Hi everyone! With the great success of Tales Volume 1, we have decided to continue on and go for Tales Volume 2. This thread serves as our official call for submissions.
>What is Tales?
Tales of the Unreal is a periodically published book series taking inspiration from pulp magazines such as Weird Tales. We pick 12 to 15 of the best subs, put them into a book, and publish it with a book cover and style that emulates the pulp magazines of old.
>What we want
The horrible, the unknowable, the weird! We want your horror or weird fiction short story. Somewhere in the realm of 2 - 5000 words, but if you need a little more room, if the story is exceptional it will still be considered!
>When do we want it?
Submissions are open YEAR ROUND. This is just a dedicated call for Tales 2, with a close date of August 1ST AT 11:59pm EST.
>Where do I submit?
Please email your submission to [email protected] in any format of your choosing. We do light editing for formatting and spelling only, and otherwise keep the entire intent of the author.
Please include with your submission the name you would wish to be published under.
You can also query that email for any questions you may have.
>Where can I find Tales 1?
FOR FREE: https://unrealpress.com/tales-of-the-unreal/
IN PRINT: Just search the name and it'll come up on Amazon
 Thalidomide Vintage Ad Shirt $22.14 |
 Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
Thalidomide Vintage Ad Shirt $22.14 |
>great success
salty anon
Haters are just jealous.
Yes.
Why would I submit when I'll get doxxed?
You won’t.
I enjoyed the & and Steve Donoghue reviews of Tales 1: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=w_vd0Xy1sPU&t
Link the Steve Donoghue review please
18:08 - "I got one I wanted to show to you - recommend to you"
These boys get reviews
Do the writers get paid or is this just for IQfy clout
It’s for the satisfaction of being part of a vision that’s greater than yourself.
Alright, no thanks then. I skimmed issue 1 while waiting for your response, this is honestly pretty mid
Mid is generous.
You mean for you to get an ego boost at the labor of others.
I for one do not want my name attached to your lackluster project. Please stop using this board as your dumping ground.
I'm sure not attaching the name "anon" to their project will affect them severely.
And as long as the jannies allow Frank to shill-spam without limit, so can everyone else.
The difference is that Gardner is actually entertaining whereas you produce nothing of value and continue merely for your own narcissism. Talentless worm.
not /unreal/ but nice try.
This is not entertainment.
This is sadcringe lolcow.
>double paragraph breaks
NGMI
so like national socialism
>Somewhere in the realm of 2 - 5000 words
2 word minimum, huh?
AHUM
"Black israelites."
~Fin~
too scary
It’s meant to say 2000
I've got a ~650 word, basically one-A4, story. Basically the first thing I wrote that I actually like. Can I still submit it, does it even have a chance for inclusion? Or do I need to lengthen it to at least 2000 words?
I still think it's actually still a bit too long. It's framed as a single long thought in first person, as a backstory I had in my head for an artifact from a tabletop campaign, so I imagine lengthening would amount to a completely new framing. A day-by-day play.
Go ahead and submit. We're still taking subs through August 1st. Tales subs are actually open year-round but we're thinking we'll only get out two or three anthologies per year.
Thanks to whoever made this thread btw.
When will Tales 2 release?
>not a new IP
>pretending to be interested
>page 9 bump
>& thread was bumped off of page 9 one minute after this post
>IQfy renaissance thread was bumped off of page 8 one minute before
Why do you do this? What compels you? Is pretending to be an eceleb the only thing you have in your life? These are serious questions. I want answers.
mostly i just enjoy watching homosexuals like you seethe at our success.
Also b***hes get wet when they find out i'm part of the unreal crew. True story.
You are leading a very sad life. I hope for everyone's sake that you find Christ at some point in the near future. If I could offer you one piece of advice, please uninstall discord. There's an entire generation of young men like you. I don't know if their desperate attention seeking is due to a lack of a father figure, but if it is, Christ is there waiting.
Christ and God are myths and you're a trad larper like Ignatus J Reilly trying to pretend you're deeper than you actually are byt spouting that nonsense.
Lose weight, frick a woman and stop pretending to take the Christian myth seriously, you're fooling nobody.
Your words are so much weaker than gods love for you. I hope you heed my words. Should you fail to do so, I hope you find what you're looking for in your discord, as unlikely as that may be.
Settle down there, edgelord.
Name one statement in that image that isn't literally in the Bible...except of course the "makes perfect sense" part.
