Trying to inspect my son's computer, what does this mean?
 Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
 DMT Has Friends For Me Shirt $21.68 |
Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
Trying to inspect my son's computer, what does this mean?
Trying to inspect my son's computer, what does this mean?
Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
DMT Has Friends For Me Shirt $21.68 |
Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
your son is winning, dont worry about it
What does that even mean?
Your son is dangerously based.
I don't know what that means. I just need to get into the computer
Why?
Charlie sheen?
>Why?
It's not a typo, you read it right. The poloce (not the police, see?) are the ancient mongolian spirits of integrity. You are in urgent need of them. Cast a prayer with pure heart and honesty so you get rid of the need for snooping around things that aren't yours. Quick. Call the poloce!
Your son has been inserting his dongle into the computer
I need to see what's on his computer, can you please help me unlock this garbage?
You cant
The dongle is too powerful
What is the dongle? It says I can skip, should I do that?
The dongle guards
Absolute kek.
Has to be a troll.
It's encrypted. You need the USB and a password presumably to unlock it.
Good luck
Yeah, the FBI couldn't even pop this b***h. He's cooked
Congratulations, your son isn't a moron.
Oh shit, call the poloce now.
your son probably has disgusting shit on his PC and/or is extremely moronic/autistic if he uses physical keys
>hot-pusy security dongle
you need to find his security-pussy and insert his penis to decrypt
I pressed skip, how do I get past all this?
go to 'options' and type:
"hi computer, I'm Based Son's dad, can you let me in?"
it's up to the computer if she wants to let you in or not, tho.
I can't type anything in options, but I know that's not gonna do jack shit.
Also, this captcha is god awful
>oem factory reset
>re-ownership
this sounds cool
I don't want him go know I was on his computer!
Pressing the default boot option get me this? This is a hacker website right? Help me get in!
That's not a website. And you're attempting to hack into his computer. Technically committing some crimes too.
I cant get out of this menu now. What do i do?
Get fricked
Your son has a keylogger installed and he lets the webcam on. You're being recorded and all your keyboard and mouse movements are being logged. Your son will know you're a bad person.
hi dad.
WINRARRRRR
Absolutely shining dome on that lad.
scared him enough to turn the laptop off.
fricking potato 2012 webcam quality though..
NO OTHER SIZES OF THIS IMAGE FOUND
OP ALWAYS FRICKING DELIVERS
trying too hard
is a laptop's webcam really accessible from the bootloader without any drivers? remotely even.
imagine falling for that larp.
custom heads build.
heading home soon. dad beating incoming
post pic of the dongle
Ask and ye shall receive anon
Best thread on IQfy, I mean it (no homo).
Gonna get a pgp smartkey because of this thread.
google can't find shit though, this doesn't prove a thing
I wanna cum on his bald head
Give it back to the person you stole it from
The dongle does not forgive
>This is a hacker website right?
you had mistaken us with the hacker known as IQfy
this is a Chinese basket weaving forum
Mangolia is NOT China.
#Backoffinvader.
Why not just bruteforce the password? Keep trying random things.
Just reset the bios by removing batteries, then format the drives, and install windows 11.
He will thank you.
call the cops, your "son" is likely a pedophile if he has disk encryption and/or security measures on their PC
op is evidence that disc encryption is useful for stopping snooping Black folk as well
I already told you to leave my computer alone, dad. Shit like that is why mom left you.
Definitely not my son
CALL THE POLOCE!
If you keep trying I'm calling mom's boyfriend.
You obviously have a history of snooping if he has to do this to keep you out
I can inspect my sons computer when I please thank you very much
Cleary not since he's locked you out with no way to access it lmao
You sound abusive. I hope your son leaves as soon as possible
It means that without the dongle you will not be able to access its files pretty simple really
>File: signal-2024-03-28
The Thlot Pickens
Seek help, Snoopy.
There is a reset button under the red nipple, just pop it off and stick a paper clip into it.
>Thinkpad
>"Dad" trying to see what's inside
The sloppiest glow job I've seen
You should be even more concerned about your snooping behaviour if you're a woman. It's disgraceful.
