I suddenly started feeling intense fear and panic and would start hitting myself in response to certain sounds when I was 9 or 10 years old. Other than that I was relatively normal throughout my life. Scientifically, what went wrong with my brain?
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you sure do seem to like talking about yourself on social media
Why yes I do, I thought that would be obvious.
So why not start a blog of your own and monetize your desperation for attention instead of shitting up an anonymous board with talk of yourself?
>I suddenly started feeling intense fear and panic and would start hitting myself in response to certain sounds when I was 9 or 10 years old.
Meds, drugs, allergies, auto-immune disorders? What does it mean for you to have a "relatively normal" childhood? Do you still have misophonia?
Apparently I had a minor speech delay up until 4 years which was immediately alleviated with speech therapy, I spoke during my toddler years, just not as much as I should have been. I also my first chron's flare up about 6-8 months after the symptom onset and I've only had an allergic reaction to cephalosporin, which I was never prescribed again. Fevers were rare, 2 ear infections in my early years, 2 hernias, think I had a strep infection once.
>Do you still have misophonia?
Still have it at the age of 22. Still at the same severity. I suspect it's regressive immune mediated autism at this point.
>Apparently I had a minor speech delay up until 4 years which was immediately alleviated with speech therapy, I spoke during my toddler years, just not as much as I should have been.
Developmental charts are devised by the CDC, so basically corporate-funded crap. Doesn't mean much in itself.
>Still at the same severity. I suspect it's regressive immune mediated autism at this point.
Regressive autism often is what professionals call adverse side effects they don't want to acknowledge. It sets in by the very latest at 3 or 4 and essentially is brain damage, never with 9 or 10. You developed Crohn's disease early on, usually most people develop it in their 20s, which is immune-related. It coincides with the misophonia issue. Did you ever bother desensitivizing yourself to the sounds? It seems to be to be largely psychogenic, probably a trained reflex from when you first dealt with Crohn's and others.
>Did you ever bother desensitivizing yourself to the sounds?
Desensitization was tried, I didn't really respond well to it. Thinking back mild OCD tendencies, which misophonia is usually comorbid with, may have developed around 13 along with a degree of brain fog with varying intensity throughout the years. I was looking at the possibility of infections triggering neuroinflammation causing psychiatric symptoms to spontaneously appear, but they usually seem more episodic compared to this. It's worth noting that I lived in a lymes endemic area but I was tested which showed up as negative. I've been considering running tests to see if I have anti-neuronal antibodies but I question the accuracy of some of them.
>Thinking back mild OCD tendencies, which misophonia is usually comorbid with
OCD really is one of those funny things because it can be symptomatic of so many different things. People can randomly develop very specific obsessions when put on certain drugs and no two people develop the same idiosyncracies.
Now technically, your misophonia issue could be down to a drug side effect, but they usually disappear once you're off the drugs. Also, good luck proving that.
>with a degree of brain fog with varying intensity throughout the years
Describe the brain fog. Is it attention related, sensory related, memory related, language related?
>possibility of infections triggering neuroinflammation causing psychiatric symptoms to spontaneously appear, but they usually seem more episodic compared to this
With no hard proof of an acutal neuroinflammation or a metabolical issue that affects neuron, it's just speculation at that point.
What you describe are relatively vague symptoms which all could be related to drug side effects, inflammation, genetics etc. It's a mixed bag of representations.
>Now technically, your misophonia issue could be down to a drug side effect
Unless some drug I taken way back had severely impacted my future neurodevelopment, I don't really think a drug caused it as I wasn't put on anything around at the time until afterwards due to the crohn's flare ups.
>Describe the brain fog
More cognitive and attention related, just feeling "out of it", sometimes accompanied by headaches, which I'd try to counter by drinking lots of water with only mild success. It peaked when I was 14 and slowly withered away by when I was 16, it rarely returns now. Or maybe I've grown accustomed to it.
> or a metabolical issue that affects neuron
I actually had genetic testing ran for certain genes that supposedly play a role in brain metabolism, and found mutations in my COMT MAT1A BHMT SHMT MTHFRC677 genes, I don't know if it's irrelevant pseudo-science quackery or not though.
>What specific certain sounds?
Sounds of people eating, chewing gum and lip smacking like a majority of misophonia cases are for some reason.
What specific certain sounds? Do you start feeling fear and panic thinking about these sounds?
Maybe autism? That sounds like an autism thing
What makes it strange though is how I suddenly developed these symptoms later in my life rather than at the start, if I was going to be doomed to be a low functioning case you'd think it'd be obvious from infancy.
Also I don't feel much just thinking about said sounds. Usually only when they happen or are about to happen.
Knew someone who developed somewhat similar issues around the same age, in fact I get the distinct impression there are other major similarities or correlations as well. Can happen. I'm genuinely intrigued if there's any other deviation from otherwise normal neurodevelopment. Betting money on yes.
Lots of people feel unease at the sound of lips smacking though perhaps for different reasons.
Misophonia usually develops around 7-12 from what I've heard, and it actually involves some of the motor regions of the brain so which is probably why it's more closely linked to OCD. Definitely a strange illness.
