Don't write too much. Thought because I'm so horny all the time it would be a creative outlet. Thoughts and any criticisms are much appreciated.
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Some prose
dont say curves twice within a 10 word space. Im not reading the rest becuase of that.
>becuase
yeah, so what?
Ah, good point. I too hate it when people are too repetitive. I'll just replace it with "lines"
you also did it with 'waves'.
But that's the point? Is it too overdone?
yes, and done poorly.
>done poorly
How so? Besides the aforementioned repetition
My advice to you is read more. Your writing is clunky and awkward. Read more and pay attention to style and structure. Now stop fighting back and take the criticism for fricks sake. I'm just pointing out problems not fixing them.
Will do, thanks b
chill with the 'body of water' metaphors. I get it.
Instead of 'I had suddenly" just say 'I suddenly' or 'Suddenly, I..."
a ripple in a sea? that is bad wording. ripples have a connotation for being small, especially in bodies of water. Do you have a small dick?
>the waves of THIS sea
uh, what other sea would it be?
>From this splashing would occasionally emerge a moan
A moan occurring from a splash? doesn't make sense.
>would occasionally
awkward wording
>her long hair.
boring
>This... hair
This this this, stop saying this
>Submerging me in the tide
tide is not the right word to use here
>At where my body entered hers flowed more waves
awkward
>These waves were not of flesh but of her womanly essence.
lol
>viscosity of ink
gross
>gross
Hehe. Thanks for the comments tho homie
waves were not of flesh but of her womanly essence.
>lol
of ink
>gross
Is this awkward because bad prose or because the topic is her cumming
Any books you would suggest someone interested in writing prose should read?
start with the greeks
It's pretty cringe, homie. Maybe don't start with a sex scene while working on prose. A lot of it reads very awkwardly, aside from the actual idea of the writing just being very awkward in general.
>womanly essence
I would advise never putting those two words together again
>Thoughts and any criticisms
You will never kiss a woman.
I wrote it precisely because I kiss this woman hahaha