(Part 1)
19M American in college completing my first year, I will try to keep it short but some backstory is needed.
My dad is from Spain and comes from a wealthy family, think something like the Vanderbilt family. He was the eldest of 5 siblings and as such was raised to take over eventually. Around my age, while studying at college in America, his dad died unexpectedly so he went back to Spain for the funeral. His mother asked him to take a break from school to comfort her and also help deal with handling the various companies and assets of the family.
To put it briefly, he chickened out and decided to leave the day after the funeral and go back to finish college without saying anything. He has never made peace with his family or tried to help, never held a job, and never really did anything meaningful. He also dropped the ball on being a present father and raising me, totally destroying my mom's life.
My dad never took me to visit Spain because he is the outcast of the family but we went last Christmas as turning 18 was sort of a big deal and all, keep in mind the only other time they had seen me was when I was crawling on the floor and couldn't talk. It seems like despite what happened they still have money, I don't know the particulars, but it seems like my grandma runs a pretty tight ship. He never taught me Spanish either, although everyone speaks English but when they don't I struggle to follow the conversation. My grandmother's heart is clearly broken though, her house hasn't changed at all since my grandfather died it seems like ever since what my dad did she has just been waiting to die.
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(Part 2)
It's been a year since then and I want to write to my grandmother, she is the matriarch of the family and since none of the other kids were supposed to take over, they all kind of went off and did their own thing, meaning living off an allowance from my grandmother and fricking around. I value tradition and legacy in the way she does and I am the only direct descendant. My family's name and thousands of years of lineage die with me along with all our wealth if I don't step in and try to sort stuff out and get the businesses set up again.
I am looking for advice with a letter I am going to send to her. I figured I would share interesting parts of the past 15 years of my life that she missed and how I want to be closer to the family seeing as they treated me better than my mom or dad have my whole life, not that I would say that in the letter. I want to explain somehow that I understand how badly my dad fricked up and how I am not like that and I actually care about the family like she does, but it's hard to word that respectfully because as much as he fricked up, he's still her son and I am sure she loves him on some level. So, if it's even possible, how do I communicate that I want to take over the businesses and save the family without sounding manipulative or opportunistic?
You can't.
You would have to put the effort in. Aka move there, learn the language, and put the time in for free without pay. You have to convince them you are worth the risk, by taking the risk. It's impossible to do otherwise.
i stopped reading here:
>I value tradition and legacy in the way she does and I am the only direct descendant.
anon, just write her a fricking letter.
>dear memaw i love you and my dad is a homosexual degenerate. I want to learn more about the family. can i come visit you for a while
oh i read the rest and your actually asking for help writing a letter KEK
You need to build a personal relationship with her first before you can even think of doing stuff like wanting to take everything over.
This is worth dropping everything else and living in Spain just to live with her and get close to her personally.
I'd just write a simple letter saying "I have always been interested in my extended family that my dad had left behind, could I stay there for a while and get to know you and that side of my family better?" as an excuse to get closer to her to stay building a personal relationship. You ease her into the idea of you taking over in person, not dump the whole thing in a single impersonal letter.
This is worth abandoning college over imo, you don't need it with such wealth. I'd take that gamble.
Also, here's an idea if you go through with my plan... learn Spanish from her personally, in person. That would build a good bond for starters.
Thank you I will remember that.
yeah, I agree in person.
Go gamble on life anon. Everyone does college. And college can wait. You'll regret it your entire life if you don't.
You literally can't. By definition you are being manipulative and opportunistic. Maybe write to your grandma because you actually have something to say. And if you are interested in money then just say that and accept you are just doing it for the money. Or both. If they are really Vanderbilt rich then they are used to it people probably ask for money all of the time. Also if you are 19 nobody is going to trust you to run their business unless you are truly exceptional and have proven that you can run a business. Even then nobody is going to trust their business to a 19 year old. If you can just get a job because of your connections that would be a good start. Then 20 years down the line maybe you can climb to the top
To clarify a little more, I am actually interested in the family beyond monetary gain. I want to be a leader or someone exceptional such as my grandfather or great-grandfather was, I'm sure money will come with it but it goes beyond that for me and I'm ready to put in the blood and sweat.
I hear what you are saying, I am a nobody right now, but how do I work to change that? I have a month or two before summer and I want to visit again, how do you think I can stand out?
Put your thoughts into ChatGPT
It will help organize them
You need to to her in person and tell her that you want to be involved and see what she says. Anything else is a waste of time and too desperate.