Frankly, I think you whine too much.
>Sounds of people eating, chewing gum and lip smacking
Do you want to punch yourself when you make these noises? No? Well, there we are.
>Maybe autism? That sounds like an autism thing
There's hardly a thing that nowadays doesn't count as autism. Makes it more problematic because a shit ton of side effects fall within the behavioral classification of autism.
>More cognitive and attention related, just feeling "out of it", sometimes accompanied by headaches, which I'd try to counter by drinking lots of water with only mild success.
Your description is too borderline. I can't say it's severe to the point where it could actually indicate an underlying medical problem. If you felt lethargic, saw no purpose in life or similarly, I would opt for depression but then that would explain nothing either.
>Sounds of people eating, chewing gum and lip smacking like a majority of misophonia cases are for some reason.
Ye, this again is a borderline-case. These sounds annoy a lot of people. It doesn't seem to me that you being annoyed by these sounds is abnormal rather than your reaction to it.
>I don't know if it's irrelevant pseudo-science quackery or not though.
Genetically induced metabolical issues are usually visible early on. But they're not always...
>What makes it strange though is how I suddenly developed these symptoms later in my life rather than at the start, if I was going to be doomed to be a low functioning case you'd think it'd be obvious from infancy.
Yes, which is why I questioned you on drugs, meds and diseases. You only had them after you developed the issue, which again indicates that it's more psychosocial. You probably never bothered with these sounds because you naturally filtered them. Once you stopped doing that, you were unable to properly deal with the negative reaction that slowly escalated into you punching yourself. Do you happen to inflict that kind of self-injury in other situations too?
The brainfog was more like that my thinking was slowed down and that I wasn't operating at the capacity I should have been, I'd sometimes just sit there during those moments kinda almost dozing off, I was still awake and conscious but I would be extremely fatigued and barely thinking, everything was hazy like some heavy dream or nightmare. It's true that almost everybody finds those sounds disgusting some people seem legitimately enraged by it and as you said are unable to filter it out, but the consistency in the types of sounds is what makes it sounds like a disorder, that and there is MRI evidence that this disorder exists.
>Genetically induced metabolical issues are usually visible early on. But they're not always...
Your genetic expression can change throughout your life, and is probably more prone to it now more than ever due to the fact we're basically eating industrial waste that's still chemically similar enough to food to the point where your body won't try to chelate it.
> diseases.
As I said my first crohn's flare up was months after my mental illness but how quickly would you see the results of intestinal inflammation? Would it take years for crohns to appear or is it instant? Could it have existed a short amount of time before my onset? The thing that made me suspect "autism" was that alot of autistics also suffer from intestinal problems, and a majority of "autistics" also have elevated inflammatory cytokines in their brains and antibodies. Which brought me to encephalitis, and the symptoms of encephalitis can mirror autism 1:1 and is also caused by immune response against the brain, however encephalitis as we know it is just much more aggressive. This all makes me think that autism needs to be looked at as an autoimmune disorder or should at least see some reclassification.
>I'd sometimes just sit there during those moments kinda almost dozing off, I was still awake and conscious but I would be extremely fatigued and barely thinking, everything was hazy like some heavy dream or nightmare.
You know... there's the chance that you just slept badly in that time? Could explain the symptoms. Sleep apnea? Stress? Puberty? Well, lots of options to choose from.
>The thing that made me suspect "autism" was that alot of autistics also suffer from intestinal problems
Yes, because they eat shit all day, not because of Crohn's.
>and a majority of "autistics" also have elevated inflammatory cytokines in their brains and antibodies
No, they don't. They may be more likely to, but that doesn't mean a majority has it.
>This all makes me think that autism needs to be looked at as an autoimmune disorder or should at least see some reclassification
Do I really have to go with you, making sure that you can do your first baby steps? Autism is a definition, a grouping of behavioral things that ranges from epileptic fits to a different sense of humor because both fit the "socio-communicative disorder" paradigm. I have no doubt about it that autoimmune disorders can cause such behavior and personally favor the idea heavily in case of early-onset regressive forms that render an individual mentally moronic, but that really does not pertain to your case.
hey anon. you give off a strong degen vibe, tasteful in nature though. whatever image you post next will tell me
>you give off a strong degen vibe, tasteful in nature though
It's true, I started jacking off to futa at an early age, I now primarily enjoy twinks though. Makes me wonder if I was strange from the start.
>Makes me wonder if I was strange from the start.
You're a narcissist who fetishizes completely trivial problems. You are abnormal, just not in the way you wish you were.
No, I'm not a narcissist. I have a very serious problem that started when I was a child. I hit myself in the head when I hear others eat or drink.
Other than that I was normal. Something has gone wrong with my brain I'm sure.
Your just weird dude, its fine. People try to put labels on people who do weird shit, which is sometimes helpful but if you can live your life alright medical diagnosis is just a useless label. Are you able to live your life so that habit doesn't cause other issues?