>accept him as your master
*trust in his promise that he has the power to forgive. Saying God is your "master" is not what the Gospel is. This point is easily the biggest misunderstanding and the most common one with unbelievers and wolves in the Church itself.
>zombie
A cynical exaggeration. He defeated Death itself and requires nothing.
>because a rib-woman
Eve was deceived but Adam was in the transgression.
The Old Testament God sure as hell wants to be considered the master.
If any of his followers failed him, he smited them and/or forced their tribe to wander in the wilderness until the guilty generation died off.
He even killed two of his priests (Aaron's sons, even) for bringing incense into the tabernacle. (Leviticus 10.1-2) Talk about a short fuse.
Whether Eve was deceived or not has nothing to do with whether she was created from one of Adam's ribs.
And I admit, I don't think Christ was a zombie...I don't think he died at all. But that's a longer conversation.
But hey, feel free to follow your God all you want. I'm sure he'll reward you with military victories, and much plunder, cattle, and slaves.
The Old Testament God and the NT one is the same. Dispensationalism is a lie. Everyone is saved the same exact way. Galatians explained the purpose of the Old Testament. It proved that the law could not be fulfilled by man without a savior who could fulfill the law and forgive mankind for not being able to.
>reward
I already established that God is not a master in the sense that you must please him through becoming worthy, through acts of godliness. It is impossible to earn salvation, because a gift that is paid for is not a gift, it is a debt and to attempt to pay unlimited debt without God's sacrifice does not work.
The only real argument you have is the problem of evil. Making fun of the Bible's logic when you have zero understanding of theology is embarrassing.
Marcion of Sinope, the person who assembled the first version of the Christian Bible, was a Gnostic who deliberately set out to depict the Old Testament God as the Demiurge.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcion_of_Sinope
So no, the New Testament and Old Testament Gods are not the same, according to the guy who actually assembled the book.
The idea that one doesn't have to earn salvation is very much a Protestant idea, and was one of the key schisms during the Protestant Reformation.
The Catholics still believe one has to do good works.
Trying to defend the Bible's "logic" when you have zero understanding of history is embarrassing.
I leave you with God's advocacy of daughter-father incest, from Genesis 19:
[30] And Lot went up out of Zoar, and dwelt in the mountain, and his two daughters with him; for he feared to dwell in Zoar: and he dwelt in a cave, he and his two daughters.
[31] And the firstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth:
[32] Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.
[33] And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.
[34] And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our Father.
[35] And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.
[36] Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father.
Holy shit, you’re so dumb.
So you don't have an actual counterargument, and resort to name-calling.
Some might even call it "bearing false witness".
IQfyners really are the worst...all the social impairment of nerds, with none of the brains.
Everything I listed there is the stone cold truth.
The quote from the Bible is literally from the KJV.
Your move, brainlet.
Paul called the Law as the Law of Death. It all comes down to interpretation. There are passages all over the Old Testament that describe faith as we understand it today. And even back then there were people that didn't get it, and there were ones that did. There is a passage I believe in the Psalms, and a similar one in Isaiah 55, where God rebukes those who think their thoughts are the same as his. Ironically, to follow the law of God leads to destruction because no man can do it on his own. To imagine that you are not guilty is like the parable where the accused does not agree with his accuser. So in that way people that worship God through the Law are not worshiping God at all. They are worshiping their father the Devil, as Jesus pretty succinctly pointed out. That is basically the same thing that Marcion meant, that imagining salvation through the Law was utterly evil, and he was right.
>Catholics still believe one has to do good works
Religion is not a monolith. What they say is not necessarily how it is understood, because Christ left "stumbling blocks" in his teachings and this is one such block. If you read the Psalms or even went to church for more than a month this would become apparent. There is no "platform" to which all people believe in once they step through some doors. The Bible is more characterized by the fringe prophets that preached something that most did not accept than it is a mainstream. Faith today is still the same.
>I leave you with God's advocacy of daughter-father incest, from Genesis 19:
Show me where God advocated this. Did God advocate for Moses to murder the taskmaster? Did God advocate for Solomon to marry countless devil worshiping wives? Get real. Lot suffered because he raised his two daughters in an evil nation, that is why they had an evil idea.
>It all comes down to interpretation
And I suppose you believe yours is the correct interpretation.
No wonder this book leads to bloody internecine wars.
>Christ left "stumbling blocks"
Doesn't Leviticus 19.14 prohibit stumbling blocks?
Is Jesus breaking God's law?