>wanting to take up the mantle of family tradition and birth rite is "manipulative"
Bullshit.
>Even then nobody is going to trust their business to a 19 year old.
Correct. If he's actually serious about this, he needs to realize that there's a long road ahead of him just to prepare for *potentially* receiving a leadership position.
Its not family tradition and not his birth rite he said in the fricking post that his dad was an outcast and wasn't involved in the family. He's 19 and is asking for advice on how to word a letter to convince his grandma to grant access to wealth and power. The OP has to be humble and do things for the right reason otherwise he's gonna get rekt. Like I said OP just see if you can get a job and stay in touch with anyone in your family who is willing to mentor you. If you have the spark of greatness or whatever your grandpa had it'll take years to prove you can actually capitalize on that. If you wrote your grandma and she crowned you fricking king of the company you'd realize pretty quickly that it wasn't what you really wanted and running a business is hard as frick
Soap opera life lmao.
Speaking of Ethpanya tho Hail Franco tho kek
My grandpa was best friends with him and went hunting with him all the time, there is a photo in our living room of them shaking hands, I'll try to find a picture.
Why don’t you learn Castilian? It’s not that tough in the grand scale of things. Spend 6 months doing it and try to communicate with her. Make communique with her in that time period and then show her you want to be a part of the family and not your father. Your father didn’t do anything wrong btw but your grandmother’s sensibilities sound gynocratic, if you want to go back into that fold just do it but dont insult your pops kek.
>rich people raise shitty kids
>shitty rich kid has son
>son is a shitty person
imagine my shock
by 4-5 generation the money is all gone anyway.
Please explain to me how this kid is a "shitty person" by any sense of the phrase...? Unlike his father, his first instinct isn't "abandon family and run away state-side like a pussy".
Not reading all that. This is the advice I'll give you from a business owner. You're not ready to take over shit. Tell her you want to keep the business in the family and you're willing to do this but you want to start from the ground up and work your way up to the top. She will not give you the business right now but if you prove yourself she may in the future. Best of luck anon. It won't hurt to find out.
Pretty much this. There's a ton of prep required for something like this, especially in the absence of having been a) raised in the culture/language from birth, and b) having been groomed for a position in the business from childhood.
1. watch succession (hbo show), you are greg
2. go to spain and learn spanish
3. you don't know anything
4. ask what you can study/how you can become involved. you will need to work for years to get anywhere
You guys are giving me good advice I think, thank you.
I watched Succession and yes I am pretty much Greg, but more closely related and hopefully not as dumb, like everyone says I know nothing and I am not saying I do, but I am honestly verbally pretty skilled and always have been. I have been able to talk my way out of anything my whole life wether that's good or bad you can tell me.
Adding more information if people are curious.
I don't know how far the money goes back but my great-grandfather started a construction company. He rebuilt part of the National Bank and because it was Spain in the 40s, he got a job as a banker just because he did that, he also raised cattle apparently in his free time. He made some roads and did government contract work for Franco when he was in power, my cousins hate it but my grandma loves Franco, kek.
My grandfather took over construction but also sold watches and israeliteelry, he had a deal with Omega where only he was allowed to sell them in Madrid at the time and he spent a lot of time in Switzerland.
Like the guy said before, a lot of my family seem to be like the show 'Succession', they don't exactly do much more like 'hobby' jobs. My dad's brother is an amazing artist who won awards but didn't really do much with it and one of his sisters works in the movies as a set designer, another has a radio station and restaurants. They are dysfunctional but I love them, and I think being there kind of brought everyone together, my uncle quit smoking so he could 'live longer to see me'. I have no doubt they love me, I don't want to get into it but at least when I was born they really made an effort to see me and put differences aside with my dad as much as they could.
I know I shit-talked my dad sort of in my post but I am no longer mad at him, frankly its sort of sad the way he's spent his life but as long as he doesn't get in the way of me seeing my family anymore I could care less what he spends the rest of his life doing.
>I could care less what he spends the rest of his life doing.
Imagine though you put in the all the years of work to be the worthy successor... then he suddenly pops back up at the last minute when it's succession time to take it all away from you, him being the rightful heir.
I'd watch that show.
He's 100% getting Logan'd.
Your cousins sound like gays kek, you’re your grandfathers redemption. In knives out you’d be that little dude on IQfy ordering drone strikes while his libtard cousins cried impotently. Viva Franco and frick the communists up their prostitute asses. Hail that Francoist gemmer Salvador Dali as well kek
you sure this isn't the plot of some obscure spanish soap opera, OP?