So this is the power of AFP and ASIO glowies?
I don't work for the government!
Give the computer back Tyrone
That's exactly what a government agent would say
I'm sorry to say but your son is transgender. HOTP is an operating system that WPATH (
World Professional Association for Transgender Health) licenses to all transgender teenagers to prevent their parents from snooping.
dubs = Black person
trips = master baiter anon
even = snoopy daddy
odd = glowBlack person
rollin
I AM NOT A FED. WHY DO YOU PEOPLE THINK THAT? HOW DO YOU KNOW IM IN AUSTRALIA?
You fricked up son.
You fricked up hard.
roll
It's biometrically encoded, nothing we can do pal.
Anon, just put your dongle in
Please just help me get in. I'm at my wits end. I turned it off and on again and I got the yellow screen back
The dongle does not forget
What were you even tryna snoop?
re-ownership options or he will know
GIVE IT BACK JAMAL
I'll give you this one for free:
HOTP stands for "Henry's Official Testicular Padlock", basically marketing speak for advanced biometrics.
You need to rest your ballsack on the trackpad for it to override the dongle. It was never famous for being super secure so it shouldn't really detect a difference in scrotum topology, at least from my experience.
Based tech support. We need moar people like you around, fren.
This but it only works with
This
Yeah, helps if your related because it has a hard time telling DNA apart from close family members
Factory Reset / Re-Ownership means that you can bypass the encryption,
"Re-Ownership" basically means you want to reclaim the data, so you'll be able to access it. But you need to let the process go and select "reclaim" to get it. Just go through that option and keep pressing yes and it will come up eventually.
this
please follow the instructions here, he is right:
Yes but only with
Where's that option again?
Nevermind, got it
Yeah, don't actually do that.
no no, let him do it
Do this, I have a mastersbin IT and he is right ->
>luks
==CALL THE POLICE HES TOTALLY HIDING CHILD PORN ON THERE FFS==
It's a voice lock.
say "Computer, I have the dongle" in a firm strong voice.
ok, there is no way this isn't a bait thread, right?
he's the master baiter!
I don't know what that means. Please just help me unlock this fricking thing. I'm at my wits end
how long until i can put my dongle in a Thinkpad robot
It means your son has, meritedly I might add, configured his laptop in such a way to avoid access by an unauthorized third party.
Okay, since there's a bunch of trolls here:
If you wanna get in, you cant at the moment because your son has physical security enabled. Unscrew the bottom of the laptop if you can, there should be a piece of hardware that looks like the picture attached to this message. Remove it, and preferably destroy it, because if it is put back in, your son will know that you removed it and will be able to tell that you tried to get into the laptop.
This. The only way around is removing the internal dongle, it looks exactly like picture.
He had another one just like that in his room. I don't need the one from inside.
Oh shit, destroy that thing now.
Guys, he has the dongle, it's over.
That's from a different computer. You need to remove the one inside the laptop.
He has a whole stack of them on his desk
How do I do that?
You need to ask the dongle
Troglodyte doesn't know what a screwdriver is
unscrew the bottom. Find it. Then you can either unscrew it from the computer, or just stab with something sharp.
>or just stab with something sharp.
Yes but you need to fully unplug the electricity in order to protect the rest of the circuits.
Then remove the dongle from the laptop, then a careful, firmly laid puncturing right in the middle. Iron scissors are good for this.
>Dongle encrypted laptop
>Pile of loose dongles sitting conveniently on the desk
Use your head man, they're clearly red herrings.
Your finger prints are all over it now. He'll know lol
Busted, game over, the gig is up, you were doing so well, thanks for playing
Your son has encrypted his data in such a way that it requires a special dongle inserted into the computer at boot to be decrypted. There is no way on earth anyone can access that computer's files without the dongle. Give it back Jamal.
250 gig HDD? thats a fricking relic
the laptop is from 2012, only a couple years newer than that hdd
That just means you have two Hard Dongles, they cancel each other out at that point. Maybe if you find a third and connect it to the mainframe perhaps...
quit larping with the discarded office supplies
Guys where can i buy dongle?