>Show me where God advocated [incest]
By describing the act and not showing any consequences for them having done so.
The descendants of one of Lot's daughters became the Moabites.
Ruth was a famous Moabite, and Jesus traces his lineage directly to her.
Sounds like the opposite of a bad consequence to me.
Jesus' ancestry is the product of drunken incest.
So, you can either accept Christianity is a waste of time, you can redouble your seething efforts...or you can bear some more false witness.
>leads to bloody internecine wars
Without going into the ethics of those wars, the book of Romans says to let God be true, and every man a liar. Evil in the world does not prove that God is wrong, it proves that we need him.
>Is Jesus breaking God's law?
He's not, rather he fulfilled the law. There are points in the Sermon on the Mount where Jesus explains the spiritual and full meaning behind the laws. For example, that hatred is equivalent to murder. He understood the law better than any of us, and was the only one worthy of fulfilling it through his sacrifice. The people that first picked up stones against him did so because he claimed to be equal to God, but of course these did not understand his triune nature. In like fashion, the fulfillment and laws have explanations in apologetic theology.
>Sounds like the opposite of a bad consequence to me.
That's because these people were forgiven in the grand scheme of things. But Lot still had the suffer the shame for what he chose to do instead of staying in the land of his fathers.
To emphasize your point, it's also pointed out quite proudly in the book of Hebrews that Rahab is in the lineage of Christ. She was a prostitute. But King David and Moses as I mentioned were also murderers. Doesn't the Law also say that prostitutes and murderers can't inherit the kingdom of God? And yet Hebrews claims that they did. That is because you either don't understand what mercy is, or you hate it. These people suffered in their life for their evil but they were cleansed of it in the afterlife to be counted not as prostitutes as murderers, but rather as children of God.
>Evil in the world does not prove that God is wrong, it proves that we need him.
It proves neither. It doesn't even prove your God exists.
It's obvious that a God exists...creation implies a creator...but that doesn't mean this God is involved in our affairs, or wrote us a book.
It's obvious, by simple observation, that God is completely indifferent to our fate.
>apologetic theology
Also known as people claiming to know what God thinks.
Sorry, but they're just people saying whatever lets them maintain their completely arbitrary "faith".
>Doesn't the Law also say
So now you respect the Law when it's convenient for you?
>salvation through the Law was utterly evil
You can't have it both ways & remain honest.
>forgiven
So forgiveness doesn't involve the slaughter of innocent young animals anymore?
Was Leviticus 4.3 revoked?
NTA and not a Christian but your a fricking moron. There are several ways to argue against Christianity but you are not doing it correctly. Your subpar understanding of Christianity does not invalidate it.
>your a fricking moron
illiterate
opinion discarded
>Now you respect the law?
You are making an argument in bad faith. You ought to be able to tell the difference between the point I was making and me taking your own argument further (since you were missing the thrust of it).
>you can't have both
Christ fulfilled the law because we could not. But to try to fulfill the law after he had done so is like crucifying him again. That is why the Law was true as a standard of perfection, but not in a way that a sinful person could follow without doing evil.
>So forgiveness doesn't involve the slaughter of innocent young animals anymore?
That is what the Cross is. Jesus is also called the Lamb of God because he died for the sins of the world.
>zombie
He's not a zombie. Zombies lose consciousnesses. Jesus is a revenant, not a zombie
Before the end of August is the current plan.
Jesus frick anon, don't scare me like that
I read the free e-book.
You probably don't care for my review, but here it is anyway.
I tried to be nice...I really did.
Traffic Stop: Huh? Just sort of ends. Nothing resolved.
H.M.S. Mariana: "Ghost story" with a feeble, inconclusive ending.
Twin Candles: Another ghost story with a feeble, inconclusive ending.
KGB Agents From Beyond The Stars: Another ghost story with a feeble, inconclusive ending, but at least it had some narrative drive.
The Branca: Decent drama, decent imagery, and something resembling an ending. I don't understand everything, but I don't mind.
Silver Pasture: Another ghost story with an inconclusive ending, but at least it held my interest.
Vestigal: Did you mean "Vestigial"? Was the title literally misspelled? I have no idea what happened, but it kept my interest, and the imagery was vivid and haunting.
Ajar: No idea what's going on. At least it was short.
Not My Problem: Huh? Character study of an unhealthy loser, I guess. No idea why there are footnoted references.
