I haven't been getting offers for helpdesk positions with this resume. Can someone help me?
I haven't been getting offers for helpdesk positions with this resume. Can someone help me?
I haven't been getting offers for helpdesk positions with this resume. Can someone help me?
I know this is a bait thread but as someone who has to read resume's it's still funny the shit I see
>people forget often we can see their email avatar/icon so many fricking anime porn faces or some meme
>references are literally trust me bro with no linkedin to validate so need to throw the email into google and 'I see what I see'
>it's another "education with nothing more than yeah graduated duh"
>no volunteer work, internship, or basic b***h corporate HD monkey and have to guess if they know office manners
>it's another include my hobbies as fluff resume
>actual useful information that pertains to the job description has like 1 vague line about it
Dunno how many times I've had an awesome resume come over my desk and some moron has a e-girl aheago face email profile picture and don't dare forward that to HR.
>people forget often we can see their email avatar/icon so many fricking anime porn faces or some meme
We didn't forget, we just don't mind filtering stuffy work environments
the hilarious irony is that you're so out of touch you don't even realize the liability that your kind of autism poses
Funniest thing was I was working in europe last month, our company doesn't care so long as you know how to properly show and act like a professional in the office.
>Why would a resume go to your desk before HR?
Actually see if the requirements meet the posting and if it's worth the time or a copy and paste off someone else's resume. The jobs I've worked for often do technical first to validate the certs if required are there then do a light look over at it, forward a few candidates to HR based on if the skills are there. HR's job is to make sure you're not a felon, can pass a drug test, and are able to be hired after a background check.
>do your fricking job and call the references listed like you're supposed
You know how hard this is? To call someone probably at a job or possibly in-front of a client to play catch with them in regards just trying to find out if your BS's hyper inflated resume *might* be true? Let me pop your email/name into linkedin, Oh okay dude worked at X and yup he has connections to said place he probably did what he said. That is how most people do it. Spending 10-15 minutes attempting to hunt down and guess if they will call back is not worth anyone's time given the amount of resumes that come in for any one position. I'll call and ask if your references are on your resume AND linkedin, but not solely bruh my uncle is legit he has a gmail.com address!
Funny thing is that public search from bots has been disabled by default for a while, you have to publish the page as public for people to actually look with no account or connections to said region.
>permissive enough to let in the 0 IQ hiring managers who also view a locked-down profile as suspicious and unhireable?
Don't care if you lock down your linked in, hell mine is just Name+current job+exp one liner. Unless you add me or have mutual contacts can't get much else. Learning how to present yourself is important anon
>You know how hard this is? To call someone probably at a job or possibly in-front of a client to play catch with them in regards just trying to find out if your BS's hyper inflated resume *might* be true?
you know this is how it's worked successfully for decades, right? and you're just a lazy piece of shit? yes i do know how hard it is, i have been in a position of hiring before, and i did this obnoxious call tag because that's my fricking job. you're expecting someone to come in giving a 10 on effort but you're doing a 1? that makes you a complete piece of shit.
>mine is just Name+current job+exp one liner
'name + current job' is enough for 'current job' to start receiving threatening phone calls. maybe i should make it 'name + your job' instead, so you get to enjoy the issues. it would be easier for me after all, you know how hard it is to have to keep shit on the DL like this to have a normal life? that's your excuse for being a piece of shit, i might as well do the same thing.
>>You know how hard this is? To call someone probably at a job or possibly in-front of a client to play catch with them in regards just trying to find out if your BS's hyper inflated resume *might* be true?
>you know this is how it's worked successfully for decades, right? and you're just a lazy piece of shit? yes i do know how hard it is, i have been in a position of hiring before, and i did this obnoxious call tag because that's my fricking job. you're expecting someone to come in giving a 10 on effort but you're doing a 1? that makes you a complete piece of shit.
>>mine is just Name+current job+exp one liner
>'name + current job' is enough for 'current job' to start receiving threatening phone calls. maybe i should make it 'name + your job' instead, so you get to enjoy the issues. it would be easier for me after all, you know how hard it is to have to keep shit on the DL like this to have a normal life? that's your excuse for being a piece of shit, i might as well do the same thing.