Anyone called?
NO WAY CAN I BUY YOU PLEAS
Brother I was born to be bought! Please be my guest.
YIPPE YES PLEAS HOW MUCH
That would be six Factory Resets please
I onli havee 5 ):
COMPUTER, I HAVE THE DONGLE.
I don't want to erase things you bastsrds! He'll know!
do this ->
only way.
IGNORE THE TROLLS. They will make you destroy your sons data.
do as it says in
Inside is the Hard dongle (Hard TPM Security Dongle) If it is removed, you can access the computer.
You have to do it to "reclaim" the data, what are you confused about exactly?
It says ERASE in big bold letters!
Take a shit on the laptop. It'll reset then
Learn what a keylogger/mouse event recorder are. He will know at this point. Too late.
If he's the kind of guy to use physical dongle as authentication, he will also most probably this
You're thoroughly fricked at this point.
How am I supposed to know that you didn't just steal someone else's laptop?
Why do you want to inspect your son's computer anyway?
You seem pretty tech illiterate, you probably wouldn't understand what's inside even if you got in
OK HERES HOW TO ACCTUALLY DO IT
FIRST YOU HAVE TO REMOVE THE INTERNAL DONGLE
THEN REST UR SACK ON THE SACKSCAN°
THEN SAY "COMPUTER OPEN THE DONGLE"
I tried to do it, it wants the fricking dongle again! What dongle?!
REMOVE THE INTERNAL DONGLE.
How the frick is the computer supposed to know you have the dongle if you don't tell it? It's not a fricking psychic, just lie to it.
Stick your penis in the network port. That's what it mean when it says to insert dongle
it wants you to insert your dong inside the port
it means you should grab your son's dongle and try inserting it into every hole until something happens
There isn't a hole for it on the computer? What am I supposed to do?
I was gonna goon but this thread feels better
uooooohhh I'm gonna doongle!!!
BIIIIIIIIIT ENCRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYPT
Hey what Thinkpad or whatever is in these pics it looks neat.
Unironically I had a friend that told me this dirty little trick:
4 to 5 coca-cola drops around the red trackpoint (you know, the little round red thing in the middle of the keyboard).
That often gets the passwords a little loosey, even the dongle-protected passwords.
Many computers have been hacked this way.
put me in the screencap nya :3
THE DONGLE RUES SUPREME
I make better threads and get less replies, frick you
Half the replies are samegays, can't you tell?
In fact, the entirety of the posts in this thread, except the other guy, are me.
This thread is too fast for being mostly samegays
>He only samegays from one machine
Skill issue
You all are just aspects of my own imagination
hallo sir u need DOUNGLE sir thd Usb keyboard nintendo DX 2 64 Pro sir bye sir
Which hole morons?
the one behind your ballsack
the left door on the side of the machine.
unscrew that screw and then it should slide out.
Then like stab it with something sharp.
It looks different to the other one
nope
sadge
>It looks different
Do you have a hammer?
I'm not breaking anything! He'll know if o break it.
you already broke it idiot
>I'm not breaking anything!
How else will you crack the code and decrypt his dongle?
anon, make https://poal.me polls to decide your every next action
Yeah, crack that b***h open
Solid state drives are government hardware, you fricked up ripping that thing apart lmao
its just a different kind of TPM Security Drive
Proceed with knife or hammer
show the color of your skin
I think we all know what the color of their skin is.
Why?
No reason
Rip in piss laptop, you will be missed
Will take too long. Use hammer
nobody asked you to tell us about your wedding night
Whichever one you're feeling tonight, I'm not picky.
Your ass hole
6
7
8
12
17
18
the goatse hole
>son didn't put tape on the screws
yep it was fake the whole time
wait until OP tries to unscrew them and they're glued in
The kid is still new, give him some slack
just call the police, they have a replacement dongle
>Screws halfway in
further evidence of your incompetence
This is why you should have a honeypot filesystem that has nothing interesting on it. Make the encrypted filesystem available only if you press shift while booting or something.
