Sexual intercourse in books is usually boring

Why is it that sex is usually described this way:
>Dominance/submission: cringe phrases, boring bdsm shit or "sophisticated" erotic games described in a Modernist style full of greek and latin words
>Animalistic: dominance, submissive without cringe phrases said by sex havers
>Analogy with nature: "her thighs were like mountains and I was a river between them" bullshit
>Vile shit: what you read in American Psycho. Traumatic penetration, gang rape, etc.
>Innocence: "she didn't know what to do but I did because I'm an old man". Crap that involves age difference
>Happy lovey-dovey sex: also includes analogy with nature as in "sun rays hit her body while she was laying on top of me".

They always fall in these categories, which is really repetitive and generally boring. I find that sex in books is almost the same as in sex in films: unnecessary, bland, matters none in the plot, shitty execution. I know that sex was described pretty good in books like Decameron, however, nowadays it's the same shit spewed by authors hundreds of years before.
No author has innovated in writing sex scenes.

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  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    So are fight scenes. Better in other media.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Fight scenes in the Illiad are really great, unlike recent books. By recent I mean books from the 19th century until now. No idea why is usually the same stupid shit. I feel like there's actually no need to write fight scenes because the ways to do so have been done to death. No one can even do a fight scene even in the Illiad style that is entertaining. Reminds me of realistic paintings. Yes, they are still done, but they are either same crap as the old ones or hip shitty no substance "hyperrealism". I could argue that it's analogue to what happens in sex in literature.

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Sex is the most viscerally embodied experience we have. It can't be adequately described verbally. All higher-order cognition is muted while the most primitive tactile and kinesthetic sensation are amplified. Maybe poetry can more closely capture its essence, but even this is inadequate.

  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Sexual intercourse in books is usually boring
    it also is irl
    but i guess wouldn't know anything about that

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    There are zero times when sex should be included in a book unless the book is predominantly pornographic.

  5. 2 years ago
    The Fool

    I like Bolano's sex scenes, they are direct and horny

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Lmao who the frick are you?

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I also find sex extremely boring. People who are still excited about or obsessed with sex after 25 remind me of people who are still playing the 14th sequel of a game they liked in their teens, except they're in their thirties now. Something went wrong there.

    I crave sex like I crave junk food, and sometimes the craving is annoying and you have to cave, and it's nice to have a gf since it's like a healthy alternative you can use to keep the craving away, but sex itself is not that big a deal.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >I also find sex extremely boring.
      youre not fricking the right women anon

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      This

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Maybe you're just having some really bad sex.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Sex is like shitting or eating. Or death. Happens all the time.

        It's mundane and banal

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          yes but i'm very dogmatic and my favorite position is doggie so i have to fulfill my rituals one way or another. just as i need to workout every other day. there's a difference between abstaining from cravings and fundamental human needs. my job demands i have post-nut clarity.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >People who are still excited about or obsessed with sex after 25 remind me of people who are still playing the 14th sequel of a game they liked in their teens
      Then what's the point of living after 25 in your mind?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        This is literally you.

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I remember writing sexual stories in fan fiction sites just to see fujos saying how they loved it and knowing they jerk offd to them.
    Even wrote gay shit, not really proud of that.

  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    if you want good sex scenes then you'll need to go to ao3. All the best sex I've read has been in fanfics.

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    As opposed to sexual intercourse with your mom which is exciting

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      write something entertaining about it. I'm serious and not joking. Maybe IQfy might be the start of a new Eroticism movement.

  10. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I like the ones in Fate/Stay Night

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I wrap my hand around Tohsaka's female symbol.
      "… Wow."
      I let out a voice of surprise.
      My mind goes crazy at its soft firmness.
      The softness of her breasts stimulates my manhood.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Her lewdness is a great nightmare.
      Her anus is defenseless.
      It contracts every time I move, looking like a second reproductive opening.
      —Tohsaka's anus.
      The dirtiest part of her is right in front of me.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Amazing, I never got that far before starting to skip

  11. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Sex is banal

  12. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    It sounds like your brain has rotted so much you can't even get aroused by erotica

  13. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >All higher-order cognition is muted
    >Just something you do.
    >the craving is annoying and you have to cave

  14. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    its a mundane activity like shitting or eating, It doesn't need to exist unless it conveys an idea.

  15. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I like how mishima sorta does it / avoids being too obvious

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      this

  16. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    That's because the real essence of sex can only be captured when spoken around in some way. In short: it is more than what literally happens.

    ?t=268

  17. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    IDK, Ive always found written smut a lot hotter than visual porn. Just requires the right writer who knows what to focus on to elucidate feelings, and what to omit to inspire painting a picture yourself. It can be some really good shit.

  18. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >moronic: Morrissey's "bulbous salutation"

  19. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Try to insert dick into woman
    >She screams that it hurts
    >Dick finally inside
    >She starts screaming after every single motion I do because dick is destroying her insides no matter how much pussy juice she produces
    >Cant even hate frick her because with every motion I do my dick touches the back of her insides and it inflicts pain onto me

    Having a big dick sucks bros

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Same, except it wasn't that bad and she would take it, not without some slight grimace and groan. If I didn't notice and ease up, she would put a hand on me, but sometimes when I would notice, she would say it's ok I want you to...
      I can't remember how long it has been since we last spoke. I hope she's not waiting tables anymore, always serving, always smiling... and I always strolling, always smirking. We were each dead on the page; if only I could erase our ink and write our wills onto the world. Sorry for the blogpost

  20. 2 years ago
    Anonymous
  21. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Why are americans such prudes about sex? It's just a part of life like anything else you could write about

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Protestantism?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Protestantism?

      >still posting this "Americans are puritans" meme in 2022
      Wake up, morons. We live in the most licentious society yet known to man.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        It's the most licentious precisely because of how prudish it is

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        lol okay

  22. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Incoherent. "Repetitive," but you have to create an entire taxonomy to capture the variety. How can you claim sex in erotica is "unnecessary, bland, matters none (lol) in the plot" when that's the entire point of the genre?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I meant it as NOW sex usually falls in those categories, hence it's repetitive. There's few variety.
      >How can you claim sex in erotica is "unnecessary
      It is because it's always written/described/portrayed the same. There's no creativity. Erotica uses those sex passages as something annex to the story, as in, thanks to sex, something happens to the protagonists or it involves character development. Whatever happens during sex is irrelevant besides the overuse of adjectives, akin to purple prose. It could easily be reduced in "X have sex with Y, afterwards X changes as a person/does something". The activity done during sex doesn't matter really.

  23. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    larp thread

  24. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Is sex really that overrated guys?
    I am 27 virgin and really want to do it. Must be nice to clap some nice cheeks and cum inside

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Is overrated if you frick someone you don' love. Yes, even if it's a hot smoking looking Eva Green woman, you will end up just cumming and feeling weird, kind of like eating fast food. However, if it's your gf, you both can do what you always wanted, plus kissing and cuddling is actually good.

  25. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    You had to be there man

  26. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Have sex poop my pants again

    One line from a song in Morbius is better than 90% of human literature in the past 400 years

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