ITT: historical empires so absurd they sound like custom empires from video-games

For me, it's the Kushan Empire:
>Tocharian ethnicity
>Scythian warfare and names
>Greco-Bactrian administrative system
>Greco-Indian architecture
>Greek AND Bactrian-Iranian official languages, both wrote in greek script as well
>Followed at the same time Zoroastrianism, Hinduism, Hellenism, Buddhism, Schivaism, and various minor Iranic pantheons, likely to stack bonuses from each faith
>Their coins were autistic clusterfricks stacked with random deities, scripts and languages of all the above mentioned cultures
>Appeared in the Berserk manga as well somehow

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  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    They were not Tocharians.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      They are the Tochar/Tokharoi/Kohtan/Kushan/Yeuzhi/Yuti/Gete

      All sources, Persian/Greeks(They were greeks)/Indians/Chinese points to this.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      You sure?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        nope

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Identifying the Kushans with the Tokharoi of Greek sources is fairly straightforward.
      Problem is that calling Arsi-Kuci "Tocharian" is probably a misnomer and at best an exonym that was applied to multiple groups of people.

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    they only followed Hinduism, and it's not uncommon for foreign empires to assimilate to the culture of the areas they govern. also i dont think they are Tocharians, they were sythians

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      It dosent like they followed Hinduism more than any other faiths. Early Kushans prefered the greco-bactrians gods, while the later kushans heavily shilled Buddhism to China

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Hellenic buddhism at that. Because the3y were big on greece. Fricking alexander.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >also i dont think they are Tocharians, they were sythians
      This isn't as certain as you might think. I don't see why they couldn't have been proto-Turks from BMAC.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Their royal given names were clearly IE, and at least some of them had long beards, something unusual among mongoloids. But you have a point about central asian nomads being massive gigamutts, so its possible they were mixed

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Read again, you've misinterpreted what I've said.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Proto-Turks were not Asiatic, but rather PIE peoples originating from the Bactria-Margiana Archeological Complex, or the Oxus civilization.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Furthermore academia has begun a campaign to portray Tocharians as being complete outliers altogether, perhaps for political purposes. Meanwhile they continue to insist that CWC is wholly Yamna, even though they're more than likely intentionally doing the opposite for Tocharians.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >Meanwhile they continue to insist that CWC is wholly Yamna

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >troony gay
            Ew

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            What are you smoking, Mehmet?

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >Thinks I'm an Ahemd
            Read again

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            https://indo-european.eu/2021/05/proto-turkic-homeland/

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            He is right
            Turks are IE in Y-DNA

  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    the Central American republic sounds like a meme state that mappainters make. And obviously the #1 video game larp empire is the Central African empire. Dude literally sucked Napoleons dick so hard he copied his coronation and blew something like a quarter of his nations budget on it.

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    India seems to have a tendency of getting invaded by people with more caucasoid people than themselves. First by Iran_N then aryans, scythians, greeks, parthians, kushans, parts by arabs, turks, persians, moghuls and the portuguese, dutch, french and the british.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >arabs, turks, Mughal more white than greeks

  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    haha barbaricum :DDD

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Taiping. It sounds like something that could happen in the Bible Belt, not China.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >Taiping. It sounds like something that could happen in the Bible Belt, not China.

      You don't know much Chinese history then. The Taiping Heavenly Kingdom was not purely Christian, it was a syncretic mystic cult. And syncretic mystic cult-rebellions are a very regular occurrence in its history.

      The Taiping is the second famous cult-rebellion. The most famous being this one.

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The Mesoamericans and Andeans in general fit this a lot due to them developing independently from Eurasian ones, but to use the Aztec as an example:

    >originated as a group of Nomadic tribes just a few centuries earlier
    >achieved widespread power and dominance over a wide area that had a ton of existing urban civiilizations
    >Have giant city in the middle of a lake built out of artificial islands
    >have giant pyramids and tempels
    >Have venice like canals all throughout your cities, with gardens in palaces and the like
    >Soldiers dress up in warsuits decorated with hundreds of thousands of iridesecent feathers and fashioned after animals and mythological creatures
    >use weapons made of glass that can form edges thousands of times sharper then steel
    >don't use the wheel or metal tools on a widespread basis
    >practice human sacrifice
    >have mythology that's basically cosmic horror

    Even today it sounds, and accurate art of them looks, like something out of a fantasy novel, let alone to 16th century europeans

  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Tocharian ethnicity
    Why are Indo-Eurocels so moronic? The Tocharians have been dead for a millenia by this point. The Kushans were Yuezhi.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      The Yuezhi were descendants of the Tocharians, at least in parts

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I can beat that: The Kingdom of Khotan
    >Kushano-Turkic Mutts.
    >SteppeBlack person Warfare & Weapons.
    >But most live in Oases Cities in the Tarim Basin.
    >Indian Names
    >Buddhists.
    >Chinese architecture, art, and clothing.
    >Uses Sanskrit in religious scripture.
    >Day to day communication by the court however is in Chinese characters.

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