This. But for that you need honey. OP after you unscrew the bottom, grab some honey from the kitchen and apply a generous layer over all the green areas. Everything you see green, you apply honey.
The feds just plant stuff most of the time. Yeah, YOU will know, but it won't matter
That's against tyrones, it's completely ineffective against feds, they'll just find your drive through lsblk, doubt tyrone will though
Give your "son" back their laptop Jamal. Stop stealing things that aren't yours. Quit being such a useless fricking Black person your whole life, go get a real job and maybe you can afford a laptop of your very own one day.
OP, you have been DONGLED!
What am I supposed to do with this?
The screen is red now
Now your kid will find out. Congratulations!
dude. Stab the Solid State TPM Drive and put it back in. It's hard to explain and sounds barbaric, but you need to do it to access the operating system lmfao.
Another successful IQfy Hack™.
wtf where did you get that pic of me
Exit to the recovery shell
From there, you can bypass the dongle
Where mr dongl add??
>that reflection in the picture
I am enhancing it as we speak
dawg.
no. Dong
I love dongle
I put it back in and the screen is still red. How do i get it back to normal?
DID YOU STAB IT LIKE WE TOLD YOU TO?
No that's stupid. I put the other one in. I had to unscrew the little case on the black to get the new one to fit properly
>No that's stupid. I put the other one in
I bet you forgot to run a magnet against it first...
I wonder why your son needed to do all this stuff to keep you out. You're a dumb motherfricker
alright man that's not gonna do anything. You need the original TPM Drive and it needs to be punctured.
He thinks puncturing is a joke because of the fricking trolls, when in fact it's the only thing that will reset the dongle.
Recovery shell please
lulz
Your fingerprints will be very useful.
Thank you for your sacrifice.
Kek. Unironically this is the only way of reverting back the changes.
Hurry up OP, most solid state drives have a 30 minute offset timer after they get removed to switch back to resting state.
Find a hollow spot protected by a sticker and stab it until you hear a slight crack, don't be afraid of damage, the layer below is hard as frick.
What you removed is the drive that contains the activates the dongle. By removing it, it is now possible for you to bypass it. You'll need to use the recovery shell to do this.
What do i do?
Microwave ur dongle
Enter the recovery shell and tell us what you see. It should be a text input, so type help to see what options are available.
Ok. I'll put the other one back in and try that.
Seems like the disk oxidized when you removed it from the computer. Soak it in a bowl of half water half isopropyl alcohol for 1 hour, dry it with a hair dryer, and quickly put it back.
To get into your sons computer you need the dongle, the dongle is most likely a usb drive. Put the hardware back in the computer and look for a usb drive. Plug it into the computer and try to boot it.
If no usb drives work, you cannot get into your son's computer. Why do want to get into your son's computer?
He has a black one on his keys. I always wondered why. This might be it
I think the USB he has on his keys has something to do with it. He plugs It in whenever he opens the computer
>White Caucasian male in his 40s
The dad theory gains a bit of ground
so dounglel dondl
Wait, your hand is WHITE! You should know better than to do criminal shit. I'm very disappointed in you.
>Trying to inspect my son's computer
what's the use case?
kek
anon just stop, you lost and it's over.
Just when you thing superhomosexual can’t get any more gaygier, OP posts on IQfy and proves everyone wrong. JFC, go away. Your offspring cares about security, and you can’t even bother to google for what you’re seeing. Piss off marfan.
Anyone else feeling dongly?
Dongle (dongle)
I'd dongle your dongly dongle, if you catch my drift
Me too please i want 2 get dongled
Are you really so stupid as to think you can somehow bypass the need for the security dongle? What would the FRICKING point of it be if some moronic dad could bypass it with a menu option or a screw driver?
Put me in the LARPshot!
>physically breaking the SSD instead of safely wiping it in a microwave
i swear you guys are genuinely moronic sometimes.
Microwaving only works with Hard Disk Drives, not with Solid State. You need to puncture the device peripheral in SSDs.
This is not true at all. I've been microwaving SSDs to clean them for sale for years.
bullshit. Why are you blatantly lying? Only way to wipe SSD is by puncturing.