LOL someone had a bad interview experience recently
>LOL someone had a bad interview experience recently
that would imply one can even get an interview anywhere without posting your fricking home address and social security number on linkedin like all the other homosexuals in the world. doesn't matter if you "can" hide shit, it's seen as a red flag because it means the hiring manager has to do something other than smoke weed and click next on linkedin all day.
don't normalize hiring managers being lazy pieces of shit.
>that would imply one can even get an interview anywhere without posting your fricking home address and social security number on linkedin like all the other homosexuals in the world. doesn't matter if you "can" hide shit, it's seen as a red flag because it means the hiring manager has to do something other than smoke weed and click next on linkedin all day.
>don't normalize hiring managers being lazy pieces of shit.
cope cope cope cope cope cope cope
>you know, i hope i someday work with you, so you can be arrested and interviewed with me when my father calls in a bomb threat for the place i work in my coworkers' names again.
lmao if you can ever manage getting around being so dense that not being able to use linkedin filters you
>that makes you a complete piece of shit.
Anon after posting a position it's not unusual to get +100 resume's dumped into the inbox. Generally half are people just spamming the "Apply Now" button on indeed or somewhere with a resume not even for the position. So let's say 60 to be generous, after that it's seeing who's obviously BS'ing my time vs. who I can narrow down quicker.
Fun fact: Linkedin is the quickest and most efficient way to validate that during anyone in HR or my day.
Most people never really pick up for a phone call during normal work days unless your reference is quite literally mom dad and neighbor. On top of that during a normal 9-5 work day it could take 2-3 days to work down a time to get a valid time to talk, cat and mouse isn't what I am after. Besides I have dozens more applicants at the time who've already applied and are easy to validate <5 minutes, time is money in a job, your inability to promote yourself is not my problem.
Linkedin is
>Look up applicant
>oh okay dude has his resume matching his current/last job
>alright has connections to the place he worked and school matches
>mark as potential forward to HR
You're applying for a profession not a job at wendy's where word of mouth is generally 'good enough' and HR background check is fine.
Why would a resume go to your desk before HR?
>references are literally trust me bro with no linkedin to validate so need to throw the email into google and 'I see what I see'
do your fricking job and call the references listed like you're supposed to you lazy fricking piece of shit homosexual. i'm not going to create a linkedin account with all my public info on it so my insane family members can start spamming my coworkers with death threats again in an attempt to find out where i live.
>do your fricking job and call the references listed like you're supposed to you lazy fricking piece of shit homosexual. i'm not going to create a linkedin account with all my public info on it so my insane family members can start spamming my coworkers with death threats again in an attempt to find out where i live.
your inability to manage figuring out linkedin privacy settings isn't the rest of the working world's problem. its your problem genius
and how am i going to set them to be aggressive enough to keep my insane family out, but permissive enough to let in the 0 IQ hiring managers who also view a locked-down profile as suspicious and unhireable?
YOU are the problem for requiring moronic linkedin privacy violating bullshit instead of doing your job, lazy piece of shit.
linkedin needs to be fricking deleted.
>and how am i going to set them to be aggressive enough to keep my insane family out, but permissive enough to let in the 0 IQ hiring managers who also view a locked-down profile as suspicious and unhireable?
no idea what to tell you, i have my privacy settings locked down tight and it's literally never once been an issue, let alone even a topic of discussion. not sure what's lost on you
>YOU are the problem for requiring moronic linkedin privacy violating bullshit instead of doing your job, lazy piece of shit.
lmao, i'm not the hiring manager, settle down sperg lord.
>linkedin needs to be fricking deleted.
you're probably not wrong, but jesus christ how the frick are you seriously gonna get filtered by it? stop acting so incapable ffs
>are you seriously gonna get filtered by it? stop acting so incapable ffs
i know how to work it you fricking moron. the issue is lazy homosexuals hiring who refuse to do what used to be commonplace and expected (conventional reference checking) and who also panic and delete the resume if they see a linkedin profile they have to add before seeing any relevant info on.