Railroad Boys: Some sort of dark fantasy? Seems abstract and dream-like. Mostly enjoyable. Ending was inconclusive.
The Nuclear Man: Finally, some proper story structure. Plenty of emotion. And it had an actual ending.
Unbound: Decent attempt at Lovecraftian psychological horror. Wish it was longer.
Vacui: Decent buildup, seemed like it was going somewhere, then an inconclusive ending.
Mariana and Silver Pasture are not ghost stories
That's why I put "ghost story" in quotes.
They're in the ballpark.
I really wanted to like these stories more.
Oh no I don't mind your opinions in the least. Actually I mostly agree with your comments except I liked Traffic Stop and Mariana a lot more than you did. I just disagree with qualifying those as ghost stories since they're doing something very different.
Was I filtered by Traffic Stop? Seems like a guy just gets beaten and presumably executed by a psychopathic cop who doesn't buy him his coca cola?
Part of it is that we have no idea what happens, because the story simply ends.
Plus, there's no clue as to why the cop did what he did, or why he stalked the narrator, or what we, the reader, were supposed to get out of the story.
Is the theme that cops are bad and the police should be defunded? I have no idea.
Frick off Zulu
You really think Zulu would insult his own story?
Not everyone is as filled with self-loathing as you, Frank.
Stop projecting.
Inconclusive endings are based. They're a hallmark of the new movement.
Done properly, inconclusive endings are a hallmark of Gothic literature.
These stories did not have that kind of ending.
Kys plotgay
You should put that on the cover of the next edition.
You know, to warn people away from reading it.
You should submit a story.
No way in Hell am I getting involved with this toxic schizo dumpster fire.
Then where can I read your work?
I'm somewhere in
's OP author pastebin.
nope. sorry.
i'm done.
i just can't do it anymore.
interesting
Stop bumping your own thread, or I guarantee you you're going to regret it.
frick off you homosexual ass IQfy lurker
does this forum need /misc/ ids too?
Don't say I didn't warn you. Btw your OPSEC is terrible.
Pathetic
I am just proud that
troons have a safespace to publish their stories
buuuuulllshiiiiiiit
your slushpile must have a 1000+ submissions, like every other periodical, there is no way you are not absolutely flooded like every other zine.
Every other zine pays, moron
Right now total subs for Tales 2 numbers around 30. About half of that will make it into the anthology. Submissions are rolling all year round for future Tales releases.
I think I'll edit my story and submit as well.
We hope to see your sub soon! There's still space in the anthology.
If your story doesn't get in TotU2 doesn't get in, does that mean it's saved for another anthology/future Tales' you guys publish? Or just a flat-out nyet?
What's the editing selection process like?
This is the first time we're handling this many subs, so we're thinking it'll go more toward a "Keep and look over" mentality like &, but with a lower publishing frequency. Some subs we have received and have given a full No to on the basis of writing quality or themeing. Others we've seen and liked but have been shelved in favor of stronger, more in theme stories. The editors' goal for Tales 2 is to try to stick to the Weird Tales theme as best as possible, and like other presses, we're at the mercy of what is submitted, so we're trying to pick the best and most thematic stories and make something weird and fun and enoyable from them. It is looking good so far.
Selection process is pretty much described as above. We just look for quality and anthology theme first, and since it's a book, those two things are paramount.
So i write inter-racial erotica set in colonial times, stories about native girls beggin the white coloniers for creampies.
Would you be interested in publishing them?
Gross
>Some subs we have received and have given a full No to on the basis of writing quality or themeing
i can only imagine how awful they must be to not be up to your dog shit standards
Kinda wanna submit a story ngl
Do it, King.
Do it, Troon.
Do it homie
These threads always devolve into Nobody tier schizo shit
Very cool project. Lmao at the gays seething about it. Some people are never happy.
The crabs can’t bring Unreal down.
The crabs don't need to...Unreal's own crappy writing can do that all by itself.
Stfu crab
fascist bully
When do you expect the second volume to be published by?
We're hoping the end of August. Subs close next Tuesday, and then internal formatting and book design should take a little less than a month. Account for time to get it through Amazon's process and that puts us around September. This assumes all goes according to plan.
What does your editing / submission process look like? How do you curate? How many submissions do you usually get?
Just very curious. Also bumping to keep this alive. Make sure to send copies to reviewers.