Well I might be wrong, I concede, but I prefer puncturing because it also resets the disk to the pre-removal state, therefore protecting OP from his son finding out.
he tries to crack the security
hammer will work the best
Now its all text on a black screen. No clue what do to from here
Read the text you fricking moron
Read? You're asking too much
The last line is an instruction, press the Y/n/b key
rtfm
this is truly a p.ecker.tech/chan moment.
'ick on 'eck
Bot thread
Bot reply
AFP's abilities were definitely overhyped...
How do you know I'm in Australia? And why do you think I'm the AFP?
The dongle does not forget
>How do you know I'm in Australia?
your pics are upside-down for us
All of your photos have timestamps, my friend. Not many places in the world where it's currently 15:24.
>mfw 05:24 for me
Me too
That's what shitty opsec does to a mf
and if only 4chin wasn't so forgiving, they'd for sure have gps information embedded in too
he forgot to remove the exif data from his pictures there is gps info
if you type in the correct password it decrypts the data
maybe you can guess it, but i doubt it
Your son's laptop is literally broadcasting the GPS coordinates to IQfy, how do you think we recognize each other?
Only they have that precise mix of incompetence and moronation to try hack a laptop with the help of 4chin
I pressed n and it asked the same thing again, so I pressed b and now its asking for a password and I can't get back. What do I do?
YOU. NEED. TO. PUNCTURE. THE. SSD.
ARE YOU moronic WE'VE BEEN TELLING YOU FOR 30 MINUTES
That's only when it's connected dumbfrick. What is it going to do out of the machine?
It's his own fault now, he bypassed the dongle protocol without cracking it. It's over.
THAT WILL BREAK IT IM NOT moronic.
Pressing enter does nothing. I can't get out of this menu. I'm going to turn it off and on again
Enter the pin numbnuts, it says it right there.
I don't know the pin otherwise I'd enter it wouldn't I?
What do you think those strings of numbers are?
It's an encrypted system, there's a pin, they flash before it asks you to enter it, fricking piece it together.
look deep into your soul and pick out a passphrase from the ethereal cosmos
wait I have an idea
what if they put the dongle pin inside the dongle itself in the factory? Try opening it
nobody here is willing or able to help you
everyone telling you to do anything but give up is trolling you
you're moronic and i'm proud of your "son" for encrypting his shit so you can't get to it
>IM NOT moronic.
anon, I...
fr*nchbro?
>french
No
Lol im from austria
oh nice. I love Austrian painters
(:
>IM NOT moronic.
Well, I mean
>THAT WILL BREAK IT
Anon, it won't break it if you remove the SSD.
Remove the SSD, look for the sticker-covered hole, apply firm pressure with a sharp, pointy object until you hear a clear, dry crack.
Type "Yes, do as I say!"
Linus, is that you?
You already broke it when you pulled it out.
The game ended 20 minutes ago.
Get the password from your son.
Listen to these anons, OP
you could try fooling the DNA authentication system. see that red round thingy in the middle of the keyboard? cum on it. since you're his father, it's likely to misidentify the cum as his.
End of the road pal. You don't know if the thumb drive is the correct one. You don't know the password to use the backup thumb drive.
you need to destroy the old dongle moron its wireless
no im not joking
^ all me
I'm trying default boot again. Gets rid of those menus. What do I do here to get through?
type 'passphrase' and press enter
YOU STUPID Black person YOU PUT THE DONGLE BACK IN
WERE BACK TO SQUARE ONE
>Managed to reconnect the SSD
Third strike
You're out
Guess the passphrase.
Think of it as a test on how much you know your son.
Maybe you should talk to your fricking son instead of breaking his shit you homosexual boomer
Did I just miss a legendary thread?
Yes
Na, just periodical larp. Still funny tho.
Anon/troll. You’ve already locked up the GPG hardware token, to the point it needs an admin PIN to unlock it. Quit while you’re ahead. He/she/it already knows. I’m done. Abandoning thread.