>i know how to work it you fricking moron.
lmao
>the issue is lazy homosexuals hiring who refuse to do what used to be commonplace and expected (conventional reference checking) and who also panic and delete the resume if they see a linkedin profile they have to add before seeing any relevant info on.
obviously you don't. you can make it out to be everyone else's fault but your own, but until you are willing to acknowledge and work with your own shortcomings, you're just going to stay an angry jobless little trog
you know, i hope i someday work with you, so you can be arrested and interviewed with me when my father calls in a bomb threat for the place i work in my coworkers' names again.
Bro, what the frick happened with your family?
My condolences either way.
>Bro, what the frick happened with your family?
drug use, law enforcement history, and absolute seething hatred over my escape/rejection/"disrespect" from their fricked up little crew to find independence
>My condolences either way.
thank you, but it's been essentially a death sentence to fitting in anywhere and getting work or pretty much doing anything now that everything requires public disclosure and attestation of your identity for some absolutely fricked reason.
Meds, you need them
i'll take some right after the braindead hiring homosexuals who think it's impossible to evaluate a human prior to the days of linkedin take theirs. adderall or something, maybe, something to motivate them to do their fricking jobs for once in their life maybe, idk.
>everyone else sucks, not ME!!!
yea OK
well, yeah. no, that seems pretty obvious to me when the problem is "i don't want to be hunted down by crazy people" and everyone else is going "why not?? it makes my day 2% harder if you don't, so please just deal with it!"
>well, yeah. no, that seems pretty obvious to me when the problem is "i don't want to be hunted down by crazy people"
>stalkers are never real
>family is never crazy
ok smartass, for sure.
i hope someone from your past suddenly decides they want to destroy your life.
>i hope someone from your past suddenly decides they want to destroy your life.
Most people do this thing called growing up or simply stop caring unless you did something like kill their dog.
Besides what do you think people do after crazy ex's lose their shit over some employee you have
>hey anon some crazy lady saying she knows you called and said some shit
>"Huh wtf sorry about that I dunno what's going on I stopped talking to them forever ago maybe they are drunk or something"
>oh okay as long as you are aware just please keep it out of the office
>let HR inform continued harassment against an employee or clients of the company will be faced with legal action
>ohshi- calls stop
Done.
>Most people do this thing called growing up
most people, yeah. most mentally balanced people.
here, let me revise your scenario you gave with something that happened at my last job
>show up to work one day
>police outside, people standing by their cars
>boss points to me as i come up
>arrested, put in back of squad car for a half hour
>interviewed
>arrested for calling in a bomb threat, implicating coworker on my team, too
>listen to the audio
>my fricking dad
>left a voicemail about how my coworker and i are going to plant bombs under the stairwells on <day> and <receptionist> should leave early
>police take my phone
>an hour later, i'm released
>nothing happens to my dad as usual
the only reason i think i was released same-day was that i had already warned my boss about my family and the things they'll do, and he was telling them about this and past situations. but because my family is no longer in country, nothing ever happens.
later i find out the HR morons posted a "team page" that had a picture of me and my (somewhat unique) name on their site from an office event and i was standing next to coworker and receptionist.
ok, bring on the accusations of being some schizo family-hating larper, i'm ready and used to it.
>"Hey guys my DAD called in a felony and police just said OH DAMN THAT WAS A GOOD OLE FATHER AND SON PRANK! HEHEHE. Even the business didn't do shit because it was TOO DAMN FUNNY compared to scaring everyone shitless and losing countless dollars in business!"
If this isn't some elaborate troll you seriously need meds, any business or government would instantly kick your dad's shit in for doing something like that.
try getting someone arrested in mexico with relatively shitty evidence for something that inconvenienced a bunch of randos in a relatively-small office building in oregon. no, really, try. let me know if you figure out how to make anyone give enough of a shit to actually do something that overcomes local corruption and laziness and yields you anything other than a completely toothless """legal order""" restricting contact where you live
whatever, this is what it always devolves into, someone so sure that being 100% public is so OK and so possible for everyone that they'll defend the stupidest fricking shit and then at the very end everyone always just doesn't believe it. bye.