There a little information in
and
. For editing, the editing team formats for the overall book style and leaves any intent in the author's hands. We pretty much correct just for spelling. Curation is in the eye of the beholder so quality like anything else in literature is dependent on the taste of the editor. We had good subs and good editors for Tales 1 and we have the same thing going for Tales 2. We try to maintain consistency with the Weird Tales influence. Having a strong vision and intent keeps a series like this as high quality as it can get. It means limiting subs to 14 or 15, even though we get 30 or more, and hoping those that didn't make it try again with a revised or new story. Because this isn't a magazine but a novel, it's most important to not be slapdash when it comes to quality, and above all to maintain that desire for theme. Like mentioned before though, it is reliant on the subs we get, and we can only hammer so much out of a collection of stories from many different people with their own interpretations. But that is what makes it fun for the editing team, and a little nerve wracking.
>high quality
KEK
You sound like a fricking idiot. Honestly. Even without prior knowledge of what bottom basement level greenhorns you are, posts like this alone would make me refrain from submitting. You don't have what it takes too write, and it's time you realized that. You're an eyesore.
SEX WITH OGDEN NESMER!
sounds kinda gay ngl
This unironically
homosexual
But I’m a girl
There are no women on IQfy
Pls give me that eggplant daddy Nesmer uwu
t. Nesmer
OP pic is kino
I am a trans woman and I love Tales of the Unreal
If you’re looking for some dick you should join the Unreal Discord server. Zac Labuschagne likes to frick trannies. He’s fricked three so far, but I bet he’d like to make it 4. Whether you’re pre or post op, it doesn’t matter to him. He enjoys girldick.
Gross. His writing is absolute shit as well.
Stop spreading fake news.
Pretty sure my mom has those same glasses KEK
She does, where do you think he picked them up from?
I looked through vol 2 and all the stories were pretty substantial in length. most journals i’ve read were peppered with shorter pieces and poetry. not sure how you guys are deciding on your format but my suggestion would be to break up those longer pieces with some smaller ones. there are some very good horror shorts that are only a page or two in length.
>some very good horror shorts
Genuine moron
what are you even trying to imply you dumb frick
That you’re a genuine moron with dogshit taste, “you dumb frick.”
you’re not even making a point. you’re just name calling and i don’t even know what the frick you’re trying to b***h about you goddamn idiot.
Stop taking HRT meds — they’re making your mind torpid
>I looked through vol 2
how is that possible
its not out yet
whatever the one linked in the top is. 1 then.
then you're not paying close attention
"Ajar" and "Unbound" were both very short
He’s right that there’s an uninterrupted block of 4K word stories at the start though.
>AHHHHH!!!!!THERE"S WORDS!!!!!!! I'M GOING INSANE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Just take the feedback and don’t embarrass yourselves
It’s not feedback, I didn’t write anything in the book, and in terms of being embarrassed considering I’m not afraid of text I’m not really sweating it.
>IQfy
>hates words
Time to kys anon
We're planning on that this time. We got a few good subs that were under 1000 words so they'll be peppered in.
Emailed my submission
sorry we had to pass on it. a little too pedophilic for our tastes.
Damn, didn’t know you fricks actually had standards
This shit seems like it's absolutely stacked with discord drama and troonyshit.
But I may submit it as a way to see if I can make something decent in 4 days.
Cool, we hope to see it soon. There's still space in the magazine for a few more subs.
When’s the actual release date?
>page 10 bump
>not a new IP
>faking interest
Very subtle!
>not a new IP
source on that? I literally just showed up.
It's been 55 IPs for almost 30 hours now. Install IQfyx.
Take your meds homosexual. I have no idea what the poster count was before I got here but if you’re focusing that hard you need to touch fricking grass
>but if you’re focusing that hard
It's literally no effort. IQfyx marks posts with a number if they are a new IP. Your post didn't have one because you weren't a new IP. I'm sorry your weird shilling attempt fell flat. Use your phone network for a new IP next time.
Post a pic showing that. You can’t because you’re full of shit. I haven’t posted in this thread and genuinely just want to submit to this project. So again, touch grass, take your meds, and find something useful to devote your life to instead of monitoring IQfy threads you clearly hate
>Post a pic showing that
>post a picture that looks entirely normal because there will be no number beside it due to it not being a new IP
moron. Just download the extension yourself homo. You can confirm its capabilities yourself.
>just like download the extension don’t make me prove what I’m claiming
Unironically kys and dilate, stupid frick.
