I am a native English speaker.
State spelling bee champion.
99th percentile verbal SAT.
99th percentile verbal GRE.
I still don't know fricking English.
What is the book that will walk me through English grammar? Like Wheelock's Latin, but for my mother tongue.
Thanks
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>I am a native English speaker.
>State spelling bee champion.
>99th percentile verbal SAT.
>99th percentile verbal GRE.
>I still don't know fricking English.
none of that self-congratulatory shit was needed.
there are a million grammar books, go to a bookstore and find one you like.
The self congratulation shit was to fish for a serious recommendation and head off any stupid replies about going to a bookstore and just picking one you "like"
No, it isn't self-congradulatory. Stop being pathetic. OP is clearly brainwashed into thinking academics mattered.
>Literary Theory: The Basics (Hans Bertens)
>Literary Theory: A Practical Introduction (Michael Ryan)
>How English Works (Anne Curzan)
>Literary Theory: Anthology (Julie Rivkin)
>The Elements of Style (Strunk and White)
Ezra Pound has a ton of good information... There's more, you're going to want to look into linguistics and English phrenology. My wife studies this topic, but she fell asleep, or I'd be asking her.
For more modern stuff, you're going to find a lot of people who worship chomsky, they're actually all moronic. Be prepared for that, it's just idealogical shit (bothand logic, for example.) and it can't really be "ignored" but you'll get bogged down with marxist drive and a LOT of fluff writing -- Do yourself a favor and aim for older books, pre-1940's will be more valuable. Read older books, actually analyze them. Get familiar with the bible and shakespeare, if you aren't somewhat already. Get a companion guide to shakespeare.
Good luck, have fun, and (if I'm right anyways) congrats on the first step of fixing the brainwashing. It'll get easier as time goes on.
If you don't know what I'm talking about, don't worry about it, you'll figure it out as you learn about this subject matter.
>English phrenology
Did you mean phonology, or philology?
Also, why did you misspell "congratulatory" and "ideological"?
It was philology. I drink a lot, anons.
>frick is your problem
I'd guess you aren't actually OP, but if you are: You asked for help, I gave it, you don't seem to understand the help you are getting. If you don't want to improve, it's not my problem. But keep in mind that I'm the only one who gave you actual assistence. Cheers.
I'm not a christian, but the Douay–Rheims Bible would be my suggestion because protestants are moronic.
>Get familiar with the bible
>the bible
>the only bible is KJV
>the bible was written in 1611 by English Bishops
Have some fricking humility and call the greatest work in the the English Language other than Blake the KJV. #OtherBiblesExist #NotMy1611
Shakespeare mogs everyone by an enormous margin
>KJV and Blake
they're good but FRICKouttahere
>English phrenology.
what does my skull shape have to do with good grammar?
>you're going to find a lot of people who worship Chomsky
They are completely correct to do so. There are sophisticated criticisms of him that are worth reading that attack the actual limitations of his methods, but I'm going to assume that you're like 90% of the "Chomper Honk is le wong" crowd and don't understand what he's even claiming in the first place.
God you are making it clear you are being a moron. At least sober up before you tempt yourself to continue to act like an arrogant shithead. Remain silent if you cannot justify yourself coherently.
OP here, will you idiots stop reeing about my wordcel IQ. My point isn't that I'm great (I'm fricking ANON), my point is that we don't teach grammar
thank you
>literary theory
frick is your problem
I’m in the same boat OP.
My verdict is that words are divine. Just let them flow.
That's like walking up to a guitar and letting divine music flow. Gotta learn your fricking scales
I see you clearly don’t know any talented musicians.
>You asked for help, I gave it, you don't seem to understand the help you are getting. If you don't want to improve, it's not my problem. But keep in mind that I'm the only one who gave you actual assistence. Cheers.
>literary theory is prescriptive grammar
i reckon i hate english and i aint gon learn non of it sall a buncha bullshit like i gotta listen to some tweed nambypamby butthole who dont know his ass from his elbow cause he wrote a book and say i dont speak good frick that english aint shit
I never wrote a book but English is technically V2 word order, not SVO. V2 = verb second, counting words/phrases within the sentence. (e.g. "The brown dog's hat" is one noun phrase because you can't split it to add other movable bits of the sentence in, like "tomorrow" or another noun phrase or something) It used to work like German does, now there are exceptions to that (basically to add adverbs, e.g. "The fox quickly ran" is not strict V2, but "The fox ran quickly" is. Or even, "Quickly ran the fox") It explains a lot of the weird sentence structures that crop up, like "there was X" or,. " 'quote here', said Paul" "these things spake He unto the people". None of those follow SVO word order, but with V2 it's clear how they work.
Also, the verb is strictly speaking not always the meaningful word. e.g. "I have eaten", "have" is the verb and "eaten" is more like an adjectivey thing. "Have" inflects (would be "had" or "has" in another case) so it is the main verb.
What was that usage guide DFW reviewed
ignore all of this, learn a conlang and translate into it in real time