That guy isn't me but it's probably questionable if I will be able to hold a job or not. I was probably wondering if any medications could help at this point but I can't really think of any that wouldn't also frick me over or end up being something on the experimental side. Now that I think about it though, I may have had lead exposure a few months before my problem started.
What do they say you have that meds might help with?
First neurologist I saw said I had tourettes, so I was taken to a specialist for that but she said this wasn't anything like it, a psychiatrist diagnosed me with GAD and avoidant personality disorder, another one believed I had OCD and ADD, now my current one suspects autism. So it's a long and conflicted history, and meds only seem to help with a few of those problems. Various therapies were tried. Adding to the lead thing, the exposure was when I was fooling around with .38 unjacketed bullets, I didn't do anything ultra moronic like eating them but I probably wasnt aware of the risk factor and didnt wash my hands.
Yeah a little bit of lead like that wouldn't have caused so many issues, lead damage is more of a chronic thing. Idk how your situation is, but in my case they said I was an autist as a kid and I was worried if I could function irl too, but I did manage to pull myself together and act normal enough eventually, so there is always hope bro.
That's the best I can hope for really, that it just kinda goes away randomly someday, I'm okay in social situations, maybe I have issues with hyperactivity and finding drive to leave my bounds, maybe not, it's hard to tell where other problems begin due to the crippling levels of sound sensitivity which blocks me from basically everything. Assuming it is autism, from my understanding there's no clear "autism pill" as with every other mental illness. There's just symptom suppression as of now.
As I said, I basically have self injurious mental breakdowns in response to certain sounds. This resulted in me dropping out of school for homeschooling, and likely due to lack of routine from said homeschooling I probably lost my executive functioning skills and such, so now I have no idea where to pick up my life. I don't know if I would have developed any other problems independent of the misophonia or not. If there are any additional symptoms of autism they're hard to notice and likely dont qualify for a diagnosis. I'm somewhat of an psychological anomaly because I have a low functioning trait while being capable in other fields.
that sound things weird, besides that you sound like you could do fine with some practice to make up for homeschooling. Im sorry I got no clue what you could do with the sound thing, but besides that you sound like you can do good.
just wondering, did you get better around noises when you got older or nah?
I probably got better to a degree in the sense that the sudden onset of panic fear and shock got less pronounced overtime, maybe I was getting used to it though, the self hitting persists however with maybe a slight decrease in sensitivity for some sounds and with some increases for others.
"getting used to it" is getting better, if you feel something but don't act on it thats doing it right
Can you stop posting these tranime pictures? Yes?
You are incredibly naive in the way you look at things as evidenced by such things as:
>Assuming it is autism, from my understanding there's no clear "autism pill" as with every other mental illness. There's just symptom suppression as of now.
Pills don't cure mental illnesses and autism wouldn't explain your issues either way. Makes no sense for you to get attached so badly to arbitrary clinical labels.
>I'm somewhat of an psychological anomaly because I have a low functioning trait while being capable in other fields.
Except for all these people who have very specific problems? Yes? Seems like you fetishize psych talk primarily because you want to be the victim. Clearly, getting aggressive to the point of punching yourself over sounds, forcing your mother to homeschool you, isn't just a misophonia issue. You're narcissistic, have problems with inhibiting yourself and have unresolved anger issues against yourself.
I'm fed up with OP. By now, it's clear that he deliberately wastes my time and anyone's else in this thread for the sole purpose of entertainment. He has no deep understanding of the issues at hand, does not meaningfully engage with anyone except repeating over and over again that something isn't right with him.
It's Munchhausen syndrome fueled by raging narcissism. OP wants to be sick because he enjoys the attention.
The whole misophonia issue is absolutely overblown, as evidenced by the fact that OP likely deliberately dropped out of school based on an invented issue. That this severe behavioral abnormality, where he couldn't be taught by regular teachers, never got checked out, btw, is kind of odd. There should be indicators other than "le autism" and "le anxiety". His obsession with finding an environmental cause also tells me that he's acitvely looking for a reason as to why he's failing at life. One that doesn't make him responsible for his own short-comings.
probably should ask, I have no idea what your situation is, what exactly do you do that makes life so hard?
You don't have lead poisoning. I reload my own ammo and I've handled lead for decades, not careful about it either. I also get annual tests and there is no excess lead in my blood. I'll echo the same sentiment that you're looking for a problem in order to feel special, garner attention, or cope with your own shortcomings in life. Seen it before and now it's really easy to spot.
Now if you put on cat ears I might give you some psychological trauma to really care about.
is not OP, I am OP. I started jacking off to Heisenberg at an early age, I now primarily enjoy Skibidi though. Makes me wonder if I was a sigma rizzler from the start.
>what went wrong with my brain?
nothing. you were haunted by a demon
Unexpected loud sounds make me feel rage/fear and puts me on edge and towards conflict. I don't get it either. Also had to do speech therapy as a kid though for some pronunciation work.
Well good luck, it sounds like something you can work around but I don't know how you would go about that
Hi guys, OP here.
I forgot to mention that I am also a homosexual.
Hope that helps.