Anon if your dad actually called in a threat like that FBI and other organizations would not drop a claim that severe. Shit like that would be rung up the priority of "oh frick we might actually have a danger", and no police would just let you go after 30 minutes to a threat made like that. You could have made your schizo story believable if you lowered the severity of it happening and extended the time of questioning, but no you flew too close to the sun of BS and blew it. Meds. Now.
t. actually had to deal with work place violence and threats from ex employees.
>expocting us police/fbi to actually do there job
lol lmao even
If half of what schizo anon was on about actually happened, he would not be "just questioned for 30 minutes" homie US traffic stops take that long. That shit right there is some certified schizo posting of shit that never happened.
It's not impossible, it's just simply not worth the time and effort compared to everyone else who has a linkedin. Like tracking down people via phone and arranging times to talk is a pain in the ass since I don't know their times to call for a chat or if I will be available when they are. You're thinking incredibly narrow here and assuming I know information that I don't or can't know, for all it's worth people see unknown number and assume telemarketing scam or some other BS. Great let me wait on them to see if they remember to check voice mail, oh wait by that time I've cross referenced 5-10 other applicants and forgot about you.
If you're really concerned about privacy to the degree you are stating here why even apply for jobs online? For all you know you're sending them to honeypots to sell to recruiting agencies in who knows where.
Linkedin isn't hard to secure and unless you're going around using Real_name @ email to run a furry porn website for hitler then I doubt anyone is even going to bother with looking you up online.
A name + job title + years worked is nothing. Hell, IIRC Linkedin can block your current employer until you add them as a connection. I'm not sure if schizo levels now or just a dedicated troll, but you really need to look at what linkedin is these days.
>why even apply for jobs online
linkedin is frequently required for references for jobs applied for offline, as well. this has been a persistent problem for me.
>A name + job title + years worked is nothing.
>block [...] until you add them
this would be sufficient and i would do this if people hiring would actually be willing to entertain it. in my experience, they are not.
>really need to look at what linkedin is
i will take another look, because there's no escaping from the hellscape that it is in our society, but a "non-normal" non-fully-exposed public profile seems to be a huge red flag and there's nothing i can do about that, so i can't help but fricking hate the platform that seems to have created that expectation. i'm not a troll and (to the best of my knowledge) i'm not crazy, but i am definitely fed up and upset with the expectation of public presentation that linkedin seems to have created in hiring managers given my very difficult-to-mitigate circumstances.
>then I doubt anyone is even going to bother with looking you up online
the issue, stated above, is extremely unwell family members actively continuing to try and find me and frick my and my friends & coworker's shit up enough for me to move back home. this is not something our society tolerates being the victim of. it's hard to experience unless you have to deal with it, but if you're not public enough to be found, you're treated very poorly as "unverifiable".
>it's hard to experience unless you have to deal with it, but if you're not public enough to be found, you're treated very poorly as "unverifiable".
No I've dealt with it, but I simply closed my old accounts and made new ones. I realized most my crazy past people don't know or care enough to bother as I blocked their numbers and don't contact them.
Dunno your full situation but this really sounds like a case of "no one actually cares but I KNOW THEY DO!!!!", just given off from your insanely polarized posting habits.
Seriously
1) make new email with professional name
2) sign up for linkedin, maybe even have your first name be your or a nickname
3) never tell anyone your email outside of your resume and for resume purposes only
4) company searches email address in linkedin comes up with you
5) ????
6) profit!
>the issue, stated above, is extremely unwell family members actively continuing to try and find me and frick my and my friends & coworker's shit up enough for me to move back home. this is not something our society tolerates being the victim of. it's hard to experience unless you have to deal with it, but if you're not public enough to be found, you're treated very poorly as "unverifiable".
if this were true, you would have legal basis to press some kind of harassment or other domestic charges. you should either put together a case, hire a lawyer and deal with it. or just take your meds
>you would have legal basis to press some kind of harassment or other domestic charges
you'd sure fricking think so huh? that's what i thought too.
i think you might be surprised to learn how actually difficult it is to get anything meaningful done about this kind of shit short of limp-wristed restraining orders and just informing people ahead of time that there might be trouble, especially if the offender is in another, inconvenient location.