Please get back to me with release date. I’d like to be a part of this and hopefully you’re planning to reach out to places other than IQfy where clearly there are a bunch of moronic schizos who hate anyone who tries to do something
Imagine being this much of a pathetic fricking moron. Touch grass.
bro you need to take a break from IQfy for your own mental health
Also I’m interested because I write and no one publishes my stuff. What is your fricking problem?
The text should be formatted and finalized pretty quickly. It's all the embellishments that may take a little longer. We're hoping to have it out before the end of August.
Very nice, thanks!
>some troony wrote bump 15 times
Kek tales of the unreal MTF morons are truly the biggest losers imaginable
Can somebody tell me why there's such an enormous amount of seething towards the people running this?
The people who run this doxxed multiple people and brought that drama to IQfy in an attempt to personal army. Very few people like them.
Damn, and I was considering sending them a story.
They doxxed two & contributors and spammed their faces in threads for months, going so far as to do cum edits of the female contributor.
The frick? Why?
samegay is obvious
>anyone who criticizes us or asks about our months long doxxing operations is just a samegay!
KYS
because they're egomaniacs with no actual talent so need to get off on the power trip
They disrupted our Discord. What the frick would you have done?
Get fricked, your discord. Listen to you.
I'd rather have butterfly come back at this point than you shitheels. You're not wanted here by anyone. Go away.
>You're not wanted here by anyone
We haven't been wanted here since the start. Didn't stop us then and it isn't gonna stop us now. I have 10+ people who are willing to bump these threads all day,every fricking day. You can't compete. Stop pretending you can.
Yes, and did you ever stop to use that tiny dull stone in your head to think what the benefit is of doing that? No one here is going to buy your horrible trash writing, ever, no matter how much you shill.
Wrong. I've got an entire discord willing to say the nicest things about Tales 2. You're just one little b***h. We'll see who has the loudest voice when the customers show up.
I’ll have you know that Tales 1 just passed 100 copies sold and I have no way of telling em so I’ll use this obvious bait to celebrate that milestone. good luck on the follow up fellas, ride that momentum.
>100 copies in 7 months
Gardner has sold more than that in the first 4 days on almost every release. That's not even good by IQfy standards.
A little over five months. And he hasn’t. I’ve been watching the bsr for just about every IQfy release since 2021, when we started. By my estimate he sells maybe a dozen copies of his non November 2021 releases? At most. Amazon reviews are a good indicator of sales and having 0 or 1 review suggests that you sold fewer than 10 books. Our review count is inflated due to community buy in, but even then, we pretty closely follow the 10x rule.
Best part about the top ten anon was that he crushed the souls of /wg/ by demystifying sales numbers. Nobody moves shit. Brutal in all honesty.
Ad far as IQfy releases go 100 copies is very good, ask me how I know (I’ve spoken to just about every single guy from IQfy to release a book)
If I had to guess, I’d say that Mixtape moved more and Fedbook moved more. All in all a good stretch for IQfy authors.
Gardner showed me his amazon sales. Kabbalah of the Crocodile was at 340 kindle copies sold and 128 paperbacks sold.
I'm sorry to break it to you guys, but you're pulling rookie numbers and no amount of cope you can pull from BSR and Review/sale ratio is going to change that.
It would be very hard to believe that a book with 4 reviews sold nearly 500 copies, especially since THE Tales of THE Unreal Issue 1(Volume 1((Number 1*~~ outsold its debut while in its 4th week of circulation, but if the Revered Dr Francis J Gardner says it…
I doubted it as well. He streamed his browser for me and I even made him refresh the page so I could see it wasn't Inspect Elements trickery. The sales numbers seem to be legit.
How did you get him to agree to this he has always been shifty about showing anyone in my experience and I have shared multiple servers with him
He has also been caught out both buying reviews, and youtube views for himself and any channels which cover him or his stuff
>How did you get him to agree to this
Prefer not to say.
>He has also been caught out both buying reviews, and youtube views for himself and any channels which cover him or his stuff
If he bought these books himself then he has frick-you money to throw at not looking like a failure. All of his books sold more than Kabbalah. COTC had almost 7k sales combined.
I mean, he does have frick you money his parents are like corrupt low level politicians
I think a lot of the COTC sales came from the free campaign he was running through ads but I can't see him getting 7k sales just from that when this board has so few people.
I'm far from pro-Gardner. I hate this author culture that has sprung up around IQfy and everyone involved in it. Gardner is the source of that so he's earned a fair amount of my ire. I only bring this up because I find it hilarious that you guys are big talking 100 sales over 5 months when the class clown is beating you to a pulp.
