artists of these or previous times are indeed trying to sell me a cynical vision of the world, I do live in this era. I keep seeing this sort of thinking into the people I have to live with. I am not sure how much impact Christian belief did in fact have upon the common man but I sincerely doubt it had any. Whatever facade of morality there was in the past was mostly held up by the fact people lived in small, tight-knit society where it would be easy to be seen and judged for e.g. cheating on your husband, and if you were abusing your children in your own home nobody gave a frick. If you see rural societies you can still see this sort of thinking and they are filled with garbage to the brim, except it's a different flavor of it. Men have always behaved like animals in times of war simply because the rules of society had no authority to back them up. Human morality seems to be all a giant game of chicken. The artists are lying but things are indeed ugly. It doesn't matter if this was a self-fulfilling prophecy.
All I've ever been told about this is that I am embittered and I need therapy, which means I need someone to give me pills that make me stop thinking and feeling because that's what they do. I have tried taking that shit, it did nothing except make me feel numb. I am genuinely tired, like physically tired of feeling nothing but disgust.
>OP
yes anon ow the edge
why is it impossible to have a conversation about feeling jaded and bitter? yes I am jaded and bitter. what am I supposed to do except drug myself into a stupor? nobody ever offers an actual answer in this conversation
I’m kind of the opposite. I find men beautiful. The idea of war and killing another man is foreign to me.
I think straight men especially the ones with let’s say more traditional “masculine energy” kind of dislike their fellow man. They can be friends with them but everything is competition or a game (see Blood Meridian) and they are always trying to beat their fellow man.
The desire for women amplifies this and everything becomes about wining the girl. This leads to the accumulation of wealth and status (which men perceive as what women want). Ultimately in some this leads to being disgusted with men (hence the visceral reaction to other men’s penises or men kissing etc or even something benign like losing to someone).
There’s no cure. You are who you are and people like you have existed for millennia. I could tell you about how men are beautiful - the stubble on their face, the fish bone of hair to and below their waist, their logical disposition to the world, the strong arms, the delightful salty taste of their…
I’m not sure it matters because you’ll never see and feel what I see and I’ll never see and feel what you see.
Religon was made for people like you….to give you a rule book. By following the rule book you can ‘win’ and go to heaven.
Your love of men seems to be enirely informed by a sexual drive. I obviously feel the same sexual drive when I think of women, but I think I may have never loved any of the people I've been with. I tend to discard people easily once there is something that corrupts them in my view. I have a very structured, rigid system in my mind that closes the gates of affection very easily and I doubt I could say I could ever love anyone this way. If anything love should be about compromise. Even if I believed in God and rewards in the afterlife I would've dropped the religion the instant I was told to forgive.
Thanks for the actual book ref, but I really wanted something grounded in fact, like a journal or something like that. I have a hard time with fiction.
>. I tend to discard people easily once there is something that corrupts them in my view. I have a very structured, rigid system in my mind that closes the gates of affection very easily and I doubt I could say I could ever love anyone this way.
its completely human to be disgusted by our fellow humans, especially in a corrupted system that bends the good will of individuals for survival. also the nature of human being has in itself very destructive instincts, that sometimes make me feel that it is (the creation) in itself flawed. but you and me are bot exempt from this, we are all prone to fail, and when. you make big shit, because everybody does, and look yourself on the mirror you will these people that you hate. and or you hate yourself too, or you start to understand this error prone nature as a global trait, and not just for others. "nobody is special" but at the same time everyone is
also sorry, no book and humans beans argument but its not about lower expectations, its about reality
>I have a hard time with fiction.
NGMI
On the Marble Cliffs by Ernst Jünger
Fury is prepared to die at any moment, but love curtails its drive until the ultimate moment; hatred makebelieves itself to be prepared to die at any moment, but addiction/attachment retails its drive for primal moments.
Preserve voice for princely flame; harness scream for heroic blaze.
What's this from?
Are you an imbecile, or just pretending?
I’ve been there. In fact, I’m sorta there now– not even moments of titanic hatred, but also moments of titanic boredom, or nausea, near exact to the feeling of pushing away your food not because you are full but because you don’t want to eat.
My advice? Lean into it. Feel the hatred. Feel the nihilism. Feel the boredom and the disgust and sit with it. If you’re lucky, eventually, you’ll glitch and suddenly feel a moment of happiness or fervor, and you’ll realize what it’s like to feel happy despite. If you’re lucky.
>shift my mindset from total hatred of everything and thinking people are all disgusting beasts
Probably but how much shift are we talking about, how would you trust yourself afterwards if too much shift happened? Like how would you go from thinking "there is litter everywhere in this subway car, the seats are sticky and that phone-blasted monkey music is too loud, a violent purge is the only sensible solution" to "well, it's actually just because of socio-economic factors and throwing enough money at this might actually solve it this time, we're all perfectly equal redeemable children of God after all, Tolstoevsky talks about this"?
You need to outgrow this mindset. There is everything in the world. It's not just "some place" that can be described by a single adjective.
Unironically try a big dose of acid or something similar. Afterwards go on a big journey. Not just some trip as a tourist; not some fake experience you buy with money, but travel the world. You'll see all kinds of shit.
Then, after enough years on the road, write the book you described you need at your current stage in life.
Every age has its own unique moral problems that people living in it experience and contrary to popular belief, we don't live at the end of history.
Just so I don't leave you without a single recommendation, your plight reminds me of the initial setting of Dante's inferno. A dude facing the problems of the time he's living in loses his way in life because there's a certain issue he can't come to terms with. After becoming depressed and looking through a library of the writings of great men from the ages, he comes across those of Virgil, which seem to resonate with him. Using his stuff as guidance in his reflections, he takes a metaphorical journey through hell, which lets him slowly come to terms with human nature, by putting himself in the shoes of sinners from the past (and present), for in order to reject sin one must first come to understand it. This all takes place among the political and spiritual turmoil of the time.
Don't forget to look at the descriptions in the book as theatrical allegory. The "spirit" of Virgil isn't much different from the flatline in Neuromancer. Except the main character is using his own "hardware" (his head) to run the dead person's read only memory (ROM) in order to "converse" with him. The "dark forest" the main character gets lost in is a metaphor for him losing his way in life, etc. Then there's the "she-wolf", but I'll let you figure out that one on your own.
Just note that there isn't a way for you to go full flower-power all-is-love. Evil men who corrupt that which is good deserve, nay, require your hatred. Just don't forget, you shouldn't take the world too personally.
I could also recommend you some stuff on ZEN, but honestly, you're better off coming up with that on your own for now.
Honestly I fricking love Nietzsche. Geneology of Morals or the Gay Science
O, why should wrath be mute, and fury dumb?
I am no baby, I, that with base prayers
I should repent the evils I have done:
Ten thousand worse than ever yet I did
Would I perform, if I might have my will;
If one good deed in all my life I did,
I do repent it from my very soul.