>>you would have legal basis to press some kind of harassment or other domestic charges
>you'd sure fricking think so huh? that's what i thought too.
>i think you might be surprised to learn how actually difficult it is to get anything meaningful done about this kind of shit short of limp-wristed restraining orders and just informing people ahead of time that there might be trouble, especially if the offender is in another, inconvenient location.
all these excuses but no meds or solutions
>linkedin is frequently required for references for jobs applied for offline
I've had many SWE jobs and applied to several more. I have never had a linkedin account and it's never been a requirement or issue.
It doesn't stand out much.
Try adding a quick "About Me" in a tone that hints you have the capacity to help the company reach it's goals. Sort of rephrase what their "mission" is from their website or something.
You could try experimenting with jobs that don't look too enticing. Flavor the writing with a Hemingway/Hunter Thomson writing style for shits, to see if the rate of offers for an interview increase. If they do, perhaps lightly include it into the main resume.
>helpdesk
Get more certs and maybe another degree. Don't waste your time with helpdesk. It's almost as soul crushing as working in fast food, with internal helpdesk being only marginally more tolerable.
Helpdesk is useful honestly
First, it helps show you know how to bite your tongue in the work environment.
Secondly, it shows you have some idea of IT in the work place and corporate ecosystems.
Finally, depending on the amount worked can show you are reliable.
Certs would be icing on the cake because it shows you have motivation, but helpdesk is useful if for nothing else to build your resume and prove "it touched it" in a production environment.
delete the resume and start here: https://pastebin.com/a7QasLjP
every other advice in this thread is moronic
A little actual advice from someone that has worked various levels of helpdesk/IT and done hiring: I would not hire you because there is nothing about helpdesk on your resume.
Worst case you don't have any skills applicable to helpdesk and best case you're going to leave as soon as you can find a dev job (that's okay, but don't make it so obvious).
You are not going to be writing software in a level 1-2 helpdesk job. Tell me what you know about troubleshooting computers and shit. Do you know Windows? macOS? GNU/Linux? Android? iOS? Throw in O365 and Google Workspace (you can figure them out on the spot even if you've never used them before). Sign up for a free trial of Jira Service Desk or something and poke around the UI, then throw that on your resume. Save me some training. Take a weekend to learn PowerShell, it's probably the best "bonus" skill you can have on a helpdesk application.
Play with the spacing/layout/font of your resume so a third of the page isn't blank. Regardless of how much information is on your resume, it looks like you have less knowledge and experience than you do at a glance (which is often all you're going to get).
>tfw my resume is literally the quality of this bait thread one
is it over bros? i just have 3 semesters left in uni. what kind of projects should i work on that won't look "todo app fizzbuzz" tier on there?
>I'm still in school why does my resume suck?!?!
3 semesters is enough to get an internship, go for it. costs a little time but better to have real world exp on your resume than jack shit.
I only have 1 project for a 6 person group project course about java and javafx. on a comfy and interesting internship as a full stack dev. solving a bug rn that is going deep into the hole of this product, went from frontend to backend to now db (staging db ofc). gonna poke aruond the db tomorrow, I think the query done upon a get request is messing up.
>Why can’t I get a job that a literal robot can do?
Anon, you need to look for a better job.
>There are more genuine advices about the resume than outright mockery
I know the guy who posted this is probably embarrassed as frick since some guys like OP are spamming his resume to mock him, but it's good to see some people offer advice. I hope he reads the advice and fixes his shit.
I wouldnt hire you because you are not technical. You are clearly just another kid who "wants to code"
how the FRICK are you going to help my users? How are you going to resolve desktop/office issues?
Your resume screams that you are not a serious technical person and that the job you want is not in support but in the fricking clouds.
Get out of my office.
YOUR RESUME IS FRICKING EMPTY BRO