When you eventually figure out you're a moron you should come back to this thread for advice on interrogating your son since you are clearly useless as a father
I seriously hope some one did put me in the fricking screencap. You did, didn't you?
I put you in the fricking usv port Mr Dongle
Mr dongle betrayal
You should try to break into your wife's phone next
his wife already left him for Tyrone
We have each others passwords, I don't need to
did she give the password to her second phone too?
Lol guys he removed the dongle I can't believe this shit.
Im going through his room to find the dongle. He keeps all his computer stuff in a locked case. I just need go get into that
Rip
the gift that keeps on giving
Have you thought about why both his computer and his computer parts are locked?
/thread, he should have called the cops when he saw encryption software on the computer
Dad, why is my locked case busted apart and why are you holding my decoy dongle?
Decoy????
Abs kino
Everyone has a decoy dongle. One that erases all the data lol
Not my son
and thus anon's son learns why hardware tokens are a bad idea :^)
I don't suppose any of you are locksmiths here? Probably just going to have go call one.
The box is plastic
generally you can tell what the code for a lock is based on the wear of the numbers, for this one the code looks to be 6969
try 1984
gotta give it to you on the dedication to the performance
Chainsaw?
those are fed hands
fem* hands
gay* hands
Any combination lock with less than 6 wheels is easily brute forced. There are only 10000 possible combinations, get trying
your telling me youre a boomer and you dont have one of these?
He will know if I break the fricking lock!
what do you think the locksmith will do
...you thought locksmiths didn't break locks?
He's already going to know based on what you have already done, moron. Be ready with an apology and $500 for a new SSD when your kid gets home.
It's an X230.
Dad, do NOT open that box.
That's were I keep my uuuuh, *special* programming gear
He fell for the box full of dildos trap
now kiss
IQfy is literally one dude talking to himself
ok but unironically explain why do autists want to be women
Is life really better as a woman?
For certain interpretations of "better"
Sadly YWNBAW
elaborate, what is better about it even?
Boobies on demand
just drill through the case bro, who cares about the flimsy little lock
DAD NO!!!
THAT'S MY DRAGON DILDOS BOX
Hello Tyrone, if your son has an interest in technology or politics, the password could be any of the following:
>1488
>1337
>6969
>4141
>1984
>0420
>1938 (or any important date)
or any repeating number like 1111, 2222, etc..
pure reddit. probably the gayest thread ever
My god, this thread is a fricking shit show.
Alright moron OP, here's one way to revert it back to normal, but you need to do this shit quick or else the changes will get safe-registered and you won't be able to revert jack shit.
Open the whole case and look for a piece that looks like picture.
There may be one, there may be two or more. you need to remove the RIGHT-MOST one. Not the ones in the middle (if there's any), not the left one, but the RIGHT-MOST one.
If there's only one, then that's the one.
Now with a cotton rag and a small quantity of clear water, just to get the rag a little damp, gently rub all the golden pins for 30-45 seconds. NOT MORE, nor less.
Then put it back and pray to god you did it in time.
Posting in a dumb thread!
>clearly disconnected replies mimicking previous posts trying to blend in.
This thread was an A.I. textbot deploy. The OP is just here to give the thread's framework
son really went above and beyond to protect his cute and funny
That's because it's extremely illegal in Australia, even if fictional
lmao'ing at seeing the word "dongle" repeated about a hundred times ITT
okay i have an idea
instead of hammering the ssd dongle like the other anons were saying you can disable it by freezing it. Then the son will not notice and yoy can slide it right back in. It will take alot of time though.
why does every IQfy thread devolve into troony discussion
its a popular tourist destination
troony board
the real answer is that there are people very interested in disrupting uncontrolled discourse on the internet.
troony shit is just a distraction
If my son do this, I would plug another HDD in, clone whole disk to it, then inspect it.
it's encrypted, how are you more moronic than op
genius
OP just fricking gave up
Anyone (you) me to prove its reall
(you)ed.
Thanks
Poor OP, he fell for the dongle removal.
OP here, quick update, my son came home and dongled me. I'm a gay btw. Over and out.
post webm of the dongling
Buy an ad