I mention it because it’s a good milestone and I’m proud of it. It’s in a good place with good momentum, something to build off of. I know my stuff and feel pretty qualified to make this designation.
IQfyners, and maybe most people, have a very all or nothing approach. I feel like most of these people try something once and after not being an immediate success they just throw it in. No way to approach life tbqhwyfam
The ratio isn’t my idea, its just a general rule of self published fiction. The amount of readers you should expect to leave a review and if you’re under that, good practices to achieve a better ratio. I’ll take your one anecdote into account along with the many others that constitute the data.
We have a slightly higher ratio for all of our releases because we place numerous calls for reviews throughout each release, which is supposedly how you do these things.
Just as an idea to bounce around for you, Mike Ma’s Harassment architecture is pretty consistently in the 30k range for BSR. You can look for yourself to see how many reviews it has on both platforms. His other book is usually ranked 60kish. This is important, because one day in February we sold 10 paperbacks, and this was enough to launch us above Gothic Violence for the day but still below HA, which should give you a good estimate of what these rankings means for sales.
A day with three sales will have us in the 100-150k range.
A fun passtime for you or anyone else would be to watch the BSR of Kabbalah for the next week or so (currently 1.9million), and see if it represents the 3-4 sales a day required to justify that paperback sales figure. Another point of reference, Tales has sold 1 copy a day for the duration of this thread being up(why I’m here) and is currently ranked ~250k.
Now, I will concede that my estimates about Frank are just wrong, only if we agree that for Frank, and Frank alone, BSR does not apply (because other authors like Zulu and Ogden corroborated these observations).
Didn’t come here to fight about Francis though.
You are the most pathetic motherfricker on planet earth. But aside from that, you're not making it in the top of anything.
Crumblicker.
Sorry you feel that way!
I sort of believe the Croc numbers. It was a genuine minor hit, and the review count backs that up. Not to the tune of 7k though. If you ever want, for some crabby reason, to guesstimate how little an author you hate sells, just look at Amazon reviews. They keep to a pretty consistent pattern.
But he does have frick you money. He bought thousands of reviews on goodreads, and created a scandal so severe that it hit the front page of Reddit. He bought thousands of views for his podcast interview on YouTube. He has spent probably ten thousand on IQfy ads since 2020, a guess I make because I’ve ran IQfy ads for a total of 3 weeks with maybe 1.5 million views and that cost 250.
Somehow he’s loaded, but it ain’t from book sales. Interesting guy in a kiwi farms sort of way
I'll also add that your reviews/sale ratio is complete BS. You't apply a correlation that rigid when we're talking a number this low and with such high variance even in our tiny sample size. Even you had to preface the statement with how you're an outlier because your own authors are bumping up the review scores in bad faith.
My book, which I published back in 2017, has only 4 reviews but is sitting at over a thousand sales now.
Sauce. Put up or shut up with all this big sales talk
I have no need to dox myself to you crumb licking ants. Your litlte dick measuring contests always make me howl with laughter. Bragging about being in #320000 in the BSL, lmao. I've made the top 1000 multiple times and it's not even hard. You're just no good at this. Get another hobby.
Mike?
Mike’s review count is perfectly indicative of his sales as indicated by BSR, so probably not
I'm not the guy who responded to you, but I'm still not going to dox myself. I've kept my writing unassociated with IQfy and I'd like to keep it that way.
>The ratio isn’t my idea, its just a general rule of self published fiction.
I'm not arguing that there isn't some correlation, just that it's impossible to pretend that correlation is substantive enough to place any value on. It's like saying that Youtube likes = views. Sure, something with more views is bound to have more likes but that doesn't mean you should be farming out likes just because that 100% means you're going to get more views.
BSR is also a terrible metric because it's so obfuscated. No one knows where the BSR begins and ends in its counting.
Sure, he could be an extreme outlier. And you’re right, BSR’s formula is a mystery. But, if I were to just correlate all of what we can know, I’m going to conclude that the book ranked consistently behind the other with fewer reviews than 4 IQfy books that released concurrently didn’t sell 4x as many copies. People can disagree, it’s not like I have a vested interest in maligning f Gardner, you brought him up!
I do disagree because I’ve seen the numbers. I’m not here to defend Gardner. I’m sure he cheated those sales in some way or another, you don’t need to convince me, but your adherence to this obviously inadequate degree of evidence says a fair bit about you and your relation to Gardner.
