How do I get out of Jury duty? Seriously.

How do I get out of Jury duty? Seriously.

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    they will ask leading questions during jury selection. the answer they want from you should be obvious. just give a wrong answer that has a little crazy to it. (i believe the ten commandments are the supreme of the land, i've always wanted to be a cop but didn't meet the requirements, people who do (crime x) should get (very disproportionate harsh justice)). both the prosecution and the defense get to strike jurors so you have two opposing parties to sound unreasonable to and if you can't manage that you deserve jury duty.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Checked. This makes sense. But don't they expect this sort of response and misdirect or avoid wording that would generate these kinds of responses?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Then wear camouflage clothing and combat boots and just look really pissed off the whole time you'll be excused even if you give completely normal answers, it will make you look even crazier

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      How do you know what the wrong answer is? Don’t they ask questions in such a way that you can’t tell if they’re the defense or the prosecutor, so you your “wrong” answer is actually the right one from the other’s perspective?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >stupid
        >nervous
        >easily confused
        there's no hope for you. you're getting seated on the jury. probably as foreman.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Sounds like you don’t have a good rebuttal tbh

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            don't exhaust yourself with me, you're gonna have a lot of bad arguments to evaluate from your box seats at the courthouse.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Yep. I got a questionnaire before I had to show up. One question Asked where I got my news from and I put Fox News and IQfy. The jury selection was for a Black person that torched an FBI car. I was not selected

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        yes this is a new, and imo illegal question of data mining....last I was there it was easy, I was not vaxxed, did not want to be in a room with vaxxed shedders and I got my "news" from infowars IQfy b***hute and harry vox.....some of which may or may not be true....but ya they didn't pick me

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    tell them don't make me say it

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Say you think your state's gun laws are too restrictive, they threw me out after I said that.

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Tell them you don't like cops, judges or government employees in general and you have no faith in the U.S. justice system.

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Check the box saying you have to watch your kid that day

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Sorry I didn't know, I never check my mail

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    If the only jurors are the ones too stupid to figure out how to get out of jury duty then I hope I never get arrested. Seriously it's pretty fricking obvious that they don't want you to have any preconceived beliefs that would impact your decision.
    Me personally I always try to get onto a jury and lie on all the questions to seem as normal as possible. Then if it's a white man I will use jury nullification, and if it's a black guy/any other demographic I go full ruckus. I can and will wait out everyone else until I get my way.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      You made laugh real good. Last sentence was the best. You are funny, man.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Thanks anon, glad to know someone else appreciates my humor
        I thought of another skit where a gym obsessed guy has an office job but wants to work out, so he smuggles a bench press and weights and everything into one of the bathrooms at work, and he has a great time until everyone in the office starts worrying because of how frequently he goes to the bathroom, loudly grunting and coming out all sweaty. That's as far as I've thought of it.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          I kept a sleeping bag in my desk at my last job. I'd "work late" lock my office door and just sleep for a couple hours on the floor. The cleaning lady would always ask me if I was working hard. She was the only one there after hours. She knew. I knew she knew. I snore like a frickin banshee. Good times.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Were you homeless?

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Tell them you hate Black folk, gays, trannies, israelites and police

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Just ask politely for them to select someone else.

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    "I believe in Jury Nulification, and intend to educate my fellow jurors before we begin."

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Tell them you don't like cops, judges or government employees in general and you have no faith in the U.S. justice system.

      You can go to jail for this BTW

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Under what law?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        https://www.aclu.org/news/free-speech/its-perfectly-constitutional-talk-about-jury-nullification

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Just tell them you are very excited to exercise the right to jury nullification and educate your fellow jurors about it. They will not select you lmao

        Under what law?

        You'd never get the whole line out before being removed from the room. At worst a few days for contempt, but likely not even a fine.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >source: my ass

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Unironically tell them that you're racist and tell the defense attorney to use a strike on you.

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Just don’t show up. They can’t prove you received a letter in the mail and the law isn’t going to come after someone for not showing up to jury duty.

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Just tell them you are very excited to exercise the right to jury nullification and educate your fellow jurors about it. They will not select you lmao

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      You can also just commit a felony and you lose your right to be a juror for life.
      Then you never have to worry about it again.

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    literally just dont go or say: I dont feel comfortable driving on the freeway

    t. 20 years avoiding JD

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Does that actually work

  15. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >34
    >never been called for my DUTY to serve on a jury of my PEERS
    BULLSHIT

  16. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Say you hate niqquers.

  17. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Just don't show up

  18. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    At jury selection tell them you hate Black folk/jews. Depending on whether it’s a violent or white collar crime

  19. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    there will be a questionnaire, make sure you express your disdain for the legal system, the court, the officers, and that you have prejudice based on your personal experiences of how you and people you know have been treated in the past...this is why we see very few black men between 18-45 on juries, they all know someone or themselves who have been harassed by the court system, so they can not be impartial

  20. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I got out of jury duty by asking too many questions during selection. We live in a fricking dictatorship.

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