Literally what even is SCRUM?
t. NEET
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Literally what even is SCRUM? t. NEET
Literally what even is SCRUM?
t. NEET
Tip Your Landlord Shirt $21.68 |
UFOs Are A Psyop Shirt $21.68 |
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The fall guy for when projects blow up
Its an informal and agile way to manage projects but you really have to commit to make it work. Its not for everyone.
In english, doc.
Project management which everyone and their mom brags about using but in reality no one actually adheres to its principles.
what the frick does that image even mean
it's true though. you could look as ugly as shit and still score if you got money. I've seen them all.
The pay isn't even that much. 90% of my current team makes more than the median (basically everyone except new college grads)
bitches need stability
God I forgot I still had PEE on
hot
I've had a full 6 month course about this bullshit and I can't tell you either. The best I can describe it is for the mentally ill by the mentally.
SCRUM is chaos for chaos' sake.
idk and I'm a PM making $160K a year. I just create reasonable milestones and allocate resources to make it happen.
>tfw make 70k as an engineer
>will never break 100k
I hate my life.
It's a system for keeping wageslaves in check
real scrum has never been tried
when is scrum master going to be renamed to scrum main?
It's a way to suck the soul out of development. Developing is turned into a constant production line of tasks. No sense of accomplishment. No sense of finality. Just constantly churning through tasks.
They never called scrum devs "scrum slaves" because no manager would ever be that on-the-nose
scrum daddy
I have never partaken in a scrum project that didn't fail due to unforeseen time sinks
Writing complete, functional programs, and then charging for them, was difficult.
So we write a program that's partially functional, release and charge for that, and then keep adding to/fixing it forever, charging for that as well. SCRUM is a part of the methodology of running that circus. It mostly involves being the clown with the biggest nose.
If you're wondering why all modern software ships at full price but barely works, you can thank the frickwaffles who pushed AGILE.
Beyond the meme-ory, agile has saved software development. Can you imagine the costs of running everything waterfall? You'd see the same grift, but at a much larger failure rate. At least now you can deal with your "consultants" on a more frequent timeline with the expectation that they fix shit before the next gate. Huh.
No, because with waterfall at least the feces sank and successful software floated to the surface to skim off. Now it's all just a frothed mess.
Fastes one out the door is the goal. Not making the software that survives. And now it's infecting companies that were previously at least somewhat reliable.
t. bootcamp cuck
>Can you imagine the costs of running everything waterfall?
But that's how it's still done everywhere, and that's why software is universally shit.
All the theatrics with daily scrum, sprint planning and retrospectives mean absolutely frick all when all you have in your backlog is requirements filtered down the org chart. At least with unapologetic waterfall the higher-ups actually made an effort when writing requirements, now it's just lazy one-liners in Jira.
What we really need is a radical form of DDD where the business types teach the domain to the developers and the developers distil it into something implementable, which they teach back to the business types with things like ubiquitous language.
Completeness is considered harmful. See Richard Gabriel's Worse is Better.
Whatever you set out to make, you should only build a subset of it. Build the simple but actually valuable stuff and not bother with the rest, which will just take too long and just bloat up the program. The problem is that higher ups in companies are obsessed with completeness but never budgets for enough time and competent devs to create anything that isn't a broken, bloated mess. Agile isn't really the problem here, it's just business people who refuse to question any of their assumptions and learn anything. Agile just gets implicated because it's a buzzword and businessgays thing buzzwords are magical incantations that just werk without them actually having to learn and practice anything.
I look like that
I’ve found agile to be a good way for management to offload all risks and responsibilities to their teams
Agile techniques to force people to work as a team and decrease burocracy
A way for lazy devs to try to con companies out of having their own development team in house.
The essence is you have a small dev team build parts of your application like cc integration or screen pop and they have about a week to put something together to deploy. They get paid no matter what we have to do to work on it.
FRICK SCRUM
Scrum/Agile is the tech industry's useless job maker. What the frick does an agile coach even do all day?
It's a way to give the CEO's useless business major son a job, similar to how secretaries started
Nobody knows, except that you'll have better funding when the upper management gears that you're doing it the SCRUM way
A cope approach to working made up by low iq brainlets in order to function in IT work
They need to just take the L and become sanitation workers. I fricking hate NPCs
A way to ruin a perfectly running workplace.
>rich privileged Americans complaining that their insanely high salaries aren't high enough, their wallets are too big for all their fifties and their diamond shoes are too tight