Your claim requires the superior evidence.
But ñ, you’ve distracted me, IQfy is such a morose board. No other creative board is this petty. My only concern is that Tales 2 mogs Tales 1, as progress is the only measure for success I pay attention to.
>source: Gardner showed me
Fricking KEK. Honestly hard to tell if this post is sincerely pro-Gardner or just Unrealite disinfo. Either way no one believes this
>the Gardnerian Junta vs the Unrealite Allied Factions
Okay, this is epic
Hope everything is going well brether
The brotherhood misses you
Doing great frfr I shouldn’t even be on here but the thread topic jebaited me
I remember him getting mildly upset about the top ten lists but refusing to show sales numbers, which basically every other lit authors was fine with (everyone knows nobody’s moving shit).
He’s better than Card though, who insisted he bought a house with royalties from a pair of books with zero reviews that were ranked in the 10 millions.
Given where we are, the fact that only a pair of authors out of dozens have tried to lie about their success is a little surprising.
Elaborate on that disruption. Also you just ban them from your discord and stop thinking about it you petty little frick
Kys discord trannies
>going so far as to do cum edits of the female contributor.
I'm going to need photographic proof for scholarly needs.
Look through the past couple &akp threads in the archives. Not gonna repost it cause I’ll get a ban
can’t be arsed just repost it don’t be a little b***h
we didn’t do the cum edits
that was ari and he just blamed us cuz he wants to take us down
If unreal did do the cum edit it’d be really easy to find out who as only a handful of them have a white penis and two are confirmed dicklets
Who are the dickletz
L.A. and Krake. They both have micropenises
Why do you know the penis size of all of the Unreal members
He knows because he’s personally fellated them all at one of their troony sex cult parties
I don't but you just know Ogden is packing.
Frick off NesmerBlack person
Woolston is uncircumcised, he mentioned it in the discord once but I forgot to screenshot it.
You just know his sweaty foreskin is unwashed and full of foul reeking smegma
Woolswine wallows in his own filth.
What an ugly fat frick. Very porcine.
Every time I see this shit I die laughing, it’s just too accurate. He has the bloated swollen ruddy countenance of a fattened pig made worse by very pig-like features: small beady eyes, an upturned snout, a thin slit of a mouth, and a double chin and thick neck full of fat rolls. Very unfortunate looking fellow. Shame his daughter looks so much like him. Poor tyke won’t have it easy.
>IQfy: Gardner, your entire life has been a failure. Your every action inspires resentment and disgust. Everyone knows perfectly well that you aren’t even fooling yourself with your idiotic charade of being an author. All of IQfy would prefer a reality in which you had never existed.
>Gardner: yeah, but isn’t Woolston kinda funny looking? Let’s all mock his infant daughter instead of me!
So, how many stories have you guys received for this one? Approaching real slush pile numbers? Big milestone if so.
Sub 100 is dogshit. I sell goyslop and get 4 figures in sales and even that is still just 'average'. You've been doing this for what? Years now?
Just pointless. Find a new hobby.
James Krake sells books
Maybe if he works the counter at B&N. Otherwise, no.
Woolston is a wretchedly pathetic sort. His books are horrifically boring
Bump
Nice bump anon
Thx bro
Would you accept a submission based on traditional Chinese cuisine?
I know your lead editor is from HK and fear he might veto the premise
If it's weird and/or horror fiction we'll read and consider it. Subs close at midnight EDT tonight though, so send it in ASAP.
Never thought it would possible for someone to have more testosterone than all the unreal trannies combined
>Gardner literally doxxing an infant
Christ bro, you go low
Woolswine has a little piglet
Hope your daddy lawyer explains you posting naked babies pedo.
We have all our subs! Thanks to everyone that submitted.
You can still send in a submission as Tales subs are open year round, but our next project won't be coming out for a bit and will be a little different than the past two Tales.
What’s the next project gonna be like?
It will be another Tales installment, or may be run parallel with it. We'll have premade characters for people to structure adventures with in an episodic fashion. So the core characters will remain the same from story to story, but their adventures and the style will be up the writer. If it gets unruly and needs to be a separate anthology not related to Tales, we may start opening subs for Tales 3 sooner than expected.
Two questions...
-How do I find submission guidelines on the site? This thread won't be here forever, and I doubt you'll continually make threads like this.
-Is this just horror, or would you accept stuff like Sword & Sorcery?